Getting married isn’t something to be taken lightly, and once you are, you’re expected to follow through on your wedding vows, like “in sickness and in health.” Turning your back on the promises you made on your big day is the ultimate form of flaking out.
One woman has turned to an online community to vent after her friend’s slacker husband tried weaseling his way out of caring for his wife post-surgery and roping her in to do it instead. Fuming, she asked netizens if she should tell her friend about it.
More info: Reddit
Marriage vows are meant to mean something, but not all spouses follow through on their promises
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One woman’s friend was about to have surgery that would leave her out of action for about 8 weeks afterward
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The woman was concerned that her friend’s notoriously lazy husband wouldn’t be up to the task, and it didn’t take long before her worst fears were confirmed
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The husband shamelessly asked the woman if she would take care of his wife on the very first day after her surgery, all so that he could hang out with his friends
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Image credits: Nini FromParis / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
The woman point-blank refused, then turned to an online community to ask netizens whether or not she should tell her friend about the husband’s ridiculous request
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
In an update to her original post, the woman said the hopeless husband had told his wife he’d asked her to “babysit” her, and it didn’t go down well
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The woman told her friend she would be there for her if she needed, but she wasn’t about to drop everything to help the lazy husband slack off
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In yet another update, the woman said her friend’s surgery had gone well and that, for the time being at least, the husband had actually stepped up to the plate
When the original poster (OP) found out her best friend was about to have major surgery, she promised to be there every step of the way. But she wasn’t so sure about her friend’s husband, a guy who preferred “comfort and fun” over responsibility and consideration for other people. Her gut told her he’d fail the moment things got difficult.
Sure enough, before the surgery even happened, the husband asked if she could “cover” for him the very next day. Why? So he could hang out with friends. Furious, OP refused. She didn’t want to enable him or let him dodge his duty. It was day one of recovery, after all.
But before she could even decide whether to tell her friend, he told on himself. The husband admitted he’d asked her to “babysit” his recovering wife. Shocked and hurt, the woman confronted him, only for him to shrug it off. Her disappointment was clear: he really just didn’t get it.
Thankfully, the surgery went well, and at first, things seemed promising. The usually hopeless husband was attentive, supportive, even “holding strong.” But it didn’t last. By Sunday night, his “care” was slipping again. He was working from home but was already trying to sneak out of responsibilities like it was a chore.
Now, everyone’s watching to see whether he’ll step up or check out. For his wife, her recovery isn’t just about healing physically; it’s about realizing who’s really in her corner when things get hard. OP says she’s talked about leaving the extremely imbalanced relationship before, but she doubts it’ll ever happen.
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From what OP tells us, her friend appears to be stuck in a marriage that’s extremely one-sided. The fact that her husband is so quick to forget his marriage vows is, how should we put it, worrying, to say the least. But just what do you do with a husband that’s epically lazy? We went looking for answers.
The folks over at MarriageHelper say that most of the time, when people appear to be lazy, it’s likely because there’s something deeper going on—things like depression, pain, anger, physical issues, and even trauma. But being yelled at makes it worse. It’s up to you, as their spouse, to be the voice of hope and encouragement.
Marriage.com offers some amazing tips and tricks to help you cope with a husband who’s not exactly pulling his weight. A few of the most useful include having an open and honest conversation about how his laziness affects you and the household, setting clear expectations, using positive reinforcement, and involving him in decision-making.
While OP’s friend can try these lazy hubby hacks, perhaps it could also be a good idea to remind him of his original commitments to her. The pros at Brides.com say that whether you’ve been married for a year, a decade, or half a century, a vow renewal can be a stunning way to honor the bond you and your spouse share.
Often, couples choose to renew their vows after overcoming an obstacle that challenged the relationship, like an illness or personal hurdle, or when they’re in a financial position to throw the party they couldn’t afford to in the past. Whatever the reason, perhaps it’ll snap OP’s friend’s husband out of his stupor and get his head back in the game.
What do you think? Is OP’s friend’s hubby a lost cause, or is there hope for him yet? Share your thoughts in the comments!
In the comments, readers slammed the hopeless husband for being such a jerk, and some even called him a shrug in human form
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