You must be thinking, “Why does Bored Panda have a list of Terrible Puns?” and “If these puns are funny, why would they be termed terrible?” Hear us out before you jump to any conclusions!
You’re surely acquainted with the expression, “So bad, it’s good.” It’s a way of saying something is so remarkably bad that you find yourself speechless and hypnotized by its lame energy. So, what does this have to do with puns?
The best puns are terrible. Not just bad. Terrible. Some people think puns are the lowest form of humor, but they’re wrong. Puns are the funniest thing ever invented by a man (or woman). They’re the definition of “so bad that they’re good.”
Today, we gave it our worst, though. The terrible puns in this list are of the poorest type, like the most stupid dad jokes you could think of. And yet, they have so much cringeworthy energy and enthusiasm behind them that you can’t help but be drawn in and enjoy their absurdity, even if you’re aware you’re not supposed to find them funny if you have any sanity left!
Beware: If you’re gonna laugh because of them, it means your humor is utterly broken. And that’s totally ok; you’re still cool to us. So sit back and laugh out loud at this selection of terrible jokes that are funny, cringy, lame, and yet enjoyable!
Collection of Really, Like Really Bad Puns
Bad puns, jokes, and memes must definitely be your cup of tea if you scrolled down here! Well then, we no longer want to keep your broken sense of humor waiting! Let’s begin, shall we?
#1 Dad’s Side Hustle Exposed
I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.
#2 Abracadogbra, Anyone?
My dog can do magic tricks. It’s a labracadabrador.
#3 Well, That Escalated Quickly
I lost my job at the bank on the very first day. A woman asked me to check her balance so I pushed her over.
#4 When life gives you left limbs, make right jokes
Did you hear about the guy who had his left leg and his left arm amputated in a car accident? He’s all right now.
#5 Dad jokes hitting different today
What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two.
#6 Whistles That Whistle… Not
I bought a wooden whistle, but it wooden whistle. So I bought a steel whistle, but it steel wooden whistle. So I bought a lead whistle, but it steel wooden lead me whistle.
#7 Spiders Are Just It Pros Now
Why did the spider log on to the computer? To check his web site.
#8 The spice rack hit peak expiration
I had to clean out my spice rack and noticed that everything was too old and had to be thrown out. What a waste of thyme.
#9 Objet trouvé: French gamer vibes
I asked a Frenchman if he played video games. He said Wii.
#10 Toddlers: The Real Crime Bosses
Why did the police go to the daycare center? A three-year-old was resisting a rest.
#11 When your closet is basically a fantasy novel
I asked the lion in my wardrobe what he was doing there. He said it was Narnia business.
#12 Now that’s a snappy crime solver
What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
#13 Rollin’ like it’s magic
What’s Harry Potter’s favourite way to get down a hill? Walking…
JK, Rolling.
#14 Well, That Escalated Quickly
I was sitting in traffic the other day. Probably why I got run over.
#15 Shockingly Clear Moments
I was struggling to figure out how lightning works. Then it struck me.
#16 Eye see what you did there
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
“Between us, something smells.”
#17 Moo-ving Origins Revealed
Where do milkshakes come from? Nervous cows.
#18 Dessert Bites Back
What do you get if you cross a snake with a pie? A pie-thon.
#19 Who knew creepy crawlies could chat?
What do you get when you cross a centipede with a parrot? A walkie talkie.
#20 Waves of Carbonation Feels
I had a crazy dream last night. I dreamt I was swimming in a sea of orange soda. Turns out it was just a fanta-sea.
#21 Unexpected pasta engineering skills
I told my friend I was going to make a bike out of spaghetti. You should have seen her face when I rode straight pasta.
#22 Magic math skills on point
A Mexican magician told his audience he would disappear on the count of three. He wrapped his cape around himself and began to count. “Uno… Dos…” and then POOF, he disappeared without a Tres.
#23 Goalies Keep It Real
Why should you never break up with a goalie? Because he’s a keeper.
#24 Leaf me here cracking up
What kind of tree fits in your hand? A palm tree.
#25 When life hands you max volume deals
I saw an ad that said “television for sale, $1, volume stuck on full” and I thought to myself, I can’t turn that down.
