People aspire to be perfect. But we’re flawed. So when we try to hide our shortcomings, often the only person that we’re fooling is ourselves. And there’s a Reddit post to remind us of that if we ever forget.
Created by user TheBlanketFortPirate, it asked everyone, “What’s something we all just pretend no one does, but in truth we know we all do it?” The platform’s community immediately noticed it and in less than two weeks, it has already received over 19K comments, many of which provide accurate answers! Continue scrolling to check out those that received the most upvotes.
#1
Coming up with the perfect comeback in your head long after the other person left.
Image source: HotelMemory, Luis Villasmil
#2
Making up fake scenarios in our head.
Image source: Mania08, Ben White
#3
Have a full conversation with your pet. I can’t be the only one.
Image source: Scared-Department-96, Julio Lopez
#4
Intrusive thoughts that make us question whether we’re secretly psychopaths.
Image source: Advanced_Union6240, Anthony Tran
#5
Panic clean before guests come over to then apologize for the mess.
Image source: StressAccomplished30, Pixabay
#6
Read messages from the notification bar then pretending you didn’t see the message only much later.
Image source: kaylaandre, Porapak Apichodilok
#7
Google an unrecognizable number rather than just answer the call to find out who it is
Image source: terrierr3x
#8
Talking to ourselves.
Image source: Mr_Lexu, Kelly Sikkema
#9
“It is not the picking of the nose that separates us, but what comes after”
– My dad, 2015
Image source: Big_Nasty_420, Ketut Subiyanto
#10
Winning fake arguments in your head.
Image source: paradise_lost9, Andre Hunter
#11
Reading comments/texts multiple times after sending/posting them. Just to let the fact that you’re a modern day Shakespeare settle in.
Image source: Nexrosus, Cytonn Photography
#12
Procrastination!
Image source: Sneh_Vatsa, Adrian Swancar
#13
Watch movies with IMDB pulled up looking at what other things actors have been in
Image source: Elephantmenstruation
#14
Making up conversations in my head before something important. Like I will say this and then the response from other person might be this.. sometimes it can go for 10-15 min before I snap back to reality.
Image source: hastinapur, Malachi Cowie
#15
Use q-tips to clean ears. We all *know* it’s bad and you’re just hurting yourself in the longterm… but damn does it feel great to scratch those itchy, dirty ear canals.
Image source: carcassandra
#16
When you go into an aisle in the grocery store and you see someone in front of the object you’re looking for so you pretend you’re getting something else all while hovering near them waiting for them to leave that area so you can get said object.
Image source: 1Shadowspark1
#17
Get enraged at the things a bully did 40 years ago.
Image source: AttemptingToGeek, Siavash Ghanbari
#18
Constantly talking to oneself, making weird noises, and doing weird dances while alone. Or is it just me?!
Image source: DesignerPJs
#19
Fantasize about doing something/someone you shouldn’t.
Image source: MarcusAntione
#20
Recently I had to insist that my wife knocks loudly and waits before opening my son’s bedroom door. I really had to explain why FFS! I know he’s constantly jacking off, but he would be mortified if anyone knew, especially his parents.
Image source: stateofyou
#21
Look up words that people use because we don’t know the meaning even though we pretend to when they are talking.
Image source: j_grouchy, Luis Villasmil
#22
Have anxiety after social events.
“Was I weird?”
“Did they like me?”
“Did I look well enough?”
We all do this. Your friends don’t hate you. They are just as worried about you hating them as you are of them. A healthy person doesn’t sit and think about how much they hate a person they either just saw or met. Your real friends won’t care about the things you think they hate you for (acting weird, saying something awkwardly, second hand embarassment). Just breathe. You are loved, even if it’s just by yourself. You are loved.
Image source: goldenzola
#23
Kids hide their profanity from Adults, and Adults hide their profanity from Kids. Because both sides must maintain the illusion that the other side doesn’t know that they know profanity.
#24
Trying to fart carefully so that it doesn’t make too loud of a sound.
Image source: Lech_Lickerish
#25
Apologize to inanimate objects
Image source: JustSomeRando_o
#26
Fart in public.
