Wow. The final scene in last night’s Gossip Girl probably has plenty of fans catching their breaths and parents going mad. It was as if one of the marketing posters from the show’s early years came to life and exploded all over the place. The other 40 minutes? Umm…
I Hate You. Now Take Off Your Damn Clothes!
Chair fans are probably having a celebration as I write this review, because the couple on the show finally knocked Marc Jacobs boots and made the grand piano a new hot spot for spontaneous erotic inspiration. The reunion was quick, hot, and sexual tension only. That was high class hate sex there and nothing else will be there in the morning except more sexual tension (according to the promo for next week) and no deep love for the other person. It might take something more for them to take the hostile out of their bedroom meetings and turn their transactions into something lucratively positive.
As for all the nonsense leading up to the explosion of passion between the two fan favorites (actual treaties to be notorized? Really?), the one thing that came out of it worth mentioning is the realization of how childish everything was. Bravo on all who came to this conclusion, even though Dan was three cycles late to the party (more on that later). With Blair turning 20 (Happy Birthday, Blair!) I hope she takes the knowledge her mother gave her about maintaining the mean inside and stick with it.
Humphrey, What The Hell?
How can Dan not only renege on everything he told Jenny last week, but get shot down by everyone for his actions, including his own father? Let’s start with the former…
In my review for last week’s episode, I called Dan out for declaring Jenny deserved to be in Hudson if she was going to revert back to the thing the Upper East Siders created, because he saw the hell Jenny got from Blair and just let it slide. Now he wants to come out guns blazing? No, sir, that ship has sailed. Should’ve jumped on it when you had the chance, Humphrey, instead of taking a ride on your soapbox.
Now, what messed me up was Rufus claiming Dan had stooped to Blair, Chuck, and Nate’s level. I’m pretty sure if King Self-Righteous himself had of known what Jenny went through last week, he would be singing a different tune.
Juliet, What In God’s Name Are You After?
Don’t get me wrong. I LOVE me some Katie Cassidy, God knows I do. But I need answers and I needed them three weeks ago. 
Last night’s dastardly plan was a bit confusing for me as I didn’t know what target Juliet had in mind until the conversation with Ben. So Colin has no clue about what his cousins Juliet and Ben are up to, clearing him off our “Fire On Sight” list for coming after Serena. However, he has to know Serena in some capacity for Ben to be behind bars having Juliet carry out schemes to get revenge for doing something to their family. What could she have possibly done for this type of treatment? It better be a whopper of a revelation, but one that will clear Juliet, because she’s slowly becoming an unwilling pawn in this war and I don’t like it. Ella Simms would not be amused…
So, peeps, did you scream in joy at the semi-Chair reunion? Throw a shoe at Dan? Or were you still trying to figure out how the hell Ben texted Juliet from behind prison?
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It was a fantastic ending to a mediocre episode in a mediocre season. I love Katy Cassidy also, but Juliet is just not doing it for me. I long for her to bring some Ella heat to the lackluster GG, but the character is a bore. At least Serena's breasts, which are their own cast members, made an appearance. Colin is an interesting character – I love the actor, and he always manages to play charming characters with a dark side pretty well. Blair and Chuck's hate sex certainly was hot, but the rest of it was just tepid at best. It just seems to be a rehash of the same things over and over again. I still watch, but I am actually enjoying 90210 more than GG, which is saying something.