“I Brought My Mum Along”: 39 Hilarious Ways To Ruin A First Date In 60 Seconds

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you meet up with your date and realize so not a fit? The scariest thought about it is what if they don’t think the same, what if they expect something more?

So, you have to come up with something to make sure it won’t happen. And, well, yapping nonsense quite often does the trick. Only problem doing so requires quite a talent, not everyone can blab on the spot. That’s why we prepared today’s list it’s full of ideas on what to say when you’re sure you don’t want that second date. So, buckle up and let’s go on this wild ride!

More info: Reddit

#1

So, do you see this going somewhere? Because my parents really want grandkids soon, and I already showed them your LinkedIn.

“I Brought My Mum Along”: 39 Hilarious Ways To Ruin A First Date In 60 Seconds

Image source: XoMarixoxo, Nathana Rebouças

#2

When they show up, look at them with a flat expression, then say:

“…really?” “Well, I’m sure you did your best.”

If that doesn’t do it, you can add: “Actually, I’m really good at making the best of bad situations. You can still pay for our date!”.

“I Brought My Mum Along”: 39 Hilarious Ways To Ruin A First Date In 60 Seconds

Image source: Nemo2BThrownAway, Kateryna Hliznitsova

#3

Thank you so much for agreeing to meet with me, my parole officer couldn’t believe it when I was telling him about you. “Just remember how you ended up in this situation” is all he could say lol.

“I Brought My Mum Along”: 39 Hilarious Ways To Ruin A First Date In 60 Seconds

Image source: HotSpicedChai, Kindel Media

#4

“I forgot my wallet. I’ll just eat whatever you don’t finish.”.

“I Brought My Mum Along”: 39 Hilarious Ways To Ruin A First Date In 60 Seconds

Image source: anon, Friends eating in restaurant freepik

#5

You look so different when I’m not looking at you through binoculars.

“I Brought My Mum Along”: 39 Hilarious Ways To Ruin A First Date In 60 Seconds

Image source: ricky-from-scotland, EyeEm

#6

“I hope you don’t mind, i brought my mum along”.

“I Brought My Mum Along”: 39 Hilarious Ways To Ruin A First Date In 60 Seconds

Image source: anon, grustock

#7

“I think I’m in love with you.”
Nothing beats the old Ted Mosby.

“I Brought My Mum Along”: 39 Hilarious Ways To Ruin A First Date In 60 Seconds

Image source: BubblesRAwesome, katemangostar

#8

“Can we move to the restaurant across the street? I can’t be within so many yards of a school.”.

“I Brought My Mum Along”: 39 Hilarious Ways To Ruin A First Date In 60 Seconds

Image source: sponge_bucket, EyeEm

#9

I dated a guy who told me that he already had the names for our first 3 kids on our one and only date and minutes into it. I noped out of there.

“I Brought My Mum Along”: 39 Hilarious Ways To Ruin A First Date In 60 Seconds

Image source: SweaterSteve1966, prostooleh

#10

“Oh s**t! Duck! Sorry, I thought that was my wife”.

“I Brought My Mum Along”: 39 Hilarious Ways To Ruin A First Date In 60 Seconds

Image source: Just_a_Teddy_Bear, prostooleh

#11

My ex was hotter.

“I Brought My Mum Along”: 39 Hilarious Ways To Ruin A First Date In 60 Seconds

Image source: Nabey_owl, freepik

#12

I can do it in 3 seconds: “I voted for Trump.”.

“I Brought My Mum Along”: 39 Hilarious Ways To Ruin A First Date In 60 Seconds

Image source: mstatealliance, Natilyn Hicks Photography

#13

I don’t usually date effeminate guys, but you seem ok.

“I Brought My Mum Along”: 39 Hilarious Ways To Ruin A First Date In 60 Seconds

Image source: fancylamas, freepik

#14

Hmm… Here is a wet wipe, show me how you really look under all those layers.

“I Brought My Mum Along”: 39 Hilarious Ways To Ruin A First Date In 60 Seconds

Image source: EnigmaCM1, freepik

#15

Wow you’re hot you kinda look like my mom.

“I Brought My Mum Along”: 39 Hilarious Ways To Ruin A First Date In 60 Seconds

Image source: LostBravo, freepik

#16

Are you familiar with the advantages of a fractional ownership vacation condo?

