Classic Mismatch: Gaston vs. Beast

Classic Mismatch: Gaston vs. Beast

With so many articles out there focusing on battles that would be waged between those who are equals, or as close to being equal as possible, it’s kind of fun to take a look at matchups that might be a little more lopsided, especially when they have at least a little bit of relevance to another pop culture reference. The Beauty and the Beast story is one that’s been around for quite a while, and it’s been parodied more than once since it was created, not to mention that it’s been one of those that has withstood the test of time when being retold over and over again. But there’s another Beast that’s been fairly popular in the last several decades and as silly as it might sound, it’s interesting to think of what might happen if he was the one to meet up with Gaston instead of the cursed prince. Without going into how strong the actual Disney beast is and how well he can fight, it feels fair to say that Hank McCoy, aka Beast of the X-Men, would wipe the floor with him. 

And if Gaston had troubles with the prince, then there’s no way in hell he’d be able to take on Hank. That’s not to say that he wouldn’t try, since, despite anyone’s attempt to explain why Gaston is a world-class jerk, he’s still the type of guy that thinks he can do anything and isn’t about to be deterred, especially if he can whip the townsfolk into a frenzy and enlist their aid in taking the fight to someone like Beast. Of course, Hank would likely outwit the lot of them while wondering what in the world they were hoping to accomplish. It wouldn’t be his first time facing down an angry mob, since as a mutant, his place in the Marvel universe has been as one of the many persecuted individuals that people don’t like as a rule. Taking on a band of regular humans with pitchforks and torches wouldn’t be much of a challenge. 

There might be a minimal amount of danger since Gaston is a hunter and he’s a rather good shot with his various weapons. But this would only come into play if Gaston had an angry crowd that could actually bother Hank. In a one-on-one match, Hank would be dodging and ducking too quickly for Gaston to draw a bead on him, as his stamina, his agility, and his fighting techniques are well beyond anything Gaston can deal with. And that’s without adding his intelligence and fighting experience into the mix since Hank has been fighting for his life for years. By comparison, Gaston has had it easy no matter if he’s seen one conflict or another, as he’s never been fully discriminated against as Hank has. The upside for Gaston is that Hank isn’t nearly as savage as he looks most times; he likes to reason and think his way through things rather than go nuts and hurt people. But he does have a breaking point just like anyone, and he knows how to defend himself. Pitting Gaston against Beast would be kind of amusing since Hank might humiliate Gaston just to get the point across that he’s being ridiculous.

If Gaston were to persist and really upset Hank somehow he would learn to regret it for the two seconds it would take for Hank to tie him up in a knot and send him off to dreamland. Considering that Hank is skilled in martial combat and can lift upward of 10 tons at his strongest, there’s no way a regular human being like Gaston would do much. In fact, given Hank’s over durability it’s possible to state that if Gaston were to even land a hit on him, it’s very likely that he would break his hand, or perhaps at least bruise it and be even less effective for the next second it would take for Beast to kick the hell out of him. This fight would be over in such quick order that it’s not even really a mismatch, it’s the type of fight that one might see as punishment for Gaston since it would be one of the worst moments of his life if he could remember it. 

There are plenty of mismatches out there when it comes to one fighter or another, and this is one of those that would be a real case of David and Goliath. Pitting Gaston against nearly any popular Marvel character would be a severe mismatch since the guy is a bit of a joke despite being big, buff, aggressive, and a proven hunter. Next to Hank McCoy, he’s a bully with a gun and a bad attitude, and Hank knows how to handle guys like this. The beatdown might actually be kind of comical thanks to the quick-witted thinking and quips that Hank might employ. 

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