By the time I was 16, I was itching to get out of my parents’ house. I wanted freedom, independence and the opportunity to stay out past 10 p.m. without my mother threatening to call the police. I was counting down the days until my 18th birthday. And I did end up moving out shortly after, as I relocated to a completely new city for university. But I realize now that I was extremely lucky to have parents who would have never forced me out of the house if I wasn’t ready. Not everyone can say the same…
Netizens have been sharing stories of how their mothers and fathers pushed them out of the nest as soon as they became adults, so we’ve gathered some of their stories below. Keep reading to also find a conversation with psychologist Dr. Jack Stoltzfus, and be sure to upvote the stories that hit home for you.
#1
I left at 19 and my parents told all 4 of us girls that once we leave, we can never come back. And they’ve stuck to it. About 12 years ago my husband and I went through a rough patch and separated. I asked if me and our two children (they were 3 mo and 3 y/o at the time) could come stay and they told me no. I ended up staying with my aunt and uncle. My husband and I eventually mended things and i went back home but yeah, my kids know they will ALWAYS have a home to come to. I don’t care if they’re 15 or 50. Our door is always open to them ❤️.
Image source: Sweaty_Wash6550, lifestock
#2
For running away, sort of anyway, I used to live in a really small town so I had an hour bus ride to high school in a bigger town. Well, I missed a lot of school as my parents refused to drive me to school if I missed the bus. Yeah I could have gotten up earlier but I needed as much sleep as I could get, I basically raised my 5 younger siblings with a lot of help from my younger brother. That plus school and the process of having to deal with my adopted parents just sort of compounded into me grabbing my school stuff, looking my little brother in the eye and saying goodbye. I spent the next 3 hours walking to school, luckily I got picked up by an amazing lady from a nearby reserve. I got to school and everything was normal until the end of the day, my adoptive mother picked me up and dropped me off at the local police station. Told the officers I abused her and took advantage of the relationship and some other b******t. The cop was heartbroken by this situation, I could tell. He dropped me off an hour away in a much bigger cities drop-in center for homeless teenagers and such. I hate telling this story because it sounds so incredibly sad, and it was, but fear not anyone who actually read this far. Lucky for me a teacher who taught at the high school i went to was a foster parent and offered to take me in temporarily until I got back on my feet. Well, that’s my mom now and I can’t imagine life with out her guidance and wisdom. Life is fricken weird, yo.
Image source: HaramBe4any1else
#3
My mother had been regularly beating me up ever since I could remember. And I don’t mean a spanking. I mean with doorknobs, telephones and broken chairs. I was very close to my dad, even though he moved overseas, despite her efforts in trying to turn me against him and she didn’t appreciate it.
She kicked me out because I didn’t want to go to church. I was about 14 years old. She dragged me by my hair, threw me to the ground, put her knees on my ribs, forced her weight down on me and tried to suffocate me because I told her I wasn’t going to church because I didn’t believe in God.
Then after she convinced me to go because she beat the f**k out of me and I couldn’t win, when I got in the car and she started driving, she began taking off her rings and bracelets and I realized she wasn’t done beating me up. So I jumped out of the car, f****d myself up on the pavement, she backed up to tell me to get in the car again. I told her if she hit me one more time I would leave and she said “then leave” and drove off.
The thing is it was -32 outside. She expected me to be on her front lawn by the time she got back, but I wasn’t. Mostly because she was delusional to think that I would when I was finally free from her and obviously because even if I was that type of kid to do that, it was -32 outside. I walked to my school because it was the only place I knew to go to, but it was closed. A young couple saw me in front of the school, beat up and crying and took me to a Youth Shelter. There I found out she broke two of my ribs and my wrist was broken from throwing myself off the car. She was a court judge, so a couple of weeks later I was randomly picked up on the street coming back from school by off duty police officers. They cuffed me, put me in the back of the car and drove me to a psychiatric ward. There I found out she told people I was lying about what happened to me and I did those things to myself. She wanted to intimidate me showing that “she was the boss” and no one would believe me because she was a “good christian” and a judge.
