Rejection is—unfortunately—a core and inevitable part of dating. So, asking someone out to go on a date with you can be incredibly stressful. In the back of your mind, you’re likely wondering, what if this doesn’t work out? And, let’s not be naive—things often really don’t work out as planned. However, there is a silver lining!
The person rejecting you wields a lot of power in their hands. How they turn you down and phrase things can have a massive impact on how you feel about the entire debacle in the end. Inspired by u/theonlinepartofme, the r/AskReddit community spilled the tea about the most respectful ways someone rejected them. Scroll down for their wholesome stories!
Bored Panda got in touch with the person behind the interesting thread, u/theonlinepartofme, and they were kind enough to share their thoughts on rejection, honesty, and how to handle these situations well. You’ll find our interview with them below.
#1
Went on a few dates with her after moving to a new country. She said something along the lines of “I think you’re nice and you’ll do well with the girls here, but I’m just not feeling it.”
We still bump into each other and have a chat and it’s not awkward at all, which I put down to her honesty and maturity.
Image source: Oaktreedesk, Priscilla Du Preez
#2
“You seem to want a boyfriend, I’m a workaholic and can’t see that in my life right now.” It hurt but I appreciated the honesty.
Image source: Creepy_Line3977, RDNE Stock project
#3
A girl I liked said “No, you don’t want that. I turn into a real b***h in a relationship. And I like you. I can’t do that to you.” Ok, fine, A+ for originality, but whatever.
Then she dated a friend of mine. HOLY. C**P. I consider her rejection one of the *nicest things anyone has ever done for me.*.
Image source: BoredBSEE
#4
I once heard, “I have a lot of respect for you, but I don’t see us being a match”, it was honest without being harsh.
Image source: violetrose398, cottonbro studio
#5
The best was a polite “I think we’re on different wavelengths, but I appreciate the chat”.
Image source: SmallAllyx, Kiran KR
#6
“Wow, I can’t believe someone as great as you would want to date me. Unfortunately, I’m not ready to date at this time, but I’ll let you know if things change.”
I walked away feeling really good after that.
Image source: ZhangtheGreat, Keira Burton
#7
She knew I have an affinity for Ancient Greek and composed her rejection in Attic prose. Stung, but how can I not respect that?
Image source: LParticle, Uiliam Nörnberg
#8
“I’d rather have you as a friend i can talk to and feel safe with”.
Image source: anon, Priscilla Du Preez
#9
I felt hopeful for our relationship when they stated, “I appreciate your interest, but I just don’t see a future for us together. Can we still be friends?” It was a mature and courteous statement.
Image source: LadyinFantasy, Yolanda Suen
#10
“If I were straight I’d say yes”.
Image source: nvdrz, Anastasiia Chepinska
#11
The nicest rejection to the first time I ever initiated interest, was quite an impactful life lesson for me.
A guy who was more of a friendly stranger/acquaintance than anything, I asked him out. He did look really surprised, when I did and took his time to respond. He said he was very flattered but he couldn’t as he had just started seeing someone (which was true and I believe they are still together many years on).
But he never stopped being friendly and kind in front of his friends when he saw me.
It was impactful because, I put myself out there, it wasn’t the social catastrophe I always imagined in my head by taking that risk and it validated my trust in my own judgement in being able to “pick” a kind person. Definitely put me in a better headspace for when I eventually met my now husband.
Image source: JibbyTR, Khoa Võ
#12
(in high school) She told me that she thought I was nice, but her friend liked me and she’d feel bad if we went out, so I should ask her out instead.
I ended up going out with the friend for over a year.
Image source: whoisdatmaskedman, Pavel Danilyuk
#13
“I really appreciate the offer, but I don’t want to waste your time if I’m not feeling the same way.” Honest, clear, and no awkwardness.
Image source: Safe_Smell_3255
#14
The best way for me was that when I asked, she simply told me that she isn’t attracted/interested. That way you know you’ll never make a chance. If they’ll tell you that they aren’t in the right place to date right now, sure it’s polite, but it’s a lie. And this also makes you feel like you’ll have a chance some day.
Image source: Darker_than_death, Joice Borges
#15
He gave me a blue flower on valentine’s day… blue flowers signify friendship. poetic, yes.
Image source: jeni0eee, Naro K
#16
He said he wasn’t interested and that he looked at me as more of a sister he never had than a girlfriend, which I understood and respected. We’re still very good friends to this day.
