Dealing with a sibling’s child can sometimes be a complicated matter. While you are an adult figure expected to provide some form of guidance, there are lines you can’t cross because you’re not their parent.
This was the cause of a woman’s headache when her nephew pestered her with non-stop prank calls. She sternly told him to cut it out, but it created a rift with her brother, the boy’s father.
Feeling immensely confused, she wonders if she went too far. Scroll down for the entire text.
It may not always be a good idea to scold a child, let alone someone else’s
Image credits: Getty Images / unsplash (not the actual photo)
A woman dealt with the constant prank calls of her nephew, causing her a great deal of distress
Image credits: Getty Images / unsplash (not the actual photo)
She ended up scolding the boy, but it backfired on her
Image credits: Getty Images / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Because of the backlash, she was left confused and wondering if she had done anything wrong
Image credits: captainlux87
Being stern towards a child may do more harm than good
Image credits: Getty Images / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Those who grew up under “old-school parenting” are way too familiar with receiving punishment. It usually came in the form of a spanking, yelling, and scolding, which the author did, all of which were accepted in the past.
However, these methods no longer work, and may have been ineffective all along. As educator and author Janet Lansbury explains, children are at an extremely sensitive and intuitive stage where they clearly sense an adult’s feelings and intentions.
That means they can tell whether a parent is being stern as an act to make a point, or out of genuine anger or annoyance. And regardless of the intention, it makes the child feel perturbed.
As Lansbury points out in an article for her website, “our overresponse gives our child’s undesirable behavior power.”
“An angry or seething parent is scary, not the confident, solid leader kids need,” she wrote.
Instead of an all-encompassing approach, Parents.com recommends using age-appropriate discipline tactics. In the story, where the author dealt with a ten-year-old child, talking things out may have been more helpful.
The woman could have taken a more grown-up approach with her nephew by emphasizing natural consequences. Instead of being stern, she could have sat him down and explained why the constant prank calls were disruptive.
Pausing and taking deep breaths can also help prevent strong reactions. As Oxford University professor Lucie Cluver tells UNICEF, five deep breaths can help adults hit the “pause button” and respond more calmly.
The author may have been used to the “old-school” method of dealing with an erring child. Unfortunately, it no longer works, and she will need to adapt.
The woman answered questions to provide more context to her story
Most readers thought she reacted accordingly
But some faulted her and the child’s father
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