I was at Home Depot a few months back and I was walking down an aisle and another dude was walking down that same aisle towards me. When he realized I would be walking where he just was his exact words were, “I bout just s**t my pants right over there, maybe give it a minute before you head that way”…
I’ve never been so appreciative towards a complete stranger. That’s real looking out for your fellow man right there! We’ve all been out and unknowingly walked through someone else’s fart… or had someone else walk through ours…
Edit: Wow! After reading y’all’s comments- everything from husbands/wives busting a*s in a grocery store line and one leaving the innocent spouse to take the heat, to teachers purposely crop dusting students who are acting a fool, I’ve realized y’all are some sick and twisted individuals…and I love it and I’m pretty sure some of you are evil geniuses.
To those of you who have commented how gross we are and that you have never popped one off in public- let me apologize one behalf of all of us filthy mcnasty’s.
And lastly, to all of you who have fallen victim to the errant air biscuit and have suffered trauma because of it- I’m pretty sure this is where some of y’all’s origin stories begin… Please remember that there are good people like my Home Depot homie who are doing gods work trying to prevent people from the awful experience of unknowingly walking through and tasting someone else’s brand…
Simply put- y’all are awesome!
Image source: jmedi11
#27
Look at the bowl after we poop.
Image source: cnewman11
#28
Imagining how you would kill someone but you realise it’s far too much effort
Image source: humanunit154-B
#29
Tell small lies. Particularly to make us and others feel better.
Image source: Actuaryba, Priscilla Du Preez
#30
day dreaming about kissing/cuddling with someone. No one admits to it cause it sounds weird as hell, but we’ve all done it and likely most of us still do it.
Image source: OtherwiseAnt2401
#31
Thinking about embarrassing moments
Image source: Hot_Wine_2004
#32
Convincing yourself in your head that everyone around you is doing things perfectly and at full efficiency and expect the same of the people around them.
No? Just me?
Image source: adamantitian, Kelly Sikkema
#33
Leave clean towels/clothes in the laundry basket for days and putting off folding them.
Image source: littoboots
#34
Incoming call. First thought: *oh why in the heck is this person calling me..*
Answer: “Hey George! So glad you called…”
Image source: SalesGuy22
#35
Judge other people.
Image source: PleasedBeez, Kalea Morgan
#36
Talk to our pets and imagine their responses.
Image source: AJTwinky
#37
My papaw always said there’s two people in this world. People who pee in the shower, and liars.
Image source: ClassyWomanizer
#38
I don’t know if we all do it, but open a card and pretend not to see cash fall out while reading the card. Haha
Image source: SadTattooedGirl
#39
Smell our own body odor
Image source: Putrid-Car-2896
#40
Deliberately delay responses to text messages and e-mails, even though it would be convenient to reply.
Image source: Back2Bach
#41
We all know you sign up for the free trial and cancel it before it’s over. It’s ok I do it too.
Image source: drdre27406
#42
Assume you are “above average” intelligence.
Image source: Kingpine42069, Olav Ahrens Røtne
#43
Make snap judgements about people based on their appearance.
This could be anything from race, gender, age, clothing, hairstyle, facial appearance, etc.
We make these judgements before we have time to think about it. It’s almost instant. None of us like to talk about this because some of these judgements are controversial.
Image source: GolfandPoker
#44
Scratching your crotch.
Image source: Whatawootsee
#45
Office workers slacking off for at least half of their ‘working’ hours. 40hr work weeks are antiquated for many of us, I know I can do my job in 15-20hrs/week and the other 20-25hrs are me just kind of… Sitting around. Why don’t we all just cut the b******t and live our f*****g lives already?
Image source: TheAlbinoAmigo
#46
We all brush our teeth until our gums bleed before going to the dentist even though we know it’s going to do absolutely nothing
Image source: XxMahereezyxX
#47
I’m sure there’s actually a term for this but the thing you do when you’re upset or hurt and then attribute it to something that feels more respectable to be upset about. Like instead of crying because you’re mad that someone forgot your birthday spirals into the long history of wrongs that person has made. Because it’s embarrassing to say that you just wanted to be a special boy for a day.
Image source: SloppyNachoBros
#48
Lying about things like “How are you?“ or” You need help?” and so on.
Image source: JackyCogan_
#49
Enjoy a song from Nickelback.
Image source: Actuaryba
#50
Secret Playlist of songs you don’t want anybody knowing you’re into
Image source: OrcaStratus
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