America has been rocking with the Johnsons from Black-ish for a solid eight seasons. Through the genius of Kenya Barris, we got ushered into the world of Rainbow (Tracee Ellis Ross), an incredibly intelligent medical doctor married to an advertising executive, Andre ‘Dre’ Johnson ( Anthony Anderson), who took a liking to sharing his family woes with his colleagues. Season after season, the Johnsons have served us meme-worthy moments, as well as addressed pressing matters such as race, feminism, parenthood, and work-life balance. We’ve watched them go through extremely high highs, and incredibly low moments. Above everything, the Johnsons have instilled in us a couple of hard-hitting lessons on marriage. Here are a few of them:
1. There Are Different Approaches To Parenting
The Johnsons showed us that there are different ways to approach parenting. Sometimes it’s best to leave some things unsaid to protect your child’s feelings. That’s what any parent would do, until you have a strong child like Diane ( Marsai Martin) who is not shy to talk about colorism. In that case, you have to tackle the conversation head-on. Other times, grabbing the bull by its horns may not be such a good idea. When Diane had a boy from school lend her a sweatshirt, Dre was furious! In his eyes, his daughter was only one gift away from pregnancy. He hurled words at her in an almost careless manner, throwing away any avenue they had built of having a sensible conversation with their daughter. Diane called out her parents for being too hard on her because she was a girl. Though she and her twin Jack ( Miles Brown) posted in the same way on social media, Diane was more likely to get a bashing. Dre and Bow heard their children, but that did not stop them from tracking their movements when they could.
2. There’ll Be A Couple Of Unfulfilled Dreams
Prior to getting married, Dre and Bow each had a list of dreams they wanted to fulfill. Unluckily, neither of them got to see those goals come to life because life happened. Dre wanted to become a DJ and win at least five Source awards. In another life, he would have married Lisa Bonnet. Bow wasn’t his dream girl. Thirteenth on the list of Dre’s dreams was running a mile without stopping. In addition to that, a younger Dre wanted to learn how to do a backflip, get a ghostwriter for his autobiography, learn how to talk to girls, and discover the next big girl group. As if putting Lisa Bonnet on his dream list wasn’t crazy enough, Dre also wanted to marry Naomi Campbell. According to Dre, there were parts of himself that Bow made him give up, and he went on a quest to revive those broken dreams. As Dre turned the living room into a club, Bow used the garage as an art gallery. In doing so, both of them proved that marriage is about setting some dreams aside to make collective goals work.
3. In The Long Term, Couples May Grow Distant
Wedding days are often full of glamour. ‘Happily Ever After’ is a concept that has been sold over and again, but the truth is, marriage is not about highs. There are lows as well, and when couples fail to consciously solve their issues, they find themselves repeating the same cycles until they reach a pit from which it’s hard to crawl. Bow and Dre found themselves in a place where none of them was feeling connected to the other. “ I don’t know…We’re just off,” Bow said. The pair had become a shadow of their former selves. They weren’t in sync. Unlike the fun bubbly couple we had gotten used to, Dre and Bow were now fighting constantly, and considering therapy and divorce. If either wasn’t up in arms about kitchen renovation, the other was mumbling under their breath. In a rare moment from Ruby, who was always a savage most of the time, we learned that marriage is about choice, and the key to hacking it is falling in love as many times as one can.
4. Children Could Develop Different Beliefs
Everyone has their own views on what it means to raise a child. According to media mogul Oprah Winfrey, at some point parents are no longer managers in their children’s lives, they are consultants. At this point, children begin to have their own beliefs and morph into adults. The best any parent can do is provide guidance. Will Smith, in his definition of love and parenting, says love is simply allowing a flower to be what it wants to be. Imposing your own beliefs, however conflicting, only results in resistance. Trouble arose in the Johnson household when Rainbow’s younger brother Johan ( Daveed Diggs) came into the picture. Johan had acquired sophisticated taste from living in Paris and was at the same time a bearer of ‘woke’ thoughts. Having him around must have awakened something in Zoey. The entire family was seated at the dining table, ready to have a meal when Dre had a brief exchange with Johan. When Dre asked Zoey ( Yara Shahidi) to lead grace, she said she couldn’t. Not even grandma Ruby’s ( Jennifer Lewis) belief in Black Jesus could have prevented the bewilderment that came with Zoey’s declaration: “ I don’t know if I feel comfortable leading grace when I’m not sure if I believe in God.”
5. With In-Laws, Boundaries Are Important
There was never a shortage of in-law drama in the Johnson household. To begin with, grandma Ruby was at the forefront of delivering the most brutal yet sometimes honest truths, even to her own son, Dre. When Dre tried setting boundaries with her, things did not go too well. Sometimes Ruby went a little too far with her antics, much to Bow’s disappointment. When she fed her baby formula, Rainbow lost it with her mother-in-law. Luck was on her side, however, since it happened to be one of the few times Ruby had the heart to make an apology. Dre’s side of the family wasn’t the only trouble the Johnsons had to deal with. Rainbow’s brother Johan was quite a handful. Thanks to his undeniably good looks, he was the bridge that anchored a clash between both sides of the family. Grandma Ruby couldn’t stop staring and may have breached protocol once or twice to find entry into Johan’s room. The constant breach of boundaries only emphasized what everyone knew all along; with in-laws, boundaries are supreme.
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