In the good old days of westerns and noir detectives, it was difficult to meet a character who was not surrounded, in addition to a romantic flair, by a cloud of heavy cigarette smoke. The heroes of old films smoked like steam locomotives, and Kim Basinger, after filming Nine ½ Weeks, even once admitted that kissing Mickey Rourke was ‘like licking a full ashtray’.
But now these days are gone, and the smell of tobacco no longer looks so spectacular and stylish. Rather, on the contrary, it repels people. And here is one such story that once happened to the user u/IndyMazzy, which we want to tell you today.
The author of the post works in a company where one of the coworkers had a heavy smell of tobacco
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
The woman perhaps wasn’t aware of her own smell and always tried to talk to other colleagues, not paying attention to the looks on their faces
Image credits: IndyMazzy
Image credits: Marybeth Sclafani (not the actual photo)
Image credits: IndyMazzy
The author’s nose couldn’t stand that smell, so they had been trying various ways to avoid that colleague for years
Image credits: erocsid (not the actual photo)
Image credits: IndyMazzy
The colleague finally asked the author a direct question – and received direct yet polite answer, which left her devastated anyway
So, the Original Poster (OP) worked in an office where one of their colleagues was a woman who actually had many virtues. For example, she was very friendly, experienced – having worked for the company for decades – and rather skillfull. But there was one drawback that completely interrupted all these advantages. Her scent. Or actually, her odor.
As the OP recalls, the colleague smelled like indoor smoking, hairspray left in hair for days, and a general lack of personal hygiene. Moreover, we must say that this woman did not bother at all – she obviously was from that category of people who do not care at all about their hygiene and presentation. But the OP’s unfortunate nose simply refused to endure this whole range of smells, especially the heavy spirit of tobacco.
As a result, almost every time the colleague tried to approach the author with some kind of conversation, whether business questions or some small talk, they invariably came up with an urgent matter for themselves and left. Moreover, in their own office, the original poster equipped themselves with a pony door, suggesting that the colleague put any paperwork in the basket outside. Periodically, the OP said that they had an urgent video call, so they couldn’t talk to their colleague anyway. But, of course, it couldn’t last long…
One fine day, almost four years after the OP joined the company, the woman literally posed the question point-blank – why does the author of the post constantly avoid her? And the original poster was forced to tell the whole truth, admitting that because of her constant smoking habit, she carries a tobacco odor that they find offensive and can’t be around. The OP admits that they tried to be as polite as they could without mentioning the other smells – but that was enough to make the colleague seem absolutely crushed and she hasn’t spoken to the OP since. And the author accordingly has remained in thought about how inappropriately they acted…
Image credits: Ivan Samkov (not the actual photo)
“I don’t think the author of the post acted in any way too ugly here,” says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, to whom Bored Panda reached out for a comment on this story. “Frankness in exchange for frankness – and in the most correct and polite form, as I understand it. Most likely, the author’s colleague was already so used to her smell that she did not realize what problems it causes for others.”
“Perhaps it would have been worthwhile to somehow delicately hint at the importance of personal hygiene over these four years, but these are just details. It is likely that the OP’s coworker took the initiative on their part as something offensive. And in this situation, she herself started that conversation – and received quite a direct answer. I hope that relations between employees did not deteriorate in the future – especially since this woman, as the OP themselves say, was very friendly and perhaps a valuable asset for the company,” Irina notes.
Most of the commenters here fully agree with the author of the post, noting the diplomacy of their response. In any case, if anyone’s personal boundaries are violated, they need to be defended – up to getting HR involved, as some people point out in the comments. According to most commenters, the OP was completely polite and gentle, so there is absolutely no need for them to reproach themselves for something. “They were honest, and you answered,” some folks in the comments simply claimed.
If you want more good news about various employees, you can perhaps check out this post of ours, where netizens excel in witty praises for this woman named Alley, who was recently called ‘Employee of the Week’ by one Walmart store, and commenters instantly turned her into a meme. And, of course, we’re looking forward to your own comments on the case described, or your own tales in case you’ve ever faced such a situation at work.
However, people in the comments almost unanimously sided with the author, suggesting even getting HR involved
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