A best friend can be many things. Maybe it’s your next door neighbor from childhood who you share an eternal bond with from biking around the neighborhood together for years. Perhaps it’s your roommate from your freshman year of university who was there to make every all-night cram session much more fun. Or maybe it’s a person that you met through a shared interest like your favorite sport or hobby. Whoever your best friend is, they hold a special place in your heart, and they are likely the only person that you feel comfortable opening up to about certain topics.
But the people we love the most have the most power to hurt us, and unfortunately, some people have to face the hard truth that their best friend might not actually have their best interest at heart. One Reddit user, CrypticCrunch, posed the question, “When was the moment you realized that your best friend wasn’t your best friend?” and sadly many people could relate to this experience. Below, you’ll find some of the most heartbreaking epiphanies people had about their former best friends, as well as an interview with therapist and creator of Alyssa Marie Wellness Inc, Alyssa Mancao. We hope that these stories do not feel familiar to you, but maybe they will inspire you to send your best friend a message reminding them how much you appreciate them. And if you’re interested in reading even more similar stories after finishing this piece, you can check out Bored Panda’s last article on the same topic right here.
#1
After she told me my sexual assault was my fault, I ended that 5 year friendship right then and there.
Image source: lovelyfatality, RODNAE Productions
#2
When she asked me out and I realised I was utterly, completely and hopelessly in love with her. 18 years and 3 kids later and I love her even more :)
Image source: cmdrqfortescue
#3
She started dating my rapist.
Image source: milkvine, RODNAE Productions
#4
When she told me my husband and I would make hideous babies because red headed babies are the ugliest thing she has ever seen. She also locked me out of our hotel 4 hours from home with no way home at 3 am that same day after an arguement over her saying my husband kills people for a living (he’s a chemist who works on developing chemotherapy).
That was the last time I’ve spoken to her, 4 years ago. Such a jealous woman.
Image source: sunflwr1662, Дарья Шелкович
#5
This one’s pretty wholesome, I’d have to say it’s when he married his wife.
I moved away for college and he stayed in state, he was still dating the woman who would later become his wife. We stayed in contact and everything, but distance is very hard for both of us, so staying in contact meant like a phone call every 4 months or so.
I still think of him as my brother, and I was the best man at his wedding, and during the course of the wedding and reception, and *especially* the video by drone they took of the proposal I realized he had made a new best friend, and now he was marrying her.
They’ve been together for a little over a year now :)
Image source: Shaharlazaad
#6
When he ghosted me after I told him I had a tumor that ended up being cancerous.
Image source: real_zexy_specialist, Annie Spratt
#7
When she told me she doesn’t like other girls except me cos she likes to be the prettiest girl in the room.
Image source: Girl-From-Mars, ArtHouse Studio
#8
When they would talk and talk and talk about themselves but never ask about me
Image source: CheekyLibrarian, Athena
#9
“Best friend” of 7 years “fell in love” with my fiance. When I told him I didnt want to be friends anymore and kicked him out of my life, my fiance left me for him. I’ll be honest, i wanted to kill him and almost did.
Image source: trips_caused, Keira Burton
#10
I found out she was uploading my art to a “bad art blog”. I only found out because she sent me 2 paragraphs telling me I was a horrible friend anonymously on tumblr, then when I went to her crying over it wondering who it was she said it was her and then blocked me. I thought I could still fix things but then I found the bad art blog with my art on it, and found out she was talking s**t about me to her other friends.
I was only 15 and even though its been years since it I’m still f****d up by it in some ways.
If you don’t like someone, don’t pretend to like them and make fun of them behind their backs. Just let them know you feel like you can’t be friends anymore and distance yourself. Yeah that will hurt in the short term but it won’t monumentally f**k over someones entire psych as being fake will.
Image source: anon, Adrian Swancar
#11
When she called me a ‘s**t’ ‘whore’ etc when her adult brother molested me. We were 12.
Image source: recycling_monster
#12
When we both tried to get in a frat, i didn’t make it and he did which was cool bc we’d still hang out. That is until for the next month him and a few of his new frat pledgees would throw food at me and on at least 4 occasions id be blindsided on campus with them tipping me over, im in a wheelchair. They wore masks so i had no proof to anyone but he was pretty big and i recognized his shoes.
he’d then try to still hang around me and act like he never did anything. I didn’t really figure it out til about the 3rd time when they tipped me over and thats when i saw his shoes, confirming it.
