Most of us tell little white lies in our everyday lives, maybe claiming you adore cheesy pasta on a first date even though you can barely stomach it, or telling your boss you love the new office décor when you really don’t. Usually, these fibs are harmless and keep things smooth. But sometimes, even the tiniest lie can snowball out of control.
For example, someone online asked, “What started as a small lie but then snowballed into ‘This is my life now?’” The responses were wild. From pretending to like peanut butter to ending up in unexpected marriages, the stories prove that small fibs can take on lives of their own. Keep scrolling, you won’t believe some of these twists!
#1
Told a small lie to a girl I was texting that I love running, dunno how it sold because I was fat. Started running the second after I sent that. 5 years later I went from 298 to 180.
Not bad.
#2
My freshman year of college I was walking around campus when a very friendly looking girl waved at me. I’m awkward, so of course I waved back. The next week, the same thing.
This began the weirdest saga of my life.
For the next two years, we greeted each other as old friends every time we came across the other. She knew my name (somehow?), I never could figure hers out and it was WAY too late to ask. I just pretended I knew who she was and why she knew me.
Finally, I joined the honors program and entered my classes for my thesis. Who should be in this class but mystery girl! I was horrified. I wouldn’t be able to pass it off anymore.
First day of class we are all sitting there chatting and she greets me by name, again. I had finally learned her name from attendance, thank God. Someone asks, finally, “oh, so do you two know each other? Where’d you meet?”
Silence.
I stare at her. She stares at me. Finally she breaks down wailing. “I don’t know! I don’t know, okay, we’ve just been waving at each other for two years and it was too late to ask!”
Shes standing in my wedding next spring as one of my bridesmaids and very best friends.
Edit: I’m a chick, she’s not 100% sure how she learned my name, hi Ty, love you dude!
Image source: Mselaneous, Zen Chung
#3
I told my parents i bought a duck when I was 20 to tease them. I found a picture online of one and sent it to them. Sadly, they believed me. They got overly excited about their “grand-duck” and told my whole family. I ended up buying a duck…
Image source: anon, Kerin Gedge
#4
My mother was a super control freak, so one of the ways I would avoid home was after school extracurriculars. I got the date wrong on a math team meeting, so I lied to my mom about it while actually attending the debate team intro meeting. I probably didn’t need to lie, but it was always safer to not disrupt her precious schedule. Eventually, debate became a regular activity for me to avoid home.
In 3 years, I was a state semifinalist and in college, I coached the high school national champions and turned that into a free ride for a masters degree.
Image source: loungeboy79, Getty Images
#5
“Yea I’d say I’m pretty good with excel.”
No. No I wasn’t.
Annnnnnd now I’m an analyst at a fortune 400 company.
Image source: anon, Mika Baumeister
#6
When I was little, my grandma would make me these horrible frozen chicken tenders filled with cheese. They were just god-awful. Because I am a good grandson, I told her that I loved them. From then on, every time that I visited her, she would cook me those abominations. Even when I was in graduate school, I would go visit her and for one meal, I would have to slide those gross things down my gullet.
Every time I would say, “Thanks! I love them!” The things we do for love…
Image source: the_planes_walker, Centre for Ageing Better
#7
Somebody thought I was jewish and I didn’t want to correct them because I hate confrontation. So now everyone in the school thinks im Jewish and my homeroom got me a Passover card signed by everyone my brain told me it was time to stop but I didn’t want to ruin the thought of the gesture.
Image source: anon, Jordan González
#8
I was homeless, sleeping under a bridge in charlotte near the music factory. I needed a job so I dressed as best I could, which wasn’t very well, walked into a bar on 7th and lied about my work experience. They gave me the job , I started working that day. They paid me cash after every shift. I worked there for three years, became the manager, and now I love cooking. Never cooked a day in my life up till that point.
A lady, in her 50s,who was acting as the kitchen manager trained me. She knew I lied, but she also knew I was in trouble. I couldn’t even cut a tomato. She saved my life. She didn’t tell anyone and kept training me even though sometimes I’d piss her off but I always tried to do better. I got an apartment a month into the job using another cook to call the apartment and let them know how much I get paid cause they wanted that for some reason. I was getting paid $11 under the table so nothing was on record which is why he had to call.
I worked as a line cook immediately. It was overwhelming. I’m not from the city and the work was fast paced. I would study on my time off by watching youtube and cooking at home.
Edited for more info
Answers to frequently asked questions
I became homeless at the age of 19, really. I kept bouncing around from couch to couch because I had a rough home life. I just wanted to get away, from Ohio, and moved to Charlotte when I was 20 trying to get a job as an audio engineer. It didnt pan out, but I didnt want to come back home so I stayed. I was homeless up until I was 22
The bar I worked at was a dive bar whose name cannot be mentioned. The ship sank a year or two ago, though I left there when I was 25.
