In a healthy relationship, you honor the sense of emotional and physical privacy needed for yourself and your significant other. Otherwise, somewhat counterintuitively, you end up limiting your intimacy with one another, instead of enhancing it.
And there’s a thread on Reddit that perfectly highlights it. Created by user u/Bisexual_Space_Lover, it asked people: “What’s a secret you’ll never tell your partner, but are willing to tell strangers on Reddit?” and the concealed truths it has received ranged from silly to sweet and wholesome.
So we collected the most memorable ones and put together this list to prove that absolute honesty shouldn’t be the goal of commitment.
#1
Using my alt because she follows my main account
My girlfriend of 5 years has been deaf since she was 6. She reads lips pretty well, but prefers Sign Language. I didn’t know a single sign when I met her, but I could tell right away there was something between us so I started learning after I got home from our first date.
Fast forward a few years, I’m now fluent in ASL and we use it to talk almost exclusively. When she’s not looking though, I talk to her even though she can’t hear me or see my lips to read. I tell her how much I love her, how I’m going to marry her someday, how beautiful she is, etc. I’ve even been practicing proposing, so it’s not so terrifying when I actually do it. She has no idea and I plan to keep it that way.
Image source: JustADude183, Samuel Raita
#2
My best friend is a Badger and I feed him sweetcorn every morning at 5:20am
Image source: Chubby_Salmon3454, John Campbell
#3
That I am the one placing the googly eyes on everything in our house not our six year old.
Image source: aaronr93
#4
My wife s**t while delivering our son. Something she was terrified she would do. The nurse cleaned up very quickly and gave me a look that needed no explanation. I never said a word. She talked after delivery about how happy she was that didn’t happen to her. I’ll let her keep that peace of mind for life.
Image source: falllikeweather, Sean Roy
#5
The wholesome answer? That our youngest sons first word wasn’t “mama”. She was having a busy time at work and already felt guilty about not being home as much. Naturally he spent most time with me so his first word was “papa”. I kept my mouth shut and waited untill he said “mama” and celebrated that as his first word.
Image source: TinusTussengas, Kelly Sikkema
#6
My husband loves talkative cats. When we first got our kittens I gave them a treat every time they made a meow or chirp. Since I was working from home they ended up becoming very vocal. He still goes on about how lucky we are to have such talkative cats in a weekly basis
Image source: KasKat35, twinpeaksbel
#7
That I found the man who was speaking improperly to our very young daughter and made sure it wouldn’t happen again.
Image source: Lanky_Technician_76
#8
That he legit saved my life. He’s a nervous, humble guy who doesn’t like undue pressure or praise, so I keep it to myself just how bad off I was before he showed up. Because even in the aftermath of my mom’s death and even in the face of some pretty nasty health problems (which I was just letting slide because I was so depressed I was kind of hoping they’d kill me), I was very, VERY good at smiling and being charming. Three years of taking care of a terminally ill parent taught me how to smile and bear it and feint positivity even when you’re running on empty.
And I never felt like I could be anything other than The Fixer. The Doer. The Person Who Always Knows What To Say. The Reliable One. They Who Has Every Answer and Can Make Bad Feelings Go Away By Just Fixing the Problem For You.
I was not allowed to be negative. Ever.
But he… legit came in and helped me with mom’s estate and cheerleaded me into getting out of a dead-end career and put a stake in the heart of some severely toxic relationships I had and even helped me budget so I could “finally afford” health insurance… which wasn’t a moment too soon, because I caught s**t right in the nick of time.
And he just kind of… did it. In his mind it was nothing much because “you were on the right track, but you had a lot on your plate and needed help :).” And I just nod and agree because what else do I say?
“I actually wasn’t. I was just going to let myself die because I was exhausted and miserable, smiles aside. Thanks for intervening.”
Image source: Ilunibi, Lesly Juarez
#9
I never paid for her engagement ring.
I went to a custom jeweler to have her ring made. It’s a beautiful piece, and she loves it dearly, and it certainly wasn’t cheap – appraised and insured for around $10k.
The jeweler was dealing with a lot of family issues at the time, and was incredibly disorganized. I went to pick up the ring and brought my checkbook to pay for it, and when she handed me the ring I took it out and asked her who to make the check out to. She said “oh no don’t worry about it right now, just send me a check in the mail!”.
I thought that was strange, but sure okay. She then hurried off to help another customer and I left. But she never told me what the final price was.
For the next 6 months, I texted and called the jeweler asking “hey just tell me what amount to put and I’ll mail you the check!”, and there was always a reason she couldn’t tell me “oh sorry I’m out right now, I’ll find it and text you later!”. Her shop was a few hours away from where I live, so it wasn’t feasible to stop by and handle it in person.
