Luckily, horror films in 2021 have grown and evolved from the typical and generic crap that dominated the genre for such a long time. Films such as Midsommar, Get Out, A Quiet Place, and The Conjuring have showcased that you don’t need an unnecessary high body count or worthless (but pretty) characters for a successful horror film. However, the true roots of a horror film, namely slasher flicks, will always be around and that’s especially double for 2005’s House of Wax remake, starring Chad Michael Murray (Freaky Friday, Fruitvale Station), Elisha Cuthbert (Eat Wheaties!, Old School), Jared Padalecki (Flight of the Phoenix, Cry Wolf), and everyone’s favorite celebrity, Paris Hilton. Based on the 1953 remake, the 2005 version is about a group of college friends who end up with a flat tire in the midst of an odd town. The only place that’s able to help is the local wax museum; however, when the group soon discovers the twisted and insane brothers who run the place, they must run for their lives in hopes of survival.
The Elisha Cuthbert vehicle was critically panned upon release, though the updated version highlights the issues that have plagued the horror genre for so long. In reality, House of Wax bares little resemblance to the 1953 original. In fact, this could be every generic slasher flick that’s come out in 20 years. You have your classic slasher movie characters: The Whore (Paris Hilton), The Jock (Chad Michael Murray), The Final Girl/Virgin (Elisha Cuthbert), and the token black guy whose main purpose is to die (Robert Ri’chard). Here’s the thing, there’s nothing wrong with having these types of characters as there’s a good potential to have fun with these defining traits. The Cabin in the Woods and Scream are great examples of horror movies that turn these traits on its head. However, the main purpose for a good majority of these slasher flicks is to showcase pretty people dying in gory ways.
I don’t particularly go to horror films just to see people die; Granted, death is guaranteed in a horror movie, but I would actually like to root for characters to get out of their horrifying journey. That’s hard when the characters are one-note and dry. The notable thing that Paris Hilton does is give a blow job before being killed in an extremely violent manner. Robert Ri’chard does less than that. If there’s one thing to take away from The Cabin in the Woods is how Drew Goddard managed to make the core cast likable. They don’t have a tragic past or sappy backstory, they’re just cool people that you want to spend your movie runtime with. And more importantly, we want them to live, thus our invested interest in the story. House of Wax spends its first minutes blandly establishing the traits of the pretty young victims without giving audiences much incentive to root for them. Doing this also makes the slasher film predictable. A monkey could guess the survival rate of each of the cast. However, it’s not just the characters that are the root of the issue, it’s the overall plot. Despite vastly deviating from the original version, the story of a crazed maniac turning people into wax is a strong premise. Had the focus been more on this ghost town and the mysterious disappearances then this could’ve been a chilling mystery/horror feature.
But then, seeing all the pretty young thangs being horribly mutilated would no longer exist. And that’s the problem. We as fans shouldn’t want to root for people dying. Don’t get me wrong, oftentimes it’s exciting to see the inventive ways that people are killed off. However, the horror part doesn’t come from the relentless and mindless killing. It comes from the unpredictable nature of a horror situation itself. What makes Halloween so terrifying isn’t Michael Myers’ murder spree, but the psychology of the serial killer’s next move. Where is he? Who’s he gonna kill next? Why is Michael Myers such a murderous bastard? The build-up to these moments is what keeps the movie ticking. The kills are just an extra (and often fun) bonus. The House of Wax squanders its premise because it decided to take such a rote and pedestrian path. The movie has its moments and Elisha Cuthbert is a likable “final girl” type character, but these types of slasher films need to disappear altogether. It’s 2021, so we understand the rules of these flicks, thus making slasher films less fun because we know every important beat that will take place. The House of Wax could’ve been so much more than a forgettable feature. Perhaps if they do another remake they could actually capitalize on their excellent premise.The Cabin in the Woods
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