‘Productivity paranoia’ is a term coined by Microsoft chief Satya Nadella, and it describes the not-so-new concern that workers who perform their duties at home aren’t as effective or honest.
In fact, around 85% of leaders in a survey from September 2022 said hybrid arrangements make it hard for them to be confident that expectations are met.
But the joke’s on them. Many are faking it in the office, too. There’s a viral thread on Reddit where people have been revealing their go-to ways to “look busy” when they feel like taking it easy, and the abundance of replies make it clear that this practice is pretty universal.
#1
Former manager here (went back to consulting because it’s more fun.)
Just get your job done. I told my employees as much. Hell I spend 30-40% of my day on non work stuff but it helps me recharge and then I get more done in a half day than many of my peers do in a week.
Image source: ChinaIsAssh0e, Alex Kotliarskyi
#2
Been 5 years since I worked in an office but these:
In a call centre I’d dial a number I knew would not connect (ie leave last digit off). The line registered as busy so my ‘busy on a call’ stats were always very high. Just had to remember to cover the phone light with something if I walked away to make a coffee or something.
Always leave something on the computer screen that is an excel document with lots of data etc. remember to scroll from time to time and don’t use a screen saver. Ideally your screen should be not seen by others walking past but this is for when you can’t control that.
Tell others how busy you are. Needs to be done carefully so you aren’t seen as a drama queen. Just time to time and slightly under your breath comments ‘well anyway got to get back to my desk, lots on’. Or in staff meetings or with your manager praise the team. ‘Thanks everyone for all the hard work getting done, this is a great team’
Always carry documents with you when walking around the office. A folder or just any papers. Great for going to a chat with a coworker. From afar.. if you are seen holding papers you look busy and it must be about work right.
Thinking on that last point. Walk with purpose. Walk slightly faster than normal from A to B.
Stay 5 mins later than others leaving office for the day. Come to work 5 mins before they do. Leave empty coffee mugs on your desk in the morning. Make a coffee. But have one with dregs as a spare prop. You’ve ‘been in for ages’ at a glance.
Ohhh I’m having a bit too much fun with this. Lol.
Image source: CheeryCherryCheeky, Berkeley Communications
#3
Find another job.
If I need to “look busy” rather than “be productive,” I’m working for an idiot.
Image source: anon
#4
I’m a cleaner/janitor in a warehouse complex
I just grab a broom or a bucket
Can walk laps of the place for hours without doing anything if I want
Image source: 82recluse82, Verne Ho
#5
I have no idea how you guys can do nothing with so much dedication and intensity.
I get twitchy if I don’t have a problem to solve or something to focus on, so how the f**k can you manage to last 8 HOURS while doing nothing but staring at nothing on your screens?
I really don’t get it. I think I was born broken.
Image source: LegoMySplunk
#6
If my Boss starts giving me the side eye tomorrow while I’m scowling at my computer screen, constantly running to the office scanner, and leaping from my desk and into the hallway with a folder and a pen, I’ll know he follows this sub.
Image source: cats_inthewindow, Maksym Kaharlytskyi
#7
Just look frustrated with whatever you’re doing.
Squint at your computer screen, shake your head, let out an occasional sigh, have a bunch of papers on your desk you can rifle through periodically.
You don’t want to look so frustrated that you might need some help, but if you do this right everybody will think you’re already too busy with something to be bothered.
Image source: J-Dizzle42, Tim Gouw
#8
I frequently write emails to myself. Could be my grocery list, to-dos for after work, ideas that I don’t want to forget, or planning the upcoming weekend. It’s a great way to make my free time more efficient and organized while killing time at work.
Image source: Mole_kid, Solen Feyissa
#9
Find something to read that they can’t tell isn’t work if they don’t look close. Like did you know the script of the Truman show is online somewhere? That was a fun day.
Image source: Jenslosingit, Sincerely Media
#10
If you work in a big enough building, you just put something important looking in one hand (papers, a clipboard works perfectly, etc) and scurry intensely from one random place to the next. Make friends in different areas, stop to chat briefly. Find the good clean remote restroom and use it. Grab a cup of coffee. Help somebody else with work that’s more interesting than yours, etc. Rinse, repeat.
As long as you’re holding something official looking (change it up) and *hurrying semi-urgently* from place to place you can go like this right up to your yearly review. Hopefully you managed to get some actual amazing s**t done here and there along the way.
Image source: Congenital0ptimist, Daria Pimkina
#11
Some of the work I do involves engineering maps.
Pull up a complicated-looking map, put on headphones with audiobook, let my eyes glaze over for an hour or 2 looking at the map.
People walk by and assume I’m trying to do some sort of complicated logistics/planning in my head. In reality I’m on book 12 of the Dresden Files.
Image source: FedRishFlueBish, Kelly Sikkema
#12
– Downloaded PDF version of a book and open it up
– Split screen with an excel sheet
– Read
I powered through the Game of Thrones book series in 2-3 months at my last job. It’s my go to way to kill time and look busy at work.