#26 I see what you did there
What did the pony say when he had a sore throat? “Do you have any water? I’m a little horse.”
#27 Pun Intended, Always
“Do you want to taco ’bout it?” “It’s nacho problem.”
#28 Kernel of a joke right there
What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? “Where is pop corn?”
#29 Low-key missing my shot
I wanted to take a picture of the fog this morning but I mist my chance. I guess I could dew it tomorrow.
#30 Peak doctor humor right there
“Doctor, there’s a patient on line one that says he’s invisible.”
“Well, tell him I can’t see him right now.”
#31 I see what you did there
What kind of songs do the planets sing? Nep-tunes.
#32 Spotted and totally exposed
Why can’t a leopard hide? Because he’s always spotted.
#33 This Bee Can’t Decide Either
What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybe.
#34 Fruit jokes always unlock a smile
What kind of key opens a banana? A monkey.
#35 Well, that escalated quickly
I used to be a tap dancer, until I fell in the sink.
#36 Vintage pirate vibes, still sailing strong
What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? Aye matey.
#37 Well Played, Photo Crime
How did the picture end up in jail? It was framed.
#38 Classic dad joke energy
What did the fish say when he swam into a wall? Dam.
#39 Jurassic Parking Fails
What do you get when two dinosaur crash their cars? A T-wrecks.
#40 Classic Dad Joke Energy
What do you call cheese which isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.
#41 Ron-stoppable Humor Hits Different
“Why don’t I get my friends ‘Harry Potter’ jokes?”
“Because there is something Ron with you.”
#42 That Joke Didn’t Age Well
My friend made a joke about the TV controller. It wasn’t remotely funny.
#43 Pun Intended, Clearly
Once, there was a lumberjack who wandered into a magical forest. As he swung his axe at a tree, the tree said “don’t cut me down, I’m a talking tree!” The lumberjack replied, “and you will dialogue.”
#44 Taxidermist’s first aid kit?
Why did the cat go to medical school? To become a first aid kit.
#45 Moodier Than Your Monday
What do you call a sad cheese? A blue cheese.
#46 Ketchup on that burn
What did the waiter say when he dropped a hotdog? It could have been wurst.
#47 Classic dad joke energy
Why couldn’t the bicycle stand on its own? It was too tired.
#48 Classic dad joke energy
What’s an astronaut’s favourite part of a computer? The space bar.
#49 This pun’s too fresh to handle
How does a scientist freshen her breath? With experi-mints.
#50 Houston, We’ve Got a Pun
How do you throw a party in space? You planet.
#51 Dad joke energy, but I’ll allow it
How does the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it.
#52 X-Ray Techs Don’t Miss Much
Never lie to an x-ray technician. They can see right through you.
#53 Pun game: teacher edition
Why did the teacher wear sunglasses to school? Because her students were so bright.
#54 Well, That Took a Twist
Bobby broke his finger today, but on the other hand he was completely fine.
#55 Death by pun is still a win
Which day of the week is a chicken’s least favourite? Fry-day.
#56 Classic dad joke energy
What did the teacher say when the horse walked into the class? Why the long face?
#57 Practice makes perfect, even if you’re hanging upside down
Learning to sleep upside down is hard for bats, but eventually they get the hang of it.
#58 Kneading a Better Greeting
What does the baker always say to his customers? Do you oven come here?
#59 Guess the Moon’s Restaurant Vibe
Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? I heard it was good but it had no atmosphere.
#60 Classic Dad Joke Energy
Did you hear the rumour about the butter? Never mind, it wouldn’t spread.
#61 Salsa: Testing the Dip Waters
I wanted to learn to dance so I started with salsa. I wanted something I could dip in to.
#62 Time’s up and so am I
I’ve just been fired from a clock factory, even after all those extra hours I put in.
#63 Low-key the hottest pickup line
What did one volcano say to the other? I lava you.
#64 Elf-abet Class: Nailed It
What do elves learn in school? The elf-abet.
#65 Speed Bumps? Still Sneaking Up On Me
I have a speed bump phobia, but I’m slowly getting over it.
#66 Planetary pickup lines hitting different
What did Mars say to Saturn?
“Give me a ring sometime.”
