Taking part in any sport is a real challenge. Just think how awkward you are when you’ve just started learning how to play, say, squash, polo, or roque! You might’ve even thought that such levels of awkwardness did not exist until you yourself tried participating in said sports. Of course, with tenacity and some sweat, you do become at the very least an average player, but those moments of utter clumsiness are still with you. And you know what the best thing to do with those memories is? Laugh at them, of course. And if such memories are too few for you to make your belly ache with mirth, don’t worry, as this is our selection of the best sports jokes that have ever existed on the internet. And the sheer amount of these funny jokes should do the trick!
And it truly doesn’t matter which of the sports you sympathize with – all of them are covered in this compendium. For those thinking about bouncy orange balls all day long, we have basketball jokes. For the aficionados of running, kicking, and sliding sideways on the grass, we have soccer jokes. And for those with ruined elbows, we have a nice selection of tennis jokes! So, no matter where your moments of ineptitude began, you will find a cool joke here that will make you feel seen and heard.
So, are you ready to read our jokes about sports? If yes, then tighten up your shoelaces, put on a sweatband, take a sip of your fav electrolyte drink and get ready to sweat out some calories laughing! Give the funny sports jokes you liked the best your vote and share this article with your friends!
#1
Where does a majority of a hockey player’s salary come from?
The tooth fairy.
#2
What does a Bulls fan do after they see their team win?
Rewind the VHS tape.
#3
What happens if Usain Bolt misses his bus?
He waits for it at the next stop.
#4
I asked my trainer at the gym if I could start shadow boxing.
He said, “Knock yourself out!”
#5
Why are baseball games at night?
The bats sleep during the day.
#6
If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you!
#7
What is the most depressing thing about tennis?
You’ll never be as good as a wall.
#8
Which sport is always in trouble?
BADminton.
#9
During the World Cup in Brazil, the England team visited an orphanage. “It was heart-breaking to see their sad little faces with no hope,” said João, age 6.
#10
What are the rules for zebra baseball?
Three stripes and you’re out.
#11
What’s a golfer’s favorite letter?
Tee!
#12
Swimming is a confusing sport, because sometimes you do it for fun, and other times you do it to not die.
#13
My friend and I visited Canada together for the first time.
We went to a fight, and a hockey game broke out.
#14
Why don’t grasshoppers watch soccer?
They watch cricket, instead.
#15
What is a banana’s favorite gymnastics move?
The splits!
#16
Where do cheating gymnasts go?
Behind parallel bars!
#17
What do an angry bunny and a pro basketball player have in common?
Mad hops.
#18
Which goalie can jump higher than the crossbars?
All of them. Crossbars can’t jump.
#19
When should baseball players wear armor?
When they’re playing knight games.
#20
What did the baseball glove say to the ball?
“Catch ya later!”
#21
Why is Yankee Stadium the coolest place to be?
It’s full of fans.
#22
Why doesn’t the basketball team have a website?
They can’t string together three Ws.
#23
What does a basketball player do once he loses his sight?
Become a referee.
#24
Why do basketball players like cookies?
It’s just another excuse to dunk.
#25
What kind of tea do football players drink?
Penaltea.
#26
What would you name it if you had a basketball-playing shark?
It’d be called Sharq.
#27
Soccer is a strange game.
It’s a bunch of people running away from their goals.
#28
How many tennis players does it take to change a light bulb?
None, because they all say, “What do you mean it was out, it was in!”
#29
What animal is best at hitting a baseball?
A bat, of course.
#30
Why couldn’t the dog run in the marathon?
Because he wasn’t a part of the human race!
#31
What lights up a soccer stadium?
A soccer match.
#32
What can you serve but never eat?
A volleyball.
#33
What does a softball pitcher and a professional bowler have in common?
They both know how to throw a strike.
#34
What is the hardest thing about skateboarding?
Concrete.
#35
A gymnast walks into a bar… She has then deducted five points.
#36
I kept wondering why the baseball was getting bigger.
Then it hit me.
#37
What is cardboard’s favorite sport?
Boxing.
#38
What’s the difference between a ball hog and time?
