Some questions, like ‘What’s the meaning of life?’, are difficult to answer because they’re, well, difficult. However, there’s also the other end of the spectrum. I’m talking about questions that are so basic, you start wondering if the people who came up with them are alright. Recently, reddit user waldo06 asked the internet ‘What’s something you can’t believe you had to explain to another adult?’ and the responses started pouring in. It has received 15k upvotes and 11,462 comments in just days, proving that we all sometimes suffer from brainis fartis.
#1
Was tipped a twenty dollar bill to be spilt between myself and a coworker. I handed her $10 I had in my pocket and took the $20. She said it wasn’t fair that I had $20 and she only had $10. I tried to explain to her that I already had the $10, so another $10 equalled $20. She couldn’t wrap her head around it, insisting I was trying to rip her off. She gave me back the ten bucks, took the twenty to a register and made change of two 10 dollar bills. As she hands me mine I showed her that now I still have $20 and she has $10, but somehow she was satisfied she’d thwarted my attempts to short change her. Needless to say I didn’t stay friends with her after that.
This is made all the more ridiculous by the fact that she had once told me she was forced to repeat grade 12 math class because she got 100%, and the teacher accused her of cheating. The following year she got 98%. I’m thinking something fishy is going on there
Image source: camleep, Dwayne Bent
#2
Had to explain to someone that islands don’t tip over if you put too much weight on the edge.
Image source: Usefuldrone, Scott
#3
My wife and I had to explain to the neighbor that our dog is part of our family, and no they can’t just have him.
Their kids wanted our dog, which was cute, until the mother also decided that she wanted our dog and it was only fair that they got to have him on the weekends because we get to have him all week long
Image source: PracticalBrad, Aiko, Thomas & Juliette+Isaac
#4
I had to explain to my mother that muscles are meat.
A piece of meat was tough, and so I must have said something about what part of the cow the muscle came from. No, we weren’t eating muscles, we were eating ‘meat’. She was sickened by the concept that anyone would eat muscles. Somehow this got to the point of her claiming that humans didn’t have any ‘meat’ on them because they aren’t food.
I did not ‘win’ that argument. Humans have no meat, meat is not muscles. Period. Oh, it turns out people are not part of the animal kindom either.
It was a dismal childhood.
Image source: jtclimb, Jun Seita
#5
Scenario 1:
Them:” So where are you from?” Me: “South Africa.” Them: “Wait what?…Aren’t you supposed to be black?” Me: “uh yeah no”
Scenario 2:
Them: “So which country are you from?” Me: “South Africa.” Them: “Yeah but which country?” Me: “yeah I just said South Africa.” Them:”come on dude just tell me the country – I know where South of Africa is. Me:”No, actually South Africa is a whole country…”
Image source: custardandcrumble, Beatrice Murch
#6
I had to explain to a teacher, in front of her class, that a penguin was a bird.
I didn’t want to be like that but she was adamant that if it didn’t fly, it wasn’t a bird.
Image source: chickenlaaag, Nigel Swales
#7
I had to explain to my friend that the earth wasn’t 2019 years old.
Image source: Antares25, Dmitry EliuseevFollow
#8
As a server, there are so many times I have to explain to guests that chicken can’t be cooked “medium rare”.
Image source: Anon29485382, cattan2011
#9
Why a room below sea level on a cruise ship would not have a balcony
Image source: JustSomeGirl31718, Lyn Gateley
#10
My mom asked me why you couldn’t see the borders of states when you were in an airplane.
Image source: AClubOfLosers, David Shane
#11
That I couldn’t just go to the bathroom and pee my period out to be done with it. He was about 19/20 at the time and obviously didn’t have sex education….been married 25 years. He will never live that down.
Image source: csiddiqui, Mark Norman Francis
#12
Don’t bring your dog to work and let her pee/poop on the carpet. Tiny poop and little puddles are not ok just because they’re tiny. She weighs 4 pounds. He said she’s so little it doesn’t matter. He said he never even notices at home and if I had a dog, I’d feel differently. (Have a dog. Still don’t want urine and feces in my carpet—at home or at work.)
Image source: mystyry, osseous
#13
I had to explain to a lady that dinosaur bones at the Museum of Natural History in DC were real. She thought dinosaurs were mythical creatures…not real.
