Before I go on with this list understand that like many people I am a fan of Arnold Schwarzenegger movies, but there is some cheesy dialogue in some of them, especially those made in the 80’s. It almost seems like cheesy dialogue was the rule back then, not the exception. Anything that approached great cinema seemed to get more criticism than praise at times. Maybe that’s a big part of why Arnold’s movies were such big hits most of the time and so memorable, you couldn’t help laughing at some of the lines simply because they were that bad. But obviously the action and thrills more than made up for it since he’s been a star for so long that people can barely remember what it was like not having him on their screen at one time or another.
Seriously, for those of us that grew up in the 80’s and 90’s he was one of the most common faces in the world when it came to action. You didn’t think about action movies at all without Arnold at least being in your peripheral vision so to speak. But yes, the dialogue got bad at times, so bad that you had to cringe in order to just get through it. The one-liners, the horrible puns, all of it conspired to make his films something great, but they were more or less just intermissions between the action.
Honestly it seems like we can all agree that we were okay with that as long as the action started up again fairly soon. Here are some of the cheesiest moments in Arnold’s movies though, you should be able to remember a few at least.
5. True Lies
It was easy to get the feeling that Arnold’s career had hit kind of a slow point when this movie came out. He was still a great action star but this movie was kind of blah and a lot of people would agree. Apart from the action sequences a lot of it felt contrived and the inclusion of Tom Arnold, while funny, seemed a little forced in some areas. It definitely had all the elements of an action movie and a spy movie put together, but one thing Arnold doesn’t seem to do well is espionage, as he’s gained more of a reputation for being the biggest, baddest guy on the planet when it comes to action movies. Subterfuge hasn’t always been one of his biggest strengths.
4. Total Recall
When it came out Total Recall was awesome, but when you look back at it now and realize how many horrible puns and one-liners were in the film it’s hard for a lot of people to not admit that it kind of fooled us into thinking the non-action sequences were that great. The dialogue and how it was delivered for the most part was still kind of rudimentary in some spots, as though the writers couldn’t think of anything more clever to say. But while some of the interactions between the characters were actually great some fell a little flat and didn’t pan out quite as well. This line is a classic just because it is so cheesy.
3. Twins
Arnold’s entire dialogue throughout this movie is seriously cheesy. Some of it’s great like this moment but it still leaves a person looking at the screen like “Okay, just hit them already” because you know it’s coming. Arnold as an intellectual has been hard for many people to accept for a long time. He’s not a stupid man by any means but his characters have always been a little more forceful and less talkative in his movies. As Julian he was definitely stretching out as a new character but in some respects it was just pure cheese when he opened his mouth.
2. Running Man
There were just too many puns and one-liners in this movie to choose from so it seemed prudent to add in a compilation clip. Arnold definitely had fun with this one it would seem since he got to drop so many different bad puns that you’d think you were watching a video game laced with bad writing. But the movie was entertaining enough, especially considering that it was loosely based on a Stephen King story. And when I say ‘loosely’ I absolutely mean it. Read the Running Man book and you might not be able to figure out just how the two of them have anything to do with each other.
1. Commando
Out of all his macho roles this movie had to take the cake when it came to offering Arnold the chance to be big and bad and somehow ultimately cheesy the entire way through. Every chance he got Arnold belted out another pun, quip, or line of straight cheese that people ate up without complaint. Of course given that Commando showed the epitome of what people thought a hero should be able to do, it’s not too surprising that so many folks liked it.
He’s a legend and his movies are great, but the cheesy lines, oy.
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