#67 Small problem, big patience
“Doctor, doctor, help! I think I’m shrinking!”
“Take this and you’ll be back to normal in a few weeks. Until then, you’ll just have to be a little patient.”
#68 That one actually hit different
Thanks for explaining the word many to me, it means a lot.
#69 Udderly Punny Night Out
Where do cows go for entertainment? To the moo-vies.
#70 Not your average vampire vibes
What has fangs and webbed feet? Count Duckula.
#71 Detective Duck’s Greatest Hit
What was the goal of the detective duck? To quack the case of course.
#72 One Tail, No Plot Twist
Why are all dogs bad storytellers? Because they only have one tale.
#73 I See What You Did There
What happens when it’s raining cats and dogs? I don’t know but you can step in a poodle.
#74 Bee puns worth the buzz
Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use a honeycomb.
#75 Best Worst Joke Ever
What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper? Ruff!
#76 You Don’t See a Cheese Walk Into Bars Everyday
A cheese sandwich walks into a bar. The waiter says, “we don’t serve food here.”
#77 Time to snack, apparently
What did the clock do when he was hungry? He went back four seconds.
#78 Classic Dad Joke Energy
What type of candy is never on time? Choco-late.
#79 Lettuce Keep It Cool
What did the mayonnaise say when somebody opened the refrigerator? Hey, close the door, I’m dressing!
#80 Soft drink saves the day
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.
#81 This Pun Deserves a Toast
Did you hear about the antiques collector who found an old Coca Cola lamp? She was soda lighted.
#82 Im-pasta? Classic dad move.
What do you call a fake noodle? An im-pasta.
#83 Stuffed Bears Don’t Need Snacks
Why are teddy bears never hungry? They are always stuffed.
#84 Mushroom Space Matters
How much room should you give fungi to grow? As mushroom as possible.
#85 This Joke’s Got a Boomerang Vibe
I heard a funny joke about a boomerang earlier. I’m sure it’ll come back to me.
#86 Logical, but brutally honest
What do you call a boomerang that never comes back? A stick.
#87 Mind-Blown by a Flying Disc
I used to wonder why frisbees looked bigger the closer they got. Then it hit me.
#88 Finally, a puppet with boundary issues
Broken puppets for sale. No strings attached.
#89 Pun intended, obviously
Why don’t you interrupt someone working on a puzzle? You’ll hear some crosswords.
#90 Snack time’s secretly a sport too
Why are basketball players such messy eaters? Because they’re always dribbling.
#91 Nosey Neighbors, Beware
What did the nose say to the finger? Quit picking on me.
#92 Ear-resistibly cheap, matey!
How much does it cost a pirate to gets his ears pierced? About a buck an ear.
#93 Spirit Level: Not Booze Friendly
Don’t drink with ghosts, they can’t handle their boos.
#94 Double the eraser, zero sense
Pencils could be made with erasers at each end, but what would be the point?
#95 Victim of a Sneezy Bite
How can you tell if a vampire has a cold? He starts coffin.
#96 Mind reader loading… please wait
I’m working on a device that reads minds. I’d love to hear your thoughts.
#97 Sea you wave back
How can you tell if the ocean is friendly? It waves.
#98 Cold but deadly humor
What do you get if you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite.
#99 Guess the Airline Wins Again
A man sued an airline company after it lost his luggage. Unfortunately he lost his case.
#100 That’s one smelly verdict
What did the judge say when the skunk came into the courtroom? “Odor in the court.”
#101 Tentacles of laughter
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles.
#102 Sweetest bite around
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
#103 Low-key dino humor, don’t @ me
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because it’s pee is silent.
#104 Comedy’s wild side revealed
Why did the lion spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny.
#105 Okay, that’s pawsome
What’s a cats favourite colour? Purrr-ple.
#106 No one’s packing like this llama
What do you say to a Llama that loves picnicking? Alpaca lunch.
#107 Batting a Thousand Laughs
What animal is at a baseball game? A bat.
#108 Instant Squirrel Approval Hack
How do you get a squirrel to like you? Act like a nut.
#109 Time’s best furry friend
What dog keeps the best time? A watch dog.
#110 Game of Toucans
A friend of mine annoyed me with bird puns. But toucan play that game.