I do not live in Charlotte at the moment
I cant make too many recommendations for where to eat as I do not think that is fair for you. I havent eaten at some of the places I normally would eat in that neighborhood and when I lived in the hood (Plaza Midwood) I only ate at home or anywhere that makes sushi lol
Thank you all for the absolutely lovely comments.
Image source: anon, Giulia Squillace
#9
I was dating a girl and I met her parents. I was a freshman in college seeking my physics degree, when I met her dad he asked me why in the world I would go into physics when it is a difficult field to get work in. Thinking on the spot I said “yeah I’ve thought about that too and I’ve decided to switch to mechanical engineering”. Welp I’ll be getting my mech engineering degree this may
Edit:
To answer some questions that have been coming up.
1) yes i know what potatoes are
2) no I broke up with her
3) Yes im very happy with my decision to switch to engineering.
Image source: ThePlanckNumber, Getty Images
#10
Not me but my Dad. We moved and he was convinced the postman’s name was ‘Ger’ as in short for Gerry. He greeted him by it, nearly every day for about 10 years. We even gave him a Christmas card which he displayed down in the sorting office.
Fast forward and we have a temporary post man, my Mum asking him after a few weeks ‘When is Ger coming back?’ This was met with stunned silence and a puzzled look, with a resounding ‘Who is Ger? No one works in the locality by that name’
Turns out, his name is Declan and he was too nice to correct my Dad for close to a decade.
Image source: djaxial
#11
Back in High School, someone in my freshman English class thought he heard someone call me Louis, so he started calling me Louis. Not really a friend, just someone I spoke to on occasion. Now high school me thought he was just him trying to be funny, and didn’t care to correct him and he continued to call me Louis and whenever I heard him call for me I responded.
It wasn’t until our last week of senior year that he stops me in his tracks and goes. “Someone told me your name isn’t Louis. Is your name Louis?”
“No.”
“I-I’ve been calling you Louis for 4 years! I thought that was your name!”
Image source: anon
#12
In Vegas for a bachelor party. I was 21 or 22 at the time. Got wasted. Made a bet with a friend while we were out at the club: “If you’re wrong, you have to pretend to be British the rest of the night.”
I lost. I was British.
Met a girl, who started talking to me because she overheard me saying something to my friends in a British accent. She thought that I was British. I went with it.
I slept with said girl. Had to wake up hungover the next morning and continue to be British. She said that we should hang out again that night. Sure. Meet said girl, and she’s brought all of her friends – who all think that I’m British. So I’m British again, but around more people. My friends can’t take it every time I talk. One tried to be Australian around the girl’s friends, but was called out for being a fraud.
My fraudulence continued to go unnoticed. Had to answer all kinds of questions about my life and childhood. I had never been to the U.K. Fortunately, I was an English lit major, and also watched a 3 or 4 British movies. Mostly Monty Python. Thus, I was more or less an expert on all things British.
I got tired of doing the accent. So I started saying deliberately incorrect things about England to see if someone would call me out (more fun than randomly admitting it). Turns out that 21 year old American women are too dumb to know a thing about England, so they were incapable of pointing out my lies.
I like to think that, to this day, 12 years later, there are girls out there who think that the British invented tea and only drink it on Wednesdays, that Cromwell was a benevolent leader who gave out free pheasant to the impoverished Irish, that James Bond was written by an Indian guy, and that the only reason that Brits are known to dress nicely is because it’s illegal to not wear a tie on weekdays.
The accent took over my mind so completely that, when a guy in line at that restroom said something to me (in a very clearly English accent), I instinctively responded in an English accent. He got excited. I realized what I had done, but just went with it. He introduced me to his friends (mates). They mentioned that they couldn’t pinpoint where I was from. I told them my mom was American and I lived half my life in Maine (lies), and that’s why I have a strange accent. They went with it.
Brought the Brits back to our group. So now I had British homies. My friends couldn’t believe it. I’ve entered British Level 5,000. So many level ups in so short a time.
Slept with that girl again. Even talked dirty to her. Didn’t know how to talk dirty Britishly. I said “I’ve come” instead of “I’m coming.” Thought that the present perfect made dirty talk sound more British than the standard present continuous. I laughed at my own lies. The British are coming, indeed.
I admitted to her the next day that I wasn’t British. She didn’t believe me, and refused to accept that I was American. So I was British for another half a day.
Thanks Maggie, for the good time, and for believing in me. That’s when I realized that I really could be anything that I wanted to be.
Edit: words
And more: thanks for the feedback. Honestly, the story is a lot crazier and more convoluted than this, but it would take a book to write it. I even had a Mrs. Doubtfire restaurant scene moment where I had to oscillate between British and American on the same casino floor. I wish I still that girl’s phone number just so I could call and be like, “Hey! Remember that English guy you slept with in Vegas 12 years ago? Well, about that…”
I even imagined a scenario where I unknowingly got her pregnant, and when the kid asked her about his dad, she’d tell him, “He was a charming gentleman from England, sweetie. I received a letter saying that he perished at Waterloo.”
