Being of somewhat abbreviated stature myself, I know firsthand the constant giggles and short people jokes that come with it.
Sure, I can’t reach the top shelf (ha-ha), and yes, I probably could fit in a shoebox, but those are exactly the kind of jokes about being short we’ve learned to embrace.
Because honestly, being short is a blessing in disguise. We can stretch our legs on flights, wear cheaper kid-sized clothes, and fit into places the tall folks only dream of. And if you ever doubted the humor potential, our collection of the funniest short person jokes proves otherwise.
Of course, we’ve also rounded up a few clever roasts from the tall camp; tall people problems are real, too!
And if you’re just here for a laugh, check out our adult jokes, dirty jokes, or explore the wild world of Ask Reddit’s funniest moments.
So scroll down and enjoy the best jokes about short people we could find, because height might be small, but humor sure isn’t.
#1 Short People Problems
You’ve really gotta hand it to short people because they usually can’t reach it anyway.
#2
“God only lets things grow until they are perfect. Some of us didn’t take as long as others!” – Short People
#3
I crashed into the back of a car at the lights today. A really short guy got out of it and said, “I’m not happy.” I said, “Well which one are you then?”
#4
I was shocked to read in the papers today that a short person had been pickpocketed. I just thought to myself “How could someone stoop so low?”
#5
How do short people greet others?
They microwave.
#6 Small Gestures Matter
Appreciate the little things.
Give a short person a hug.
#7
“Keep looking up.” – Motivational advice for most people. Necessary advice for short people.
#8
Tall vs. Short
Tall People: “I’m somewhere around 6 feet.”
Short People: “I’m 5 feet and 5.756432841 inches.”
#9
Just played miniature golf with a short person, but he just called it golf.
#10
The water in the shower evaporates before it reaches you.
#11 Still Growing Mentally
“Are you okay?”
“No.”
“My height hasn’t changed since I was 12.”
#12
Your so short when it rains; you are the last one to know.
#13
I hope the next stage of your life comes with a ladder.
#14
Sometimes when I look at short people I wonder. If they’re able to reach their goals.
#15 Heightened Humor Ahead
It’s easy to make fun of short people… The jokes always go over their head.
#16
Be careful; the little guy might jump up and punch you in the knee.
#17
At least one advantage of being small is getting to be in front in all pictures every time.
#18
I asked a short person to lend me 5 dollars yesterday.
He said, “Sorry, I’m a little short.”
#19
Where is the worst place for a short person to stand at a concert?
Behind anyone at all.
#20
Why was the short lady scared of the iguana?
She thought it was Godzilla.
#21 Compact and Efficient
It’s not that I am short, I simply have a built for speed and accuracy.
#22
I love short people. They’re more down to earth.
#23
Being the same height, shoe, and clothing size for the rest of your life since you were in 6th grade.
#24
You’re so short that Michaelangelo could make a life size sculpture of you with 1 can of play-dough.
#25
You know you are short when your shoelaces hit you in the head.
#26
I’m not saying short people are inferior but I do look down on them.
#27
Let us go. I will give you a ride. Hop into my pocket.
#28 Dessert with a Twist
What is a short person’s favorite dessert?
Strawberry Short Cake.
#29
Short people are always sad because they can never reach happiness.
#30
You look like you still have a lot of growing up to do.
#31
You shouldn’t make fun of short people because it’s a little person too. I mean a little too personal.
#32
What did the nurse say to the short person in the hospital waiting room?
You are just going to have to be a little patient.
#33 Bet You Didn’t See That One Coming
You’ve got to hand it to short people…
Well they can’t reach for themselves, can they?
#34
Does anyone know the PC term for short people? Or do yall also struggle with gnomenclature?
#35
My dad was short person but I still could never beat him in a running race.
No matter how fast I ran, he was always a little father ahead.
#36
You are so small you could sweep under your bed while standing.
#37
Short people are oppressed.
They’re always getting overlooked.
#38
Say what you like about short people, at least they don’t look down on people.
#39
What are short people??? Short people are the future. They consume less food, use less car fuel & more of them fit on the Earth.
#40
You are so small you could use a pillow as your bed and still have some wiggle room.
#41 Who Comes Up With These, Seriously?
Why do short people love shoe stores? The mirrors are the perfect height.
#42
What is a short person’s favorite side order?
A small fry.
#43
Why did the short guy buy the house with the water fountain?
Because he’s always wanted to own a swimming pool.
#44
Attack on Titan is actually slice of life for short people.
