Out of all types of cringe-worthy material, the “badass guy/girl” trope is one of the worst. Some people really feel the need to let the world know how much of a badass they are as they use guns/drugs/have tattoos/are anti-liberal or are just plain mean. However, such attempts at bad-assery are usually cringe-worthy rather than cool to all those around such people. Here, we made a list of all the laughable attempts at trying to appear cool and edgy. Prepare for some cringing, then scroll down below and leave a vote for those that made you laugh (or cringe).
#1
“I’m Italian. We don’t call the cops – we call family”
Image source: fan0fchipotle
#2
“The dumbest thing you can possibly do is piss off my wife. She will open the gates of hell and escort your a** right on in. And she will do it with a smile on her face”
Image source: twalklett
#3
“Pastor. Because hardcore devil stomping ninja isn’t an official job title”
Image source: BroThornton
#4
“Hey snowflake, in the real world you don’t get a participation trophy, not everybody is a winner, no one owes you anything, screaming doesn’t make you right, sometimes you actually lose, crying doesn’t solve problems, nothing is free in this world, people are going to say things that you don’t like and you are not special!”
Image source: Jackizback0
#5
“As a September guy, I’m the kind of friend who will help you hide a dead body, but if you betray me just remember I know how to hide a dead body”
Image source: saggywizardsleeve
#6
“I came into this world kicking and screaming while covered in someone else’s blood and I have no problem with going out the same way”
Image source: Gurneyape35
#7
“I have been the kind of man that when my feet hit the floor each morning, the devil says ‘oh crap, he’s up!'”
Image source: daisiebee123
#8
“If this flag offends you, I’ll help you pack”
Image source: unknown
#9
“I may seem quiet and reserved but if you mess with me while I’m bowling, I will break out a level of crazy that will make your nightmares seem like a happy place”
Image source: cassette_nova
#10
“Beware: I ride horses, which means I own pitchforks, have the strength to haul hay and have the guts to scream at a half ton animal after being kicked. You will not be a problem”
Image source: GeekPro101
#11
“Too fat to run, too fat to fight, I JUST SHOOT”
Image source: cattattattat
#12
“Oh, you ran a marathon? That’s so cute! Maybe when you grow up your mommy will let you do the rest of the race!”
Image source: Sycsa
#13
“I am the weapon”
Image source: AnonymousAlAssasin
#14
“Only God can decide if terrorists are right or wrong. It’s our job to arrange the meeting”
Image source: lionheart10801
#15
“Do I look like someone who cares what God thinks?”
Image source: PeteyChamp51
#16
“I am an asshole man: I love freedom, drink beer and love my wife. I protect my family, I eat meat and have tattoos. If you don’t like it – move”
Image source: ibepunkinmugs
#17
“I didn’t serve this country for pussies to tell me that I should be politically correct”
Image source: worstbaby
#18
“I have three sides: the quiet side, the fun and crazy side, the side you never want to see”
Image source: themaskedpoosader
#19
“As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil , for I am the baddest motherf***er in the valley”
Image source: Silver_or_Lead
#20
“Peace is not my profession – it’s yours. War is my profession. Should you fail at your job, I will not fail at mine”
Image source: mtbullard14
#21
“I am 10 times the asshole you could ever hope to be. Now run along”
Image source: SWEDinTexas
#22
“Careful, <…> I’m this old for a reason”
Image source: IamMull
#23
“Stay back 100 meters or you will be shot”
Image source: LetsGoGameCrocks
#24
“There are a lot of people in the world to mess with, I’m the one you may wanna skip”
Image source: NateLeport
#25
“Obama can’t ban these guns”
Image source: Try_AnotherUsername
#26
“If this flag offends you, you need a history lesson”
Image source: Mnkeyqt
#27
“Forklift operator. My sense of humor may hurt your feelings or offend you. I suggest you buckle up, buttercup! I change for no one”
Image source: tardgard69
#28
“I oil my guns with liberal tears”
Image source: Pav1001
#29
“Never, and I mean never, mess with 4-H kids, because in 4-H we are a family… and if you mess with the family you better run”
Image source: lofzfreak
#30
“Cool story, babe. Now make me a sandwich”
Image source: ferretninja91
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