O noble fowl, thine flight is envy, thou watchest us with beady eyes from skies we’ll never reach! Thine ancestors are mega reptiles, and always thou shall soar! The heights thou reach are stars themselves, and we are but the measly worms. And jokes, and puns, o royal bird, however many thou shall like! We’ll dedicate a post to you, just so you’d let us fly! See, even the most cliche-inspired writer can turn into Shakespeare when the topic is birds, and more so if the subject is bird puns. So, as you’ve probably guessed by now, the next installment in our Puns For Everyone series is dedicated to sky roamers of all sizes, and it turns out it’s quite a fertile ground for probably the best puns ever.
It would’ve been such a faux pas to miss this subject for clever puns entirely, so before bad turns to worse, we are granting an apology to feathered animals for not including them on our rooster earlier. However, we did our best soaring through the internet for the best puns on birds, and we do sincerely hope that both you and all of the Pica pica’s and Turdus maximus’ of this planet will enjoy our selection. And of course, no chicken and no parrot are left unmentioned in these cute puns, so whichever fowl you fancy the most will be included in this list of funny bird puns.
You know the rest – the puns are just a crow’s flight below under this text, and they are eagerly waiting to be read by you. So, once you are done, vote for the silly puns that ruffled your feathers, and share this article with your friends!
#1
Why should you avoid buying a funny chicken? It may end up roasting you.
#2
What’s the best way to avoid getting bird flu? Getting emu-nized.
#3
Which bird roasts you? A mockingbird.
#4
How do birds on a wire start a relationship? They meet online.
#5
Why is it hard to tell deceased birds apart? They’re dead wingers.
#6
What type of books do owls like? Hoot-dunnits.
#7
Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the mud, then cross the road again? He was a dirty double crosser.
#8
What did the duck say when he dropped the dishes?
“I hope I didn’t quack any.”
#9
My favorite dance is the Chicken Dance. It’s poultry in motion!
#10
What happened to the bird who was too big to fit in with the flock? He was ostrich-sized.
#11
Why do hummingbirds hum? Because they don’t know the words.
#12
What type of bird works at a building site? A crane.
#13
What kind of bird doesn’t need a comb? A bald eagle.
#14
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!
#15
What did the police rooster do to the thieving chickens? He apre-hen-ded them.
#16
What do you say when a turkey is irritating you? Go pluck yourself.
#17
Where do you go if you want to swop birds? The stork exchange.
#18
A proper tweetment is the only solution for a sick bird’s great recovery.
#19
Mozart sold all his chickens. He said they kept yelling ‘Bach Bach’ all the time.
#20
Which birds are always depressed? Bluebirds.
#21
What do you get if you kiss a bird? A peck on the cheek.
#22
The owls had a birthday party the other night and it all sounded like a hoot.
#23
Telling bird puns is usually harmless, but when you start mocking birds, things can quickly get unpheasant and hawkward.
#24
I once saw a bird get so stork raven mad, he flew off the handle.
#25
My friend tried to convince me that there’s a bird that can’t fly but can run faster than a human. But that sounds like a bit of ostrich, don’t you think?
#26
Someone’s been robin local banks lately. Will you help us quack the case?
#27
Why don’t ducks like going to doctors? They’re a bunch of quacks.
#28
Who is the one bird who doesn’t like tweeting? Mark Zuckerbird.
#29
Which bird makes you laugh? A comedi-hen.
#30
Why did the rooster hang around the henhouse? To pick up chicks.
#31
What kind of bird is the cleanest? Dove.
#32
What is a female bird’s favorite thing to read? Cawsmopolitan.
#33
Even during the hardest of times, the warrior bird says, “Owl not give up.”
#34
I’m hooting for you.
#35
When should you buy a bird? When it goes cheep.
#36
What’s it called when it’s raining ducks and geese? Fowl weather.
#37
Where do birds invest their money? In the stork market.
#38
What did the bird say when he forgot to revise for his test?
“I’ll just wing it.”
#39
How does a bird with a broken wing land safely? With its sparrow chute.
#40
What’s a parrot’s favorite game? Hide and speak.
#41
What bird film won an Oscar? Lord of the Wings.
#42
Why did the bird get into trouble at school? Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
#43
What type of maths do owls like? Owlgebra.
#44
What’s the difference between a fly and a bird? A bird can fly, but a fly can’t bird.
#45
What bird is an MMA fighter? Conure McGregor.
#46
What do you get if you cross a parrot with a centipede? A walkie talkie!
#47
Why did the crow refuse to go home from the nightclub? Because he was raven.
#48
What do you name a synthetic parrot? PollyEster.
#49
What kind of bird works underground? A Mynah bird.
#50
What do you call a funny parrot spoof? A parody.
#51
The vet said I have chirpees. Good news – it is tweet-able.
#52
Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole? He wanted to make a long-distance caw.
#53
What language do geese speak? Porchageese.
#54
What do we call a bird that wins all spelling bees? Mr. Know it Owl.
#55
Why are parrots not allowed in planes in the Middle East? They sometimes use fowl language.
#56
What was the name of the movie again? “Breaking bird”?
#57
Which movie had Duck Vader as its hero?
#58
What do you call a woodpecker with no beak? A headbanger.
#59
What are you doing keeping a sick bird in your house? Don’t you know that’s ill eagle?
#60
Would you mind watching my pet parrot while I’m out, as long as it’s not too much of a birden?
#61
My bird puns are so funny, people can’t stop raven about them.
