Gender roles are a hot topic these days, but there is a segment of the population whose definition of being straight is so narrow, that the moment a man puts in even an ounce of effort, they are immediately declared “gay.”
Someone asked “Straight guys, what is the strangest thing you have been told not to do because “that’s gay”?” and people shared their most unhinged examples. So get comfortable as you scroll through, upvote your favorites and be sure to add your own thoughts and experiences in the comments below.
#1
As a straight woman, I think the gayest thing straight men do IS THINK everything is gay. Like…why are you always thinking about being gay? Gay men? Gay things? Colors that are gay, seasons are gay, drinks are gay, clothes are gay? Like…….maybe YOURE GAY dude .
Image source: Diolives, Johnny Edgardo Guzman / pexels (not the actual photo)
#2
Eating soup. For some reason a friend of mine thinks soup is gay and I love soup.
Of course my highest rated comment is about gay soup.
Image source: rubysundance, Alex Bayev / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#3
I travel to work every day by public transport, including the train. One day a man of Ottoman descent spoke to me. He asked me not to show off my gayness so publicly, as it was disgusting.
I wear a brown leather bracelet on my left wrist with the name of my son (who was 2 years old at the time) engraved on it.
When I confronted him and told him he could keep his homophobic views to himself and that this was my son’s name, he accused me of being xenophobic and Islamophobic.
Image source: Optimus_Prowse
#4
Have a cat. My little buddy is so damn cool. Everyone loves Cosmo.
Image source: Saganists
#5
I can sew, knit and crochet. My aunt watched me as a kid and was a seamstress so I picked it up from her. I got a lot of s**t for being able to do this but whateves. Very useful skills.
Image source: PancakeExprationDate
#6
When I was a kid I did ballet and I was the only boy in the class. Apparently, dancing with twenty girls and being the fastest runner in the school because of my larger-than-average leg muscles is “gaaaaayyyyyy!”.
Image source: SamuraiGoblin, cottonbro studio / pexels (not the actual photo)
#7
Going down on a woman. Seriously. “That’s where the d**k goes!”
Fellas, is it gay to have sex with women?
Image source: MaximumZer0, cottonbro studio / pexels (not the actual photo)
#8
I’m literally tattooing on the guy and say “ok just have Magenta and Gold then we’re done” and he I s**t you not says “Magenta?! What are you, queer? Just call it pink. Dont need to have fancy names for s**t”
Like dude, I have 10 different shades of Pink in this drawer, it’s kind of my whole f*****g job to know the difference lol
Also, youre the one getting permanently colored pink in this spot, and you wanna call me gay for knowing the name?!
S**t cracked me up.
Image source: Warnex9, Allef Vinicius / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#9
My dad called me gay for eating a salad at lunch one time. I was in the first grade.
Image source: moslof_flosom, Taylor Kiser / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#10
Show physical affection to a male animal. Specifically, I kissed my male cat on the top of his head.
Image source: warlock415
#11
When I was in a running club the trainer told me to close my hands to a fist while running, because else it looked gay. I still don’t understand his point. Are fists heterosexual and open hands gay? And also how does that have ANYTHING to do with running?
Image source: Saaihead, Bradley Dunn / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#12
Me and my friends were deciding which movie we wanted to check out in the theater and decided on Brokeback Mountain because the alternative looked “kinda gay”.
Mind that we knew what both movies were about and none of us at that time (or since, I hasten to add) were homophobic or intolerant, that was just the vernacular of the time. Soon as my friend said it though we just kinda looked at each other and burst out laughing, and I think that was the last time I remember any of us using the word as an insult.
Image source: Morrinn3
#13
Get a vasectomy. I’ve seen it making the rounds of fundamentalist influencers as well.
Apparently having tons of unprotected worry free sex with my wife is gay. .
Image source: barrister_bear, JC Gellidon / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#14
I used to have a job that required me to wear a suit and tie. A woman I was seeing said that it was gay that I laid them out the night before. The reason I do that is because me and mornings don’t like each other very much.
