We are on the hunt for a Black Widow, no, not the character that Scarlett Johansson portrays in The Avengers movies and no, it has nothing to do with the poisonous spider who kills and devours her mate. However, this particular Black Widow got the killing part down in this episode of White Collar.
Her name is Selena Thomas, a devoted serial monogamist who dates and marries wealthy men and then kills them in order to take their money. Now, she is on the hunt, so to speak, for the next unfortunate soul. Agent Burke, Jones, and Neal go undercover as potential wealthy bachelors to be auctioned off to wealthy single ladies. Jones makes a decent impression while Neal bombs every meeting (on purpose) with all the women except for Selena. Agent Burke tries his best to appear suave and normal, but he doesn’t make that much of an impression on the ladies until he gets to Selena, of course, since she’s the target.
At the end of the auction, Jones is auctioned off pretty quickly, and Neal doesn’t get a single bid, so Diana decides to help him save face by bidding on him. Agent Burke gets the highest bid from Selena herself, and the courtship begins. There are a couple of close calls for Agent Burke as he tries to plant a bug in Selena’s apartment. If it wasn’t for Neal calling him at the last minute, pretending to be someone from Hamilton Mill, it might have been the end for our Agent Burke.
The other close call is when Agent Burke takes Selena to Neal’s apartment, when she suggests that they go to back to his place for the evening. I was holding my breath when Neal was busy talking to Sara while his phone was buzzing away in a bowl. Relief washed over me when Neal finally got the chance to check his phone and was able to sneak away in time to a hidden room in his closet before Agent Burke and Selena arrived.
The scene where Mozzie comes in almost gave me a heart attack as he didn’t know about the goings on of the case. Thank goodness for Agent Burke’s quick-thinking, as he greets Mozzie with his alias Haversham and tells Selena that Mozzie is the one who put everything together for the night. I also applaud the quick-sketch scene where Selena asks Agent Burke to draw her, and the latter gets Neal to do said drawing while the ex-con artist hides in the closet.
I’m also a bit jealous of Neal’s artistic abilities. I can sort of draw, but not as well as Neal. I laughed to myself when Mozzie came back with the completed drawing and told Agent Burke that he needs cash for the dry cleaner. It was also nice to see Elizabeth be so calm about her husband going out on a date with another woman. She even continues to go along with it when Agent Burke gets engaged to Selena and poses as an event planner for the wedding.
It is revealed towards the end of the episode that Selena and the bachelor auction host were in on the scam together. The auction host would hold these bachelor auction events and Selena would charm the lucky man until she killed them, making sure that her victims leave their money to a “charity” of her choice. The scam may have worked again if had Diana not showed Selena a photo of the auction host’s supposed “death,” which leads Selena to withdraw all of the money that she has taken from her past victims. Oh, and the twist is that the auction host isn’t really dead but just drunk from all the shots that Agent Burke and Neal made him drink at Agent Burke’s bachelor party. Well played, Team Burke, well played.
Agent Burke then makes things up to his wife by giving her the wedding that she always wanted: small, simple and just the two of them. The ceremony is held at Neal’s apartment with Mozzie being the minister who officiates the ceremony. It was really sweet and romantic of Agent Burke, and I, being the hopeless romantic that I am, hope that someday I will find someone who will love me till the end of time. Episode 6, if you please!
[Photo via USA Network]
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