#62
Did you hear the one about the woodpecker who found some really firm bark? It was im-peck-able.
#63
Why was Donald Jaybird Trump knocked off his perch? He tweeted too much.
#64
Why didn’t Birdie Sanders become president? He was too left-wing.
#65
Where do crows go for a drink? A crowbar.
#66
What happened to the chickens after they got arrested? They became jail birds.
#67
Why do Spanish ducks struggle in Lisbon? They can’t speak Portu-geese.
#68
What does it sound like when the chickens make a noise? Clucking terrible.
#69
What was the dad bird annoyed with his lazy chick? It wouldn’t leave the nest.
#70
Once a bird became a comedian. He was called Jay Leno.
#71
Don’t worry if a bird has a bad wing; it can use a sparrowchute.
#72
If birds were to run the Church, the Cardinals would sure take the lead out there.
#73
Quack the case.
#74
Crowing, crowing, gone.
#75
Season’s tweetings.
#76
Bird puns fly right over my head.
#77
What do birds like to put in their soup? Crow-tons.
#78
How do chickens get strong? They do eggs-ercise.
#79
Where do royal birds live? Duckingham Palace.
#80
What do owls sing when it rains? Too wet to woo.
#81
What did the ill chicken say? I’ve got people-pox!
#82
Why did the bird fly into the library? Because he was looking for bookworms.
#83
Where do ducks go when they are sick? To the duck-tor.
#84
What’s a bird’s favorite game? Beakaboo.
#85
What bird can you buy at the grocery store? A kiwi.
#86
Which bird is always out of breath? A puffin.
#87
Why did the pelican get kicked out of the restaurant? Because he had a very big bill.
#88
What bird is helpful at mealtimes? A swallow.
#89
What do you call a duck who’s always telling jokes? A wise quacker.
#90
I heard a story about a bird that hides its head in the sand when it gets scared. It’s a bit of an ostrich.
#91
What’s the difference between one parrot and two? One parrot can’t carry a coconut, but toucan.
#92
I was going to save you a fish. But you weren’t heron time.
#93
They were raven about their influence on Tik Tok. It was a lie!
#94
Does Larry Bird still play basketball?
#95
What did the bluebird say to her boyfriend? I have been thinking about you the owl time.
#96
She went to the market to get soap but was disappointed that the shop owners no longer stock dove.
#97
What should the name of a parrot that flew away be? A Polly-gone.
#98
You pelican, not pelican’t.
#99
Let’s flamingle.
#100
Watching chicks hatch is so eggs-sighting!
#101
Turkeys are terrible batters—they always hit fowl balls, and keep getting tagged out at first baste!
#102
There are a couple of ducks in my office who never get any work done and are always causing mischief. It’s gotten so bad, I overheard the boss say something about “firequackers.”
#103
These corny bird puns might have made you groan… but I have no egrets.
#104
Did you hear about the grumpy owl with an upset stomach? He had irritable owl syndrome.
#105
Why didn’t the goose believe everything she heard? It was all propa-gander.
#106
Why did the turkey lie down in the roasting pan and pour butter over itself? It was self-basting.
#107
Better luck nest time.
#108
Toucan play at this game.
#109
That’s hawkward.
#110
I hope you find our puns emu-sing.
#111
If you happen to get a crate of ducks, you will be lucky to call them a box of quackers.
#112
Happy bird-day to you.
#113
Caw me on my cellphone.
#114
I’m feeling emu-tional.
#115
You’re so tweet.
#116
Fowl play.
#117
What do you call a parrot that flew away? A polygon.
#118
What do you call an owl who’s all mixed up? Low.
#119
What does a cat call a hummingbird? Fast food.
#120
What has webbed feet and fangs? Count Duckula.
#121
What do chickens do on sunny afternoons? They have peck-nics.
#122
What sport do hawks like? Hawckey.
#123
What do you call a parrot that won’t eat? A Polly-no-meal.
#124
What did the pigeon say after its friend landed a sick flip? Coo.
#125
Her new boyfriend is David Crane, the actor.
#126
What name do we give to an always sad bird? A Bluebird.
#127
Why did the Pigeon cross the road? To prove that he is not a chicken.
#128
What do you call a young bird after he publishes his first book? A fledgling author.
#129
What do you call a sarcastic turkey? A smirky turkey.
#130
Did you hear about the man who stopped eating chicken? He went cold turkey.
#131
What do you call a dry parrot? Polyunsaturated.
#132
Poultry in motion.
#133
It’s owl or nothing.
#134
I’m a little bit egg-centric.
#135
Owl never give up.
#136
A velcrow helps keep the crows in a flock.
#137
We are not emu-sed.
#138
Under the feather.
#139
Owl you need is love.
#140
Eggs-citing.
#141
Nice to tweet you.
#142
Owl night long.
#143
A heavy birden.
#144
One fowl swoop.
#145
You’re owl-some.
#146
Wise quacks.
#147
Like feather, like son.
#148
A chirp off the old block.
#149
I think you’re dove-ly.
#150
Owl by myself.
#151
Tweetheart.
#152
Which bird always gets a first place? A peng-win.
#153
Why do owls get invited to parties? Because they’re a hoot.
#154
Excuse me, could you please sparrow me some change?
#155
Geese what? I am a millionaire now.
#156
I have no egrets.
#157
Going cheep.
#158
Tweetie pie.
#159
Crow away.
#160
Going quackers.
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