I tried for 6 months, but after that I stopped calling/texting and just figured I got the ring for free. I wouldn’t tell my spouse, because I don’t want her to think I took advantage of the situation or that somehow the ring isn’t as ‘meaningful’ because I didn’t pay for it.
Image source: Decayd, Taylor Heery
#10
That I know the word she’s looking for, but it’s more fun to hear her rattle off increasingly ridiculous, sometimes made up words instead.
Image source: FunWithAPorpoise, Jennifer Lim-Tamkican
#11
When my Girlfriend and I go out to eat at a restaurant, they will sometimes let us order food through our phones at the table. I’ll insist on ordering because it lets me write in their “special instructions” box where i request if they could compliment her outfit.
Honestly i think i get just as much enjoyment seeing her reaction. I can never let her know.
Image source: Fhoenix
#12
I got our toddler out of bed one morning and went to do a sniff test of their butt to see if they had poo’d over night and when I lifted my child up i stuck their head in the ceiling fan.
Oh and the time I forgot to put the car in park with them in it.
Image source: brotum248, Peter Galvin
#13
Our cat didn’t break the towel rack. I did. I was pretending to be fighting zombies and grabbed it and… ripped the god damn thing off the wall. I heard her coming to check out the noise and looked down at my cat.
She came into the bathroom to me asking my cat “Why did you think the towel rack could hold your weight? You silly cat!”
Image source: FandiBilly, Dollar Gill
#14
I don’t know why I can’t tell her. But lately (3 years of marriage and a 9 month old) I am more attracted to her than ever. It becomes distracting as I think about it all day sometimes. I think I’m embarrassed that it used to be a more ‘average’ attraction and now it is in overdrive, been this way for months.
I know it probably sounds silly but Idk it just feels like I became a different person recently.
Image source: Themanwhofarts
#15
That the thing that made me realize that i was in love with her is when i was taking a shower and got done, i walked into the room and she must not have heard me get out. She was laying on her side on the bed with her eyes closed, and she was picking her nose. I didn’t want to embarrass her, so i stepped back out and from a distance asked where i set my clean clothes as i was walking back in, to make it seem like i was just coming in. She was visibly startled and quickly stopped, but continued to lay there with her eyes closed. I pretended that i saw nothing, but i couldn’t help but smile. It was such an innocent and human moment. I have no idea why, but it made me realize right then and there that i loved everything about her. As silly as that moment was, there was a beauty in it, and i cherish that memory.
Image source: dfgthree3, Ivan Samkov
#16
Sometimes I just sit in my car outside work or our apartment for 20-30 minutes because I need some time alone. I have my mind full to the brim at work and rarely get time in the house alone. Sometimes I just need it to be quiet and not have to pay attention to anything!
Image source: CocktailOnion
#17
I’ve been so depressed lately. I do not like my job. I have crippling anxiety driving into work every day. I’m in six-figure debt so I can’t leave. I can’t provide the life my family deserves and it’s only going to get tighter in coming months. I cry most days.
My wife and son are the only things in my life keeping me going. They do make me happy though its a sad-happy because I feel like I’m letting them down. My wife knows I’m not myself but I won’t tell her how bad things are.
I know it will get better but it’s very hard right now.
Edit: thank you all for your words of encouragement. I will talk with my wife tonight and we’ll try to come up with a plan. Not quite sure how, but she IS going to get her husband back and my son is getting his dad back.
Edit 2: I did talk with my wife. She’s worried about me but so supportive. Things are tight but we’ll get through. I made an appointment to talk to a professional. I don’t have the energy now but I’m going for a run on Friday after work and swimming with my son on Saturday. Thank you all. I did read a lot of comments and messages and everyone was supportive or funny. You all helped.
Image source: Sumthin-Sumthin44692
#18
I hate that he doesn’t want to go anywhere, ever.
Everything is always a chore or he dreads it.
I want to go on hikes, random car rides, a damn picnic. Just get out of the house with him, just him. I want to go on dates, I’m growing very tired of this lifestyle.
Image source: worthlesswreck
#19
I am terrified that my partner will die because I know I am not really a functional adult outside of my work. I am good for playing with the kids, bringing in a decent income and making food, but the idea of single parenting and taking care of everything fills me with existential dread I have a hard time describing.
Obligatory Edit:
Thank you all for the support and kind comments, I never expected my top comment ever would be about how I worry for the future because I feel like 3 raccoons in a trench coat instead of a human adult. If you feel the same way just know you aren’t alone!
Image source: ProfessorWC, Steven Van Loy
#20
If not for my partner and my family, I would have killed myself a long time ago. They are literally what I live for, and I can’t tell them that because they would worry about me so much.