Image source: giro_di_dante
#13
Once my boyfriends mom asked me if I liked their bathroom soap. It’s lavender, I don’t like lavender. But I decided to tell her “I love it, it smells so good!”
Now I have an endless supply, she buys me some all the time. It’s too sweet to tell her the truth, so I just keep it to myself and use the mediocre-smelling soap.
Oh well, this is how I live now
Edit: I will ask for different soap, I’ve been given plenty of encouragement, thank you :)
Edit 2: I will really send you lavender stuff I have if you pay for shipping. PM me, serious inquiries only.
Image source: Llebanna, Meruyert Gonullu
#14
People picked on my brother in high school for getting jumped by some wannabe “blood” thugs in the bathroom. Popular thugs, if you can believe it. It was relentless. His confidence and any friendships were crushed, cause, you know, people can’t be seen with the loser.
One day I was confronted by said thugs, basically talking trash about my brother, and in my infinite wisdom, I said I could box so they better back off. Something to that affect. Looking back, I cringe, but you do what you have to.
Needless to say, they did not back off. Somehow, I landed a punch on one of the kids that dislocated his jaw. Like, flapping around like a mouth piece hanging from a football helmet.
I became the kid who could “box” but never wanted to fight, which I guess gave me credibility. I don’t really know. Everyone and their hyena came to me asking where they could learn said boxing skills, how I’d learned by 16. I’d wanted to just come out and say I had been lucky, but I didn’t want anyone to pick on my brother. So the lie stayed.
Luckily, no one ever picked on my brother afterwards, and I did eventually learn some boxing fundamentals, but most because I felt like I was living a lie. Which I was. As a man, I have not had to keep up the facade.
Image source: PhotoreceptiveFlyer
#15
Wasn’t a drinker in high school so to shut down peer pressure I told them I was born with half a liver and drinking anything could make me very sick.
The lie just became natural and followed me to college. Was out with some friends playing pool and decided to have a beer. When I came back, a buddy slapped it out of my hand thinking I didn’t want to live. Then the explanations began…
Image source: dopplegangerexpress
#16
I did online homeschooling for a few years and there was a forum where you could socialize with other students enrolled in the school. During this time I was big into making music on a DAW I had downloaded. I didn’t know how to play any instruments, but I could still download different drum beats and guitar riffs from the dev’s website. I shared a few songs with my fellow “classmen” and told everyone that I could play guitar and had a friend that tracked the drums. Eventually people started asking me for guitar lessons or more songs. I couldn’t keep up the lie so I told them that my friend moved to Africa for a missions trip and would not return for the forseeable future. But everyone in that forum thought I could play guitar. I couldn’t, and still can’t play to save my life.
Image source: Primitive_Teabagger
#17
I was looking for a job and I didn’t want to be a fast food manager anymore so I fluffed out my resume with computer skills I didn’t have. I was contacted by a recruiter who asked me some questions to gauge my abilities and I straight googled the answers as he was asking them. When I went to the interview, the boss had all of these circuit boards sitting all over his desk. I recognized them as Raspberry pis from Reddit. So I asked what he was using them for. The rest of the interview was just this guy bragging about all of these projects he had going on. He might as well have been speaking Greek. I just feigned interest and said wow a lot. I’m hired. Who knows how this happened but I have literally googled every problem I have been given. Day 543, they still think I know what I’m doing.I’m making 1.5 times what I was making as a manager. I have a GED for christsakes.
Image source: realitygenrator
#18
When I was 12 years old, I lied about my age and made myself older for about 3 years, so I could still be somewhat cool in WoW.
Now some of my WoW friends settled over with me to other games, and whenever I meet someone new, they’re likely connected to them.
At this point it’s too awkward to explain that I’m not the oldest, but in fact the youngest in our friendgroup.
Image source: Abbsterx, Oleg Ivanov
#19
I moved to a new city, and got a new dentist. For some reason, the guy thinks I used to see him at his old practice in a town I’ve never lived in. I corrected him a couple times, but he just keeps bringing it up, so now I just kind of roll with it. He asks after my parents, which is easy enough…but we’ve had all kinds of conversations about local restaurants I’ve never been to and other random stuff like that.
Image source: Davran, Getty Images
#20
I was a new graduate student freshly arrived in the US and very poor, and I couldn’t afford a laptop, so the only way I could communicate with my family was to hit up the library and use a public computer to email with them. Eventually my girlfriend back home wanted to skype, and I wanted a little privacy for this if you know what I mean, so I set about finding the most private computer available to me in the library.