Image source: maritagator
#14
That drinks have caloric content. A coworker was complaining how she was having trouble losing weight and didn’t realize drinking 4 hot chocolates a day was not really conducive to weight loss.
Image source: freemasonry
#15
Had a coworker who said she didn’t eat eggs because they’re “forced abortion babies”… Chick refused to accept that unfertilized eggs don’t hatch and she didn’t have to worry because she’s just eating the chickens’ periods. After this conversation carried on far too long, she proceeded to eat a bowl of pasta that I’m 97% sure was made with eggs.
Image source: isyssot_7399
#16
That no matter how much you might want to put a camo pattern on your walls, you (not the paint) have to determine what that pattern looks like and you will also have to purchase multiple cans of paint tinted differently because “camo” doesn’t come out of a can that way.
Image source: MeddlingDragon, pxhere
#17
When a ‘smart’ bomb strikes a building and blows it up, it doesn’t just kill the bad guys, it kills everyone in the building. Smart only means it’s going to hit the building instead of a random location.
Image source: Patches67, bnpositive
#18
New Mexico.
Is.
A.
State.
You have no idea the number of people that believe we are a part of Mexico.
Image source: Electro522
#19
Told my roommate that if he cooked food on less than the highest level of heat, he wouldn’t burn as much food, and would generally have more success.
A week later, I explained to him that when he was just boiling water, high heat was okay.
Image source: CrazyRainbowStar, Matt Buck
#20
Had to explain to a female friend of mine that she doesn’t have to take out her tampon to pee because it’s two completely different holes.
Image source: batataasfritaas
#21
That Earth has one moon. The new moon on the calendar every month confused her.
Image source: Frugal_Midwestern, Emmett Tullos
#22
Food isn’t vegetarian just because it has vegetables in it, and lack of vegetables doesn’t automatically mean it isn’t vegetarian.
Story time. I went to a restaurant and was looking over the menu, which had vegetarian friendly options marked. Pretzels with cheese weren’t marked, so I asked the waitress if she knew why. If it was just something in the cheese, I still wanted to split the pretzels with others at the table and skip the cheese dip. Her answer? “Well, it’s like, um, so pretzels don’t have any vegetables like broccoli in them, they’re just bread, so they aren’t vegetarian. But if you wanted something that is, then you could maybe get the chicken and broccoli because it does have a vegetable with it. But like the mac and cheese wouldn’t be because it doesn’t have vegetables.” Mac and cheese was marked vegetarian friendly.
Image source: Lowe314
#23
That dropping “water bombs” on the Notre Dame fire is [frikkin] stupid. He just wasn’t hearing it, because of course I couldn’t know more about firefighting than the president… I’m a firefighter, I was in uniform.
Image source: Gnarbuttah
#24
In regards to the North and South poles, neither is “the one that is always hot.”
#25
At my work a lady wanted a hamburger but with cheese on it. I said “Oh, so you want a cheeseburger”
The lady said “No, I said a hamburger with cheese on it”
I said “That’s called a cheeseburger”
Lady screams “No!! I want a damn hamburger!!!!! with cheese on it!!!”
Image source: Cannonfury
#26
That Halloween has never and will never fall on Friday the 13th. It was my mom.
Image source: theawkwardmermaid
#27
Every St Patrick’s day in San Antonio they dye the river green. I work hospitality and I had a middle age woman asking me if she could drink the water from the River. I laughed thinking it was a joke but she was really serious about it and got mad saying I was being condescending. I told her no, you should not drink that water and she said that since there was green beer she thought the river could be beer. I reminded her there are ducks living there and I don’t think the city wanted drunk ducks going around downtown. She called corporate saying I insulted her. She was not drunk.
Image source: Mantuko
#28
If you don’t pay your utility bill then said utility will be turned off – everyday at work I have to say this to customers. Every. Day.
Image source: Spellflinger2019
#29
Canada is part of North America
Image source: Jonouy, mapswire
#30
You can’t/shouldn’t iron your clothes while you’re wearing them. One guess as to how this came up.
