Grandparents can play a beautiful role in a child’s life, helping with everything from dressing and bathing to taking the baby on walks and even whipping up home-cooked meals. These little moments help build a special bond between generations. But sometimes, that involvement can cross a line.
Take the case of one new mom who agreed to let her mother-in-law, who lives across the country, access their baby monitor. At first, it seemed like a sweet way for grandma to feel connected from afar. But things took a turn when the MIL started commenting on private moments, including criticizing the mom’s robe during breastfeeding. Feeling creeped out and judged, the mom quietly revoked access. Now, her husband says she overreacted and “made it a thing.”
So… who’s in the wrong here? Keep reading to find out what happened and why the internet had strong opinions.
Grandparents often cherish the chance to bond with their grandkids, especially in the early months after birth
Image credits: AnnaStills (not the actual photo)
One woman shared how her mother-in-law began using the baby monitor not just to watch the baby but to criticize her parenting and even her appearance
Image credits: newman_studio (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Valuable-Kitchen4377
Parents often install baby monitors to check on their little ones without disturbing them
New parents often install baby monitors for a mix of practical and emotional reasons. At the heart of it all is one key benefit: peace of mind. Baby cams allow parents to keep an eye on their little one at any time, from anywhere in the house (or beyond), which can be incredibly comforting, especially for first-time parents still adjusting to the unpredictable world of newborn care.
There’s a unique reassurance that comes from being able to check in on your baby without having to tiptoe into the room and risk waking them. Whether it’s during the day or in the middle of the night, baby monitors give parents more control, more awareness, and more rest, all of which are priceless during those early months.
Beyond just safety, baby cams can also help monitor sleep patterns and daily routines. You might notice when the baby tends to stir, how long naps are lasting, or even catch a few sleepy smiles. It’s like having an extra pair of eyes when your hands (and brain) are already full.
Plus, let’s be real, baby monitors often capture little magical moments that might otherwise be missed. A quiet giggle, a stretch, or a tiny yawn can become sweet memories saved on video. In some cases, it also allows distant family members to feel involved in those early stages of life.
In this case, the mom generously gave her mother-in-law access to their baby cam so she could feel closer to her new grandchild from across the country. It seemed harmless at first until the MIL began commenting on private moments. That crossed a line.
It’s crucial that new moms and babies have uninterrupted time to bond. That space isn’t just about comfort, it’s vital for emotional and physical well-being. Being watched (and judged) during those vulnerable moments can make a mom feel exposed and unsettled, even in her own home.
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Loved ones should always respect the boundaries set by new parents
For grandparents and extended family, it’s important to understand where support ends and overstepping begins. While it’s natural to be excited and eager to help, respecting the new parents’ space is essential. That includes not commenting on every diaper change or outfit choice you see on a screen.
Have open communication with the parents about what they need and what they’re comfortable with. Some parents may be perfectly fine with you holding their baby upright, while others might prefer a different approach. It all comes down to respecting their preferences and checking in; communication is key.
Every parent has their own approach. Offering advice is fine but dictating or passive-aggressively judging their choices can be overwhelming and damaging. What’s intended as “help” can easily come off as control, especially when it’s constant. And unfortunately, that’s exactly how this mom felt.
Eventually, she quietly revoked access to the baby monitor and her husband wasn’t happy about it. He felt she’d made it “a thing,” while she felt it was a basic boundary. So… was she wrong? Or was it a long-overdue step to protect her peace? What would you do in this situation? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below.
Image credits: Caleb Oquendo (not the actual photo)
People online overwhelmingly agreed that the woman was right to revoke her MIL’s access, calling the constant surveillance intrusive and inappropriate
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