On a recon mission the day before the Skype, I located a single computer in a conference room and the next morning got up at 7am to account for the time difference and walked into the conference room with my eyes totally focused on the computer. I’d actually walked most of the way in before I realized there was a group of people around the conference table having a ridiculously early morning meeting. The guy at the head of the table, apparently thinking I’d showed up for the meeting and that I was heading towards him, handed me a paper that said “agenda” and said he was so glad a graduate student had shown up, then launched into the most incomprehensible talk about electrodes and chemistry.
Meanwhile I know my girlfriend is sitting halfway around the world thinking I’m blowing her off and I’m feeling desperate. But everything I knew about US culture was only based on movies, so I have no idea if I can just apologize and leave or what. I miserably sat down for the incomprehensible meeting, rehearsing all the excuses I can give my girlfriend when we talk later. I was barely paying attention. Eventually questions were directed at me and I confess that I’m a new grad student and I don’t know much about the equipment they’re talking about. Everyone excitedly tells me all about it and I still don’t totally understand what they mean, except I’m starting to get that they’re going on a research expedition to [an insanely exciting inaccessible dangerous place] and they’re building a piece of equipment to bring with them.
By the end of the meeting I am part of the project. 6 months later I am in [an insanely exciting inaccessible dangerous place] helping to operate this equipment. I appear briefly in the background of a Discovery Channel documentary (only black guy within hundreds of miles so easy to spot). I happily transfer to this other lab and this other field for my fully paid and stipended PhD. I am considered a real go getter, mainly based on my arrival at an early morning meeting no one else wanted to attend. New major, new field, new life because I was too awkward to admit I had just been in the room to skype with my girlfriend.
*EDIT 1:* Broke up with the girlfriend but we’re still friends. Have a new girlfriend now and have never told her this story for obvious reasons. Also my advisor doesn’t know. He was the enthusiastic guy at the head of the table and he loves his work so much that he never questioned that a business major would show up to hear all about it and get converted to love it as much as he does. He’s still exactly that oblivious and enthusiastic. He will probably tell my conversion story at my upcoming defense.
*EDIT 2:* Thank you for my first gold ever, kind stranger! And for all the kind comments! I know how lucky I have been, I really do.
Image source: anon
#21
I have one. A good friend of mine did not have an umbrella on a very rainy day. One of her coworkers offered her a lift home. One lift home turned into two, then three, until he was shuttling her to and from work everyday for months. This coworker is also a very good baker, he would make these lovely cakes and pastries and offer them to her which she politely took, every day. Then one afternoon, on her way home, he stops and picks up his parents. He happily introduces her as his girlfriend. She was shocked by this title to say the least.They proceeded to invite her to a family gathering over the long weekend to meet EVERYONE. His parents, they were so nice, she accepted because she didn’t have the heart to embarrass the guy. She went to the gathering, met with other family members and he kept introducing her as his girlfriend. She never worked up the nerve to correct or stop him. Long story short they are now married.
Edit: I did not expect this type of response for this story! I will address some of your questions. Yes, this is a very real story. The man is incredibly socially awkward. He liked his coworker for a long time, so driving her home and baking cakes was his way of “working up the nerve” to talk to a pretty girl. She always thought he was sweet and kind but since he was never forward with his feelings, she only saw him as a friend. I am outside of the U.S. so there is a culture difference for some readers. However, this is still a bizarre courtship story in my country. After the family gathering, they sat down and had a long talk about their feelings and expectations and he finally asked her out on a proper date. They went on to date for 2 years and have been happily married for the past 5 years. Some of you called it a romance between two socially awkward people, good observations.
Image source: habitual_wanderer, KoolShooters
#22
I moved to a new city when I was in 6th grade and on the same day I started two other boys started and they both knew how to skateboard, so I lied and said I did to. Then for months I lied about being able to skateboard to them and other kids at the school, and I never came clean because I didn’t want anyone to call me a poser. So I bought skater boy clothes, and a skateboard and learned how to skateboard because I lied about knowing how to skateboard. Still skating since then. I’m 27 now.
Image source: Outrageous_Claims
#23
This is one that doesn’t bother me. I had a coworker with memory issues or dementia and he called me Kevin once in awhile, not my name obviously. It made me laugh and one of my coworkers started calling me Kevin and telling new employees that’s my name. This was 3 years ago and it is still going.
at the same time I told my son who thought it was hilarious, and somehow it morphed into me calling him Kevin, and my cat too. So I would yell downstairs, “Kevin, is Kevin down there?”. My son told his best friend, and they started calling each other Kevin. Now when I see my son’s friend I call him Kevin. for this story to come full circle, my son and said friend came to my office and I introduced them as my son Kevin and his friend Kevin.
also my sister now calls my son Kevin.
edit: Since this has a little traction I will add more. The coworker who calls me Kevin calls my son Kev-dog and we call my son Kevie when he starts acting like a tool, to make it sound like we are talking to a 9 year old (he’s 16).