About a year later he randomly texted me saying how sorry he was for what he did and hoped we could be friends again but by that time i could care less. Turns out he had gotten kicked out of the frat for drug use and now he couch surfs.
Image source: Hanndicap
#13
When she tried to tell me that she understood how I felt about my mum’s death the week before, because her parents were getting divorced and she would only be able to see her dad every other weekend…. and then she made it all about how she wasn’t sure if she could cope with the depression about to wash over her when he started moving out etc. *I* had to comfort *her*. Not trying to minimise the impact of the divorce on her, I’m sure it hurt a lot, but JFC you can still see your dad, you can talk to him on the phone when you miss him… my mother is *dead*! The two are *not* the same thing.
Image source: Oryctolagus_Argentum, Rosie Sun
#14
While they were driving everyone decided they wanted to party. No one had money so they suggested they should call Varvatos he always has money. I was sitting in the back seat. I was like uh I’m right here and I’m not in the mood to party tonight.
Image source: anon, quokkabottles
#15
My family (me, wife and 3 kids at the time) was in a rough spot, living with a friend a few years ago. I told that friend that if anyone had a problem with my wife, that they had a problem with me.
Word got around. My ‘best’ friend messaged me on FB asking if what I said was true, instant reply of yes.
Havent heard from him since.
A lot of people had difficulty realizing my wife was disabled. Chronic pain condition called Fibromyalgia, and many friends and family alike thought she was just lazy, didnt want to work and was using me. Most of my family have come around and know this ain’t a f*****g joke.
F**k all the rest of them. We’ve been married 14 years soon, have a great relationship, 4 kids, and despite all the horrific pain and suffering she goes through, we’re doing ok for ourselves now.
I don’t have much time for friendships these days, so I socialize online for the most part.
Edit: lots of replies being downvoted for no reason…
Image source: xdisk
#16
Best friends for a couple of years. We were in different classes, I wrote her a message that I be on my way to her. When I arrived she forgot to alt tab the chat window with someone else making fun of me at the worst possible way.
At that time she was my only friend. Was tough to have no friends after that for loooong time – this might not sound like a lot but I think that scared me and I’m still struggling making friends
Edit: holy s**t! That wave of responses is just crazy. Thanks for everyone who’s reaching out to me. Also, thanks for the silver kind stranger!
Image source: 1KeyUp, Zhivko Minkov
#17
when we went out to eat and i offered her to pay (as usual..) because she told me that she forgot her purse – she ordered loads of food and ate only half of it. After leaving her shoelace was loose and she bent over to tie her shoe and a 100$ bill was sticking out of her back pocket. She did this for four years and i never realised. Gave her another chance without sayin a word – three days later i found out she was constantly using my instagram to text my ex boyfriend to end my current realationship. I think she never got slapped so hard.
Image source: mil035, Nguyen Dang Hoang Nhu
#18
My friend completely ghosted me after I had my daughter. She never called or texted me. She got angry if I invited her over. Later she told me she was upset with me because I wasn’t paying enough attention to her.
Good riddance.
Image source: Compulsive-Gremlin, Bethany Beck
#19
When my “best friend” had marriage troubles, I was there for him. All through his wife’s infidelity, the divorce, and the custody battle. I testified on his behalf in court and he got custody of the kids.
Fast forward 2 years later, when I find out my wife is cheating on me. He’s not really interested in talking to me about it so much, and even acts like he’s not home when I stop by for a visit. And no, he wasn’t the one my wife was cheating with.
He’s a good dad and a fun guy to hang around with, but he’s just not emotionally available to help other people out much.
Image source: principalman, Kylo
#20
When I found out she was sleeping with my boyfriend. F*****g b***h.
Image source: onemorenightofjazz, RODNAE Productions
#21
When I visited my friend of 25 years (bestman, etc.) He got violently drunk and attempted to strangle me in front his screaming family while I begged for life and that my daughters would not be orphans. Because I didnt want to be grabbed. This happened 14 hours ago. Fun times
Image source: thotuthot
#22
Not my best, but one I was growing closer to.
