If there’s one thing in this life that we should all understand, it’s ourselves. If you have a question about your health, a doctor should be able to clear that up for you. And if you’re struggling with your mental health, a psychologist might be able to help you make sense of everything going on in your mind. But for some reason, the female body continues to confuse many people, even some medical professionals.
Because their bodies are often shrouded in mystery, women have been opening up on Reddit about the information they wish they learned as teenagers. From assurances that certain things are perfectly normal to warnings of when to seek medical attention, this advice might be able to help many young girls. So enjoy scrolling through, whether you’re a woman or just want to understand the women in your life better, and be sure to upvote the info that you wish you had heard sooner!
#1
Pain is not normal.
SignalAssistant2965:
OMG that’s a big one! I so much wish women’s pain wouldn’t be so often dismissed as “normal” and just a “part of what it means to be a woman”.
Image source: downthegrapevine, Dragana_Gordic/Freepik (not the actual photo)
#2
It’s okay to have body hair. Having body hair, anywhere on the body, doesn’t make you any less of a woman.
No_Foundation7308:
It’s also okay to pluck or not if you choose to. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about it one way or the other.
Image source: C_ntPretty2B3, EyeEm/Freepik (not the actual photo)
#3
That many men think it exists solely for their use at their whim, and will start preying on you when you’re an eleven year old child.
Image source: BillieDoc-Holiday, gpointstudio/Freepik (not the actual photo)
#4
How long perimenopause lasts. I assumed your periods just stopped like a car running out of gas.
Commonfckingsense:
I genuinely still thought this until your comment, so thank you for educating me today.
Fantastic_Fig_8559:
Mine has changed me. I don’t feel like me anymore. All I thought was I might have some hot flashes and my periods would stop. It’s literally been eight years of hell so far. Every day a new ailment.
Image source: OldLadyMorgendorffer, Freepik (not the actual photo)
#5
That it’s not studied properly, so don’t trust doctors much. They have professional blindness here.
Grizzlyfrontignac:
The book “invisible women” by Caroline Criado-Perez HUGELY opened my eyes to this. I wish it was just doctors, but much pain and suffering by women has been ignored by professionals of all kinds simply because our issues aren’t exactly like those of men. And we’re just left there to accept it! It’s crazy.
Image source: Lemon_gecko, dragonimages/Freepik (not the actual photo)
#6
Pretty much everyone has stretch marks and cellulite.
coddswaddle:
Even very skinny people.
Image source: PsychologicalClue6, EyeEm/Freepik (not the actual photo)
#7
That it’s not normal if you’re in severe pain every time you have your period. That it isn’t “normal” to barely function when you have your period.
That if you’re dealing with such pain and heavy bleeding, there’s a decent likelihood you have endometriosis (or a similar condition like PCOS)
That one in ten have endometriosis. That one in three miscarry.
That none of these things make you weird or less valuable or less of a woman. That you’re not alone.
Image source: xxxdac, user25451090/Freepik (not the actual photo)
#8
All the damage pregnancy can do to your body. And that there are things you can do to prevent or minimize it.
Image source: Ok_Evening2804, Freepik (not the actual photo)
#9
That the women playing high schoolers in movies are in their 20s and that you shouldn’t compare yourselves to them when you’re a teen.
Image source: Livid-Vacation-1155, sonypictures
#10
That bodies come in all sizes and with lots of different anatomy options for all body parts. And that you can’t be blamed for how your body looks.
Image source: Apotak, Freepik (not the actual photo)
#11
That not having a completely flat tummy is 100% normal and that exercise (weight lifting specifically) is much more important for us than we think (beyond esthetics).
Image source: chironinja82, Freepik (not the actual photo)
#12
You will look like 7 different people in the span of one month because of your hormones and it’s okay if you don’t always love what you see. It is temporary.
Image source: DapperRusticTermite8, Freepik (not the actual photo)
#13
Aim for looking like/feeling like the best version of yourself, rather than trying to attain the looks of someone else.
Image source: BlueCheesePanda, drobotdean/Freepik (not the actual photo)
#14
Second puberty.
Superb_Anxiety_1464:
You go through a second puberty at like 25ish (give or take) and your body totally transforms again but not necessarily in a fun way.
Image source: buttahfly28, aimenda123/Freepik (not the actual photo)
#15
That your [chest] will change shape, size, consistancy/texture, and sag several times throughout your life.
Right before I turned 30, they just completely changed and I had no idea what was happening.