#111 Spots on point, as always
What did the dalmatian say after lunch? That hit the spot.
#112 This Snack Needs a Doctor
Why did the cookie go to hospital? Because he felt crummy.
#113 Classic food pun energy
What did one plate say to the other? Lunch is on me.
#114 Guess gravity’s got jokes today
How do you make a lemon drop? Just let it fall.
#115 Fruit drama hits different
Why was the baby strawberry crying? Because its parents were in a jam.
#116 Saucy Pickup Line Energy
What did the pizza say to the beautiful topping? I never SAUsage a beautiful face.
#117 Not Your Grandma’s Egg Roll Recipe
How do you make a good egg roll? You push it down a hill.
#118 This pun just scored a goal
What is every soccer players favourite drink? Penal-tea.
#119 Citrus Gone Full Sprint
Why didn’t the orange win the race? He ran out of juice.
#120 Peak dad joke energy
What does a pizza say when it introduces itself to you? Slice to meet you.
#121 Dad joke level: Expert
How do you say goodbye to a hotdog? Bun voyage.
#122 Batter’s Not Just For Cakes
What do cakes and a baseball have in common? They both need a batter.
#123 Shelf-aware humor hits different
What did the librarian say when the books were a mess? We ought to be ashamed of ourshelves.
#124 Plot twist: It’s the library
Which building in New York has the most stories? The public library.
#125 Metal moods only
Why are robots never afraid? They have nerves of steel.
#126 Pun definitely intended
What do you call a funny mountain? Hill-arious.
#127 Parenting, but make it cosmic
How do you stop an astronaut’s baby from crying? You rocket.
#128 Cornering the heat like a pro
If you ever feel cold just stand in a corner. They’re usually around 90 degrees.
#129 Heavy thoughts under a full moon
When is the moon at its heaviest? When it’s full.
#130 Burning up with charm
What do you call an attractive volcano? Lava-ble.
#131 Classic ghost teacher energy
What did the ghost teacher say to his class? “Look at the board and I will go through it again.”
#132 Low-Key Terrifying Job Title
Why was the cow afraid? He was a cow-herd.
#133 Classic crab energy right here
Why didn’t the crab donate to charity? He’s shellfish.
#134 Cold politics, who knew?
Where do polar bears vote? The North Poll.
#135 Official Doggo Snack Goals
If your dog was craving pizza what kind of pizza would he want? Puperoni.
#136 This Joke’s Trunk-ional
What do you get when you cross an elephant with a fish? Swimming trunks.
#137 Why did no one see it coming?
I once met a pig that did karate. We called him Pork Chop.
#138 Moo-ving Spy Goals
What do you call a cow spying on another cow? A steak out.
#139 Good Morning, Quackstarter
What time does a duck wake up? At the quack of dawn.
#140 When Your Goals Are Literally Circular
Why did the poor dog chase his own tail? He was trying to make both ends meet.
#141 Tall problems, bigger distractions
Why did the giraffe get bad grades? Because he had his head in the clouds.
#142 This joke actually plowed me over
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bull-dozer.
#143 Best Pun You’ll Pretend You Didn’t Hear
What do you call a horse that lives next door? A neigh-bor.
#144 Quack Up and Light Up
What do you get if you cross fireworks with a duck? A firequacker.
#145 Okay, now that’s a wordplay winner
Which dinosaur has the best vocabulary? The thesaurus.
#146 Udderly Unexpected Blast
What noise do you hear when a cow breaks the sound barrier? Cowboom.
#147 Snack time, but make it byte-sized
What is a computer’s favorite snack? Computer chips.
#148 Dad jokes hitting different today
What did the hamburger name its baby? Patty.
#149 Snack goals, but make it spacey
What is fast, loud and crunchy? A rocket chip.
#150 Now that’s dedication to the grind
Why did the butcher do overtime last week? To make ends meat.
#151 That Joke Crumbled Me
Why was the cookie sad? Because his mum was a wafer so long.
#152 Homework tastes better than it sounds
Why did the student eat his homework? Because the teacher told him it was a piece of cake.
#153 Classic fruit doctor moment
Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well.
