‘Tis the season of woolen sweaters, hot cocoa, mistletoe kisses, and… puns! By now, you undoubtedly know about our fascination with good old wordplay, and we are firm on dedicating an article to each possible topic on puns. So, since it’s beginning to look a lot like a bonafide winter wonderland out there, Christmas puns are due. Despite the apparent reason for such jokes being entertainment, there’s one particular use for Christmas puns. And it’s to annoy the hell out of anyone willing to listen! Whether it be a workplace party, a homemade Advent calendar with puns instead of candy, or your family’s Christmas breakfast, you can always egg on anyone asking for it with some lame puns.
Before you go and grab yourself an oversized mug of eggnog to accompany these clever puns (they’re bound to get smarter with each sip), let us introduce you to what you are getting yourself into. Sure, there are puns about Rudolph – he’s the star of many songs, jokes, and parodies already, so we just had to add in a couple of original puns to expand his little repertoire. There are also puns about Claus himself, the jolly, wobbly-tummy advocate of righteousness. Then there’s the Christmas tree and its magic, the socks on a fireplace, and jubilant caroling, and none of it escaped the fate of becoming a funny pun.
Instead of making you bored with ramblings, here’s a proposition – scroll down below, and check out the merry Christmas puns for yourself! By all means, share this article with anyone who’s lacking some merriment spirit right about now; who knows, they might genuinely thank you for that! And, while Mariah and mister Buble thaws to perform their season’s greetings, vote on the most original puns that you saw. By the time you’re finished, they will be ready to remind you what they want for Christmas!
#1
What do you call an old snowman? Water.
#2
I bought my son a refrigerator for Christmas – I can’t wait to see his face light up when he opens it.
#3
What language does Santa Claus speak? North Polish.
#4
Asked my wife what she wanted for Christmas and she told me nothing would make her happier than a diamond necklace. So I gave her nothing.
#5
The three phases of man – he believes in Santa Claus, he doesn’t believe in Santa Claus, he is Santa Claus.
#6
Which reindeer was known for his bad manners? Rude-olph.
#7
What is a parent’s favorite Christmas carol? Silent Night.
#8
How does Darth Vader like his Christmas turkey? On the dark side.
#9
How will Christmas dinner be different after Brexit? No Brussels.
#10
If a reindeer lost its tail, where could he get a new one? At a retail store.
#11
Mrs Claus: “Look out the window, Santa. Is it snowing?”
Santa: “Looks like reindeer.”
#12
What did Adam say the day before Christmas? It’s Christmas, Eve!
#13
Why was Santa’s elf depressed? He had low elf esteem.
#14
Don’t mind the resting Grinch face.
#15
Why is it getting harder to buy Advent calendars? Because their days are numbered.
#16
You don’t like these puns? They literally sleighed everyone at work.
#17
There are three phrases that sum up Christmas: Peace on Earth, Goodwill to Men, and Batteries Not Included.
#18
What do elves have to learn before they can read? The elfabet.
#19
Do reindeer go to public school? No, they’re elf taught.
#20
Who doesn’t eat on Christmas? A turkey because it is always stuffed.
#21
What do you get if you cross a bell with a skunk? Jingle Smells.
#22
Why does Scrooge love reindeer? Because every buck is deer to him.
#23
Who is Santa’s favorite singer? Elf-is Presley.
#24
Everyone needs a friend like Jack Frost—he’s pretty chill.
#25
Watch where you light the Christmas candles this year—you don’t want Santa to become Krisp Kringle.
#26
How do the elves clean Santa’s sleigh on the day after Christmas? They use Santa-tizer.
#27
I love when candy canes are in mint condition.
#28
Why does Santa Claus have to get away from the North Pole?
Claustrophobia.
#29
What happened to the man who stole an Advent Calendar? He got 25 days.
#30
What do you call a letter that is sent up the chimney on Christmas eve? Blackmail.
#31
What’s green, covered in tinsel and goes ribbet ribbet? Mistle-toad.
#32
“All the jingle ladies, all the jingle ladies.”