Time passes.
#39
Who’s the best basketball player in a galaxy far far away?
Kobe-Wan Kenobi.
#40
My partner just split up with me because they think I’m obsessed with football. I’m a bit gutted about it – we’d been going out for three seasons.
#41
Which soccer team has nailed their formation?
The Hammers.
#42
Why do Lakers fans trim their nails with scissors?
Because they hate Clippers.
#43
Why does a pitcher raise one leg when he throws the ball?
If he raises them both, he’d fall down.
#44
Why can’t you play soccer in the jungle?
There are too many cheetahs!
#45
Why did the soccer ball quit the team?
He was tired of being kicked around.
#46
Did you hear about the referee that got fired from the NBA?
Supposedly he’s a whistleblower.
#47
Why are basketball players such messy eaters?
They’re always dribbling.
#48
Why did the football coach go to the bank?
To get his quarter back.
#49
Why couldn’t the all-star football player listen to any music?
He broke all the records.
#50
Why was the tiny ghost asked to join the football team?
They needed a little team spirit.
#51
Why couldn’t the defensive end pass any of his tests?
He was a tackling dummy.
#52
What does a hockey play and a magician have in common?
They both do hat tricks.
#53
Why do hipsters love field hockey?
Because it’s ice hockey before it gets cool.
#54
Why are hockey players so good at making friends?
They’re quick to break the ice.
#55
Why couldn’t anyone see the soccer ball?
The defense cleared it.
#56
Soccer is surprisingly relevant to my life.
Just consider the lack of goals.
#57
How many Manchester City soccer fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
None — they’re quite happy living in the shadows.
#58
What does a Timberwolves fan do after they win the finals?
Turn off his Playstation and go to bed.
#59
I’ve decided to participate in a competition of stair climbing. I guess I’ll definitely have to step up my game.
#60
Real golfers don’t miss putts, they get robbed.
#61
I know an untidy guy who’s excellent at playing soccer.
What a Messi guy.
#62
I had a Kyrie Irving joke but it fell flat.
#63
Where can you find a golfer on a Saturday night?
Clubbing.
#64
Why is tennis a really loud sport?
It’s because the players raise quite a racket.
#65
What should NASA do if it wants to explore water on Mars?
Send a golfer there to hit a golf ball.
#66
What did the tennis player say before playing with vanilla ice cream?
“I’d like a soft serve, please!”
#67
Why was the tennis club’s website down?
They had problems with their server.
#68
Why couldn’t the bike finish the Olympic race?
It was two-tired.
#69
If procrastination was an Olympic sport,
I’d compete in it later.
#70
What do Chelsea and US Navy have in common?
They both spent 50mil on a sub.
#71
How do baseball players stay cool?
They sit next to their fans!
#72
Where do old bowling balls end up?
In the gutter!
#73
Where do retired hockey players prefer working?
At the bakery, they are good at icing the cakes.
#74
What basketball player would be a great spokesperson for autumn?
Tacko Fall.
#75
What did the manager do when the pitch became flooded?
He sent on his subs!
#76
What do you call 20 FC Barcelona fans in the basement?
A whine cellar.
#77
What did the football player say to the flight attendant?
“Put me in coach!”
#78
I’ve got a great idea for a NBA themed fast-food restaurant.
Shake-Shaq.
#79
Why did people in the NBA think Michael Jordan was conceited?
Because he was always putting on Airs.
#80
Where do catchers sit at lunch?
Behind the plate.
#81
What has 18 legs and catches flies?
A baseball team.
#82
How do baseball players keep in touch?
They touch base every once in a while.
#83
Which fast-food chain is most likely to win a basketball tournament?
Dunkin’ Donuts.
#84
What’s Prince Charles’ favorite American basketball team?
Sacramento Kings.
#85
Why did the fish refuse to play basketball?
He was afraid of the net.
#86
What’s the difference between England and a teabag?
A teabag could stay in the cup for longer.
#87
Where do football players go when they need new uniforms?
New Jersey.
#88
How do football players deal with their problems?
They tackle them head-on.
