Music is as old as humankind itself, and so are puns. At least, we believe so. With what else could one have occupied their minds when scavenging for food some 60,000 years ago if not by annoying their hunting partners with puns or humming a repetitive tune? And, at one time, both of these pastimes merged into one, and thus we have musical puns – a marriage made in heaven.
And you know what? We had so much fun searching for the best puns to include in our Liszt that we would just love to come Bach to the beginning of our search and do it all again! However, we can’t Haydn the jokes that we’ve found anymore, so it’s time to share the funniest puns with you. So, scroll down below and check them out for yourself, if you can Handel the hilarity!
And since a big chunk of our musical puns is dedicated to the Classics, we just couldn’t miss a chance to talk to Kamilė Kubiliūtė – a professional violinist at the Philharmonie Salzburg (Austria) orchestra. She has kindly spoken to us about the life of a violinist and classical music, so be sure to read her answers below!
#1
What concert costs 45 cents?
50 Cent featuring Nickelback
#2
Why shouldn’t you let kids watch big band performances on TV?
Too much sax and violins
#3
My neighbors are listening to great music. Whether they like it or not.
#4
C, E-flat, and G walk into a bar.
The bartender shows them the door and says, “Sorry, we don’t serve minors”
#5
What is Beethoven doing now?
De-composing
#6
My girlfriend left me because of my obsession with Linkin Park.
But in the end, it doesn’t even matter.
#7
A sign at a music shop: “Gone Chopin. Bach in a minuet.”
#8
What’s the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?
14-inch pizza can feed a family of four
#9
Why can’t skeletons play church music?
Because they have no organs
#10
How many indie hipsters does it take to change a light bulb?
It’s an obscure number, you probably haven’t heard it
#11
What do call a guitar player without a girlfriend?
Homeless
#12
How are trumpets like pirates?
They both murder in the high C’s
#13
Why do bagpipe players walk while they play?
To get away from the noise
#14
What is a Jehovah’s Witness’ favorite band?
The Doors
#15
The biggest difference between the Super Bowl and the Grammys.
The Eagles have won a Grammy
#16
What kind of music are balloons afraid of?
Pop Music
#17
What rock group never sings?
Mount Rushmore
#18
What’s the first thing a musician says at work?
“Would you like fries with that?”
#19
What do you call a gingerbread man with one leg bitten off?
Limp Bizkit
#20
Why shouldn’t you trust string instruments?
They can be lyres
#21
What is a mummy’s favorite kind of music?
Rap
#22
What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist’s arm?
A tattoo
#23
What do you get when you drop a piano down a mineshaft?
A-flat minor
#24
What’s a golf clubs favorite type of music?
Swing
#25
How do you fix a broken tuba?
With a tuba glue
#26
There are so many jokes about classical composers I could write you a Liszt
#27
Wanna hear a joke about a staccato?
Never mind, it’s too short
#28
What do you call a pianist who throws trash everywhere?
Litterachi
#29
Where did the music teacher leave her keys?
In the piano
#30
What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?
He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it
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