Image source: Jade_Pornsurge, freepik
#24
Living in a College Town, every year around spring graduation there’s one or two “I’m here to see my kid graduate, but I haven’t been able to locate them” families. Usually kids that stopped going, pocketed their parents money, and/or just gave up and couldn’t handle telling the family.
It ends sadly sometimes.
That’s a big lie/deception to deal with and maintain. It almost always comes to a head.
Image source: YunalescaSedai
#25
When I was 14 years old I played with a group of other kids on stage during the 2008 Hawaii International Ukulele Festival. Jack Johnson was performing and we were behind him strumming along. Hundreds of us. This story has turned so thoroughly into-I played on stage side by side with him just the two of us- that I can’t correct people anymore and just shamefully accept the oohs and ahhs when it gets retold.
Image source: Axinyew
#26
My uncle’s name is Ernie and he owns a restaurant, and likes to talk to guests when they arrive and leave. One of the patrons that eats there a lot, confused his name with Bert, a la Bert and Ernie. Being the pleasant and polite asian dude he is, he didn;t have the heart to correct him. Now whenever this one customer comes, the staff and and my aunt (the manager) has to call him Bert. He is my uncle Bert now.
Image source: seen720
#27
I didn’t want to go to dinner with the gang from work, including my boss, so I told them I was having dinner with my wife and her parents. I lied.
I get home, wife wants to go out to dinner. So, we head to the restaurant, and just as we’re getting near the door, I see the work gang with my loudmouth boss all piling out of their cars. What are odds of us picking the same restaurant? Busted.
There was an old couple walking into the restaurant in front of us. I held the door for them, and insisted they join us for dinner. They were quite perplexed, but accepted my offer of a free dinner.
It was the most uncomfortable dinner ever. They had no clue who we were, none of us had any shared interests… they rushed through dinner, thanked us, and got the hell away from what I’m sure they thought were a couple of weirdos.
Image source: disgustipated
#28
My husband’s best friend has a 6 year old daughter that I see often. When she was almost 3 she babbled something to me (I think it was “My friends here!”) and my husband interpreted it as “My friend Steve!” and started calling me Steve in front of her. Now her whole family call me Steve when she’s around, and she still believes that’s my name. For clarity, I’m a female and my name isn’t anything close to Steve.
Edit: Seems like there are a lot of non-Steve Steves out there, I may need to create a new sub for us all,
~~/r /inexplicablySteve~~ /r/SuddenlySteve Edit: /u/Saloncinx has done it!
Image source: rebel_nature
#29
I convinced pretty much everyone in my life that I was allergic to coconut at a young age. I simply just didn’t like it at all and it was a good way to avoid eating it (logic of a pre-teen mind).
My mom played along.
It wasn’t until about 3 years ago when my mother in law had a surprise birthday party for her husband and she made a german chocolate cake. The kicker here: she did HALF of it coconut and half without so I could enjoy the cake and not have an allergic reaction to it.
I broke down. Laughed. Told them it wasn’t true and I actually am not allergic.
Her face melted. I hadn’t realized how long I had kept up the lie until that very moment.
**TL;DR: Convinced everyone I was allergic to coconut then had to confess at a surprise birthday party when half the cake was non-coconut so I didn’t die.**.
Image source: gingerroute
#30
When I first got Married back in 2005, my wife asked me if I like Creamy Peanutbutter. I knew she did, so I told her “Yeah that’s great!”. She buys creamy peanut butter, I buy creamy peanut butter. About 3 years ago, she’s doing some experiment or something with our daughter and she needed chunky peanut butter. I saw it in the pantry and exclaim “Oh chunky peanut butter, I love this stuff!” to which she responds “… You do? I’ve been buying Creamy peanut butter all these years because you told me that was your favorite”
So long story a little shorter, we both prefer chunky peanut butter by a large margin, but had been buying creamy for ten years because we both thought it was what the other preferred.
Reading that back, we’re pretty boring people. yep :D.
Image source: SSChicken
#31
This is a lie that ends well :)
40 years ago, when I was my final secondary school (high-school) year, I decided that I wanted to be a Civil Engineer and study Civil Engineering. My father, who probably had some doubts about my choice, arranged for me to spend a week in a civil engineering office owned my a friend of his. I spent a week there and definitely knew one thing afterwards – that I *did not* want to become a Civil Engineer!
So… a couple of months later, I was walking through the centre of town and met the owner of the Civil Engineering company that I had spent the week with.
He says:
“Hey, 1000000CHF, how are you? Still planning on becoming a Civil Engineer?”
I’m a bit flustered (as I often was at that age) and don’t know what to say, so I say:
“No, actually I’ve decided to study eh… hmm… Computer Science” (The 1st lie)
He says:
“That’s great. A career for the future.”
