Many things are bothersome in life and many people make sure to let others know when they are. Some, however, are unable or unwilling to express what troubles them, consequently keeping all the emotions bubbling inside.
While anyone can belong to the latter group, it’s often men who find themselves in such a position. In a thread started on the ‘Ask Men’ subreddit, they shared their thoughts on the topic after one netizen asked them about things that secretly bother them but are rarely talked about. Ranging from emotions that they have to hide to having to follow a certain standard, among other things, their answers covered all sorts of aspects of everyday life. So if you want to learn more about what bothers them, scroll down to find their thoughts on the list below, where you will also find Bored Panda’s interview with the person who started the discussion, u/permanentburner89.
#1
This doesn’t just bother me. I f****n’ hate it…How TV commercials, shows and movies constantly portray men, especially husbands, as buffoons. The trope of the idiot, shlubby (fat) man-child husband with the slender, beautiful wife is pathetic. Do women like this sh*t? What does it say about women? They like marrying idiot man-children?
It is so bad that a man on Tik Tok posted that his freakin’ 6-year old daughter asked him why all the dads in the movies never know anything. Even children see it. You rarely see men, husbands and/or dads portrayed as men of integrity with purpose who love & support their wives, children and community. G-d help all the sons of the women who grow up with moms that hate men and think we are all stupid.
Image source: rgoltn, Ivan Samkov / pexels
#2
Not being listened to, then getting told that I’m yelling when I am just raising my voice to be heard. Repeating myself and getting frustrated resulting in the same situation.
Image source: TheRepoMan, Nicola Barts / pexels
#3
I think one thing that really bothers a lot of men is the pressure to always be the ‘strong’ one. Society expects us to be tough and unfeeling, which can make it hard to express vulnerability or ask for help. It’s not like we don’t have feelings; we just feel like we can’t show them without being judged. I wish it was more accepted for guys to talk about their struggles openly.
Image source: Dull_Complex_80, Yan Krukau / pexels
#4
How stupid people are. Like how can people go their whole lives not able to problem solve. I just know if an apocalypse happens I’d have to carry a lot of the people I care about because common sense just doesn’t make sense for them. At times tho it can be very funny.
Image source: ControlForward5360, Mental Health America (MHA) / pexels
#5
Stupid people should start learning to wear headphones instead of blasting obnoxious videos and music on their phones for everyone to hear.
Image source: Lightning_Reverie, Burst / pexels
#6
Sports. From rec, all the way up to pro. Small children watch their parents grossly abuse teenage refs that are just trying to ensure these kids get to play. Preteen kids play a sport, year round, with no time for their bodies to rest and recuperate. I knew a kid that had Tommy John surgery before he could drive. Teenagers that have practice until 10 pm, and still have to manage schoolwork. Time at practice and games, instead of family time at the dinner table. Kids can barely read and write, but make it all the way through school because they play a sport.
People treat other people like garbage because they like the wrong college. People won’t wear a certain color because of a loyalty to some college sports team, at a school they didn’t even attend. People make their schedules around football games, and miss out on family events like weddings, because of a college football game.
People have been knifed because they follow a professional sports team. People show up to work, where they make money to pay their bills, hungover because they were up late watching sports the night before. There are professional athletes that can barely speak coherently, because their education was secondary to a game. People will pay to watch a game, but are behind on child support. That is baffling to me. The amount of money spent on sporting events is astronomical.
I will never understand how some people worship at the altar of sports. I can enjoy watching soccer or baseball games, but I have a personality, independent of it. I can enjoy watching my children play their respective sports, without feeling the need to berate another human being for a missed call, or throw punches at some other kid’s parent for cheering an injury. It’s disturbing.
Image source: brokeneggomelet, Pixabay / pexels
#7
I wanna spill my guts. I wanna tell someone every dark thought, fear, failure, mistake. Every wish, hope, and desire. I wanna put it all out there.
I will never do that to anyone. I’ll just sit here quietly, staring into my beer.