Image source: PerilousAll
#31
That you can’t get aids through sexual intercourse if you don’t already have the HIV virus inside your body or your partner is carrying it. A guy I talked to once thought that gay men got AIDS simply by having gay sex, and that the disease just spontaneously appeared through the act of inter-anal insemination. I don’t even think that he understood the concept of a virus.
Image source: uninc4life2010
#32
An ex was convinced that the reason the ozone layer is thinning is because airplanes poke holes in as they pass through. No telling her otherwise.
Image source: hamlin6
#33
Press up when you want to go up in the elevator and down if you want to go down. She thought you had to guess where the elevator was and if it was under you lets say, you had to press up.
Image source: Tsitsiripitsitsiri
#34
Had to explain to a neighbor that the sun and the moon were not the same thing.
Image source: afinelittlefrenzy
#35
Yes sir, when you sign up for insurance you’re agreeing to pay for it.
Image source: Emperor_Cartagia, Alex Indigo
#36
That Spain is a real place.
That not everyone who speaks Spanish is a Mexican. And that Mexicans are called that because they’re from Mexico.
That titties and boobies are not the anatomical words for breasts.
Image source: theressomanydogs
#37
There are more than 6 bones in the human body… she thought it was head, back, arms and legs.
Image source: CommonCreator
#38
You can still get diarrhea even if you believe in Jesus…
Image source: CrossYourStars, Elliott Brown
#39
“Well, sir, it’s not illegal to serve food that tastes bad….No, this isn’t a police issue”.
Image source: IamFuzzyWuzzy
#40
How to use packing tape! You haven’t lived until you’ve told a 40 year old man to put the sticky side on the box.
Image source: The_UniCorgi
#41
I once had to explain to a college friend that Indians didn’t have spices running in their blood that allows them to eat spicier food.
Image source: barackandrollband
#42
When you travel at 60mph you will cover sixty miles in an hour.
Image source: howverysmooth
#43
Turn off the high beams for cars traveling in the opposite direction.
Image source: _Poopacabra
#44
That the North Pole is an actual place on the planet and not just a mythical place where Santa and his Elves live. Also had to explain that the South Pole is real.
Granted, they did not think Santa is real. But they also didn’t believe me flat out about the poles, they first argued saying I was crazy and then Googled it.
Image source: happykittysmores
#45
That chickens can lay eggs without a rooster around. My dad and grandma kept trying to tell me there HAS to be a rooster or they don’t lay. I got to explain that to have fertilized eggs you need a rooster but regular eggs for eating don’t need a rooster
Image source: stephmaybe
#46
Had to explain to my 26 year old coworker that the moon does not in fact emit its own light and is simply glowing from the reflection of the sunlight
Image source: OV3NBVK3D
#47
“No, you should not perform an auto-vasectomy at home. You should see a doctor for that”
Image source: QuickNPainful
#48
That Australia and India do not “share a border.”
Image source: just_visiting_earth
#49
If you don’t go to work you won’t get paid, especially when you’re constantly complaining about always being broke. You can’t call out whenever you don’t want to go in, and then wonder why you have no money.
Image source: llcucf80
#50
That a prairie dog and a coyote are 2 different animals, this was a high school teacher.
Image source: nora1981
#51
If you’ve found a dog and are making a sign it should say “found dog” not “lost dog”
Image source: marlynn
#52
A coworker of mine recently quit without notice. A few weeks later, she wasn’t liking her new job much and said she wanted to come back to the store. She could not comprehend the concept of being ineligible for rehire. If you quit without notice, they’re not going to take you back!
Image source: MorwensCats
#53
My friend worked at Office Depot and had to explain to a customer why he couldn’t make him photocopies of a 20 dollar bill
Image source: ynm666
#54
You shouldn’t put scotch in your baby’s formula.
Image source: WeirdJuul
#55
That power tools need to be turned on in order to work.
Image source: TheRealNERFninja
#56
Had to explain to my wife that pickles were made of cucumbers
She didn’t believe me, still not sure she does
Image source: Brownale78
#57
Retirement is something you have to actually prepare for. Magic money does not create itself in a fund that you never started.