“I Brought My Mum Along”: 39 Hilarious Ways To Ruin A First Date In 60 Seconds

Image source: Rat-Scabies, freepik

#17

Nothing. just stare at them silently. 

60 seconds doesn’t sound like a long time but imagine someone just staring at you wordlessly for a full minute. 

and i feel like it would make it even more disturbing if after the full minute of weirdness i just started making normal conversation. .

“I Brought My Mum Along”: 39 Hilarious Ways To Ruin A First Date In 60 Seconds

Image source: themurderator, freepik

#18

1. Make eye contact
2. Put the ring back on.

“I Brought My Mum Along”: 39 Hilarious Ways To Ruin A First Date In 60 Seconds

Image source: CogentEnigma, The Yuri Arcurs Collection

#19

I never thought they would let me out in public again this is so exciting.. i love you.

“I Brought My Mum Along”: 39 Hilarious Ways To Ruin A First Date In 60 Seconds

Image source: Itchy_Pudding_9940, rawpixel.com

#20

Nothing. Just rip a huge fart.

“I Brought My Mum Along”: 39 Hilarious Ways To Ruin A First Date In 60 Seconds

Image source: Otakutani, galitskaya

#21

(Looking him up and down) Hmmm..I can already tell that your brothers d**k is way bigger..

“I Brought My Mum Along”: 39 Hilarious Ways To Ruin A First Date In 60 Seconds

Image source: Ottertrax, standret

#22

Given my track record, “hi, how’s it going?” usually does the trick.

“I Brought My Mum Along”: 39 Hilarious Ways To Ruin A First Date In 60 Seconds

Image source: Which-Village3092, mego-studio

#23

“Oh no…Its that really how you look? Or is this trick?”.

“I Brought My Mum Along”: 39 Hilarious Ways To Ruin A First Date In 60 Seconds

Image source: PorcentualDinoPizza, krakenimages.com

#24

Let me introduce you to Raid Shadow Legends.

“I Brought My Mum Along”: 39 Hilarious Ways To Ruin A First Date In 60 Seconds

Image source: Due_Arm_7249, Reari Gaming

#25

“where’s my hug?”.

“I Brought My Mum Along”: 39 Hilarious Ways To Ruin A First Date In 60 Seconds

Image source: anonymousspsp, rawpixel.com

#26

So I still live with my ex… but we’re on good terms.

“I Brought My Mum Along”: 39 Hilarious Ways To Ruin A First Date In 60 Seconds

Image source: nymarirose, lookstudio

#27

Talk like Yoda we must!

“I Brought My Mum Along”: 39 Hilarious Ways To Ruin A First Date In 60 Seconds

Image source: TradeIcy1669, Beejel Parmar

#28

Hey i hear you’re looking for a stud, ive got the std all i need is u.

“I Brought My Mum Along”: 39 Hilarious Ways To Ruin A First Date In 60 Seconds

Image source: HanlonsKnight, prostooleh

#29

Dammit! I forgot to wipe my a*s. Again!

“I Brought My Mum Along”: 39 Hilarious Ways To Ruin A First Date In 60 Seconds

Image source: anon, EyeEm

#30

*”It’s so good that you’re open to becoming a tradwife.”*.

“I Brought My Mum Along”: 39 Hilarious Ways To Ruin A First Date In 60 Seconds

Image source: LargeSnorlax, user28582122

#31

You don‘t look like the guy on your pictures.

Image source: sofiaaaaxoxo

#32

Ask what sign they are and take out my tarot cards.

Image source: saidenne

#33

I would love to feel em, just one touch real quick.

Image source: Single_Hippo_191

#34

“Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?”.

Image source: FineUnderachievment

#35

“Is that your p***y I smell?”.

Image source: marklikeadawg

#36

You amateurs have to say something? I just show up.

Image source: ChickenPicture

#37

”I always dreamt of a face like yours. It might be good to add to my collection…” Say it softly, like you’re whispering to yourself.

Image source: yansosilly

#38

“Before we get started, would you please review and sign this NDA?”.

Image source: Ahjumawi

#39

I’m married.

Image source: IrrigationNinja

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