Image source: uhnoinenoine, Andrew Neel
#13
I have a steady flow of work these days, but when I first started, my position was brand new. So there was not a lot to do, and it’s actually the reason I joined reddit. Figured I could stay current with all the free time I had.
But yeah those first few months were rough, so I started emailing myself really long articles and short stories. I’d then either just read them straight from email, or I’d past them into an Excel/Word/Publisher document.
A lot of the articles came from here: https://kk.org/cooltools/best-magazine-articles-ever/
Image source: meltedlaundry, Tech Daily
#14
I’m a social media manager, so I can just browse through instagram and pretend I’m looking for inspiration, influencers or the competition.
Image source: anon, Gabrielle Henderson
#15
I’ve had the same spreadsheet open for 4 days, no one has said anything, and I still got paid so I guess it’s working.
Image source: CitizenHuman, Campaign Creators
#16
Open up various tools for system monitoring and look at them. If something went tits up we’d get an email so I don’t really need to do that, but it looks busy and maybe I’ll notice something important.
Otherwise I take some training courses or something. Most aren’t very good but it’s fuel for my self evaluation come mid year.
Image source: TetrisCannibal, Tim van der Kuip
#17
Sit at my desk for 15 minutes, walk to the file cabinet room, pull out a random file, make three copies, walk through the hall so everyone sees me with paperwork in my hand, slip out the side door, go to my truck, take a 30 minute nap, walk back through the hallway with my paperwork, shred it, go back to my desk. If anybody asks I just tell them I’m cleaning up paperwork before the end of the billing cycle. I can repeat this all day long if I need to.
Image source: bluecheetos, Impact Hub
#18
Open an excel spreadsheet …start filling it..my boss backs away lol
Image source: coolmommabear, Collin Anderson
#19
When I was in the culinary field, anytime I wanted a short break, I’d just grab a random container and walk around with it. No one bothers you if you do haha.
As for my current office gig, I recently started writing fan fiction with word or notepad during free time. Anyone who glances over at me sees me pounding away on the keyboard so they think I’m busy as f**k. In reality I’m writing away about people getting their a*s kicked or fighting monsters.
Image source: mysticbooka
#20
Photocopy blank paper. Not my trick, but I used to love watching one of my coworkers do this for hours on end.
Image source: notyouraverageturd, Solomon203
#21
My coworkers don’t really know computers like I do, and since my job is 90% on the computer, I just load up 3 or 4 explorer windows over a random Excel spreadsheet, and stare intently at it.
Image source: GrilledStuffedDragon, Carlos Muza
#22
I get in around 9:30 and usually zone out for an hour in front of my computer, but it looks like I’m working. I then zone out for another hour after lunch too. In fact, in a given day, I’d say I do fifteen minutes, of real, actual work.
Image source: queruso1
#23
Reviewing. Going over work you did for the day “just to make sure I did everything right”.
Image source: Vyzantinist, Bench Accounting
#24
When you look annoyed all the time, people think you’re busy
Image source: BlinkRogue1, Adrian Swancar
#25
If it’s a job I care about and enjoy, I don’t. If I’m not busy, I go and ask for more work.
My first job out of college, I worked at a company that treated all of its employees like garbage. 17/24 people quit in the three months that I was there. There, I listened to audiobooks and pretended to click on Excel files. Good dental insurance, though. I got my first cavities ever while I was there, maybe from increase in alcohol to deal with the job, and I only had to pay like $100 to get all of them fixed and replace my retainer.
Image source: balletaurelie
#26
If I need to be unavailable urgently, I will pick up the phone and call my work center’s voice mail. I’ll listen or re-listen to every single second of every single voice prompt and message. People don’t usually bother me if they see I’m on the phone.
Image source: Chicken_Korma, David Hahn
#27
I know many people use this- (look like msoutllok but is really reddit)
http://pcottle.github.io/MSOutlookit//
Image source: kcg5
#28
I always keep a separate tab open with work related stuff to quickly change to and look at intently if someone walks by
Image source: Viiibrations, Lee Campbell
#29
I’m a machinist but I have a desk so, not an office worker but this applies to me.
I will browse MSC or McMaster-Carr and look at tools if a manager is around. When they ask what I am doing I reply with “spending company money”.
Image source: Sirhc978
#30
Training videos. Always look like you are trying to better yourself
Image source: CJamesEd, Wes Hicks
#31
Type responses to reddit if they can’t see my screen, type out ideas for a book if they can
Image source: Stop_Sign, LinkedIn Sales Solutions
#32
Play games on the laptop. A girl sitting at a reception desk focused on a computer screen. Good enough.
Image source: Miss971, Aurelien Thomas
#33
I open up Excel and type random work words into the cells (ex: overtime, PTO, budget) I don’t even know how to work Excel, but the higher ups appreciate all the work I’m doing lol
Image source: daejane1
#34
I prep content for my D&d games. Taxpayers money well spent in my opinion.
Image source: Simplyaddwater
#35
tip your chair over, they normally call the hospital immediately
Image source: anon, Ayesh Rathnayake
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