A lot of us have cousins and a lot of them have their own individual quirks that we just don’t understand. Am I right? Cousins in movies are even more wacky if you can believe that, as though just by being a cousin you have to be off the wall somehow and just flat out weird. That’s the movie experience though, you get introduced to the supposedly “normal” individuals first and then you get to meet the relatives and lo and behold, there’s the kooky cousin that people either don’t talk about that much or they just try not to associate with. Of course some cousins an their quirks are actually beneficial to the rest of their family, so they might actually be trusted to be around now and again. But on the whole if you’re a cousin in a movie the chances are you’ve some crazy quirk that others can’t understand.
Here are a few different cousins that are anything but normal in their movies.
5. Hoodlum – Illinois Gordon
Illinois is the smack-talkin, wise-crackin smart-aleck that just doesn’t know when to shut up sometimes. His intentions are usually good but he’s seen as more of a goof than a serious character. It’s only when the situation in Harlem starts to heat up and get really intense that Illinois really starts to show any sense of real character, meaning that his mouth starts running more or he gets downright depressed like in this scene.
4. The Great Outdoors – Mara and Cara Craig
They’re weird. There, I said and it’s out of the way. Initially these two are like mute little aliens that only ever react when they discover that something is really gross or disturbing. Otherwise they stare straight ahead in the same creepy fashion as the kids from The Village of the Damned. Eventually they open up and start showing some personality, but only after they’ve suffered a traumatic experience. Odd how that works.
3. The Godfather III – Vincent
Cousin to Mary, Vincent has to go through life being called a bastard because he is quite literally just that. Unfortunately Joey let’s him know a little too often for Vincent’s liking and in response Vincent takes his own measure of payback for the barb. Much like his father that was killed two films earlier Vincent is a man that does not like to be taunted or talked down to.
2. King Ralph – Ralph
He’s a distant royal cousin that wasn’t even supposed to exist considering that his relative, a duke, had a dalliance with an American woman. Ralph wouldn’t have known he had even a speck of royal blood had he not been found by those seeking an heir to the throne. You would honestly think that just by looking at him they would have packed up and kept looking.
1. Christmas Vacation – Eddie
Eddie is about the worst cousin any person could ever have. He has a big heart but it’s fair to say that the size of his heart easily eclipses the size of his brain. I’d like to say he has absolutely no wit to him at all, but Eddie is more of a moocher than a moron. He knows how to worm his way into someone’s life and then act like a total fool. Or maybe it’s a spot of brilliance that shines through the idiocy every now and again like a ray of sunlight.
Cousins, we don’t get to pick them, but we do get to deal with them.
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