Thankfully though, I was discharged within within 5 days, because the psychiatrists didn’t think I fit the diagnostic criteria for anything other than post traumatic stress disorder and agreed I should stay away from her. However, the social workers forced me to go to therapy because of the symptoms I was experiencing.
After that I spent most of my days afraid of walking the streets by myself because I thought she’d show up out of nowhere to beat me up. She even tried to have me arrested alleging that I tried to break into her house, when I couldn’t even take the train that was headed towards her neighborhood without having a panic attack.
Anyway, that’s what happened when she kicked me out. I haven’t spoken to her in over 10 years and don’t plan to and most importantly, do not miss her at all.
#4
My mom said I’m welcome home anytime or free to leave. Whatever i do, she’ll support me. She’s an immigrant as well and thinks americans are a*s backward for kicking kids out at 18. Says, “That’s why they end up dying alone in retirement homes.”.
Image source: Character-Sport-7710, freepik
#5
I have major depression that requires me to take medications to manage it. At the time though I was still undiagnosed and it was causing a strain on my dad’s relationship with his new girlfriend (both thought that I was just trying to get attention or something). Eventually he told me that he didn’t like me anymore and packed my belongings into a bag. The next couple years were pretty rough, in and out of the hospital because of the depression and an attempted s*****e. Tried to support myself but I couldn’t work. Ended up house sitting a Hell’s Angels grow op as a last resort to keep myself off the streets. Took a long time but eventually I managed to get enough stability that I could start building a life for myself.
Things are good now though. I put myself through university, got three degrees and now I have a career doing what I love.
#6
My parents are Jehovah’s Witnesses and found out I had a girlfriend that wasn’t in the cult and that’s a huge deal to them. I got kicked out at the very beginning of my senior year of high school at 17 years old. It all happened at the perfect time actually because they weren’t going to let me go to college, but now I am. I’m an engineering student at Penn State these days!
Image source: deeeeeetroit, Getty Images
#7
Got kicked out at 19 for coming home drunk all the time. My dad said he wouldn’t support me while I destroyed myself. I hated him at the time but looking back I see how f*****g stupid I was.
Image source: FlowSoSlow, MART PRODUCTION
#8
My kids are always welcome in my home, no matter how old they become!!
#9
My dad married a woman who wasn’t fond of him having kids. Gold digger type. I was 16 years old at the time. They told my sister and I that they were going to move away and it was time for us to grow up. They disappeared and I didn’t talk to them for years. Recently started talking again and all is forgiven. Also, I turned out pretty well for a kid alone at 16 and I owe every bit of what I have to the teachers in highschool that took me in, paid for field trips, and never let me quit.
Edit: This has gotten a lot of attention, I appreciate all the kind words. If you grew up with great parents, please take a moment out of your day and tell them that you love them and you appreciate them.
Image source: Donny-Thornberry, pixel-shot.com
#10
My 33yo son is still at home. WFH and is saving up to buy a van to travel. He pays us nothing, but when I got out of the hospital, he waited on me like a champ.
#11
I was kicked out of home so many times from the ages of about 14 onwards. My mother was a narcissist and I believe she honestly enjoyed seeing me in pain. She also enjoyed playing the whole “oh no my daughter has run away again” card even though I never ran away.
I was crashing at a friend’s house while in the middle of my high school certificate and she went to our principal and cried saying that I ran away and she felt helpless! But in reality, she kicked me out for no reason and I still have no idea why.
I wasn’t a bad kid. I had depression etc, but that was due to the abuse I went through. I was always terrified of what she would do next.
When I had my son at 19, she also kicked us out in the middle of winter with no where to go and I was stuck at a bus stop freezing with a baby. We hadn’t even had a fight or anything. She just randomly decided I need to get out.
She was just a cruel person and doesn’t deserve to be called my “mum”.
She did tonnes of cruel things over the years…I could go on and on but I won’t. She is no longer in my life now though…it’s better that way.
Image source: InternalNinja, EyeEm
#12
I came out of the closet to my mom(Divorced parents, had already told my dad, moved in with my mom for a few weeks to keep her company when her mother died), she didn’t like having an abomination under her roof. Suits me well, I already had an apartment waiting for me to just say yes.