#33
Children who don’t learn to tie their shoes properly are bound to wind up on the knotty list.
#34
Elves are always defending the shape of their ears. They make some good points.
#35
How do you know that Santa is an expert at karate?
He has a black belt.
#36
What’s the difference between Santa and a Knight?
One slays a dragon, the other drags a sleigh.
#37
Single bells, single bells, single all the way.
#38
It’s a simple case of claus and effect.
#39
What do you need to do if you’re going to sell Christmas trees? Get spruced up.
#40
What do you call a reindeer who wears ear muffs?
Anything you want. He can’t hear you, anyway.
#41
Did you know that Santa’s not allowed to go down chimneys this year? It was declared unsafe by the Elf and Safety Commission.
#42
It’s the most wonderful time for a beer.
#43
Who makes toy guitars and sings “Blue Christmas”? Elfis.
#44
What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees? Horn-aments.
#45
Two snowmen in a field, one turned to the other and said “I don’t know about you but I can smell carrots”.
#46
Why do reindeer meditate so often?
They’re trying to reach Blit-zen.
#47
Be your best elf.
#48
What do monkeys sing at Christmas time? Jungle bells, Jungle bells.
#49
How does one snowman greet another snowman? Ice to meet you.
#50
Who says Oh Oh Oh? Santa walking backwards!
#51
Having something under the tree is such a gift.
#52
Which two letters of the alphabet do snowmen like best? I C.
#53
Here’s a mistletoe-ken of my appreciation.
#54
Santa’s elves have plenty of photos for their scrapbooks because they’re constantly snapping pictures with their North Pole-aroid cameras.
#55
It’s penguining to look a lot like Christmas.
#56
Why does everyone love Frosty the Snowman? He’s cool.
#57
I can feel the Christmas spirit from my head to my mistletoes.
#58
What do you call Santa when he goes to the beach? Sandy Claus.
#59
What did the sea say to Santa? Nothing. It just waved.
#60
What’s the most popular Christmas wine? “I don’t like Brussels sprouts!”
#61
Our Christmas tree decorations this year are pure poet-tree!
#62
Hold me closer, tiny Dancer.
#63
Coal in my stocking? Snow thanks.
#64
You could say we’re sprucing things up with the Christmas tree this year.
#65
Mewoy Christmas—and Happy Mew Year.
#66
Where does Santa keep all the presents? In the pole vault.
#67
Where does Santa hide the presents he’s giving to Mrs. Claus? In the clauset.
#68
What’s the difference between the clementine in your Christmas stocking and Donald Trump? Nothing, they’re both a little orange.
#69
How do snowmen travel around?…By icicle!
#70
What kind of motorbike does Santa use?
A Holly Davidson.
#71
This Christmas is ornameant to be the best one yet.
#72
You’re adorabell.
#73
Stocking up on our favorite holiday treats.
#74
Let’s get this gingerbread.
#75
Can you feel the chemistree between us?
#76
Did you hear that Christmas joke? It’s elfin hilarious!
#77
I’d never flake on you during Christmas.
#78
What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple? A pineapple.
#79
Icy what you did there.
#80
How does Santa keep track of all the fireplaces he’s visited? He keeps a logbook.
#81
What did Santa say to the elf who almost fell out of the sleigh?
Ho ho ho hold on!
#82
Sleigh it ain’t so.
#83
Simply having a wonderful Christmas thyme.
#84
Who’s Santa’s favorite cartoon character? Chimney Cricket.
#85
Did you know Santa has another favorite snack besides milk and cookies? Kringle cut fries!
#86
What are Santa’s lucky suits in cards? The red suits, of course.
#87
I’m clausitive this will be a Christmas to remember.
#88
Treat your elf.
#89
Believe in your elf this Christmas.
#90
You snow the ways to melt my heart.
#91
Do they snow it’s Christmas?
#92
We wish you a fluffy Christmas.
#93
What name does Santa Claus use when he takes a rest from delivering presents? Santa Pause!
#94
Avoiding the elf-phant in the room.
#95
Like an elf, you have great taste in wrap music.