We say good-day and go upon our separate ways.
A few weeks later, while I’m actually sitting my final school exams, he calls me and says “Hey, 1000000CHF, I’m starting a computer company, would you like to join?”
I say: “But, but… I’m about to start University to study Computer Science” (The reinforcement of the 1st lie)
He says: “Great! We’ll pay your University and you work all your spare hours for us.”
So I was trapped. Because of my lies I ended up studying Computer Science in a top University and getting a great degree and postgrad degree while earning a full income on the side (this was the 80s).
But the silver-lining was that I actually fell into a career that I absolutely love and never want to quit.
Forty years later I still get enthusiastic about interesting new technologies and have created two successful I.T. companies that are still operating. I’m actually in the process of creating another this month. Despite the management tasks, I still succeed in spending over 70% of my time doing what I love – developing modern, quality software. Clients and developers that work with me respect my opinions and are very often surprised at how I stay on top of the technology trends. But what I really derive my career satisfaction from is knowing that there are millions of people out there using software that I designed and wrote every day.
TL;DR: a lie and a reinforcement of the lie led to me having, and continuing to have, a very successful career in software development.
Image source: 1000000CHF
#32
I became friends with one of the managers at Panera. One day as I was giving a cashier my order, he told her to give me the same discount as they give to firemen, police and paramedics, i think. He just chose this discount as it was an easy button to push on the register. Well this cashier really thought I was a fireman. I’m not. So for the next two years this cashier gave me the discount. Even if she wasn’t serving me, she would go out of her way to tell the cashier that was helping me, “He’s a fireman, give him the discount”. It snowballed into such an awkward situation that I didn’t know how to get out of it. Luckily that cashier eventually transferred to another store and I now happily pay full price.
Image source: Steve0512, Mike Mozart
#33
An electrician came and priced up a job at our rental property.
He greeted me with “Hi Ian! I’ve come to price some work up” I replied “yep, that’s me”.
My name is not Ian, it’s not even close to Ian. I was too British to correct him with his error, so I just went along with it, its not the worst lie I’ve ever come out with.
In my head I’m thinking, at worst the guy is just going to call me Ian again when he leaves.
He was in my flat for a good 20 minutes, calling me Ian during conversations we had.
Not once did I correct him, just stayed in character as Ian.
Weeks went by and he eventually came back to do the work at the flat. My mrs and me had the day off, I had forgotten about the whole Ian thing until that day, so I explained to her that if she talked to me that day to call me Ian. It’s just easier.
Image source: onefortysevenone
#34
I’m from a small town and was super worried/anxious about how college would go. After move-in day, everyone on our floor had to go around saying our major/ what we wanted to do occupation wise. I was 4th to go.
The first three people say, ‘doctor’, ‘lawyer’, ‘surgeon’ . I’m convinced at this point that everyone in college was way smarter than me and had their s**t together. You’re on reddit, you get it.
Anyway, I blank, blurt out economics as my major, then say ‘Professor’ because it was the best thing I thought you could do w/ that.
So now I’m in my 2nd year of PhD program because I just never found a good reason to change from my RA meeting as a freshman.
EDIT: Yes, I found out later that like 80% of the incoming bio majors were “pre-med” because it’s all talk. If you are 18, don’t make the mistake I did. You should be worried about doing well in college… but the freshmen who look like they are way ahead of you are either, A) lying because they’re scared too B) airheads who don’t think picking majors are worth worrying about.
Image source: BestRapperDylan
#35
I was having a rough time commuting too far for work for a few months. Decided to quit to find something closer to home, but told everyone I had been approved to work from home. When I went to give my two weeks, my manager asked, “I know the driving has been annoying you, how would you feel about working from home?”
Work laptop to my left and watching Great British Masterclass as I type, been working at home since then.
Image source: Geekprincessia
#36
My first relationship. A few days in, then-girlfriend tells me she isn’t ready to go public just yet and if we could just pretend we weren’t together for a few days then she would be ready. Six months later, I had lied to so many people for her I can’t tell whats real anymore and any time I asked her if we could stop because it was messing with me she refused and argued her way out of it. Looking back on this messes with my head to this day. Amazing how much things like that can snowball.
Edit: Should clarify this happened awhile ago, didn’t mean to confuse people.
Image source: Terminator_t101
#37
In my senior year my friend group had this thing of doing self deprecating jokes as an almost kind of competition.
I decided to take it a step further and saying things like “this is why my parents never loved me” or “where can I buy some sturdy rope” essentially joking about being depressed.
The jokes never stopped and I huess when you keep telling yourself something it really does come true.
Two years later guess who’s depressed and seeing a psychiatrist.
Image source: anon
#38
“I love you” turned into 11 years of marriage, 2 kids and a divorce.
I was a young, dumb kid who just wanted to help his insecure girlfriend feel better.