I was called gay for not grabbing and kissing a female friend of mine when she wanted me to. For the record, this was several weeks after the “I only see you as a friend and I don’t want to date you” speech. She had not updated her feelings for me to me. Apparently respecting women’s stated boundaries is gay.
Hanging out with my best friend? Two men alone together must be doing the gay to each other.
Honestly, it is exhausting sometimes.
Image source: HippolytusOfAthens
#15
Blasting Pink Pony Club next to some construction workers. 1 started dancing. His buddy called him a flag. He gave him the finger and kept dancing.
Image source: unafraidrabbit
#16
Was out getting drinks with a friend towards the end of pride month, the bar we went to had a special drink for pride called a “Pride-acolada” it had all kinds of fruit in it and sounded delicious so I ordered one. My friend looked at me with terror in his eyes and said “arnt you worried that people will think you are gay if you order that.” I just laughed at him, told him I didn’t care and no one else does either, lost a bit of respect for him in that moment.
Image source: H0Tsoup
#17
Wiping your own a*s. “Why clean the house unless you’re expecting vistors?” -_-
Some of y’all are nasty. How about i just like living in a clean house?
Image source: Envy_The_King, CDC / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#18
I’m a girl dad, so I keep a hair tie looped around my wallet. We kept getting to events (dance, soccer, gymnastics) without one, so I just keep it on me.
I got called a f****t for doing this.
Image source: IdislikeSpiders
#19
Any type of PPE on a blue collar job site.
People think getting intense sunburn and skin cancer or having their toes crushed is peak masculinity.
These are the guys in their early 30/40’s that have f****d up their bodies and still try to encourage newbies to do the wrong thing.
Image source: Hidinginplainsightaw, Los Muertos Crew / pexels (not the actual photo)
#20
Pee sitting down.
I was taking care of my Parkinson’s addled father. Walking and falling down were a big issue. I was basically living at his house towards the end, holding his elbow everywhere he went, including many a midnight bathroom trip, standing there holding him up and holding his d**k so he could pee. I kept trying to get him to just sit down to pee so I didn’t have to touch his d**k.
“NO! I’m not sitting down to take a p**s!”
“Why not?”
“That’s too Fagou!”.
Image source: Impossible-Bluebird8, Curology / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#21
Putting my hands on my hips after running flat out on a treadmill at the gym. It’s a “gay pose” apparently!
Image source: Viracocha09, Rulo Mora / pexels (not the actual photo)
#22
Drink wine.
In “small town southern USA”, guys drink beer and girls drink wine. Some dude took my glass of wine and gave me a beer once at a house party.
Image source: Swagger316, Kevin Kelly / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#23
Cry
It was always kids at school never at home though. My dad is, at least emotionally, a tradional man’s man, but he never told me not to cry. Which caused some issues for me as a kid but helped the adult me be emotionally healthy.
A couple years ago my dad played my family possibly the saddest song to ever exist. Jacobs Dream by Allison Krauss. A devastating song about children freezing to death in the woods while their parents search for them often from the POV of the dead kids, including lines like ‘mommy and daddy don’t cry we arent cold anymore’
I didn’t make it past the first chorus before breaking down, like full body sobs. My dad says something like the classic ‘are you really that upset’ to which i replied something like ‘im not ashamed of the crying, its a really sad song’
The song finished out as my dad continued to pick up around the house, and I definitely saw him wipe a few tears away. He’s been a bit more open about showing tears since then. Its funny because it helped me realize my biggest cry trigger: strong men trying to hold back tears and failing
Image source: gingerking87
#24
Like flowers. B***h, I love lilacs and will not be shamed for going out of my way every spring to fall in love with the smell again and again.
Image source: LimpAd5888
#25
Liking cats. Apparently favoring cats over dogs makes me gay.
Image source: Massive_Wealth42069
#26
Find a woman with short hair attractive.