Image source: Impressive_Prune_478, Holiak/Freepik (not the actual photo)
#16
Understand the effects of birth control do research find what’s right for you and do general check ups.
Image source: Fantastic-Fox5966, jcomp/Freepik (not the actual photo)
#17
That sometimes “mental health symptoms” are actually hormonal disorders. I was almost convinced I was bipolar until my OBGYN diagnosed me with PMDD and I got on a birth control that regulated my progesterone. It was like an instant fix.
Image source: yellowbop, EyeEm/Freepik (not the actual photo)
#18
That our hormones are constantly changing. I was taught that we all go through puberty and then that’s it until we hit menopause. My acne was horrific as a teen and everyone promised me it would stop and here I am at 35 with acne still and new hormonal changes.
Image source: valkyrie61212, evtyshok/Freepik (not the actual photo)
#19
That having a little belly pooch is totally normal because of the reproductive organs being in the way.
I just thought I was always fat, even when I weighed 110lbs.
Image source: TinySparklyThings
#20
The slime your [lady bits] produce is normal. The bleaching of dark underwear is normal. I had to learn this from Mama Doctor Jones.
Image source: Femmigje, svitlankaplechin/Freepik (not the actual photo)
#21
It’s OK to struggle with weight loss and gain. All women’s bodies are different yet beautiful.
Image source: Dr__Pheonx, Freepik (not the actual photo)
#22
Not about bodies specifically, more so about periods. Teens; it is okay if your pad or tampon wrapper makes a noise in the bathroom! Don’t feel ashamed about your period, you don’t need to hide them or feel dirty.
Image source: NiiSauce, EyeEm/Freepik (not the actual photo)
#23
That being skinny isn’t always safe. I don’t mean being obese is what we should aim for, but starving myself and doing more to maintain a small size was more harmful than healthy.
That no matter how skinny you are, your body has very specific markers of change that generally come around approximately each decade due to hormonal changes, and that’s okay.
That stretch marks are okay and sometimes come because of growth spurts.
So much… so, SO much.
I was raised in the 80s and 90s, when women were judged very harshly. I wish we were kinder to girls and women back then.
Image source: bucktoothedhazelnut, Flowo/Freepik (not the actual photo)
#24
HORMONE 👏 CHANGES 👏 HAPPEN 👏 IN 👏 YOUR 👏 THIRTIES 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏.
Image source: fake_tan, The Yuri Arcurs Collection/Freepik (not the actual photo)
#25
That nothing is ‘supposed’ to look one certain way. Variety is normal and makes us unique.
Image source: elsandeth, lookstudio/Freepik (not the actual photo)
#26
Discharge doesn’t mean you’re dirty. In fact, it’s the opposite.
Everything I learned was from the internet.
Image source: Smooth_Storm_9698, EyeEm/Freepik (not the actual photo)
#27
Female pleasure. I had no idea until I was in college.
Image source: anon, Freepik (not the actual photo)
#28
That the strength, vitality and health I was enjoying then would fade and I should have appreciated it as the gift it was.
That my concerns over being too flat chested, having too pointy a nose, or being too “much” were someone else’s insecurities being projected onto me.
That every photo in every magazine depicting perfect hair, flawless skin, and long legs was retouched…a lie being told to convince me I was “less than” just to sell me something.
Image source: cheekmo_52, Freepik (not the actual photo)
#29
You need to eat. You are gonna have people equate your worth with your weight.
You need to give your body nutrients, and you need to eat protein and fruit. It doesn’t matter if it’s fashionable to be super thin, or be on ozempic, or take stackers and phenphen, or barf up lunch, or cut calories to nothing, or be a smol girl or mpdg.
Men– boyfriends, alpha males, fathers, husbands, pastors, influencers, fashion designers are trying to make you starve yourself so you are not nourishing your brain enough to detect their manipulation of you.
Companies are trying to instill in you a dissatisfaction with your body that makes you consume, consume, consume.
You are okay. Your human body deserves nourishment. You are dulling your sharpness, your vitality, your mind.
If your mind is screaming to Get Away, whatever your Get Away is, start working on your plan to Get Away. You got this.
Image source: blipblewp, EyeEm/Freepik (not the actual photo)
#30
Sometime in your 30’s you will have a *much* harder time losing weight.
Image source: ApollosBucket, wellstockagency/Freepik (not the actual photo)
#31
Weight fluctuation is NORMAL. I’m 30 and I’ve had an ebb and flow of 15-20 pounds throughout the year, even with a healthy lifestyle and active lifestyle. My mom still to this day comments on my weight loss (if that’s the phase I’m in) when I go home, and I’m working through it in therapy. I feel the need to be the most slim when I see my mom, so I restrict and become obsessive weeks before a planned trip home.