Image source: anon
#39
One time someone who I wanted to be better friends with showed me a metal gear solid meme and me being me I pretended to understand it. I then was forced to research all the games and their plots, Easter eggs, quotable characters, and other memes to better fake understanding. I still have never played a metal gear solid game.
Image source: StandardAlmond
#40
I never swear ever.
Actually, I never swear *out loud* around *other people* because it’s basically one of my character traits to my friends and such at this point. I don’t want to deal with everyone freaking out about it if I did swear around them.
Image source: RayTrain
#41
I live in Cambridge, UK and my go to answer to those “interesting-facts-about-you” moments (you know, corporate icebreakers or interview stuff) is that I got knocked over by Stephen Hawking whilst on the pavement near my house. Partly true as in he lives in the city, travels out and about on said streets. Truth is I just saw him on a path once. I was driving. People love that it’s a bit different so imma keep using it.
Image source: ArtizanBrew
#42
In 4th grade I lied and said I was going to a track meet to impress some friends in class when the teacher asked if anyone was going. I went home and told my mom I needed to sign up for it. I was never good at athletics at this time in my life.
I ended up going to the track meet, it was a 400m race I was entered in, I remember the moment the gun went off I immediately went into a mode I had never remotely gone into before, I was actually ultra competitive for once in my life. I was neck and neck with another kid for the first place spot the entire race, and going into the final stretch I felt like puking and every fiber of my body was burning and he was pulling away. Something came over me and I kicked it into psycho mode and pushed past him for the win and my legs felt like noodles and I collapsed and couldn’t get back up.
That race qualified me for a regional meet, I did that one and won again in similar fashion, then went to the state meet. That started me down a long line of running long distance which involved being one of the best in the nation in high school and getting a scholarship to run in college, and trust me the training at that level consumes your life (100 mile weeks), so it was definitely my life at that point.
Image source: gabriot
#43
My high school was full of toughs. Kids of guys working Baltimore’s steel yards, kids of plumbers and Marines. I was just skinny and shy. I wasn’t tough and I wanted to be. So I made up a story about a non-existent girlfriend. I told it to people who sat at my lunch table. Whenever I wanted to puff myself up, I added to the story. The girlfriend became someone who was so smart that she graduated high school in three years and went to Johns Hopkins on full scholarship.
Then it got out of hand. I made up that I got her pregnant. As the months went by, it became twins. The twins were born and the girlfriend had to drop out of college. I gave the twins names. This went on all the way through graduation.
Fast forward 25 years and it’s a high school reunion. I’m flirting with this woman I had a crush on in high school and we’re both laughing and enjoying the illusion that we might have a little something going. (We’re both married. Nothing was going to happen.) Then we get joined by a couple of the women who used to sit with us at the lunch table and the question of the twins popped up. It caught me totally off guard. I’d forgotten all the lies I told. Then somebody mentioned my “girlfriend” and Johns Hopkins and it all came back. It was like a dark curtain descended. I didn’t know whether to hide behind it or confess. I hid. They were interested, asking me questions. The woman I had been flirting with was leaning against me, one hand laying on my shoulder all friendly like. From the questions, it became apparent that this little group had all been in touch with each other in the years since high school My misadventure and my twins had been something they’d talked about and wondered about.
So I told them the twins were in England, studying at Oxford, that their mother and I were still friendly and that sometimes she and the twins came to visit with me and my wife for Christmas. It was all very civilized and everybody was happy.
I get emails and cards in the mail about high school reunions all the time. I ain’t ever going back. Uh, uh. No way.
Image source: very_large_ears
#44
Friend of mine started a job. Shortly after starting, they were having a company BBQ. He looked at the sausages and was grossed out by them for some reason.
So he claimed he was Jewish to have a polite way to not partake.
Lie snowballed and compounded, and he ended up converting. He is now Jewish.
Image source: CP_Creations
#45
I was working at a small company about 10 years ago, around the holidays. It was approaching Thanksgiving, and the ladies in my department had organized a pot luck luncheon. I was adding my contribution to the sign-up sheet when I noticed that one particular co-worker had signed up to bring brownies. She was a nice, single, older woman who had many pets at home (2-3 cats and as many dogs) and was regularly covered in a layer of pet fur.
The day of the party had arrived, and everyone was going around filling their plates. There they were on the dessert table – the brownies. I didn’t want to eat any of them, but I also didn’t want to be impolite – so I told her I couldn’t have any because I was allergic to nuts.
Fast forward 9 years, and I am out with a friend (who had also been a co-worker at this company) I had kept since that job. After a few drinks, I tell her, tearfully, that I have a confession to make – I’m not really allergic to nuts. She burst out laughing, thinking it was going to be something much more serious than that. She is the only person I have made this confession to.