Image source: Aedrian87, Max Harlynking
#13
It happened quite a few times. My mother cared more about her relationship with her second husband and their daughter that it was always my fault when anything happened in the house. The one that really sticks out to me is when I was already doing my own thing, about to wash my laundry, and thr laundry equipment was in the basement. My stepdad tried to push me down the stairs. So I dropped.my laundry basket in the kitchen and watched it go down the stairs. He tried to.push me again when I didn’t fall. I was 14, 5’5″ and 200 pounds of anger and hate for this man who’s spent 7 of my 14 years abusing me I’m every way he could. So I let the rage out and grabbed a 10″ Wusthof.chef’s knife off the fridge and was about 10 seconds away from a self defensive.m****r when my mother walks into the kitchen, just getting home from work. She then screams at me and tell me to get out. So I went to stay with my dad, who just didn’t really want to spend time with his kids, especially the one from the failed first marriage. So I stayed with his parents for a few weeks.
Same stepdad, at 16, made.me wash all the dishes from the week. Then rewash them again because they didn’t suit him. So I did. At this point I’ve been washing dishes for 3 hours, it’s an hour past my “bed time” and he then throws them on the floor and says they still don’t suit him. Tells me to wash them again, I said, “if you don’t like the way they’re done do it yourself.” That got me a 12 inch Calphalon non-stick skillet smacked into my head. That’s when my mom finally arrived home from her college classes to hear.me screaming about how I should have k****d myself years ago because obviously no one wants me around. That didn’t exactly get.me kicked out. It got me 3 times a week anger management for a few months. The psychologists never thought I had an anger problem or anything of the sort. I was pretty obviously dealing with depression.
F**k “family.” The ties that bind us are love and respect, not blood and genetics.
Image source: Abadatha, ayush kumar
#14
I served with two guys who were kicked out at 18. One turned 18 3 months before graduating high school and was kicked out. He lived with his aunt till he left for the military. Another left to the military at 17 and turned 18 while serving. Both never returned home turning their time in the military. They have only gone back 2 and 3 times since, and this was 24 years ago. They hate their parents and don’t let their kids anywhere near them.
Image source: babe_ruthless3, wirestock
#15
(Almost) straight A student. Lots of friends. Always did my chores. Dad was (is) and alcoholic, not so much that he would drink all the time, but when he would drink he got drunk. Well I was taking a couple ap classes. In one of them I had a 72 (still an A because of the curve, of which I was on the higher end). Got a 69 on a test, which brought my grade down do a 69 (still an A at this point). However the problem is that it doesn’t show that curve until the end of the semester, so according to the online grading message service my dad had, I had an f in the class. Tried explaining the curve to him over dinner, when he was drunk, and it ended up with him kicking me out.
I’m doing great now, but that’s because I worked hard and made smart decisions afterwards. Moral of the story is, don’t jump to conclusions and listen to your kids.
Image source: Strayed54321, freepik
#16
When I was 15 my best friend at the time was “trouble” as my mother put it. She turned up at our door in tears one night, her a*****e step dad had kicked her out and she had nowhere to go, she had walked about 5 miles in the freezing cold and pitch black to get to my house. My mother said no. I was absolutely shocked! I couldn’t believe she would leave a young girl out on the street like that. I couldn’t face leaving her alone so I said I would go with her and find her somewhere to stay. My Mum said “if you walk out now don’t bother coming back”. I went, she took my key and my bags were packed and on the doorstep the next morning. We were homeless together, sofa surfing and staying in hostels for over a month, I was still attending school as much as I could but it was really f*****g hard. We’re on better terms now but I still haven’t really gotten over it. I have a child now and I can’t imagine ever doing that.
Obviously my side is a little biased, may I add for context that I was an absolute little s**t!
Image source: Nixie-trixie, freepik
#17
My family is from Argentina, I was born in the United States. I lived CA and FL and both places I had friends growing up that were charged rent or kicked out because they didn’t want to pay rent. I’ll get downvoted for this but I’m talking strictly from observational experience, it was only my white friends whose parents were charging them rent.