Image source: groovinandmovinnn
#32
Sounds obvious but… your body is going to go through a lot of changes. Try to love yourself through every part of it, care for yourself as best as you can, and allow grace. It’s ok if you’re not the size you were a decade ago.
Image source: Green-Krush
#33
I wish someone would have told me how drastically having a baby would change my whole body, shape, size, all of it. My feet even grew a whole half size. And I have not been back there since.
Image source: ContributionFull2320
#34
You’re only supposed to lose about 5-80 ml of blood during your period! Having to dump out your menstrual cup multiple times a day is WAY too much! (I turned out to have endometriosis and bleed triple the usual amount.).
Image source: PM_ME_YR_KITTYBEANS
#35
That women go through four phases.. not just periods then daffodils the rest of the month.
Also that the luteal and follicular phase will have you questioning your choices, sanity, true weight and give you slight body dysmorphia 🙃.
Image source: SadGirlXandie
#36
Rather the opposite: I wish they **hadn’t** called all those actresses and singers ‘fat’ (90s-00s).
Image source: Pondering_Giraffe
#37
The 4 phases of the menstrual cycle and how it affects your mood, appetite, and even appearance. Being in tune with the phases of my cycles has helped me live a better life.
Image source: Drizzybroccoli
#38
I went to a Catholic school and leaned about women’s anatomy there. It wasn’t until I was in my early 20’s that I realized that there are two separate openings in the vulva.
I’m a woman.
Image source: megaspark90
#39
To start strengthening your pelvic floors – not wait to be pregnant to be told that.
Image source: KiwiChilli
#40
That your downstairs looks perfectly normal. It’s organic and supposed to be what it is. Love yourself.
Image source: Fantalla
#41
If your doctor tells you it’s “just anxiety” or “normal pain” get a second opinion. i ended up with chronic back pain from not pushing back on this conclusion.
Image source: PresentationIll9402
#42
That you’ll still sometimes have period accidents and bleed through your pants even as an adult.
Image source: mz_blanc00
#43
It is normal to have:
Hip dips.
A “trail” of slightly darker hair on your lower abdomen
Issues with lifting/moving heavy things.
A softer frame than men. This “my thigh is bigger than my boyfriend’s” thing is absolutely normal and common.
Ugh, this caused me so much stress in my teens.
Image source: Outside-Pen5158
#44
Women bodies are not suppose to look like the super models.
Image source: MelancholyMare
#45
I wish someone had told me how beneficial cycle tracking was.
Image source: GodDammitKevinB
#46
It is not normal to not be able to insert a tampon.
Hey teenage me. If you’re reading this, you have vaginal nerve compression and pudendal neuralgia.
Image source: Romantic_Sunset
#47
That the only time it seems to take precedence is when lawmakers legislate it. Outside of that, it’s not prioritized – not in medicine/science, the bedroom or innovation.
Image source: IllustriousGemini
#48
Clots can be both normal and abnormal.
Image source: hasty69_
#49
That pregnancy is basically surviving a 9.5 month long chronic condition + remission recovery time.
Image source: carlsraye
#50
Stop eating so much sugary [stuff] and lift weights! Find ways to love your body, even your least favourite bits & make it a religion! Everyone told me my metabolism wouldn’t be the same, everyone told me after having kids the weight would be harder to shift. Sadly its all true. I never had self esteem issues though until I was a size 24 & the realisation that I want to lose weight, but will be left with loose skin and have no time/mental energy to start a weight lifting routine at this phase of life.
Image source: Crazy-Bid4760
#51
Labia comes in different sizes. I seriously thought something was wrong with me because mine were/are large.
Image source: Natural_String_967
#52
That body changes can/do continue into your 20s/30s. I was really disappointed with my body as a teen but I’ve filled out better now. I thought puberty was the only time that would happen.
Image source: xjulesx21
#53
What a desidual cast is.
Image source: CowboyMafia172
#54
That guys love the wobbly bits so stop stressing about it.
Image source: JuniorArea5142
#55
That it isn’t in fact “normal” to only get your period every 6 months 🙁 turns out had insulin resistant pcos which messed up my hormones.
Image source: Rubyrockrr111
#56
A period is nothing to feel embarrassment about! It’s not a dirty secret!
Image source: Interesting-Risk-676
#57
To leave them alone without consent.
