Vacationing is often equivalent to sunshine, sand, and a few good laughs. However, for childfree adults, it can be tough to navigate, because one moment you’re sipping your coffee on the porch, the next you’re being subtly, and sometimes not-so-subtly, drafted into unpaid childcare duties.
Today’s Original Poster’s (OP) experience is a prime example. Looking forward to a laid-back Florida vacation with family, he was asked to spend an entire day babysitting his nieces and nephews. When he said no, he was met with accusations from his siblings and was left wondering if he was just being mean.
More info: Reddit
Many people assume that just because someone doesn’t have children, they are automatically available to pick up childcare or other responsibilities
Image credits: EyeEm / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The author’s family usually went to Florida for vacation, including his siblings and their families
Image credits: Agitated-Major6028
Image credits: syda_productions / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Midweek, his sister scheduled a “special couples day” during the vacation and then asked him to watch all the children
Image credits: Agitated-Major6028
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
He firmly refused, explaining that he didn’t enjoy babysitting and would like to spend his vacation freely, but his sister couldn’t understand it since he had “no plans”
Image credits: Agitated-Major6028
She eventually hung up on him when he kept refusing but ended up blowing up his phone with texts to change his mind alongside their brother
The OP noted that every other year, his family would escape to their small Florida vacation house. This year, they were all going to be there including his siblings and their families. He was childfree and so ready to enjoy the week without parental duties.
However, he received a call from his siter who informed him that on one day during the vacation, she and their brother had planned a special couples day on the water, followed by dinner at a fancy restaurant with their respective spouses. She then asked if the OP could watch all their kids children for the entire day to which he immediately declined.
Initially, his sister thought he was joking until she saw how serious he was about not wanting to look after their kids while they went on this special couples day. Naturally, the refusal didn’t go over smoothly and she pressed for reasons. She argued that since the OP had no plans for that day, there was no excuse.
He stood his ground, explaining that he was simply not a “kid person” and that he just wanted to enjoy the time by himself. Livid, his sister hung up on him after he still refused to budge. Shortly after the call, his sister had told the brother and they both started texting him to change his mind.
Image credits: user18526052 / Freepik (not the actual photo)
In the context of the OP’s story, the situation highlights just how important setting boundaries can be. According to Mind Matters, saying no doesn’t require giving a reason, and having free time doesn’t automatically make someone responsible for others.
Also, when someone pressures you to justify your refusal, it can reveal an imbalance of control in the relationship, signaling that boundaries aren’t being respected. In fact, this pressure is particularly common for childfree adults. BBC notes that they are often assumed to be “on call” for family support simply because they don’t have children of their own.
Furthermore, cultural norms frequently tie caregiving responsibilities to family and reproductive roles, creating the expectation that childfree individuals have more availability. This can lead to unspoken pressure to step in, even when it’s inconvenient or unwanted which was exactly the dynamic the brother experienced on this vacation.
Leadership coach David Tian therefore underscores the importance of standing firm in these situations. He emphasizes that saying no is a complete sentence and does not require justification, allowing individuals to live without being guilted or manipulated. Recognizing that free time is personal, he points out, protects one’s priorities, well-being, and mental health.
Netizens sided strongly with the OP, emphasizing that he has every right to enjoy his vacation without being coerced into childcare. They felt the “couples day” was unfair and exclusionary, and even suggested alternative solutions for the parents, like swapping days to watch each other’s kids or hiring a babysitter.
What would you do if you were in the OP’s shoes? Would you say yes to babysitting or stick to your plans? We would love to know your thoughts!
Netizens applauded the author for standing his ground, highlighting that the situation could make the trip stressful and uncomfortable for him
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