Have you ever felt like your different from everyone? Like you stand out like a sore thumb in a room full of people.
My earliest memory is of the orphanage I grew up in. I remember it being filthy. You walk into the room and each side has a long wooden bench that the kids sat in. When I saw the big kids all I can remember is how empty they felt. As a young child, I could see they had looked like there was no life to them like they were just floating through life. In front of the room, there was this small tube t.v. we would gather around to watch X-Files every night. In another room, there is what is called the nursery. This room was filled with white metal cribs that were meshed together to fit as many cribs as you could. I remember seeing this baby constantly crying with dirt and filth all over it.
Every day there were a lot of kids around me. We all felt the same thing; numb. There was this room that terrified me as a child. It was the room that was pure cement floor to ceiling. It was light by a hanging bulb from the ceiling that barely lit. On the floor in the corner, there was a hole and these large footprints that you squatted to use the bathroom. Then across from the hole was this clawfoot metal tub that was worn down with a hose connected to it. Every once a week we had our “showers” which consisted of us all lining up single files to get hosed off. Each one of us would get hosed off for about a minute and that was considered “cleaned”. We then wore these striped raggedy pajamas that were our everyday wear. When we ate, we were all crammed into this room where we were consistently fed rice soup and a slice of bread.
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