#45
I wonder how the weather is down there.
#46
Did you hear the story about the short person who was climbing down the prison wall?
It is a little con descending.
#47 We’re Not Done Yet!
I was walking to dinner with my then boyfriend and I asked him if he liked the heels I was wearing. He said, “Yes now you’re almost the size of a normal person.”
#48
You are so small, you can swing your legs when you sit on a stool.
#49
Why do short people have a hard time raising a family? Because they struggle to put food on the table.
#50
My friend who’s really short had a party the other night and he only invited other really short people.
It was just a little get together.
#51
My girlfriend is very short and she gets fed up with me making fun of her height. So tonight I’m going to make it up to her. I’ve got a good bottle of wine and a DVD box set of her favorite TV show. When she gets in from work I’m going to order her favorite takeaway which we’ll sit and eat while we drink the wine and watch the DVDs. Then afterward I’m going to go upstairs and run her a nice hot sink.
#52
Why do the short people like the flying coach?
The extra legroom.
#53
One day short people will rule the world. All 5ft of it of course.
#54
Why are short people so good at picking up girls?
They are amazing at small talk.
#55
Short people problem: because you are too short, the Sun visor doesn’t even work while you’re driving.
#56
Fact: Short people always appear younger.
#57
You are so small you would need a lift to kiss your bride.
#58
Tall people and short people should never date. Long-distance relationships never work out.
#59
Have you ever noticed that short people have more role models than anyone else? It is because they are looking up to everyone.
#60
You know you are small if you think the people on the wedding cake are the actual bride and groom.
#61
Why was the short person stuck in the elevator? Because they could not reach the door open button.
#62
Why could the short guy not finish the fun-sized candy bar? It was too big!
#63
You know you are small when your kids can keep things out of your reach.
#64
I tried to go into a short people nightclub last night. The bouncer stopped me on the door and said I couldn’t go in. I asked, “Why not?” He said, “Because you’re not on the shortlist.”
#65
What do short people call an iPad?
A desktop computer.
#66 Classic Or Cringe? You Decide
You know you’re short when you use an espresso cup as a regular coffee mug.
#67
What do you call a short person with a bad spray tan?
An Oompa Loompa.
#68
Do you know what always catches my eye? Short people with umbrellas.
#69
You’re so short you could be drowned by heavy rains.
#70
Never fight short people. They hit below the belt.
#71
I didn’t see you behind that grain of rice.
#72
You know you are small when you can do pull-ups on a door handle.
#73
When they sneeze, their heads hit the ground.
#74 That’s One Way To Look At It
I met this really short baker called Peter the other day. He was telling me all about baking flatbreads. It was fascinating. I love the Pita patter of tiny Pete.
#75
The key to writing short people jokes is keeping them short.
#76
You know you’re short when people ask you which Minion character you played in the movie.
#77
You shouldn’t make fun of short people.
They belittle themselves.
#78
Why did the short person get fired from his job at the restaurant?
The authorities found out he was being paid under the table.
#79
I know a joke about a short person, it is short and funny.
#80
How does a short person look you in the eye?
They get on a ladder.
#81
How does a short person take a bath?
They get into the sink!
#82
Kissing: either you have to tiptoe, or the other person has to kneel.
#83
Short people tend to get angry quickly because they are so close to the ground their anger does not dissipate quickly.
#84
You are so short I bet you do not have to bend to tie your shoelaces.
#85
How does it feel playing with taller teammates or opponents in sports? It comes with significant challenges and advantages as well.
#86 Tiny Joke, Huge Energy
Why did the short guy fall asleep in his harness and helmet? Because he was tired from climbing into bed.
#87
They are so small, when they sit on the curb, their feet swing back and forth.
#88
Have you heard about those self-driving cars? It turns out it was just a bunch of short people driving around.
#89
I raised the alarm at work today.
The short people were furious.
#90
Did you hear about the short person who escaped from jail?
He’s a small medium who’s at large.
#91
I bumped into an old short-height friend of mine yesterday.
Small world.
#92
Two short people walk into a mini-bar.
#93
I’ve just seen a short person buying a packet of water balloons.
Someone’s getting lucky tonight.
#94
What kind of horse does a short person ride?
A miniature horse.
#95
“What do you want to be when you grow up?” – tall person to short person.
#96
How does a short person reach the top shelf?
They don’t.
#97
Why did the short person bring a parachute to the bar?
So they could get down from the barstool.
#98 More Where That Came From
What’s a short person’s favorite thing on the menu?
Short ribs.
