It’s essential that couples are on the same page in order for their relationship to flourish. If your and your partner’s values, goals, and daily lives are compatible, you’ll probably have your Happily Ever After. However, if you’re misaligned, the odds are that things will eventually end in tears and heartbreak. So it makes perfect sense to get to know someone before committing to them just because they have beautiful eyes or they were nice to you that one time.
Redditor u/RedditPenguin02 sparked an interesting online discussion, as people shared what questions it might be a pretty good idea to ask someone before starting to date them. We’ve collected some of the best ones—from the super serious to the slightly silly—to share with you. Scroll down to check them out!
#1
Are you married?
Squibit314 replied:
I would ask that. If they said no, the next question was “would your wife agree?”
If they laughed, they were telling the truth.
If they got indignant and pissed off that I thought they were lying…they were married.
Worked every time.
Image source: wrenchmonkey135, Drew Coffman
#2
Do I like them, or do I just like that they like me?
Image source: cat_named_virtue, Jonathan J. Castellon
#3
Ask them about their exes. If they think every single one of them is an a*****e…they are likely the real a*****e.
Image source: CantTakeMeSeriously, Vera Arsic
#4
Do they have any pets?
You can tell a lot about someone from how they treat and care for their pets, most of the time.
Image source: FindMe_SomebodyToLuv, Chewy
#5
Do you want kids in the future?
If one person wants kids and the other wants to stay childfree, then they are not compatible. And it is better to try dating someone else.
Image source: GoodAlicia, Nikola Saliba
#6
How do you feel about a woman’s right to be a fully autonomous person?
Image source: Gheerdan, Michelle Ding
#7
Ha Ha, these questions reveal more about the questioner than the answerer. I think maybe we should also ask, “What questions when asked by a potential date, are red flags for you?”
Image source: shadetreephilosopher
#8
What temperature do you set the thermostat to throughout the year?
djdante replied:
Haha this one always gets me as someone who needs low temps – you can always put on more clothes, I can’t peel my skin off to get cooler…
Image source: OneFingerIn, Dan LeFebvre
#9
Aside from major differences about finances, kids, politics, or religion, a big one is; What are your hobbies? If they don’t really have any, you may be the next hobby, which isn’t going to work unless you’ve got that kind of time. If the hobbies are time consuming ones generally done with a SO, but you have no interest in them, that could be an issue as well. If only one of you likes camping, wanted to spend vacation lounging instead of exploring, didn’t like sports, etc either that partner is annoyed or the other feels like they don’t get to enjoy what they love.
Image source: Githard, David Bartus
#10
While many may not agree with this very direct method if you are truly trying to find a long-term match and not waste either person’s time talk about the big-five as soon as possible. My husband and I had the talk on our second date. We’ve been together since 2015.
The big5 are:
* religion
* politics
* children (to have or to have not)
* finances
* deal breakers: human rights / personal ethics concerns etc.
Image source: Ancientallove, Juan Pablo Serrano Arenas
#11
When I was dating my three essential questions were always kids, sex, and money. If you’re not on the same wavelength for any of those three things, just don’t even try.
Image source: KhaosElement, BM Capture
#12
When was the last time you changed your mind about something?
Opens a window to how they think.
Image source: youcantkillanidea, Jonas Leupe
#13
Do you like bread?
That is the extent of my flirting skills.
Image source: HumpieDouglas
#14
Where were you on January 6, 2021?
Image source: NOLASLAW
#15
I would try to take care of any dealbreakers. If I find out that she has different political values than I do, it’s not going to work out in the long run, so I wouldn’t bother. Same thing with other factors (religion, financial values, etc.). I would also ask how much cuddling she likes to engage in, as I prefer a lot.
Image source: SkullKrusher9000, Becca Tapert
#16
Do you have kids?
I asked that once and she said no. Then later after finding out she had kids, i confronted her about it and she said she didnt want to scare me off.
She got so offended when i asked “so you lied instead? I cant even trust you now.”
Image source: anon
#17
BIRTH CONTROL. And never believe “I don’t take it because I can’t get pregnant”. Nature… finds a way.
Image source: BlackLetterLies, Thought Catalog
#18
Do they have a criminal history or any addictions you need to know about.
Image source: HomeschoolMommy313
#19
Are you pro-life? If I get pregnant, are you going to try to force me to give birth?
Image source: Furryhat92, Camylla Battani
#20
“Are you going to be financially dependent on me?”
I wish I’d known that with literally all of my relationships after I turned 18.
Image source: Main-Strike-7392
#21
I highly encourage you ask someone you are getting to know what they are excited about in the next few weeks or month.
For me, it’s critically important that the people I dated were optimistic and excited about life. Obviously that’s not mean to disparage mental health struggles. But it was important that I dated someone who had a similar mindset to myself. I’m someone who finds things to be excited about. I find it jarring and off putting to date or be close to someone who can’t identify things they are excited about. They don’t have to be big things. But having a sunny, positive, and agreeable disposition is important – at least in my opinion.
Image source: Kooky_Finding8516, Surface
#22
Are you jealous or possessive?
Seriously, people who are, it is better not to give them time to enter your life.
Image source: imsweetlassie, Budgeron Bach
#23
What they do to handle stress (genuinely), if they are in any other relationships, and if they have the same intent in dating as you. Nothing worse than finding out four years later that he thinks he’s poly and never thought you needed to know.
Image source: thisismenow0522, Yosi Prihantoro
#24
Are you religious? How religious? I’m agnostic. I could date a Christian, but after decades in a very high demand religion, I couldn’t be involved with anyone who was devoted to religion.
Image source: MormonEscapee
#25
Toilet paper over or under?
Image source: CreepyPhotographer
#26
How did your last relationship end?
Image source: Technerdpgh, Vera Arsic
#27
Probably questions related to spending habits and how much “stuff” they like to have. Poor financial management and hoarding are crushing factors in a relationship.
The older guy of a family in the neighborhood died near the beginning of the year. The wife was moved to assisted living last month, and they took one large uhaul of stuff out of the house, and then I’m told the house flippers loaded 6 (yes SIX) large (40 cubic yard) garbage dumpsters of hoarded… stuff… out of the house.
Don’t be that family. Run away from people with tendencies like this. You will be unlikely to ever cure them of it.
Image source: FrozeItOff, Bruno Guerrero
#28
Do you clap when the plane lands?
Image source: dont_u_know, Alev Takil
#29
“What are you looking for in a relationship?”
Image source: Glambuddha, Priscilla Du Preez
#30
How’s your relationship with your parents?
This speaks volumes about many people.
Image source: BlindShithead, Tima Miroshnichenko
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