#89
Why did the boy climb up the tree with a hockey stick
Cause he wanted to join the maple leafs.
#90
Hockey players are known for their summer teeth.
Summer here, summer there.
#91
Hockey players are like goldfish.
Just tap on the glass to get their attention.
#92
How did the soccer pitch end up as a triangle?
Somebody took a corner!
#93
How do lacrosse players deliver their messages?
They do it by Air Mail.
#94
What are you going to do if someone asked for a donation for your local swimming pool?
I’d give them a glass of water.
#95
I shot one under at golf today. One under a tree, one under a bush and one under the water.
#96
What’s a Philosopher’s favorite sport?
Mental gymnastics.
#97
How long does it take for the gymnast to get to practice?
A split second!
#98
The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you’re not in shape for it, it’s too far to walk back.
#99
Why is it never a good idea to take a batsman, who is scared of the short ball, out to a nightclub?
He always gets into a tangle with the bouncer.
#100
If self-depreciation was a sport, I’d probably be pretty rubbish at that too.
#101
Why did the skydiving club disband?
Because they had a falling out.
#102
Why can’t a pig play hockey?
They hog the puck.
#103
Why do volleyball players like to go swimming?
They enjoy diving in the deep and floating in the shallow.
#104
Where’s the best place to watch the Raiders in the super bowl?
The History Channel.
#105
How many softball players does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They’re too busy arguing the last call.
#106
What did the triangle offense say to the ball?
You’re pointless.
#107
Why does someone who runs marathons make a good student?
Because education pays off in the long run!
#108
What’s the difference between a pickpocket and an umpire?
One steals watches and one watches steals.
#109
Which hockey players can not be trusted? Anyone on the Devils.
#110
Why can’t the Detroit Lions player get into his own driveway?
Someone painted an endzone on it.
#111
What happened to the joke that Tom Brady told his receivers? It went over their heads.
#112
What does JETS stand for?
Just End The Season.
#113
Why don’t baseball players join unions?
Because they don’t like to be called out on strikes.
#114
What is the difference between a Dallas Cowboys jersey and a dollar bill?
A dollar bill is good for 4 quarters.
#115
Why did the Braves hire a baker?
They needed a new batter.
#116
What goes all the way around the baseball field but never moves?
The fence.
#117
Why can’t basketball players go on vacation?
They aren’t allowed to travel.
#118
Why was the basketball player sitting on the sidelines drawing chickens?
Coach told her to learn how to draw fouls.
#119
What do you call twelve millionaires gathered around the TV to watch the NBA Finals?
The Sacramento Kings.
#120
What do you call a person who walks back and forth screaming one minute then sits down and starts crying the next?
Every sports coach ever.
#121
Why are hockey rinks rounded?
Because if they were 90 degrees, the ice would melt.
#122
What did the skeleton drive to the hockey game?
The Zam-bony.
#123
How do hockey players kiss?
They pucker up.
#124
Why are soccer players excellent at math?
They know how to use their heads.
#125
Two soccer teams play a game against each other. The home team wins, but not a single man from either team scored a goal. How can this be?
They were women’s teams.
#126
I tried to start a soccer club, so I put up some posters on a local bulletin board to get the ball rolling.
#127
What does a baseball player do when he starts losing his eyesight?
He becomes an umpire.
#128
Why didn’t the dog want to play football?
It was a boxer!
#129
What position would Luke Skywalker play if he was on the Star Wars hockey team?
X-Wing.
#130
Why are lacrosse players never on time?
Because they’re always cutting it close.
#131
Fencers don’t mess around, they get straight to the point.
#132
What runs along the edge of the pitch but never moves?
The sideline!
#133
What stat do the Miami Dolphins lead every single year?
All porpoise yardage!
#134
What position do ghosts play in soccer?
Ghoulie.
#135
Who played in the pirate Super Bowl?
The Tampa Bay Buccaneers and the Seattle Seahawks.
#136
Where do they keep the largest diamond in New York City?
Yankee Stadium.
#137
Why should you never go back in time to alter the outcome of a football game?
Then you’ll be charged with interference.
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