#99
How do you win an argument with a short person?
You stoop to their level.
#100
Why did the short guy wear stilts?
So he could be as tall as everyone else.
#101
My friend who’s really short had a party the other night and he only invited other really short people.
#102
How do short people go dress shopping?
They buy t-shirts.
#103
You are so short, I bet your parents left you at home most times when they went to the pool, because they’re scared you’ll drown in the kiddie pool.
#104
Short people like you can use Legos for steps and not break a sweat.
#105
I read a headline that said “short people are less intelligent than taller people” That can’t be true. Einstein was 5’7″ and Stephen Hawkin was 3’5″.
#106 Is It Still Funny? Yes, Yes It Is
What do short people call something that’s too high up? Absolute zero, because it’s impossible to reach.
#107
Short people shouldn’t hate short jokes. We’re just complaining that we need more of them.
#108
What’s so offensive about short people jokes? I consider them the height of comedy.
#109
You’re so short, you must need a ladder to reach your dreams.
#110
“Do you know what a little get-together is?” – A short people party
#111
Height bullying is no joke. Seriously guys, we need to stop looking down on short people.
#112
Where do short people like to go surfing?
On microwaves.
#113
Did you hear about the hot headed short person?
He had a short temper.
#114
What is the definition of frustration?
A short person with a yoyo.
#115 Stretch Your Legs For The Next One
Why is a short person called a paragraph?
Because he is too short to be an ese.
#116
Why was the short person arrested?
Small arms offenses.
#117
Short girl: “How do you see up there?”
Tall guy: “Who said that?”
I spit my drink out and then ran away.
#118
I would joke but it might not reach to your ears.
#119
You’re so short that you should be making toys for Santa.
#120
You are so short that that have to slam dunk your bus money to get it in.
#121
You’re so short that you make Webster look like a giant.
#122
What does a short pirate do with a toothpick?
They use it as a peg leg.
#123
Coming down the stairs must feel like skydiving for you.
#124
How do short people shoot a bow and arrow? With a rubber band and a toothpick.
#125
I was shocked to read in the papers today that a short person had been pickpocketed. I just thought to myself, how could someone stoop so low?
#126 Can You Relate Or Are You Too Tall?
Your so short, you can play handball on the curb.
#127
Look straight into my eyes. Hold in, let me get a step ladder.
#128
What do you call a poor short person?
Short changed.
#129
I saw a really short guy walking to catch a bus today. When he saw it coming down the road he broke into a jog. It was getting closer and he still wasn’t at the bus stop so started sprinting but it drove off before he got there. It was too little too late.
#130
I saw a short-height nun today.
All I could think was, “Oh ye of little faith.”
#131
“Jump in and I’ll take you home,” I said to my really short neighbor who was sat at the bus stop. “Get lost!” he said. I said, “Ok, suit yourself,” as I straightened up my rucksack and carried on with my walk.
#132
What position does a short person play on a basketball team?
The ball.
#133 Keep Scrolling, It Only Gets Better
How do short people go shopping for pants?
They buy shorts.
#134
What 3 things does a short person need to take a bath?
Floaties, a snorkel, and a lifeguard.
#135
Why did the short guy lose the race?
He was a little slow.
#136
Diet soda is a regular soda for a short person.
#137
My local funeral service is offering a 2-for-1 deal on coffins. But only to short people.
#138
Must be tough needing a step stool to kiss your wife good bye each day.
#139
I can see you’ve chosen not to grow over the past few years.
#140
Behind every short woman is a house decoration that was being hidden.
#141
Short people are materialistic. Tall people are bigger than that. They can see past it.
#142
Stop making jokes on short people. It’s not funny if the person getting trolled can’t enjoy it. After all, most of the jokes go way over their heads.
#143
Why are short constantly thirsty?
They can’t reach the drinking fountains.
#144
I met a short person once, my conversation with her was extremely awkward.
I am not very good when it comes to small talk.
#145
Always, and I mean always listen to a short people opinion.
They always know what is up.
#146
I have a lot of respect for the short people in my community.
I feel it would be really wrong to look down on them.
#147
What talking robot movie do all short people love?
Short circuit.
#148
I got told off today for making a joke about a short person.
It was over something small though.
#149
Two tall guys walk into a bar. Why didn’t the short guy walk into the bar too? He walked under it.
#150
People tend to hug your head more than your body.
#151
Thinking you were average height until you started high school, and everyone other than you kept growing.
#152
Why do short people always have food in their teeth? Because they cannot pick up a toothpick.
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