See? A sense of humor IS important in these trying times, especially if you’re even a little bit aware of what this crustacean-looking thing on this guy’s face is. Those of us that have been watching the Alien franchise for so many years, admittedly through the gaps in the fingers covering our eyes early on, would know a face-hugger on sight since the creepy crawly things have been around since the beginning and are by far and large SO much more disturbing than the Xenomorphs. Maybe it’s because when turned on their backs they really do resemble something sexual and all-around disturbing, or maybe it’s because they look like some twisted artist was trying to play God and took the creepiest things they could from several different animals and lumped them into one nightmarish image that would be guaranteed to freak people out. Whatever the motivation behind this thing was it worked since the creature has been one of the most feared and definitely disgusting things in the history of the Alien franchise. But as a mask meant to keep a person safe from the coronavirus it might actually be okay. From a functionality standpoint it is bound to keep people away since the thing looks absolutely creepy. Just imagine if it had a way of ‘moving’ on its own, then people would really back up, and likely start watching for signs of a chest burst from the wearer.
Annnnd we have a winner! The functionality of the mask is 3 fold, it covers/protects your mouth, guarantees ppl will stay away from you and reminds everyone that if Ash the evil robot didn't break quarantine THE REST OF THE SHIP WOULD HAVE BE FINE! #MondayMorning #coronavirus pic.twitter.com/NJqXco2CBW
— Jeff Barnaby (@tripgore) April 6, 2020
Rating a face-hugger over a xenomorph in terms of being creepy isn’t all that hard really since the creepy things have a mobility that’s just insane when you watch the movies. Not only can they leap, climb, and use that tail to great effect, but their grip is insanely strong and the fact that they use their tail to latch onto their prey even tighter is another mark of how dangerous they are. The acid for blood quality is kind of a gimme with the xenomorph’s and anything having to do with them since it’s both a defense mechanism and, as we’ve seen it in the movies, an offensive weapon as well. It’s also a handy way to melt a floor and escape. Despite knowing it’s not real though there’s a good chance that no one would want to touch it if things weren’t the way they are now. As of now now one’s bound to touch it anyway since most people, not all of them yet, are staying a firm six feet or more away from each other. But this thing being strapped to your face might make it possible to see people back up even further since as far as masks go it’s definitely one of the craziest things a person could wear. It is funny to think though that if Ash hadn’t disregarded orders for quarantine that yes, the rest of the crew on the Nostromo would have been fine and the company back on earth would have never known about the xenomorphs at all, at least not from this story. Of course that’s no way to tell a story, but it’s just a thought.
The Alien story has gone way beyond the movies to be honest and has been seen to inspire its own line of novels that are actually kind of interesting since at one point the xenomorphs do make landfall on earth, and as you can imagine their ability to survive in just about any climate makes them an immediate danger to anything within their vicinity. At some point the humans have to start fighting for their world and do eventually take to the stars, though the fight is a long and very undecided one since all types of tactics are tried. Upon colonizing other worlds they eventually have to contend with the Predators along with the xenomorphs, who are a favored creature for the Predators, known as the yautja, to hunt. In other words, the Alien story has been allowed to expand and to grow for year now until we finally had Aliens vs. Predator, which was okay but not a blockbuster, and are still hoping to this day to receive a movie on such an epic scale that it will end up being above and beyond anything we’ve seen before. But seeing as how the property is owned by Disney now, that hope is kind of dim since Alien isn’t exactly family-friendly, and trying to make it so would likely ruin it. John Squires of Bloody Disgusting has more to say on this.
But at least we can still have fun with the whole idea in various ways such as this mask and other ideas until the Mouse House gets it through their collective head that they’re going to have to bite the bullet eventually and just give people what they’re asking for without trying to Disney-fy everything. Sometimes you’ve got to step out of the family room.
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