Image source: dattsok
#58
i was explaining to my ex girlfriends brother that i will be travling to hawaii he asked “can you drive or do you have to take a plane to get there?” he’s 35
Image source: THEREALKEVINSANE
#59
Had to explain to a 40 year old woman that the clitoris and “pee hole” are different.
Image source: lubodogg
#60
That our sun is a star. It was one of the things that made me say out loud “seriously?”
Image source: conmarap
#61
That getting a bunch of morning after pills from the student health center and having me take one every time we had unprotected sex was a recipe for disaster. And before you ask, he grew up in the Bay Area and was the child of two professors, so it’s not because of a lack of access to sex ed.
Image source: frig-off-mr-lahey
#62
To make pasta you have to boil the water
Image source: caprijew
#63
That Michigan wasn’t the capital of Detroit and that Jerusalem, not Jewersilum exists. My former best friend was and still is the dumbest person I’ve ever met.
Image source: MommySaysBadWords
#64
I am a manufacturing engineer and had to explain to a 33 year old engineering technician what a nut, bolt and washer were Friday.
This is just the icing on her grossly incompetent cake, and I have been logging these incidents with the intent of firing her Monday morning.
Image source: ForgeIsDown
#65
There’s a girl I used to work with who didn’t know submarines actually existed.
Image source: lacroixisbad
#66
Had to explain to someone in college that “3 seconds of dish soap” was not necessary for each plate you wash. As in he would turn the dish soap upside down, and squeeze for “1…2…3”. For. Each. Plate
Image source: Mynameisnotmckenna
#67
Alcohol has calories.
I had to be the one to tell my friend when she was in her mid-20s that the vodka she loved has calories. She was so shocked and said, “What!! I thought since it was clear like water it didn’t have any calories.”
Image source: -eDgAR-
#68
That milk comes from a cow the same color as you see it in the carton and is not in fact actually red milk that has been dyed white in the factory
Image source: empb85
#69
My mother told me nobody can live on $40,000 (USD) a year, and I was unable to get her to understand that it is pretty normal to make $40,000 or less and people do fine with that salary.
Image source: SyntaxGiraffe
#70
You can’t use an electric blanket to dry your bedsheets.
Image source: 221
#71
A dear friend of mine phoned his mother, on his first week away at college, to ask her how you cooked eggs. He was having trouble working the shells in. He wasn’t kidding.
Image source: mranster
#72
6 inches isn’t 0.6 of a foot. She had been slowly, unknowingly, overcharging our company for materials for years.
Image source: fronchtoast
#73
That oil isn’t easier to get in the Middle East because “you only have to drill through sand”.
Image source: hakoMike
#74
That all babies, including the first one after marriage, take 9-10 months to develop. Just because the first one comes along in under 9 months, doesn’t mean that it takes less gestational time.
I was in my mid twenties, and she was several years older.
Image source: Pudacat
#75
That’s having sex on your period doesn’t automatically create AIDS. One of the two people need to already have AIDS.
Image source: grumpygusmcgooney
#76
That raisins are dried grapes
Image source: alexzanderrrrrrrr
#77
That you cannot convert between square meters and cubic feet without additional data.
SQUARE meters. CUBIC feet.
Image source: drsameagle
#78
You have to use water to cook rice in a pan
Image source: JonathanWantsToDie
#79
How to use a new type of electric hand-drying machine (mounted on the wall) in a public men’s room.
The guy tried everything to make it work, other than following the simple instructions on the hand-dryer (it even had arrows pointing the way where his hands should be inserted to activate it).
Image source: Back2Bach
#80
I had to explain to my friend that we didn’t actually gain an hour of sunlight when we changed the clocks in the spring.
Image source: TheNightRumbler
#81
Pasta does not grow on trees.
Mybe she was an adult yet though, but she definitely wasn’t a kid either. Late teen I suppose.
Image source: RedVlvtPanda
#82
I work with this guy who thinks that average precipitation us, like… Some sort of quota that nature is obliged to meet. For example, if it’s a particularly dry summer, he thinks it will just rain a lot in the last few days before summer ends.
Image source: metal_falsetto
#83
No you can’t put that metal pan in the microwave . He was also driving a golf cart with my other friend and when he was close to hitting something he hopped out and tried pushing it away. Other friend hit the brake.
Image source: minimaximoo
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