Image source: Aquatarkana, Taylor Smith
#17
I was hired for a brand new hardware store and there was a hot construction worker during the fitout. I mustered up the courage to ask for his number just before the store opened. He said he was flattered but married. We chatted briefly and that was that. He was a nice guy.
Image source: LandoCatrissian_, Life Of Pix
#18
I was at a bar doing some day drinking in my late 20s. I was there with a large group of people, as one will do in Fells Point, Baltimore. I approached 3 ladies at a bar table, said a few words and got them to laugh. One girl simply says, “We’re sorry, we all have boyfriends.”
I replied with something like, “Oh, that’s cool. Well, you all enjoy our day. It was lovely talking to you.” I said it genuinely and with a smile.
The girls giggled between them then one piped up, “We think you’re cute though.”
I laugh, said thank you, and walked away.
Image source: question1343, Pixabay
#19
He said, ‘you’re an amazing person, but I just don’t feel that spark.’ Honestly, it hurt, but I appreciated the honesty more than anything.
Image source: aprilshills, Quỳnh Lê Mạnh
#20
They gave me a cookie and said, ‘I’m not interested, but I appreciate the offer.’ That cookie was my closure, and I will forever cherish it.
Image source: prettyjaiyieeee, Chris Hardy
#21
‘You’re nice but just not my type’ that was understandable and ok for me. And wayyy nicer than just being ghosted.
Image source: SryForMyIncontinence, iSawRed
#22
Asked if she wanted to see me again and she sent me a Simon Cowell gif, “it’s a no from me.”
It was hilarious.
Image source: Rentality
#23
After 2 months of dating, I’d been falling for her hard and she knew it, so she sat me down and told me that she didn’t have feelings for me yet, and that she was going to start seeing other guys (we weren’t exclusive yet). She was willing to keep dating because she really liked spending time with me and knew I’d be a good boyfriend for her, but I suspected it’d just be worsening the inevitable pain so I ended it. After we split she texted me that she thought I was a wonderful person and that I hoped I found someone.
It didn’t stop me from being a little heartbroken, but I did feel valued and felt that like she’d really wanted it to work out.
Image source: xDskyline, Alena Darmel
#24
She said she wasn’t ready for a relationship but that I would be the first person she called if she was ready.
Honestly, when I asked her I don’t think I was ready either. I just kind of blurted after we had a few drinks.
The feelings haven’t changed, but it was just the wrong time to do so.
Image source: Virtual-Chicken-1031, René Ranisch
#25
“You’re just not my type” is the best version of rejection.
It can’t be argued, but it also doesn’t communicate that the person is unattractive in general, just in a subjective manner.
It also doesn’t contain some kind of dishonest compliment.
Image source: heyitsvonage, Ron Lach
#26
I was dating a girl that lived 2 hours away. She waited for a weekend where she could drive down to me (We took turns driving up/down) to dump me in person, when she could have EASILY just saved the time, money and effort to do it over text. As much as that sucked, I respect her for that.
Image source: Bannybear1, selcuk s
#27
It was a simple “i have someone, but thank you for the compliment.”
in just those few words she let me know that she didn’t think i was a creep for asking, and she recognized that i asked because i liked something about her.
i still remember it, years later.
ETA i don’t know if the boyfriend part was true, and it didn’t matter. the thanks part, i liked that.
Image source: lovethemstars, Ricky Esquivel
#28
I had a beautiful girl in one of my lab classes in college (I’m almost 50 now but still remember!) and I finally worked up the nerve to ask her out. I was gentlemanly about it but probably also visibly at least a bit nervous. She looked me right in the eye and said something along the lines of “oh my gosh, that is so sweet of you. but I can’t, I’m already with someone.” Just a nice combination of being genuine and kind and (presumably?) honest, showing some appreciation for the compliment and not making it weird. She got a compliment and I walked away with my dignity and knowing I at least tried. Could be much worse.
Image source: MikeGander, cottonbro studio
#29
It wasnt during the time he turned me down, but years later that guy contacted me again (when he was engaged already) and told me he used to have severe attachment issues and that he thought i was too nice of a girl to break my heart so he decided to drop me instead of playing unfair and he just wanted to apologise :)
That felt quite good to hear:).
Image source: berryblobs, Priscilla Du Preez
#30
They just said they weren’t ready for a relationship but valued my friendship.
Image source: CleverLuis, Falaq Lazuardi
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