Horror movies are only as complicated as a person can make them and somehow, someway, there have been great horror movie designs that have been mucked up beyond all belief by just a few errant moves that have derailed a movie. Thankfully a lot of us can still remember the originals and as a result, can recall how good the initial idea for one horror movie or another was. But there have been some truly terrible horror remakes over the years that make a person question the idea of giving some people control over certain movies. It’s even more frustrating when a great director takes a movie, remakes it, and somehow butchers it so badly that it becomes a dilemma between keeping faith in the director and wondering how in the world they could have bungled something so badly. Horror movies are known to be campy or somehow overly dramatic since there’s a wide margin of error when making a horror-driven project. But there are so many formulas to follow and so many bases to cover that a writer, a director, SOMEONE should be able to look at what’s being churned and say ‘okay, there’s a problem with this’ before it ever gets to the theater. Some folks don’t care since fans are sometimes willing to accept schlock for one reason or another, and others happen to think that they’ve reinvented the wheel with their idea only to watch it flatten out as the audience either laughs at it in the most derisive manner or absolutely trashes it because they thought everything from the premise to the final scene was hard to swallow.
Here are a few of the worst horror movie remakes.
5. Friday the 13th
There are some fans out there that actually believe that everything after the first movie in this franchise has been nothing but garbage. But when it came back several years ago with a new cast and the same old schtick there were people that defended it and there were folks that thought it wasn’t that bad even though it wasn’t that good either. The franchise has become a huge mess these days that people are still willing to justify for one reason or another, but when it comes down to it, Jason is usually better off left alone near the lake where he’s limited to hunting anyone dumb enough to walk into his territory.
4. Psycho
Sorry, but Vince Vaughn was not the guy to remake this movie with since somehow he’s creepier as Norman Bates but he’s not nearly as believable. The original Norman, played by Anthony Perkins, was easy to like, which was one reason why he was so much better at the role. Somehow Vaughn just comes off as a pervert without really developing any of those warm feelings that tell the audience that he might be a decent guy. There were so many other actors that could have taken this role that it’s hard to guess how Vaughn managed to get it. Anne Heche was a pretty good fit though, for as long as she lasted.
3. The Wicker Man
Even the original movie didn’t get away without suffering through some criticism, but Nicolas Cage didn’t really do much for this movie since his screaming and his constant overacting kind of killed any interest in this story. It could have been an enticing tale, but somehow the idea managed to get away from the actors and the wooden performances by so many of them were hard to get into, especially when it came to the realization that Cage’s character was stuck and there was something really worn with the community. Plus, one has to imagine that these movies operate on the idea that horror movies don’t exist in their reality since otherwise a lot of people would end up doing things very differently.
2. Poltergeist
Does anyone even remember this remake? It was kind of there and gone so quickly that trying to recall just what happened, apart from the obvious, is a bit hazy. The original was great since it had so many fun moments and it explored the family dynamic in a way that made the movie click. The family members were important to each other, well, except the older sister since she kind of disappeared after a while. But the fact is that the original was great since it had more of a family feel to it, while the remake was a little too clinical and relied heavily on CGI where the original was all about practical effects, mostly.
1. Child’s Play
So they took a possessed doll and replaced it with a killer doll that was programmed by a tech that killed himself right after activating the code that would allow the doll to become violent. Yeah, this was one moment when technology really didn’t prove itself to be superior no matter that the doll could control a number of different electronic devices. Chucky was terrifying because he was a human spirit trapped in a doll. Taking out the human element didn’t work that well for a lot of people.
If a horror movie doesn’t scare the hell out of you then it’s not doing its job.
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