When you think of jokes to make you laugh, it’s usually silly little one-liner jokes that make you chuckle. It’s not often that biology jokes come into the horizon. Yet here we are with a huge collection of jokes about biology to make a rather grave subject a bit more laid back.
These jokes will work great to have a laugh yourself, or if you’re a teacher of the subject, you can’t go wrong with a couple of biology puns to lighten the mood in the classroom. Because there’s nothing better than having a funny teacher who’s got jokes. It just sets the mood right, and students get a whole lot more motivated. Or, if you’re a student, you can put your smart pants on and crack a few of these clever jokes to the teacher!
And now, get ready to dive into the wonderful sea of biological science jokes! Be it for a personal laughing session or the need for puns for teachers to use in a classroom, this list should provide you with everything you’re seeking.
#1
Ants never get sick. They have little anty bodies.
#2
Why did the biologist break up with the physicist?
They had no chemistry.
#3
I wish I was adenine…
Then I could get paired with U.
#4
Where did the viruses go?
They flu away.
#5
What do you call an organic compound with an attitude?
A-mean-o acid.
#6
Y’all want to hear a potassium joke?
K.
#7
Biology is the only science where multiplication is the same thing as division.
#8
I was reading a book on helium…
I couldn’t put it down.
#9
Two blood cells met and fell in love. Sadly, it was all in vein.
#10
What does a biologist tell you when you have to give blood?
B positive!
#11
What do you call a cab that provides drug therapy?
Chemotaxis.
#12
What’s the tiniest virus in the world?
Smallpox.
#13
What do other plants do when one of their plant friends is sad?
Photosympathize.
#14
My biology teacher decided to create vocal cords with stem cells. The results really speak for themselves.
#15
Why was the amoeba sad?
His parents just split.
#16
A couple of biologists had twins…
They named one Jessica and the other Control.
#17
What did the endoplasmic reticulum say to the Golgi?
“I like your body,” it said.
Golgi replied, “It’s complex.”
#18
One flower looks at the other and says, “You hungry?”
The second flower responded, “I could use a light snack.”
#19
Why was the girl worried about biology class?
She has a Nervous System.
#20
You’re so hot, you denature my proteins.
#21
Good news! There are well over 100 labs in America working on developing a vaccine.
Just wait till they get the German shepherds involved!
#22
You can hear the blood in your veins if you listen varicosely.
#23
Why did the woman break up with the biologist?
He was too cell-fish.
#24
What do biologists post on Instagram?
Cell-fies.
#25
What do you call the leader of a biology gang?
The nucleus.
#26
Today in biology class we were dissecting an eye.
I kept thinking of jokes but they were getting cornea and cornea.
#27
Biology professor: “Hello, class. Today we will be learning about the liver and the pancreas.”
Biology student: “Ugh, I hate organ recitals.”
#28
Biologists can also be great philosophers.
They give fantastic life lessons.
#29
It’s impossible for plants to escape from jail. There’s a wall around their cell!
#30
Which place of worship is made from amino acids?
The cysteine chapel.
#31
What can you use to get plaque off of your brain?
Neural Crest.
#32
Are you made of Copper and Tellurium?
Because you are Cu-Te.
#33
I walked into the biology lab and saw my lab partner dissecting an insect.
I told him, “I think your fly is open.”
#34
What do you call it when your Biology grade is close to an F?
Biodegraded.
#35
What did the femur say to the patella?
I kneed you.
#36
Why can’t a plant be on the dark side of the Force?
Because it can’t make food without the light!
#37
Microorganisms are so hipster. They were evolving on earth before it was cool!
#38
A dermatologist was studying new remedies for itching, but his lab burnt down…
Now he has to start from scratch.
#39
A British biologist walks into a pub in London and asks for a pint of adenosine triphosphate.
The barman replies, “That’ll be 80p.”
#40
Why was the biologist broke?
Because he was sporely paid.
#41
I don’t have a Carbon Footprint…
Because I drive everywhere.
#42
What did the cell say when he ran into the table?
Mitosis!
#43
Why didn’t anyone want the biologist’s new book?
It was a hard cell.
#44
Why do biologists look forward to casual Fridays?
They’re allowed to wear genes to work.
#45
How does a marine biologist end a conversation?
Sea you later!
#46
How did the English major define microtome on his biology exam?
As an itsy bitsy book.
#47
Why are men sexier than women?
You can’t spell sexy without xy.
#48
How do you reprimand a lazy scientist working in a cryogenetics lab?
“Your contribution in this project is absolute zero”.
#49
Why aren’t students allowed in the biology teachers’ lounge?
It’s for staph only.
#50
Why do biologists like to travel?
It makes them more cultured.
#51
Why did the bacteria cross the microscope?
To get to the other slide.
#52
How does Juliet maintain a constant body temperature?
Romeostasis.
#53
What’s the difference between a dog and a marine biologist?
One wags a tail and the other tags a whale.
#54
What’s was the pirate’s favorite amino acid?
Arrrrrrr-ginine.
#55
An interesting paradox: Noses run but feet smell.
#56
The ungulate says to the parasite. “You make me sick so I am going to expel you. You can’t stay with me anymore.”
To which the parasite replies: “But I encyst”.
#57
Why did the scuba diver fail biology?
He was below “C” level.
#58
If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
H2O cubed.
#59
What did Gregor Mendel say when he founded genetics?
“Woopea!”
