The Imaginary Pitch Meeting for Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

There are A LOT of movies that have been subjected to these fake pitch meetings, but for good reason, since once a person runs through the movie in question, not just to enjoy it and not just to ignore the many plot holes and mistakes, they will typically find that some movies end up getting made in what feels like a very haphazard fashion. It’s hard to say this to movies that we actually enjoy, but one thing about any story is that it’s usually best when the continuity is kept from one movie to another. It’s kind of an exaggeration that there are only three things to expect from the first three Transformers movies. Those three things are that Shia LaBeouf was bound to start yelling or screaming at some point, Optimus Prime was going to make a speech at one point or another, and a lot of things were going to go BOOM. Hey, it’s Michael Bay, he likes a lot of explosions in his movies and it shows since there are times when things go boom and probably shouldn’t. But in Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, we’re not only given a movie that started to feel less and less like a Transformers movie but we were introduced to characters that made little to no sense given that a couple of them were said to be racial stereotypes, while one of them made a good point as to why Decepticons would even bother turning themselves into cars if they could transform into humans. It could be that this process was highly specialized and dangerous to go through, but at the very least it would give them far better camouflage than turning into vehicles that rode around with holographic pilots or drivers.

Then there’s the idea of the Allspark and how a sliver of it somehow lodged in Sam’s sweater and has the power to imprint symbols into his brain when the cube form did nothing. Maybe that one spark was misfiring or something, but the fact that it burned through an entire floor and somehow stopped on a table filled with appliances is the kind of setup that a lot of people would roll their eyes at, and probably did. From there it just became a little more ridiculous since it became apparent that death is only permanent for certain characters in this universe since first, Megatron was brought back using the power of the other shard of the Allspark (yep, there was more than one shard because the movie said so). So then as expected Megatron seeks out Sam and tries to have his brain extracted before Optimus and the other Autobots save him in the nick of time. From that point on a chase does ensue until Optimus takes on three Decepticons at once and puts on a good show as he continues to toss them about, at least until Megatron sticks him in the back, killing Prime, and thus releasing the Fallen, a villain that people hadn’t heard anything about up until this movie. The main thing to know about the Fallen is that he was a prime that decided to go against his brethren and decimate a sun that was vital to a living solar system, which was against their directives at the time.

The trip to Egypt following the discovery of where the item that’s needed to revive Optimus is relatively short and uneventful, but when the item that’s needed is found it turns to dust, at least until Sam dies and finds the other Primes on the other side, where they make it known that he sacrificed his life for Optimus and that he’s earned the item he was after in order to revive the leader of the Autobots. Once that happens, Prime is unstoppable and starts kicking butt without pause as he messes up Megatron and then slaughters the Fallen, ripping his entire metal face from his head, which is kind of grotesque in a way. After all that is said and done, Optimus makes another speech, and the movie is essentially over. The good guys win, for now, the bad guys are in retreat, and, well, all is good. That’s kind of how these movies end since the discussion of what happens now and how the government is going to explain away such things as the destruction of the pyramids and the presence of a massive, sun-destroying ray that would need to be dismantled or somehow taken offline. There’s also no accounting for the destruction that the Autobots and Decepticons have caused since a lot of it was done in full view of the public and wasn’t exactly well-planned when it went down. In other words, in favor of his big booms and action-packed content, Bay didn’t really dive into the continuity all that much.