When I moved out because I wanted to my mom cried, in Argentina it’s common to only move out when you are ready to have a family of your own.
I don’t understand how parents can charge their kids rent. It’s one thing if it’s a small amount to teach them financial responsibility but I’m not talking about that. In my theory I think it’s financially motivated because mom and dad got too comfortable with the credit card, racked up debt and want to justify shaking their kid down for money.
#18
I was bi, they were Catholic.
I was also adopted, so they didn’t want my demons to infect their ‘real’ daughter.
They tried to send me back after they had her.
A week after my 17th birthday, they kicked me out when I wanted to study sciences and maths instead of the ‘proper’ things for girls, like nursery nurse etc.
Image source: Lil-Lanata, user20119892
#19
Most of us don’t 🤷🏼♀️. My 20 and 18 year old sons live at home still, and likely will through college, and potentially longer based on the job and housing market. The same was true for both myself and my partner when we were younger. I didn’t move out of my childhood house until I moved in with my husband actually.
Image source: tootallblonde, freepik
#20
Well I wasn’t quite a kid. But a couple months after I graduated high school, despite having epilepsy, I thought it was a good idea to try shrooms. Long story short, ended up in the hospital having seizures. I was then kicked out and lived in my car for a couple months before some friends took me in. Took me 6 months and 5 different people letting me couch hop or stay with them to get on my feet and get my life going. In hindsight I guess getting kicked out forced me to grow up.
Image source: BEND_OVER_NO_LUBE, freepik
#21
My mom was a hardcore alkie from the time I was…Maybe 9? To the time I was 16. She got herself shipped off to mega-rehab when I was 16 (full six months!), and during that period I bullied her sister (my then legal-guardian) to support me in emancipation proceedings. I had a feeling this was a thing I needed.
So, my mom comes back, and miracle of miracles, she stays sober. Yaaaay!
But then she starts trying to be my *mother*. Starts trying to tell me what to *do*.
Now, at this point in my life, I had been taking care of her for a long time. I had been working to mitigate her s****y life decisions, and working to keep those same decisions from ruining my f*****g life.
Having her…This f*****g alcoholic b***h that had basically made my life a living HELL for 7 years…Having her tell me I couldn’t do what I wanted…Was unacceptable.
She’s like, “You can’t stay out late on a school night!”
And I’m like, “It’s called a ‘job’. Deal. With. It.”
Yea. It didn’t take long for her to throw me out. She couldn’t handle me being independent, and though I tried to avoid playing my aces, every time she tried to throw down a maternal ultimatum, I’d come back with chapter and verse on s**t that I’d pulled her through, and she could. Not. Stand. That.
We were much better friends when we were not roomies.
#22
I was an absolute nightmare to raise. I fought my parents on everything, and broke every rule they gave me. When I turned 16 they emancipated me and told me to leave.
I found a couple other’s my age that were emancipated and stayed with one of them for about a month. Eventually I moved in with my girlfriend, who I married when I turned 18. We got divorced 5 years later.
I get along decently with both my parents (who divorced shortly after tossing me out) and am now remarried. I made a c**p-load of mistakes, and brought it all on myself. But I do think I’m a better person now because of those lessons than I would have been staying with them. Eventually I would have done something big and ended up behind bars.
#23
I secretly got my belly button pierced at 14, apparently it makes me a pr**titute..? Toxic place to live anyway.
Image source: Demitramiky, EyeEm
#24
My dad was convinced all of my teachers / school officials were out to get me and ruin my life in particular so he signed me out of school after my junior year. Told me I was either going to take my GED test and go to the college he wanted, take the classes he wanted for the major he wanted, or I was, quote unquote, dead to him. I decided I wanted to go to school and graduate with my friends, so I ratted him out to my mom (who’d also kicked me out previously for being unhappy with her constantly misgendering me, but that’s a diff long story) and she enrolled me back in. When he found out he cut me off and took me off my antidepressants. Suddenly, getting up in the morning and going to school was a lot f*****g harder, so he took that as him being right and kept ranting at me about what an idiot I was and how I was a lazy failure who’d never get anywhere. Once I finished high school I told him to f**k himself and out the door I went c:.
