Coming from America’s most popular family, quotes from The Simpsons have become quite legendary among the fans. This series is known for its moments of humor and seriousness. With each character having a different view of the world, each quote from the Simpsons family members is unique. The topics they talk about vary in seriousness and hilarity, so it is important to keep an open mind.
Cartoon quotes from series like The Simpsons are sometimes much more memorable than the movie ones. You can’t go wrong with the words said by this family and the people living in Springfield. The Homer Simpson quotes, for example, touch upon the lighter topics of his own life. Through his words, we can see how important it is to have some light in one’s eyes — to see the positive aspects of your surroundings. When it comes to the best quotes from The Simpsons, Homer might be the source of most of them.
May it be inspiration or confidence you are looking for, you can be sure that there are some funny quotes from The Simpsons you can use in any real-life situation. Below, we have compiled a list of the best quotes that came from this series. Some of the funny cartoon quotes listed might be much more meaningful, so leave an upvote on the ones you liked the most. On the other hand, if you have a saying from the series you would like to share, do so in the comments below.
#1
“To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems.” – Homer Simpson
#2
“Why do I get the feeling that someday I’ll be describing this to a psychiatrist?” – Lisa Simpson
#3
“I’m proud of you, Mom. You’re like Christopher Columbus. You discovered something millions of people knew about before you.” – Lisa Simpson
#4
“Kids, just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I’m not listening.” – Homer Simpson
#5
“Dad, women won’t like being shot in the face.” – Lisa Simpson
#6
“Spend less time on your back and more time on your knees.” – Ned Flanders
#7
“Mom, romance is dead. It was acquired by Hallmark and Disney in a hostile takeover, homogenized, and sold off piece by piece.” – Lisa Simpson
#8
“I learned that beneath my goody two-shoes lies some very dark socks.” – Lisa Simpson
#9
“I guess one person can make a difference. But most of the time, they probably shouldn’t.” – Marge Simpson
#10
“It takes two to lie; one to lie, and one to listen.” – Homer Simpson
#11
“Aw, 20 dollars? I wanted a peanut!” – Homer Simpson
#12
“I can’t promise I’ll try, but I’ll try to try.” – Bart Simpson
#13
“They revamped this ride because of massive complaints from two people.” – Lisa Simpson
#14
“Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.” – Homer Simpson
#15
“Weaseling out of things is important to learn; it’s what separates us from the animals… except the weasel.” – Homer Simpson
#16
“Oh God gets your prayers, but he just clicks delete without reading them…” – Homer Simpson
#17
“You’re going to stay your current ages for the rest of your lives.” – Marge Simpson
#18
“Bart! Stop pestering Satan.” – Marge Simpson
#19
“If you don’t watch the violence, you’ll never get desensitized to it.” – Bart Simpson
#20
“Oh! My ovaries!” – Bart Simpson
#21
“Call me Delta Airlines, because I can’t handle all your extra baggage.” – Ned Flanders
#22
“Spread the word: peace and chicken.” – Homer Simpson
#23
“Bless the grocer for this wonderful meat, the middleman who jacked up the price, and let’s not forget the humane but determined boys at the slaughterhouse.” – Ned Flanders
#24
“I’ve done everything the Bible says – even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff!” – Ned Flanders
#25
“Now what can I ding dong diddly do for you?” – Ned Flanders
#26
“Operator! Give me the number for 911!” – Homer Simpson
#27
“Well I can’t say for sure, but as a Christian, I assume the worst.” – Ned Flanders
#28
“Marge, you’re my wife of ten years and I love you, but I must observe the teachings of this man I just met tonight.” – Homer Simpson
#29
“No no honey, I love everything you force me to do.” – Homer Simpson
#30
“You know the courts might not work anymore, but as long as everyone is videotaping everyone else justice will be done!” – Marge Simpson
#31
“Mom, Dad, just so you don’t hear any wild rumors, I’m being indicted for fraud in Australia.” – Bart Simpson
#32
“If you take away our cartoons, we’ll grow up without a sense of humor and be robots.” – Lisa Simpson
#33
“Come on, Bart. Cartoons don’t have to be 100% realistic.” – Lisa Simpson
#34
“Don’t you see? Getting what you want all time will ultimately leave you unfulfilled and joyless.” – Lisa Simpson
#35
“Shut up, brain. I got friends now. I don’t need you anymore.” – Lisa Simpson
#36
“But it’s not on the calendar? Okay, but if I’m sleepy at work tomorrow I get to tell everyone why.” – Homer Simpson
#37
“Marge I believe you’re forgetting America’s greatest wartime wheelchair-bound leader, Professor X of the X-Men.” – Homer Simpson
#38
“Halloween is a very strange holiday. Personally, I don’t understand it. Kids worshipping ghosts, pretending to be devils.” – Marge Simpson
#39
“Only three cavities, Bart, your best checkup ever! I’m going to make you my specialty, butterscotch chicken.” – Marge Simpson
#40
“These are Homer’s friends and family. They don’t want him dead. They just want him to suffer.” – Marge Simpson
#41
“She’s like a Milk Dud, Lis. Sweet on the outside, poison on the inside.” – Bart Simpson
#42
“Hey, cool, I’m dead.” – Bart Simpson
#43
“That’s not fair! I’m ten times the Krusty fan you are. I even have the Krusty Home Pregnancy test!” – Bart Simpson
