The Real Housewives of D.C. 1.03 “Foreign Relations” Recap

I seriously feel bad for those who jumped ship and tuned out of The Real Housewives of D.C., because each week gets better and better, in my opinion. Tonight proved to be just as good with the Salahis’ starting trouble when they aren’t even in the states. Meanwhile, Mary uncovers some unsavory information about one housewife, while Cat deals with the pressures of a deadline in the most fairy-tale way possible.

Mary and the Mystery of the Salahis’

While watching a faux-runway show in a clothing store, Mary and Lynda discuss the tiff that occurred at Paul Wharton’s birthday party between Michaele and Lynda, who thought it was in bad taste for Michaele to come at her in the manner she did. Lynda goes to explain that she is actually worried about Michaele, while at the same time we come to understand that Lynda’s problem is really with Tareq, who she blames for Michaele’s recent behavior and weight loss. I think Lynda was actually being quite genuine in her concern for Michaele as well as her disdain for Tareq.

Meanwhile, Paul gets some whiplash inducing news from Charlotte Green(e), his PR rep, about something that occurred the night of his party. According to Charlotte, The Salahis’ lawyer contacted her the day of the party asking for a signed contract releasing the Salahis’ from being financially responsible of any for the costs of the party. A party that Michaele would be hosting, mind you. Paul’s reaction to this piece of bull is a mixture of a mac truck hitting him at full force and all in one swoop. In short: priceless.

Mary calls Paul, who tells her about this unfortunate news, which sickens Mary to no end, especially since the Salahis’ are living it up with the Turners’ over in Paris. Later as she gets ready with Ted Gibson and Jason Backe for a dinner of Ted’s, Mary fills the guys in on the drama involving the Salahis’ and Paul, which forces Jason to reveal that he heard that Tareq was gloating to everyone at the party on how much he was spending on the shindig. After hearing this, Mary begs for them to just do her hair and change the subject immediately. I agree with Mary on this one, because this BS is going in my file of “I Can’t…”

The Turners and Salahis’ Adventures in Paris

While talking and tasting wine at Sugarleaf Vinyards, Stacie and Jason are joined by Michaele and Tareq and in a few seconds, the Salahis’ are joining the Turners for a trip to Paris to see Jason’s brother, a rap artist, perform his #1 hit live in concert. If you thought that this was one hell of an unlikely pairing, then you are not alone. One thing to note in this scene is Jason’s reaction to Michaele’s off the wall attempts about President Obama’s administration. I wish like hell that I could recall what he said, but my DVR had a brain fart and didn’t record the show. Anyway!

Once they get to Paris, the Turners are amazed at how lavish the Salahis’ are, while Tareq slurps up all the comments like a thirsty puppy. Michaele just glows and cheers. You gotta love that woman. Jason’s brother Adam, whose stage name is Beat Assailant, performs and sounds pretty damn good. Why aren’t his tracks available in the States? Michaele dances like she’s a drunken college girl, which the Turners’ notice, but think of it more as an attribute rather than a set back. Keep in mind that this is only episode three and things are bound to change when it comes ranking the Salahis’. The folks back home have already been burned by them, when will the Turners’ be next?

The next day(?), Stacie and Michaele go shopping in the streets of Paris, which is when Stacie opens up to Michaele about being an adopted child. Michaele is all ears, but I don’t know if it is forced or if there isn’t anything distracting her at the moment. Stacie reveals that she had found her mother, but they had a falling out, one reason being that her mom refused to give information about her father, who doesn’t know that Stacie even exists. Wow. Michaele is supportive of Stacie’s search and even has kind words to back up her feelings. As the two ladies continue to shop, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship. For now.

Cat’s Deadline Has Her Tongue

Cat is freaking out about her deadline approaching for her book, which she needs to shoot a cover for. Well, she does have a husband for a photographer, but Charles is called away on an assignment that he can’t cancel. Cat pouts about her needs not coming first and the two get into a spat about the concept of stress, which Charles thinks isn’t about looking after Ruby and Jade and lunching with ladies.

Cat meets with a photographer, whose vision she doesn’t care for at all. He wants to do something along the lines of “Sex and the City”, which she thought would take way from the realness of her book. She poses for the pictures with a scowl on her face the entire time. That is until Charles appears out of nowhere, ready to sweep Cat off her feet and take those pictures she so lusted for. By the way this entire subplot played out, I am leaning against the option of this entire ‘storyline’ being staged, but I would probably lose that bet. Probably.

Ted’s Dinner, or The Stage-Setter

Ted Gibson’s dinner is about to get under way, but the ladies all must get ready before attending. Stacie and Lynda arrive to get dolled up by Ted and crew, but when Jason (another stylist) starts talking smack with Lynda about Michaele, Stacie is a bit thrown off by their comments since she didn’t know there was bad blood between the two.

When everyone arrives, Lynda makes it known that she does not want to be seated near the Salahis and gets her wish. Michaele notices that Lynda didn’t speak or look her way when she got there, but Michaele should be looking at the daggers that Paul Wharton is launching with his eyes. He vows to not start anything at Ted’s party, though.

Cat tries her luck with Stacie again, which works until Lynda claims that Cat is her new “soul sister” and if Stacie could sing, then she could be the Diana Ross of their group. Erika, Stacie and Mary’s friend, declares that would make Stacie the ‘token black girl’ in the group. This infuriates the hell out of Cat and she stalks out the party with Paul behind her. Cat pleads her case to Paul that she is nowhere near a racist and feels that Erika is “barking up the wrong tree”. Paul cheers her up and walks Cat back inside. Thank you, Paul, for trying to be somewhat drama free. Now if he could only talk to the Salahis’…

Back inside, Tareq makes it his duty to start talking about how much weight Michaele has gained, which he says is attributed to her being married to him. Michaele nods like a little puppet at this, while Lynda clearly is on the verge of a going for round two with Tareq. In fact, I think everyone wants Tareq to just shut the hell up, because 1) the topic he is talking about is random and embarrassingly private and 2) he has pissed off more than half of the people at the party already. Talking about your wife’s alleged weight gain will not win any more brownie points, dude. Lynda thinks that if Michaele is sick or losing weight then it is probably due to the stress of being married to someone like Tareq. As the night closes, Lynda gives Michaele a message (plea?) in her interview:

“Leave you husband.”

‘Nuff said.

So who do you guys think was in the wrong tonight? How long do you think Stacie and Michaele will remain friends? And where the hell is KCSCougar’s spoof of this show?!!?