Swear words and insults are an inescapable part of life. In fact, it’s hard to imagine humanity ever becoming so peaceful and kind that nobody would ever have anything bad to say about anyone else. There’s always going to be friction. Different perspectives, values, and agendas are always going to clash.
But for some people, simple and direct insults, though powerful, can get pretty mundane. User u/CoatedTrout4 recently inspired the r/AskReddit community to share their favorite subtle and creative insults that are beyond devastating. We’ve collected some of their most imaginative ones to share with you. Scroll down to check them out! Though, keep in mind, insulting someone ‘for fun’ is a great way to lose friends—it’s not something to be played around with.
#1
Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries…
Image source: Dumblond11
#2
(After a tirade or rude remark) “Are you okay”, spoken with the deepest sincerity.
Image source: LurkingandPosting, SHVETS production
#3
You’re difficult to underestimate.
Image source: maplenut, MART PRODUCTION
#4
When I was living I the UK I learned my favourite, most polite roast, of all times:
“You are so brave to say that”.
I love British sarcasm.
Image source: Volgrand
#5
Working with you is like working by myself, but harder.
Image source: deedee_mega_doo_doo
#6
The best line I heard was in a gym car park. A martial arts instructor was reversing his car and was nearly upended by a mid-40s feral in lycra on her P plates. She was looking for an argument and chose a soft target – country of origin based on appearance and skin colour. She fired off all insults based around the subject of “go back to where you came from”.
The guy, who I perceived to be much older, said, “In my country, abortion is illegal. But with you, we can make an exception.”.
Image source: kytd1526
#7
Wisdom has been chasing you but you have always been faster.
Image source: Crabbylegs92
#8
Had this rude girl at work a few years back, who thought she was so hot and perfect and.. well you know the type. Anyway, one day I got sick of her attitude and said, “ Kendra, what’s it like being like the third hottest girl here?”
Drove her mad.
Image source: kkerins86, Vlada Karpovich
#9
Your grades say marry rich, but your face says study harder.
Image source: MightyToast79
#10
I don’t.respect you enough for you to hurt my feelings.
Image source: Fealieu
#11
I had a really self-obsessed grade 12 student start bragging about how good looking he was, trying to get some girls’ attention. He said “people always tell me I look like a model.” I was at my desk marking, while the students were *supposed to be* working and, without even looking up I piped in with “Yah, a hand model.” His friends roared with laughter and I got many high fives. Even from the “model” kid.
Image source: vocabulazy
#12
> “You’re not making the point you think you are.”.
Image source: garrettj100, William Fortunato
#13
“Have the day you deserve!”.
Image source: quadruple_negative87
#14
“You two look gorgeous” in the comments section of a social media post of a picture with 3 women in it.
Image source: Witherboss445, cottonbro studio
#15
I work at a grocery store that has a “senior day” once a month (they receive 10% off their entire order, includng alcohol and tobacco). I had a very rude young lady in my lane (probably late 30s). I added the senior discount, she saw it, and I said “I’m not quite sure if you qualify for the senior discount, but I gave it to you just in case. That’s 10% off your purchase
Have a nice day!” The look on her face was priceless. 😉.
Image source: lynnm59
#16
You seem like the kind of guy who would be embarrassed to buy tampons for his girlfriend.
Image source: AlbiTheDargon
#17
“Ah, so this is what everyone meant.”.
Image source: mrlotato, Andrea Piacquadio
#18
Five years ago, I met up with a friend. I asked her how my eyebrows were ( I had just waxed them and done them nicely). Her response: “I like the left one.”
Still remember that.
Image source: KMermaid19, cottonbro studio
#19
I’m close to my sister and her friends. I’ve unironically heard, “I like how you’ll just wear anything” after they spent the past hour getting ready.
Image source: GrammastolaRosea, Zen Chung
#20
Never underestimate the power of okay:
“You’re ugly” okay
“You’re stupid” okay
“You’ll never be cool” okay
Stops them in their tracks and makes them look weird as hell for saying it in the first place.
Image source: FroggySpirit
#21
Man, I wish I had your confidence.
Also, one I always remember from xkcd: “the only thing standing in the way of your dreams is that the person having them is you.”.
Image source: zenspeed, Keira Burton
#22
To someone who’s yelling at you “Oh wow, big feelings!!”.
Image source: yagsogiel
#23
I think you are talking about things that you don’t have the capacity to understand.
It went right over his head.
Image source: papyrus-vestibule
#24
Couldn’t say it better than Ron Swanson
“When people get a little too chummy with me I like to call them by the wrong name to let them know I don’t really care about them.”.
Image source: wh4tdoyoukn0w, SHVETS production
#25
Man, you’re making that look real difficult.
Image source: TypeGreen51, William Fortunato
#26
“Everyone was right about you.”.
Image source: RiflemanLax, Liza Summer
#27
I heard a kid say this before:
“You know I bet you eat your cereal with water, ’cause your dad never came back with the milk.”
Kinda basic but it hit the other guy hard.
Image source: Performance-Guilty
#28
After knowing you all these years, I truly consider you an acquaintance.
Image source: madameporcupine, Edmond Dantès
#29
You have not been cursed with knowledge.
Image source: HeartonSleeve1989
#30
You might be smart enough to be a bimbo, but the looks just don’t qualify.
Image source: keNNabisi
#31
I’ve always liked, “you’re at the top of the bell curve.” .
Image source: Reinmaker, fauxels
#32
My days of not respecting you certainly are coming to a middle.
Image source: fubes2000, Wolrider YURTSEVEN
#33
As a woman, you have to be very careful when you use this one, but anything “oh wow are you trying something new with your makeup? (Or hair or insert something) Oh no it doesn’t look bad- it’s just interesting.” Did that to a girl who was bullying a friend of mine, she immediately shut up and seemed self conscious.
Image source: 7MrKai
#34
“You look tired.”.
Image source: dumbinternetstuff, RDNE Stock project
#35
First of all, clean your teeth.
Image source: Howitzer1967, Kindel Media
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