#154 Chewing Through a Galaxy Far, Far Away
I went to a restaurant last night and had the Wookie steak. It was a little chewy.
#155 This One’s a Real Dill
How do pickles enjoy a day out? They relish it.
#156 Spicy but extra curious
What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeno your business.
#157 Dessert with a mood swing
What do you call an upset brownie? A frownie.
#158 Salad’s saddest leftovers, honestly
What do you call those dead pieces of green stuff left in the bottom of a bowl of Caesar salad? The last romaines. Now lettuce pray for them.
#159 Some jokes just brine themselves
Two pickles fell out of the jar onto the floor. What did one pickle say to the other? Dill with it.
#160 Unexpected bathroom bandmate
What musical instrument is found in the bathroom? A tuba toothpaste.
#161 Stairs: The Ultimate Sneak Attack
I don’t trust stairs. They’re always up to something.
#162 Putting the “Wind” in Metal
Two windmills are standing in a field and one asks the other, “what kind of music do you like?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
#163 Award-winning dad joke energy
What kind of award did the dentist receive? A little plaque.
#164 Pointless, but they keep rolling
Do you want to know why I hate circles so much? They’re just so pointless, but I guess that’s how they roll.
#165 Photosynthesis, but make it romantic
What do you get when you give a plant kisses? Two lips.
#166 Trash talk turned life hack
Learning to collect trash wasn’t that hard. I just picked it up as I went along.
#167 Santa’s Not So Jolly Crowd
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claus-trophobic.
#168 Plot twist: thesaurus ran out of synonyms
I just bought a thesaurus from the book store, but when I got home all the pages were blank. There are no words to describe how angry I am.
#169 Pee-yew, that roast stings!
What did one toilet say to the other?
“You look flushed.”
#170 Still waiting for my debut in his brain
Today my son walked over and said “could I have a book mark”? I burst into tears. 11-years-old and he still doesn’t know my name is Brian.
#171 Beach day, but make it retro
What washes up on very small beaches? Microwaves.
#172 Flight goals: neverland edition
Why is Peter Pan always flying? He neverlands.
#173 That joke’s totally irrelephant
What did the elephant say when he stopped in the middle of telling a story? Never mind, I realize this is irrelephant.
#174 I Did Not See That Coming
A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, “wow I’ve never served a weasel before, what can I get you?” “Pop”, goes the weasel.
#175 Proof that puns never get old
“I’m no cheetah.” “You’re lion!”
#176 When You See It, You See It
A wife says to her husband that a moose is falling from the sky. The husband looks and says, it’s just reindeer.
#177 Low-key the cutest pun ever
What do you call two birds in love? Tweethearts.
#178 Caught Red-Flippered
Who stole the soap out of the bathtub? The robber ducky.
#179 Reporters Know Their Flavors
What was the reporter doing in the ice cream shop? Getting the scoop.
#180 Whispering? Not on this farm.
Why shouldn’t you tell a secret on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn have ears.
#181 Well, That Escalated Quickly
Did you hear about the circus fire? It was in tents.
#182 Classic playground logic
Why did the kid cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
#183 That pun just slayed me
How does a vampire start a letter? “Tomb it may concern…”
#184 Plant jokes never wilt
What did the big flower say to the little flower? “Hi bud.”
#185 Classic Dad Joke Energy
Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field.
#186 Ready to retreat like a pro
What do you a call a knight who afraid to fight? Sir Render.
#187 Classic dad joke energy
Why did Johnny throw his clock out of the window? Because he wanted to see time fly.
#188 Deadass cutest pun ever
What do you call a ghost’s true love? His ghoul-friend.
#189 Guess the Moon’s a Hotspot
Why couldn’t the astronaut book a hotel room on the moon? Because it was full.
#190 Vampires and Allergies, Who Knew?
What do you call Dracula with hayfever? The pollen count.
#191 Jurassic naps hit different
What sound does a sleeping T-Rex make? A dino-snore.
#192 Puck hogs, literally
Why can’t you play hockey with a pig? They always hog the pucks.
#193 Plot twist in progress
Why did the book join the police? He wanted to go undercover.
#194 Shell yeah, you did it
Have an egg-cellent day. I hope it’s eggs-tra good.
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