Image source: hartIey, Wavebreak Media
#25
All of my sisters were “kicked out or decided to leave before the age of 18”. Physical fighting that was provoked and started by my drunken step mom. I left at 16 due to her.
Reasons that caused one of my sisters to get kicked out: Smoking weed, drinking, fighting, and throwing parties. (Even though my stepmothers son definitely did worse).
Do they regret it? Well they are alone now and don’t have family to come visit them. They are still self centered drunks. I think in their old age they will realize what amazing opportunity they had to build a close knit family and absolutely failed due to their alcohol issues and inability to bond with others due to consistently working on themselves rather than the family as a whole. It’s kind of sad when you have 5 children and no one wants to come visit you.
As for me, I cut them off. They are the toxic ones. (Example: Not even calling or coming to see me on my Nursing graduation day and when I brought it up they said “Well its just a milestone not a Bachelors degree”
Image source: headietoinfinity, freepik
#26
My mother was on d***s, and we’d either move from man to man as she slept with them for room and board and d***s, or they’d come in and sleep with her for money and d***s.
I did not like one of them, or how he looked at my sister.
We butted heads and it was clear that she liked him more than she did us. So I swung at him one day and got booted on my a*s with the clothes on my back and nothing else. I was 13. Luckily I could move in with my dad, and I was there until 18, joined the Navy, broke my ankle and separated, met a Navy vet who helped me get into college and turn my life around. I’m 28 now and still in college, but I couldn’t get aid until 25 outside of him spotting me for a semester if I did paperwork for him on my weekends when I wasn’t working while he was building his business.
Image source: QaraKha, freepik
#27
My mother was a narcissist; I had a lot of health problems that were taking attention off of her. She told me one day that I was causing more problems than I was solving and I had a week to get out of her house or k**l myself.
She made sure to tell me that she would prefer it if I left because if I k****d myself she couldn’t collect on my life insurance policies.
Image source: alchemicals, EyeEm
#28
I was kicked out at 16 for getting a girl pregnant. Way to go mom. Leave me high and dry in the most needy moment of my life.
But I overcame and emerged a better person for it.
#29
Didn’t get kicked “out” of the house, my father moved out. Tldr at the end
I was about 19 or 20 years old when it happened, 2 or 4 semesters into college. Dad was having a lot of trouble keeping a job. Around that time he had a major career shift, went to culinary school, and hated every restaurant position he found. With no income coming in I luckily found a job at a small diner nearby the campus (I had to walk everywhere since I had no vehicle or drivers license). He refused to allow me to help pay bills, too proud. My mother lived in the next state over about 350 miles away, living almost equally as broke. So she couldn’t help even if he’d allow it. His turn-around between jobs grew shorter and shorter. He became more depressed, barely left the apartment, we barely had anything to eat. Twas bad, mkay.
A little after Christmas his sister-in-law, my aunt, found him a small job in the town they live in, in another state, with his parents, my grandparents. He would be moving there and start his new job in 4 months time. 550 miles away. Never once ran it by me before making his decision. Didn’t ask if I could move with him (which was going to be a “no” anyway because I was still in college on state scholarships). Didn’t help in the slightest with preparing me for living on my own. Didn’t help find a better job to afford living on my own. No one in the family asked for my opinion, or offered to help me financially or emotionally at all during the process. Our family did everything they could to make sure he could get back on his feet. While I got a check for 25$ which each Catholic Christmas card they sent.
It’s been 5 years and I thank my lucky stars I made it out alive. Got a good job, a decent apartment, a college degree, and a bamboo plant.
Tldr; Father couldn’t keep a job due to mid-life crisis, family helped find him a job 550 miles away leaving me stranded.
Image source: Numeral13, freepik
#30
They gave me a curfew. I couldn’t be restricted. They told me “if you don’t come home by 10, then we don’t want you here” so I didn’t go home. They called me 3 days later like, “wya?” Just a stupid rebellious 16 year old.
Image source: alexTACOpal, Kindel Media
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