Being kind, treating others with dignity, and respecting others’ boundaries—this sounds like common sense to many people. It’s how any civil and self-confident individual ought to behave. Unfortunately, common sense is in short supply at times… as is basic politeness.
One internet user asked the men of the r/AskReddit online community to open up and share the obvious red flags that they’ve noticed in other men. The question started an in-depth discussion about toxic masculinity, and we’ve collected some of the most egregious examples of it. Scroll down for a crash course on how to never treat other human beings.
#1
Being a modern day Republican in the US. If he votes in favor of diminishing human rights, how do you think your relationship will go? Does he truly respect women if he is Ok with the removal of bodily autonomy? Will he respect your future kids if they are homosexual or transgender? I get that people change, but I would never set a girlfriend of mine up with someone I know to be republican.
Image source: TheLazyLardon
#2
Using terms like Alpha, Beta and Sigma unironically.
Image source: Scout_Puppy
#3
I really dislike men who start lusting and talking about a woman’s a*s, breasts, etc. to me, trying to get me to agree. (And they’d assume that I would, since I’m a guy as well.)
Some people just can’t keep those thoughts to themselves.
Edit: I really appreciate how I am not alone on this. Sometimes it feels like I am, since those perverts are often the loudest.
Image source: buckyhermit, Helena Lopes
#4
“Women don’t like good guys like me”
Good guys don’t have to self assure themselves that they are good guys.
Image source: imsrslysrs
#5
Random guys I meet through work showing me nudes a girl has sent them.
Like seriously, those aren’t meant to be shared.
Image source: sucks-fake, Luis Villasmil
#6
Men who can joke about others but can’t take it.
(Can be applied to women too)
Image source: SuvenPan
#7
If you hear a little voice inside you that says “I can change this man”, he is not the man for you.
Image source: PowellGrover, JJ Jordan
#8
Bartender here…
– They don’t respond well to the word “no”
– They argue for no other reason than to maintain their ego
– They use staring as a flirting technique
– They talk over you in conversation
– They get wildly uncomfortable when their partner is casually talking to somebody else in a public place
– They order Fireball, Hennessy, Patron, or a Long Island
– “What’s the strongest you got bro?”
– Flashing money
Image source: lostigre, Elvis Ray
#9
By remarkable coincidence, all their exes were ‘crazy.’
Image source: changelingcd
#10
Thinking their entitled to a GF just because they’re a male
Image source: lwaties, cottonbro studio
#11
Being unable to control their temper.
Image source: tubadude123, Andrea Piacquadio
#12
I look at how a man treats ‘unattractive’ women and other men, especially in places like restaurants.
It’s all well and good if he’s polite and nice towards a waitress who’s attractive but try pay closer attention to how he treats those he doesn’t see in that same way and see if you can spot a stark difference!
Image source: N1cole_Nurko
#13
Believe me, I’m a nice guy.
Image source: PrometheusHasFallen, cottonbro studio
#14
Talking about how many women they’ve shagged without being asked.
Describing a woman like a piece of meat rather than just saying “she’s nice/hot” i.e “look at the tits on that” or “love to tap that a*s”
Always wanting to get shitfaced when out rather than just have a few drinks.
Getting into fights.
Image source: themorganator4, Donovan Grabowski
#15
Constantly s**t talking their wife or girlfriend. Always saying how horrible they are and such a b***h. Then I finally meet them at a get together or something and they are always nice. The guy will act completely different around her also, “yes dear” type of s**t. Then back at work the next day s**t talking her. Grow the f**k up
Image source: Viking-16
#16
Consistent lack of personal hygiene
Image source: ClaymoresRevenge, Michael Kucharski
#17
Going out with younger women with a large age gap. It suggests to me that they like control and manipulation and compliance.
Image source: ImpossibleLoss1148
#18
Routinely acting like a pouty manbaby.
We all have bad days, but I’d steer clear of the guys who very frequently have sour tempers and are very quick to anger. That’s the type of guy who will hit you, punch holes in the wall, drink and drive after every fight, etc
Image source: drinks2muchcoffee, Usman Yousaf
#19
Never apologizing
Image source: ZeldaBaahir
#20
I had a friend who I confronted for cheating on his wife. He said it’s a part of his culture and his people do it all the time. He’s no longer my friend.
Image source: charcoallition
#21
Calling women “bitches”, and not in the sense of “she’s being a b***h” but in the general sense as if “b***h” is a synonym for “woman”.
Image source: masonben84
#22
Suddenly flying off the handle at a minor inconvenience. It’s one thing to stub your toe at the end of a bad day and give the table a whack. It’s another if every moment of stress or misfortune triggers rage.
Image source: Birs1941, Yan Krukau
#23
Using phrases like “do you know who I am?”
Constantly talking about themselves and how desirable they are (to women, recruiters, hiring managers, etc)
*Only* being nice to certain groups of people (women, leaders, minorities, white people, etc)
Image source: gibson85
#24
Quotes Joe Rogan/ Andrew Tate etc. regulary.
Image source: Material_Ambition_95
#25
Trying to flirt with friend’s girlfriend.
Image source: SuvenPan, cottonbro studio
#26
Proclaiming they are an alpha male and treat women like objects instead of people.
Image source: IronLordSamus
#27
Any man who talks about things like “the natural order” or “the natural hierarchy” is probably an a*****e. Nature is an unruly bush, not a “hierarchy”. People who speak of “the natural order” are usually promoting something much darker than that, and they use the concept of “the natural order” as their excuse.
Image source: Bizarre_Protuberance
#28
When they blame all their problems on women.
Image source: acromantulus
#29
Trying to break your hand with the handshake when they meet you.
I prefer a firm handshake, but when they’re squeezing so hard you can feel your bones and tendons move and your hand hurts afterward, that’s just ridiculous. It’s just machismo b******t to exert dominance by way of physical pain.
Last guy that did it to me (it was at work) I just straight called him out right there. “Oh, so youre one of those hard handshake guys? Why do you do that?” As I shake the pain out of my hand. Was a very awkward professional relationship afterward but he never f****d with me.
Image source: Forbidden_Donut503
#30
When you handshake and he forcefully twists his hand on top and yours on bottom.
I instantly don’t trust him
Image source: tjn182
#31
Can’t have a good time without alcohol.
Image source: blazer243
#32
Throwing their friends under the bus when women are around. Really struggled to deal with guys I thought were my friends doing this when I was younger. It’s like a switch goes off in them when attractive women are around and all bets are off.
Also not making an effort to be friends or even just nice be to people that don’t have anything to offer them. There are plenty of guys at my job that only talk to guys their age or attractive women, like if they can’t hangout or date them they’re not worth interacting with.
Image source: TasteIntelligent1328
#33
The three F’s will earn an F from me if all they talk about is fighting, fornicating, and frustrations.
I want nothing from their friendships.
Have a life, you’re a lot more interesting if you do things. Because if you do things, you have things to talk about, to relate with, and experiences to share.
Again… have a life, be able to tell a story.
Image source: bristolbulldog, MARK ADRIANE
#34
Just being an a*****e at the gym. How bout you don’t stand 4 inches away from me talking with your friends?
Image source: Tell_meThings, Jonathan Borba
#35
Clenched jaw and crossed arms. If you’re showing me intimidation signals I’m going to ignore you until you go away.
Image source: SuperstitiousPigeon5, LoboStudio Hamburg
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