Image source: TangledYak
#58
It’s normal and healthy to be “soft”, women need to have some body fat to be healthy, our bodies aren’t supposed to be shredded and “firm” like the magazines used to sell when I was a teen. I have been dieting since I was 9, developed eating disorders and hated my soft belly even when I was underweight, I always thought I should lose weight untill it was “firm”. Knowing it’s normal and healthy to have body fat helps me to accept my softness as a part of being a woman and even more feminine because of that (I am still mortified by the idea of putting on weight but things are getting better).
Image source: Creative_Step9008
#59
To never get too comfortable in our bodies because the minute you do, it changes.
Image source: belacanehh
#60
That everyone grows their parts a little different. I got really confused and it was a bit temporarily uncomfortable when my lower part developed. I tried asking a teacher when she said I could ask her anything about it, and she got confused, so I stopped talking. Recently did more research and i’m glad to know we are all different, and this is normal. For years I thought i was abnormal.
Also are there any ways to stop the excretion from bleaching underwear? Not like I can help it because I have a shorter cycle than probably most, so I ovulate more. (Or maybe I just have to stick to using toilet paper). Its pretty embarrassing since I’m quite acidic. (Occasionally theres a slight burning if I sit, so I lean back a bit).
Image source: Worried-Bear4099
#61
How to insert a tampon properly.
I gotta kinda lift up the bits and angle it right. When I got my first period, my bio mom just threw a tampon at me.
Image source: smolgods
#62
I have to pick ONE?? 😂 Lord, help me.
Top: Your hormonal changes do NOT make you irrational — maybe more sensitive (to ACTUAL problems) and in need of SERIOUS rest, decreased stimulation, and certain nutrients…but NOT irrational. I’ve made the most insightful, life-changing observations about my life when I truly LISTENED to myself during my luteal and menstrual phases. Follicular and ovulation phases are for planning and doing…luteal and menstrual phases are for rest and reflection.
For teens, especially: teen pregnancy is HIGHLY risky…it’s safest for you and your future baby to wait until your body has completely finished getting ready! (I say this, because I had wanted children from a very young age, so I know they’re out there!)
Unrecognized perimenopause seems to be a HUGE factor in a TON of women’s health issues — everything from anxiety/depression to heart palpitations or joint pain! It can start as early as your 30s, AND you can safely take hormones to treat it! Get treated!
The vast majority of women CAN breastfeed!! Educate yourself DEEPLY about this. It is SO worth it, and you CAN do it!
“Bouncing back” from birth is rarely a thing. Research after-birth recovery, rest for a couple of weeks, then slowly build your body back up with smart exercises.
Ok…Imma stop there, for now, but I know I have a ton more locked away. 😂.
Image source: Aiko_chan0330
#63
LISTEN TO YOUR BODY. You will want to trust your doc/OBGYN when they tell you they “don’t see anything”. Do so…to an extent. Women’s health and illness are NOT well-researched, so even our docs are ignorant af. If YOU think something is wrong, keep looking!
Image source: Aiko_chan0330
#64
Queefing is totally normal, if air goes in, air will come out. My first boyfriend told me to “never do that again”, that stuck with me for a looooong time and I was always so embarrassed when it’d happen.
Image source: Otherwise_Turn_9786
#65
That your body shape will change drastically in perimenopause, regardless of dietary habits.
Image source: vivahermione
#66
I wish someone just had the talk with me. I come from a traditional South Asian family and had NO IDEA WHAT A PERIOD WAS. It’s called bamari which translates into the sickness.
I was handed the biggest pad by my grandma and was told to wear them and stay away from boys. Puberty was the worst time of my life and I wish someone just had a conversation with me 😆.
Image source: Pisces_3one4
#67
How many changes your body will go through and how most of them are entirely unacceptable to society at large.
Image source: Three3Jane
#68
Somewhat related but if you go on the Hormonal Pill Progestrone your period could be horrendous and you give birth/pass something called a Dicidual Cast (Google it at your own risk) when it happened to me I was in the worst pain and on the toilet passed something I thought I was dying and had cancer. What else was I to think!!! Then you go to the Drs and they say oh yeah thats a very rare side affect. Why is it not on the flipping leaflet!!!!!!!
Thanks school and thank you Drs.
Image source: Ok-Salamander-1136
#69
Your hips will get wider as you age, even just into early adulthood. would’ve saved a lot of time worrying about why i only had a partial thigh gap.
Image source: simpg1rl
#70
Fupas are just inevitable for most people.
Image source: shelle33333
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