Image source: Designer_Manager_405, MART PRODUCTION / pexels
#8
It not being socially acceptable to express that we feel unloved. To have grievances.
Image source: Wookie_wood69, Timur Weber / pexels
#9
People who have kids that think they deserve special treatment. It was your choice to have kids and it is my choice to don’t give a s**t
Image source: anon, Ketut Subiyanto / pexels
#10
How little anyone realizes that men are compliment starved.
I can still vividly recall a complete stranger saying something flattering to me over 30 years ago – like it was yesterday.
Because of this I do make it a point to say nice things to other dudes when I’m public and the moment is right.
Image source: Holeshot75, cottonbro studio / pexels
#11
Why can’t we have modern cars with the old car designs?
Imagine a mustang 64 with the insides of a new Corvette.
I mean sure people will die but they are going to anyway.
Image source: -DictatedButNotRead, Enric Cruz López / pexels
#12
I think a lot of men and women take media’s representation of relationships as what a a good relationship should be and it’s extremely damaging to their own happiness and contentment in a real relationship.
Image source: TheDukeofArgyll, Emre Akyol / pexels
#13
Social media and meme culture has turned a *lot* of people into antisocial a******s.
Image source: D0013ER, mikoto.raw Photographer / pexels
#14
The socialization loss that’s happening right now. People need to talk and be around other people, especially when they’re young. We are soon going to have a lot of young people that never got a chance to do that. I’m worried what that will do as people regress further inwards
Image source: Gamer_ely, Athena Sandrini / pexels
#15
Why is having balance in one life literally one of the most important things but do we ever reward balance growing up or in society in general? Everything seems to be one way or the other and so black and white and so much extremism. You either losing or your either winning.
Why dont school teach kids how to handle stress? And learn more about laws? Finance? And different paths if college isn’t a future a kid wants? School is not for everyone else on top of that there’s alot of bullying that goes on and ruins education and someones ability to trust and want to be social.
Image source: Fit_Dish_8107, Katerina Holmes / pexels
#16
Its hard to find guy friends after graduating school, most people only make new friends through their jobs, but most people in my job are in their 50s or 60s and have families w/ no time off.
Image source: mrkgob, The Coach Space / pexels
#17
It’s very hard to find a woman who is content with a simple life.
I want to make something clear, I don’t hate women. F**k all the Tate-stans with their misogyny. Women are deserving of inherent love and respect, and they deal with a lot of s**t that we as men will never understand.
With that out of the way, I’ll say that I would love to meet a woman who isn’t obsessed with travel, entrepreneurship, or Instagram. And this is just hard to find.
Not saying there’s anything wrong with travel or business. But if that leaves little room for love, or when she can’t relax and enjoy the present without thinking about the next trip, it’s just not really great energy.
Image source: JCSP16, Mizuno K / pexels
#18
I’m doing so much. I do a lot of chores, I work hard. I care for our daughters and I’m in constant fear to not be enough. Too less of a father or a worse father. Not earning enough money for my family. Not providing enough. I wake up and work earlier than my wife and I go to bed and sleep a lot less than my wife.
But I am never seen or heard. All along there is the narration that only women have mental workload or do care work. Though I feel that reality (not just my own lived reality, but the younger the people the more live like that) is much more than mine.
Image source: AdVivid9056, MART PRODUCTION / pexels
#19
I don’t think women like a******s per se BUT I do think a lot of women like to feel needed. And who are the some of neediest people? Well they tend to be a******s.
I saw it growing up with my mother who was always “trying to fix” my father instead of leaving him for being an a*s. I never liked how my father treated my mother so I always sought to be self-sufficient and helpful. I’d hear the same type of admissions from older divorced women when I used to work in a public-facing job in my early 20s. I’m 33 now and I’ve experienced that same type of dynamic so many times. I’ve been passed up over and over again only to have them reach out several years down that they made a huge mistake, that they had always loved me, that they’re sorry, etc etc.