Image source: JoeMorgue
#27
Grew up in the 80s and 90s anything you did or expressed a interest in you got called gay for.
Image source: knowsitmaybenot, Garrett johnson / pexels (not the actual photo)
#28
The strangest one I’ve heard is “Two guys can’t drive around in a convertible with the top down.”
Another one: “Two guys can’t sit next to each other in a movie theater if it’s not crowded.”.
Image source: instantcreampie, Duran Ekiz / pexels (not the actual photo)
#29
Liking the color pink. I didn’t care about this at first when I was a kid cuz I really liked the color green.
Liking butterflies. Liking green to me meant liking nature as well, cuz nature has the best greens. And nature provides the most beautiful of colors. Insects and especially butterflies fascinated me. They’re just cool and pretty to look at.
Image source: destinedjagold, Ketut Subiyanto / pexels (not the actual photo)
#30
I haven’t been told this, but a Facebook friend posted she would never let her man wear flip flops because “that’s gay”.
Image source: brainless_bob
#31
I played the clarinet. I got called Faginet alot.
Image source: tousski, Sofía Marquet / pexels (not the actual photo)
#32
I once (advised by my therapist) tried to make friends at work by asking someone to go grab a coffee… He said it was weird for two men to go get coffee.
F**k you too, Miguel.
Image source: simcoedemayo
#33
Putting on sunscreen.
Image source: JumpyInterview83, Kindel Media / pexels (not the actual photo)
#34
Drinking a cocktail (or a female drink as they say).
Image source: ABigMoustache, Mgg Vitchakorn / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#35
I had a male friend who wouldn’t drink through a straw because you “look gay” when you use a straw.
Image source: Imaginary_Pause24, Ashley Kirk / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#36
Moisturizing, using conditioner, or spending time on skincare.
Image source: Electrical_Top_6597
#37
Not drinking alcohol when using power tools. I do woodworking as a hobby, and not drinking alcohol when operating table saws and planners is gay apparently. I guess PPE is also gay by extension.
Image source: Murky-Fox-200
#38
Saying I love you and hugging your best friend as a man that is a man.
Image source: anon
#39
Using an umbrella.
Image source: JBx89x
#40
Wear pink or similar colours, although it definitely is my colour.
Image source: MassiveCourage3322, Sven Vahaja / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#41
Wallet on left side? Gay.
Ear ring in right ear? Gay
Having a color preference of any kind? Gay
M*******ting? Means you are gay.
Any crossing of the legs other than foot on top of opposite knee? Gay.
Image source: oldfogey12345, Sezer Uzunoğlu / pexels (not the actual photo)
#42
Old guys at work said that liking avocado is gay.
Image source: NumHalls
#43
Eating at a sushi restaurant with another guy..
Image source: savage-cunt, Derek Duran / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#44
My cousin introduced me to the computer game “you don’t know jack”. When I visited him again, he had uninstalled it and wouldn’t let me play it because he said it makes people gay.
Image source: DontBeADramaLlama
#45
Listen to David Bowie.
Image source: Background-Smoke2853
#46
I’m of Mexican descent, which has a very machista culture. When I was a kid I used to eat tacos by squeezing my thumb and index fingers and my other 3 digits would be standing up. My parents would make fun of me and would say it looked feminine every time they caught me doing it till I stopped cuz I was just really annoyed by it all. I mean, its terrible taco eating form, no support, but that’s not why they hassled me.
Image source: ponyboy182
#47
Design curvy UI component, like button, alert dialog, text box. If its too rounded, my coworker say its gay.
Image source: fishintankagain, charlesdeluvio / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#48
Checking my finger nails with my palm facing away from me lol .
Image source: MarkZuckarberg, Vika Glitter / pexels (not the actual photo)
#49
Listening to music where the singer is a male.
Image source: SimulationGlitch44
#50
Any leg cross that wasn’t your ankle sitting on your knee was gay.
Image source: TheMazoo, Tima Miroshnichenko / pexels (not the actual photo)
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