We’ve all heard the phrase “Life isn’t fair,” but sometimes, life hits us with these little family plot twists that make us do a double-take. Imagine dedicating decades of love, care, and even financial support to your parent, and then finding out that your lifelong efforts might not land you quite the reward you expected.
This is the case that has left the husband of today’s Original Poster (OP) confused. Noting that her husband has been by his mother’s side for years, supporting her and her late husband in more ways than most could imagine, she was left baffled when she heard her mother-in-law’s inheritance plan.
More info: Mumsnet
They say family is everything until inheritance gets involved, especially if you’ve spent decades caring for your parents
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The author notes that her husband consistently visits his mother weekly and helps with shopping, showing decades of devotion
Image credits: butterfingers55
Image credits: drobotdean / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Her husband also previously paid his parents’ mortgage while his father was ill, without reimbursement, purely out of care
Image credits: butterfingers55
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
While speaking with her mother-in-law, she mentioned that she’d decided to leave half her flat to her granddaughter and the other half to the husband
Image credits: butterfingers55
This then left OP feeling sad and puzzled by this decision, though her husband remains understanding and continues being a devoted son
The OP’s husband consistently prioritizes his mother, from visiting her weekly without fail to even helping with her shopping. Even though she’s in her early 80s, fit, and independent, he just insists on being there. Beyond the weekly visits, he also once took on the responsibility of paying his parents’ mortgage when his father was ill.
Unlike many stories of parental gratitude, he never received reimbursement for these efforts, yet he remained content to help. However, one day, the OP was speaking with her mother-in-law and mentioned the fact that her husband didn’t have a pension. In response to that, the mother-in-law stated that she would be leaving half of her flat to him.
As for the other half, she said she would be leaving it to his niece. This came despite the niece already receiving financial assistance from the mother-in-law, including contributions toward a car, house deposit, and debt payments. This bothered the OP because her husband had never received such from his mother.
The OP made sure to note that her husband wasn’t upset, as he continues to show unwavering care. For her, however, the inheritance decision feels off-balance.
Image credits: EyeEm / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The OP noting that her husband was doing all of these things without necessarily expecting anything back is important. Trust & Will highlight that this is referred to as filial responsibility, which is a duty, sometimes legally required, of adult children to care for and financially support their elderly or needy parents.
Building on this, Henssler Financial explains that through filial responsibility, many adult children often provide ongoing financial support to their aging parents, often at the expense of their own savings and retirement planning and creating a hidden strain on the adult children’s long-term financial security.
Still, there is such a thing as altruistic filial behavior, which Verywell Mind defines as the voluntary efforts adult children make to support aging parents or family members without expecting anything in return, regardless of how much they have done or given.
They state that such behavior is rooted in altruism, where the primary motivation is the well-being of others rather than personal gain, highlighting the selfless commitment many adult children show toward their parents, as in the case of the OP’s husband.
Netizens felt that the mother-in-law’s decision to leave half her estate to her granddaughter is completely reasonable and normal. They emphasized that inheritance often passes to a deceased child’s children, and that the son receiving half is already generous, and also reminded the OP that it’s ultimately her mother-in-law’s choice.
Do you agree with netizens who say it’s fair, or do you see it differently? We would love to know your thoughts!
Netizens called the author out for being entitled, insisting her mother-in-law wasn’t being unfair for wanting to leave something to her granddaughter
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