I’m not interested in being someone’s silver medal. Life isn’t a book or TV drama. We have to will ourselves to make the changes we want in our own lives. I’m proud of the progress I’ve made the last several years and I’d like to meet a woman that actually values my self-sufficiency rather than being her “Plan B”.
Image source: astraldefiance, voronaman111 / envatoelements
#20
How we use up 75% if our lives working to try to enjoy the rest.
Image source: DingbattheGreat, Mikhail Nilov / pexels
#21
Getting crazy, old man hair growing out of my ears. I need to find someone to wax my ears.
Image source: DudeBuddyGuyMan, Ksenia Chernaya / pexels
#22
How there seriously is not a “perfect match” for every person, romantically. Maybe a majority of people can settle for something and declare it perfect, but there is always going to be a sub sect of people, men and women, that are fundamentally incapable of long term, enriching, true love. Whether it’s due to circumstances those people can control, or otherwise…. Many assume that true love is out there, for everyone, but I’m saying statistically this doesn’t hold true for some. And nobody gives a s**t, people just ignore them or sweep them under the rug like every other mildly disconcerting thing we are presented with today
Image source: DubC-Ent, Ilkin Safterov / pexels
#23
That everything is our fault.
Some men bad? All men are at fault. Some women are bad? All men are at fault. Environment? Society? All men bad. I’m sick of it.
I’ll never bring it up in public though because – you guessed it – even bringing that up is just another problem of men.
Image source: Demonyx12, Malachi Cowie / unsplash
#24
Being compared to others in terms of success at my age and then when I started to succeed at a so called “young age”, people started telling me don’t take big decisions because you’re still young! It really bothers how some people can’t think out of a society frame, and btw im 24
Image source: Fantastic-Journeyy, Mizuno K / pexels
#25
The way men prefer repressing emotions and shoving it back down, rather than exploring and understanding them. I have more and more of a hard time connecting with men because they usually do that, then act like they are reliable, problem solvers, more pragmatic and less sensitive than women etc., but men really can go their whole life not understanding a part of our world, society and relationships, just because of that.
Last month my friend who I went to the gym with said, after lifting a lot of weight “this is better than any form of b******t therapy”, and I know this guy has repressed emotions and a difficult past.
Image source: Vici0usRapt0r, Gleb Krasnoborov / pexels
#26
I’m a 42 year old introvert who has basically given up on finding the right woman. Or even someone on the right side of “right”.
I’m convinced that I’m going to spend the rest of my life alone just trying to stack enough money to have something meager to pass down to my son to try and help him survive the grim future I’ll eventually be leaving him alone in when I kick the bucket.
Image source: absolute_panic, Yan Krukau / pexels
#27
I think a lot of men don’t have anything against a woman for wanting their SO to be a good provider but there’s definitely a double standard because if men left women over them not maintaining their respective gender role, there’d be hell to raise.
If I told someone I’m leaving my spouse because he can’t keep a job or because he can’t provide for our family people would feel bad for me, but If my husband told me I’m leaving you because you can’t cook or clean, he would be eaten alive.
Image source: Hopeful_Ad1315, Joel Drzycimski / unsplash
#28
The fact that my GF wants to spend time with ex BFs and dates, but if I tell her that it hurts me and pls consider not doing it… then I’m controlling?
Image source: writerbusiness, Good Faces / unsplash
#29
The amount of name brand streaming services is ruining streaming. Where we use to just have two or whatever, now everybody has one. So, instead of all the money being funneled, it’s spread across. And, since they’re a bit expensive, people run one or two at a time, then cancel and pick another one or two to run for a month or two.
This is negatively effecting the shows. There’s less money available, so these companies are canceling really wonderful series’ because they don’t see great initial numbers.
Image source: Bimlouhay83, Thibault Penin / unsplash
#30
I’m 27 now but I remember when I left home at 17 just because I was a guy everyone especially girls treated me like I was supposed to have everything and know everything like a 50 year old man
Image source: Affectionate-Lack991, RDNE Stock project / pexels
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