#60
What did the avid recyclers name their triplets?
Polly, Ethel, and Ian.
#61
Is there a big difference between male and female anatomy?
Yes, a vas deferens.
#62
Which biochemicals wash up on beaches?
Nucleotides.
#63
Why didn’t the dendrochronologist ever get married?
Because he only dated trees.
#64
That’s DJ Enzyme. He always breaks it down!
#65
Do you have 11 protons?
‘Cause you’re Sodium fine!
#66
A doctor, a health insurance agent, and a lab tech walk into a bar. Who pays the tab?
The patient.
#67
What does DNA stand for?
National Dyslexics Association.
#68
Why don’t yogurt and medicine get along?
One is probiotic, and the other is antibiotic!
#69
What do hipster biologists wear?
Skinny genes.
#70
Why was the mushroom so popular?
He was a real fungi.
#71
What did the male stamen say to the female pistil?
“I like your ‘style.’”
#72
I made a DNA joke in my biology class but no one laughed…
Guess my thymine was off.
#73
A fellow accidentally ingested some alpha-L-glucose and discovered that he had no ill effect…
Apparently, he was ambidextrose.
#74
What would you call the scientific study of real estate?
Homology.
#75
Why was the scuba diver disappointed in his biology grade?
Because his score was below sea level.
#76
What do football players wear on their heads?
Helminth.
#77
We just hired a new molecular biologist.
Wow, isn’t she small?
#78
Do you know what gets on my nerves?
Myelin.
#79
If you’ve ever wondered how biologists contact each other, they use their cell-phones!
#80
What’s the opposite of Nutrition?
Old-trition.
#81
How did the biologist call for Sean “Puffy” Combs?
Heredity.
#82
What was the name of the leader of the group of holy biologists?
Saint Nucleus.
#83
What do biologists wear when they play hockey?
Helminths.
#84
Where are criminal neurons sent?
A chain ganglion.
#85
What do you call a broken spirometer?
Expired.
#86
What kind of notebooks do dendrochronologists use?
Tree-ring binders.
#87
Why should you worry if you get a B for your biology practical?
Because it’s much easier to dissect a frog!
#88
I want to stick to you like glue-cose.
#89
I am not sure who is carbon dating, but I will find it out soon and let you know.
#90
The selection procedure for the exam was very selectively permeable.
Not many people could get through that easily.
#91
The wives of the American Society of Otolaryngologists have a cute saying: “The way to a man’s stomach is through his esophagus.”
#92
Why are biologists, such hard workers? Because they become absorbed in their work.
#93
A paramecium and an amoeba are walking down the street. The amoeba asks “So, lacking any psuedopodia, how do you manage to get around?”
The paramecium replies “A cilia question I’ve never heard!”
#94
A black bear and a white bear jump into a pool at the same time, which one dissolves first?
The white one, because it’s polar!
#95
How did the botany student finish her flower identification homework so quickly?
She put the petal to the metal.
#96
What is bacteria?
The rear entrance to cafeterias.
#97
How were the two protein structures able to remain friends for so long?
They had a peptide bond.
#98
Why did the biologist get booed off the stage during American Idol?
He was caught Lipidsynching.
#99
How can you better understand genetics in cold weather?
Put your codon!
#100
Where would one find genes retired from the human genetic pool?
In an old folks genome.
#101
How many zygotes does it take to screw in a light bulb?
2 n’ 4 poles.
#102
Why wouldn’t the scientist go into the haunted house?
He was too petrified.
#103
What did Cinderella say while reading a biology textbook?
“I hate mitosis.”
#104
How did the herpetologist know he would be married soon?
He caught the garter snake.
#105
Did you just mutate for a stop codon?
Because you’re talking nonsense!
#106
How many biologists does it take to change a light bulb?
Four. One to change it, and three to write the environmental-impact statement.
#107
What did the conservative biologist say?
“The only cleavage I want to see is at the cellular level.”
#108
Where do hippos go to university?
Hippocampus.
#109
What do You Call a Member of the Financial Staff of the Faculty of Biology?
A buy-ologist.
#110
We be-lung together. Aorta tell you that I love you!
#111
When biologists need to repair something at their house, they study homology.
#112
How do you eat a DNA-salad?
With a replication fork.
#113
The biologist was very particular about his culture.
No matter what, he would always take care of it with all his affection.
#114
How do marine invertebrates pay for their beer?
With bar-nickels.
#115
Girl whenever I’m near you, I undergo anaerobic respiration because you take my breath away.
#116
Why did the algae join with the fungus?
They took a lichen to each other.
#117
This is no time for jokes, guys. Let’s B. cereus.
#118
What do mushrooms like to do at parties?
Get hyphae.
#119
What did the biology teacher tell the frog?
Looks aren’t everything, it’s what’s inside you that really matters.
#120
What did one bacteria say to the other bacteria?
Your gene pool could use a little chlorine.
#121
What is the definition of paramecium?
Two Latin mice.
#122
Mycologists are the most virtuous scientists. They’re all obsessed with morels!
#123
Where do protozoa go to practice long jumping?
The hopper.
#124
What did the snooty metacentric say to the telocentric?
Two arms are better than one.
#125
Why are tertiary structures selfish?
Because the amino acids are all wrapped up in themselves.
#126
What did the biologist order at the Dinosaur Barbeque Restaurant?
Back-back Ribosomes.
#127
What’s the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
You can’t hear an enzyme.
Follow Us