She left me a voicemail but didn’t hang up properly. It was like:
“Hey, WaffleHouseNeedsWifi. I’m with Melissa and we’re seein’ what you’re up to. Call us when you get off work. Bye!” Rustling sounds. “She’s probably not even at work. She does this lame-ass s**t where she disappears for days on end. I don’t even know why I called her. She’s so f**kin’ annoying and it’d be better to spend the day with just you.”
Okay. Then do.
I listened to it three times just to make bloody certain I heard her 100% right. (It was crystal clear.) When she asked me days later what was up with me, I told her about the voicemail. She proceeded to deny it outright (“I never said anything like that!”), then jump down my throat claiming she was talking about someone else. (What? That didn’t even make sense.) Whatever. And people wonder why I disappear.
Image source: WaffleHouseNeedsWiFi, Hitesh Choudhary
#23
When I invited her to hang out with me at the nearby lake for my birthday, she said she would get back to me. She never did, instead she posted on her Snapchat story about how much fun she was having with her other friends. I stopped talking to her after that.
Image source: sleepy_gemini, Kimson Doan
#24
When I realized she only wanted to receive support and kindness but never give it. She had a rough home life growing up and I always supported her through everything, I would drop what I was doing when she’d call me in tears to help her.
Then I had my own rough patch that left me in a depressive rut. She was always too busy with her hobbies (not even actual work/school) to even talk to me when I went seeking support. Would get angry when I sent simple “Are you free this weekend?” texts because it was too “needy”.
This is also when I learned who my real best friend was because she saw what was happening, told off this so called “friend”, and gave me all the support I needed.
Edit: Omg this got way more attention than I thought it would. I’m so sorry to see this is such a common ordeal that people have gone through/are going through. I wish everyone the best. We all deserve the support to get us through tough times.
Image source: SortaDead, Andrea Tummons
#25
When she got s-faced drunk at my son’s (her Godson’s) wedding, trashed a hotel room, called me horrible names and punched me closed-fist in the face. She ended up passed out on the grounds of the hotel, came to and was arrested for trespassing because she refused to leave the premises. Days later (via email) blaming me because she didn’t realize she was harboring so much “animosity” towards me.
Buh-bye.
Image source: SassyMillie, Maurício Mascaro
#26
When she told me she didn’t want to hang out because my toddler took up too much of my time and I was boring. Then she got knocked up and came to me crying about how hard everything is gonna be now that she’s single and pregnant.
Image source: QueenBWB
#27
Summary of a one hour phone call.
Me, sobbing : “I have seen my doctor. She diagnosed a burn-out. I need to rest and relax for at least the next few months. I’m sorry, I can’t work on our project anymore. It’s too much for me”.
Her answer : “How dare you? I thought you weren’t that weak. We’re all tired. You should man up. You’re selfish for abandonning us like that. If you quit now, don’t even bother contacting me again”.
I don’t know about you guys, but if my best friend call me sobbing about her health, my first reaction wouldn’t be that one.
Image source: Marawal
#28
He was best man at my wedding. We had not much contact for a couple of years, but I still considered him my best friend. I heard about his wedding well after the fact, guess we’re not best friends anymore
Image source: raskal98, Susie Ho
#29
Best friend of 15 years. It all unraveled the night he told my cousin to kill herself, tried to start a fight with multiple people at my house, and flipped off my mom.
Edit: Yes, he was drunk at the time. No, I’m not reaching out to him. Disrespect to my family is an irredeemable offense in my eyes. He’s out of my life completely now.
Image source: DeltaSolana, Tobias Tullius
#30
When after my mom passed I made the conscious choice to only be “happy” around her because she let me know on several occasions she didn’t like dealing with other people’s feelings and I didn’t want to burden her — and then a few months later she told me she couldn’t be my friend any longer with no explanation while we were living together and she knew I wasn’t able to move out for a few months longer. She instantly stopped speaking to me unless it was a rude comment and wouldn’t eat anything I cooked (cooking was therapeutic for me and I loved doing it for her and her family).