#96
Why do birds fly south in the winter? It’s too far to walk.
#97
What did classical musicians do to prepare for the holidays?
They went Christmas Chopin.
#98
When you cross Santa with a duck, you will get a Christmas quacker.
#99
Don’t be rude-olph this holiday season.
#100
Rebel without a Santa Claus.
#101
Christmas is always a claus for celebration.
#102
No need to claus a scene!
#103
Have your elf a merry little Christmas.
#104
We’re having snow much fun.
#105
There’s snow place like home for the holidays.
#106
You can tell which dessert the snowmen brought by looking at the icing.
#107
I’ll stop the world and melt with you.
#108
It’s snow secret that Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year.
#109
Pawsitively having a wonderful Christmas time.
#110
Counting down the days to Christmutts.
#111
It’s impawsible to be this cute around Christmas.
#112
And Ma in her kerchief, and I in my cap, had just settled down to a long winter’s (cat) nap.
#113
What does a reindeer say before telling a joke? This one will sleigh you!
#114
Where does Santa go when he’s sick? To the elf centre.
#115
There’s snow place like home for the holidays.
#116
I hear the stock(ing) market always rises during Christmastime.
#117
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Arthur…
Arthur who?
Arthur any mince pies left?
#118
He came, he thawed, he conquered.
#119
Did you hear about the elfabet change? Now, there’s noel!
#120
Santa Claws is coming to town.
#121
Why has Hillary Clinton asked Santa for a 23-letter alphabet? Because she is sick of F.B.I.
#122
The most popular class at North Pole High School is Chemis-tree.
#123
I hate to have the last laugh but I told you snow.
#124
I fought to use my vacation leaves for the holidays because I promised my family I’d be gnome for Christmas.
#125
You’re my snow angel.
#126
Yes, I’m elf-aware of my abundant Christmas spirit.
#127
Pining for you.
#128
Excited for Santa Paws to bring lots of treats.
#129
Crank the Christmas mewsic.
#130
It takes one to snow one.
#131
Have a Christmas like no otter.
#132
I love the holidays. It’s the most pun-derful time of the year!
#133
Claus all of me… loves all of you.
#134
Make it rein, deer.
#135
This hot chocolate is delicious, may I have some myrrh?
#136
Baby it’s coald outside.
#137
Oh deer.
#138
I’m s-mitten with you.
#139
Everything looks in peppermint condition.
#140
I bewreath in the spirit of Christmas.
#141
Let’s make santamental Christmas memories.
#142
Don’t forget to snap that Christmas elfie.
#143
Share the welf during the holidays.
#144
I have a helfy dose of Christmas cheer.
#145
Everything’s looking treemendous for Christmas.
#146
Can’t wait to woof down Christmas dinner.
#147
I’ll be home for the howlidays.
#148
‘Tis the season to be furry.
#149
Jack Furost nipping at your nose.
#150
Who is Santa Claus married to? Mary Christmas!
#151
“Sleigh my name, sleigh my name.”
#152
Are you oakay? Yes, I’m pine!
#153
You snow the drill.
#154
Cool as a cucum-brr.
#155
Let me check my calen-deer.
#156
You’re mistletoe-tally rad.
#157
The Christmas spirit really soots you.
#158
That’s a wrap.
#159
I sleigh during the holidays.
#160
I got my mind set on yule.
#161
It’s possibell to not feel festive right now.
#162
Fir real.
#163
You’re so pine, and you’re mine.
#164
Fir-get about it.
#165
A blue Christmas? Fur-get about it!
#166
Snow on and snow forth.
#167
He’s an elf-made man.
#168
I’ve got my ice on you under the mistletoe.
#169
Christmas is a special time of year, as Santa graces you with his presents.
#170
Think we can branch out this holiday season?
#171
Truth or deer?
#172
We may have a Christmassive problem.
#173
Hap-Bee Holidays.
#174
Have a beyuletiful Christmas.
#175
Do you snow what time it is?
#176
Lighten up.
#177
Gather around for some exciting Christmas tails.
#178
Your decorations look treemendous.
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