#44
“I got a rapid heartbeat from his Krusty brand vitamins, my Krusty Kalculator didn’t have a 7 or an 8, and Krusty’s autobiography was self-serving with many glaring omissions.” – Bart Simpson
#45
“Stupid bus that can’t even go to the stupid place it’s supposed to stupid go.” – Lisa Simpson
#46
“I have so many questions for you. First of all, is this floor reinforced?” – Homer Simpson
#47
“Dear Lord, thank you for Ziggy comics, little baby ducks and ‘Sweatin’ to the Oldies,’ volumes one, two and four.” – Ned Flanders
#48
“Lord help me, I’m just not that bright.” – Homer Simpson
#49
“Does it make you feel superior to tear down people’s dreams?” – Lisa Simpson
#50
“Between your genius and my nothing we make a great team, come on give me a hug!” – Homer Simpson
#51
“If anyone asks you something you don’t understand, just say protons.” – Homer Simpson
#52
“If you’re out of my sight, you must constantly Twitter me what you’re up to…” – Homer Simpson
#53
“This family has had its differences and we’ve squabbled, but we’ve never had knife fights before. And I blame this house.” – Marge Simpson
#54
“Maybe we should spend more time with Bart. He’s becoming isolated and weird.” – Marge Simpson
#55
“So much for the days when I could say, ‘At least my mother’s normal’.” – Bart Simpson
#56
“They want sentiment? I’ll pump ’em so full of sap they’ll have to blow their nose with a pancake!” – Lisa Simpson
#57
“Remember, Dad, all glory is fleeting.” – Lisa Simpson
#58
“There are some things we don’t want to know. Important things.” – Ned Flanders
#59
“Homer Simpson, I show you pity, and how do you repay me? With a kick in the kididdlehopper!” – Ned Flanders
#60
“Now I know you’ve had a few too many waters, but that is no reason for the sailor talk.” – Ned Flanders
#61
“Just tell them that God wants them to ignore everything in their bodies that God is making happen.” – Ned Flanders
#62
“Look Moe the least you can let me do is anything I want.” – Homer Simpson
#63
“Today he’s drinking people’s blood. Tomorrow he could be smoking.” – Marge Simpson
#64
“If you raised three children who can knock out and hogtie a perfect stranger you must be doing something right.” – Marge Simpson
#65
“Bart! You’re no longer in Sunday School. Don’t swear.” – Marge Simpson
#66
“Everything changes when you get to big one-o. Your legs start to go, candy doesn’t taste as good anymore.” – Bart Simpson
#67
“All the years I’ve wanted to be treated like an adult have blown up in my face.” – Lisa Simpson
#68
“Homer, did you just buckle your belt through my loop?” – Ned Flanders
#69
“I don’t want to alarm anybody, but I think there’s a little al-key-hol in this punch.” – Marge Simpson
#70
“Lisa, you’re learning many lessons tonight. And one of them is to always give your mother the benefit of the doubt.” – Marge Simpson
#71
“It’s not my nature to complain, but so far today we’ve had three movies, two filmstrips, and an hour and a half of magazine time. I just don’t feel challenged.” – Lisa Simpson
#72
“I always knew someday Mom would violently rise up and cast off the shackles of our male oppressors.” – Lisa Simpson
#73
“Sorry is not just the most exciting board game ever devised, it’s a word I need to hear from you!” – Ned Flanders
#74
“I’m not thinking straight, why did I have that wine cooler last month?” – Ned Flanders
#75
“Oh, Milhouse doesn’t count.” – Marge Simpson
#76
“If someone did eat Bart’s shorts they’d have a tummy full of pocket garbage.” – Marge Simpson
#77
“I like to call this story Hungry are the Damned.” – Bart Simpson
#78
“I think Grandpa smells like that trunk in the garage where the bottom’s all wet.” – Bart Simpson
#79
“I smell bacon, let’s see if he’s wearing a wire.” – Bart Simpson
#80
“Wow, that is the biggest Rice Krispie square I’ve ever seen! The rich sure know how to live.” – Bart Simpson
#81
“My chunky brothers! Gorge yourselves at the trough of freedom!” – Bart Simpson
#82
“I think you need Skinner, Bart. Everybody needs a nemesis.” – Lisa Simpson
#83
“Mom, look, I found something more fun than complaining!” – Lisa Simpson
#84
“Can I make my famous mimosa? A little sparkling water in a glass full of regular water?” – Ned Flanders
#85
“Sometimes God bless her, she underlines passages in my bible because she can’t find hers!” – Ned Flanders
#86
“Did a volcano erupt in Candyland? ‘Cause I just caught me a flyin’ red hot!” – Ned Flanders
#87
“That sounds salty, but you seem sweet. I’m going to call you kettle corn.” – Ned Flanders
#88
“Can’t beat a skybox. All the excitement of being in the sky with the security of being in a box.” – Marge Simpson
#89
“Normally your father’s crackpot schemes fizzle out as soon he finds something good on TV. But this season.” – Marge Simpson
#90
“He’s a hero all right, a hero sandwich full of bologna!” – Ned Flanders
#91
“Thank you for taking me to that Pinkberry place. It’s a lot less racy than its name would lead you to believe.” – Ned Flanders
#92
“I’m so embarrassed I wish there was a hole I could just crawl into and die.” – Marge Simpson
Image source: unknown
#93
“I didn’t think it was physically possible, but this… blows.” – Bart Simpson
#94
“Very scary, Mr. Flanders, but I’ve got a story so scary you’ll wet your pants.” – Bart Simpson
#95
“I’ve got it all figured out. I’ll be unappreciated in my own country, but my gutsy blues stylings will electrify the French.” – Lisa Simpson
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