Still have no explanation on the why she no longer wanted to be friends after 10 years. But… I am marrying her brother in the fall and he’s the most amazing thing to have ever happened to me. So there’s that!
Image source: mbowsy
#31
When I opened up to her about my postpartum depression and she told me that she didn’t have time for depression and it was weak.
I was never vulnerable with her but I was dying inside I needed someone and she had told me she didn’t care.
I began shutting her out then.
Image source: celica18l
#32
Our conversations were getting shorter and less intriguing. One day, I received great news and wanted to share it to my best friend. I then realized that they deleted and blocked me on facebook.
Image source: Cheesycheese01, Joshua Rawson-Harris
#33
Not my best friend but an ex friend of mine:
“Your best friend doesn’t have depression, she just has those awful thoughts because she watches horror movies”
Image source: -cucumberbitch-, Inside Weather
#34
After years of giving me a hard time for eloping, making me promise after my 1st divorce that if I marry again she MUST be invited…. I invited her. She got her mom to babysit her kids, and then went to her ex boyfriends house to f**k all weekend, totally blowing off my wedding.
My wedding was extremely small. Besides my daughter, she was my only invited guest.
She showed me right there exactly how important I was to her.
Image source: Lunasea4
#35
When he didn’t invite me to his birthday party. I went over to drop off a present, thinking he wasn’t having a party (hadn’t mentioned anything at school) and found him with his better friends.
Edit: Holy s**t this blew up. Doubled my karma. Also don’t be too mean please; it was 4th grade and he’s not a terrible person.
Image source: Admiral_Dermond
#36
I had a group that I considered my best friends in middle and high school. I’d been incredibly troubled and depressed, but we all got along and were competitive in academics. They were the people I loved to spend time with. I transferred to a new high school but still saw them all the time.
One day we went to dinner, and plans were to go spend the night at my place after. At dinner, I casually came out.
Suddenly, no one was able to make it to my place for the night.
Image source: boiiwings
#37
When they said that I’m not funny and never have been. They said they only laughed at my jokes out of pity. They then said that no girl would ever like me and that I’m annoying. The thing about girls didn’t hurt that bad but for some reason by them saying I wasn’t funny really hurt. This was after 3 years of being best friends
Image source: LebronayJamayes
#38
When he showed up to a party with his new girlfriend, who was my ex that I had broken up with less than two weeks prior. He knew that I was really hurt about the break up, as it was a situation where I was really in love with her, but I broke up with her because I kept catching her lying to me and I was about 99% certain she was cheating on me also. When they showed up, I was so pissed off at them that I didn’t know what to do, so I excused myself and left the party. The next day, I confronted him about the situation over the phone, and he told me I was the one being the a*****e because he thought I was going to be a “cool bro” and I would be excited for him since he was getting his d**k wet. He then told me that if they didn’t work out, we could just go back to being best friends again, as if it worked that way. They ended up breaking up a few weeks later when she started pulling the same s**t on him that she had pulled with me.
Image source: HoneyDippinDan
#39
I have lived within 2 hours of him for the last 6 years and he has never come to visit me, always me visiting him. Last straw had a huge July 4th bbq and invited him and he declined so he could go to a lake with strangers. F**k you Rick!
Image source: lizard_king0000, Toa Heftiba
#40
We graduated from high school and she went to college halfway across the world. When she came back to visit, when I tried to hang out with her she was always too busy. I later saw tons of pictures posted on Facebook with her and other girls having fun together. So that’s what she was so busy with.
Then at one point she told me that those girls had actually invited me to everything but she convinced them I wouldn’t be able to go. I would have been able to go. I left her alone after that
Edit: I see a lot of speculation in the comments so I’ll try to clear things up – these girls were all people I’d been going to school with since kindergarten or so. We all knew each other. I was on good terms with the other girls. The girl I’d been best friends with since first grade so I felt loyal to her even though as we got older she got meaner. I’ve learned better since then.
I have no idea why she said that but when she said it, it was with no malice or shame or anything. Like she was just offfhandedly stating a fact. I honestly can’t figure out why. Maybe she really did think I was busy and it just came out really, really wrong. But it seems deliberate when you do that consistently for 2-3 weeks while everyone was back home.
Image source: ndhlpplse, Jametlene Reskp
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