TL;DR – Couldn’t eat a Reese’s PB cup around a friend for almost a decade.
Image source: missdanz
#46
Told one guy i was canadian bc they asked why i apologized so much. That was in 1st grade, im now a junior in highschool and people are shocked when they find out im not canadian.
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#47
One teacher at school said my name wrong and I was too anxious to correct him. Long story short it’s almost been a year and I’m in too deep to say anything else.
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#48
Said I was a amateur boxer until a real fight popped off. guy was huge, I just put my hands up pretended I knew what I was doing, meanest face I could make. guy stood down, said “you could tell he knows how to fight.” I signed up to my nearest boxing gym the next day. I actually love it!
Image source: anon
#49
When I was about 13 I didn’t like cheese so told my friend I was lactose intolerant. It’s been 7 years and I really miss ice cream.
Image source: Mousepads_
#50
I’ve been making EDM since I was 13, and in my senior year of High School I had the opportunity to play some of my music live with Ableton for my classmates at an event. But, because I couldn’t explain what I was doing in the space provided on the sign-up sheet I just put down “DJ”, thinking that nobody would be knowledgeable enough to know the difference. Apparently everybody liked it so much that the prom committee asked me to DJ prom, and like an idiot I said yes. I waited for my birthday, and made sure that nobody got me any gifts-just money, which I spent on software and a Mixtrack Pro. I learned how to DJ in three months, did prom, got payed 250$. I’m making decent money off of gigs now, and I do the prom every year.
Image source: Sanity_Assasin
#51
So I’m a visiting nurse and started seeing a patient 3 days/week for wound care. He was a paraplegic and didn’t get out much or have many visitors. He offered me a cup of coffee one morning, but I didn’t know him very well yet and was uneasy about drinking something out of unknown person’s kitchen. Plus, we are really not supposed to, but I could tell he just needed a little company. I told him I drink it black to keep it simple, never planning to have another cup. Next day, I come in and notice a little sticky note on his counter that said “Remember to make fresh pot of coffee for Rachael”. It was so touching to me that I went early every single appointment from that day forward to have a cup of black coffee. I hate black coffee but I felt it was too late to tell him I liked creamer after all. I drank black coffee with him for 3.5 years and he became a good friend until he passed away…
Image source: rachabe
#52
My husband works as a data analyst and codes programs and apps for the business side of the company. Once they make an app, it needs an icon to go along with it when it launches. They usually use the company designer, but one day one of his co-workers submitted an icon design for their new app (one my husband had worked on) and others followed. People kept submitting art, so they made it a contest (no prize, just glory). When he got home, he told me about it and then asked if I was interested in joining. That night I did a quick design, he fell in love with it, and asked me to finish it so he could submit it. So I did…
Time passed, my drawing won, and they made it the app icon. Eveything was great, until the day his team was in a meeting with the company VP. The VP had heard about the icon competition and asked who had submitted the winning app icon. One of my husband’s co-workers quickly called out his name before he could say anything. The VP was impressed and then said that he deserved a reward (money reward) for his work. Surprised and too embarrassed to correct the VP, my husband just stayed quiet. Not denying the information made everyone believe he was the artist. He doesn’t have an artistic bone in his body. When he got home, he told me the story and gave me the money for my work. I thought it would end there… but it didn’t!
When their next app was ready for launch someone asked him to make an icon for them because they loved his previous design. He could have put an end to the misinformation then but he was too embrassed, so he said yes. He got home and asked me to make the icon, he even said he would pay me. I found the situation hilarious so, after laughing at him, I agreed… plus I was getting paid.
This has gone on for a while (about 3 years), I have made about 5 icons for the company under my husband’s name. He has been pretty dedicated to keeping up the lie all these years. He has asked me about my process of thought when I draw, so he can tell his co-workers about his method. He asked me about my tablet and the program I use. He brain storms about the drawings with his co-workers and tells me what they want. And when I’m too busy to draw, he tells his co-workers how HE is too busy to draw.
By now it’s our little secret and it has turned into an inside joke. Right now I’m supposed to draw a new icon but I have been so busy that I haven’t had time. So when I see him playing games or chilling on the couch I tease him by saying, “Shouldn’t you be drawing right now?”
tl;dr
Husband was too embarrassed to correct co-workers and company VP about a drawing he submitted for a company app that I had drawn. Co-workers now think he’s an artist when he’s really bad at drawing. He has kept up the lie by paying me to draw new app icons for him.
Image source: EmLockette
#53
My family thinks I just decided college wasn’t for me. I spent three years at a community college doing nothing getting 8 credits and failing out.
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#54
Told my then-girlfriend that I’d like to have kids someday.
I didn’t actually want to, but she was hot and I thought saying that was a good idea at the time.
Now she’s my wife and we have a 1 year-old.
No regrets, though. Being a dad is pretty awesome.
Image source: 64Olds
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