EDIT: I am NOT actively suicidal, and I will not harm myself in the foreseeable future.
Image source: KnownAd7367, JoEllen Moths
#21
There has never been a time i thought my spouse was unattractive. Not even once whether it be personality, quirks or even situations that are irritating. He’s been the most handsome man I’ve ever seen. I’m so lucky I got him (even if he put a little weight on-i have too so I don’t care)
But may 26th 2022 the day we had our son (his first bio son) he cried. He cried through the delivery and never once left our sons side. He fell in love instantly. He’s been a doting loving dad since day one. But…. I have never been more attracted to him.
It’s hard to explain and I know sometimes the rush women get from giving birth is a high like rush. But I have been obsessed watching him take care of our baby. I’m sure you guys want to know why I will never tell him but I’d tell strangers? It’s simple. Watching him dote on our son is my guilty pleasure. He doesn’t know because it could ruin the way he is with our son. Sure he could say it wouldn’t change anything but this is my secret. I have never been more inlove with this man.
Image source: mnb88
#22
My nieces don’t like the aquarium. I just constantly took them there because I thought my now girlfriend, who works there, was pretty and thought if she saw me constantly taking them it’d lead to us talking.
Image source: beefkingsley, Caroline Hernandez
#23
When I play video games and my wife isnt here, I narrate what I do and respond to fake questions from a non-existant chat like I’m some kind of big shot streamer. I even look at a fake camera when something happen lol.
Image source: Nightmare2828, ELLA DON
#24
I’ve broken your personalize cup your sister got you three times.
I recreated the design on paint and got some screen printing stall at the mall to print it on the cup, each time it looks a little bit different 😂.
Image source: Oaty_McOatface
#25
Every time we’re playing Yahtzee and she asks “do I have one more roll or was that 3” I always say one more regardless of the truth
Image source: Jack7074
#26
No me but my friend
So his wife was really sick but was also extremely stubborn and religious she believed that God will heal her, so he cam to me and asked for a few of my sleeping pills
There really strong and get you into a deep sleep quickly. So puts the pills in her drink, like clock work in 30 minutes she’s out cold he then asks me to help him get her to hospital. Next morning she wakes up in the hospital. Good thing too course on top of that sickness she had, she had stage one cancer she survived and it’s all good now.
But he mad me swear I don’t tell her what we did.
Image source: trojen342p, Castorly Stock
#27
I cant remember the last time I was genuinely happy more than just an in the moment feeling due to something happening. My default emotion is just depressed/tired
Image source: UltimateToa
#28
Whenever she’s not home, I let the dog onto the bed and take a really comfy nap. I set an alarm for an hour and kick the dog off and clean the fur off before she ever gets home. I’ve been doing this for nearly 3 years now.
Image source: SpaceXBlaze
#29
That she killed a cat. She’s very much a cat person, once she picks me up from a friend’s house and driving through town, a cat ran in front of us and we heard a thud underneath the car, she screamed and looked in the rearview mirror and we seen the cat stagger into a driveway.
She was very upset and convinced she killed it, I told her no no the cat clearly ran across the street and is probably fine!
She was meeting some friends and I was taking the car home so she said would I check the driveway of that house on my way home to make sure the cat was ok, I said I would.
I drove back that way and parked a few houses down and looked in the driveways and there it was, lying motionless sprawled out on the ground, oh s**t.
Part of me was thinking just go home and say you seen it happily licking it’s a**s, but curiosity got the better of me, I wanted to check to make sure it was still living.
The problem was it was a gated house that was also a b&b so I didn’t want to just wander in on someone elses property, so I rang the phone number on the sign at the side of the road! By this stage I’m thinking what the hell are you at, you should have been home long ago but I was on autopilot and just went with it, the owner answers and I tell him there’s a possibility dead cat in your drive, do you mind if I come in just to check its ok. The guy is like “um yeah I guess, it’s just I’m out of town and there’s no one here but it’s fine if you want to let yourself in the side gate”. He also says thanks so at this point I have to do it, I’m too far in now!
I let myself in and walk over and there she is, a big dead cat. Oh balls, well I’ll just tell my wife the cat wasn’t there and we can forget about the whole thing..except the owner now knows there could be a dead cat on his property, and when he gets home and sees it lying there he’s got my number and will know I just left it there. So now I have to make a decision, do I leave this dead cat here or do I take it away and if I do what do I do with it. Across the street is a store so I walk over and buy bin bags and rubber gloves, make my way back over and scoop the fluffy corpse into a bin bag. Now I got a dead cat in a bag, I walk over to my car carrying this black bin bag.
People are walking past me on the street, smiling and giving that upwards nod that strangers give, I give a nod back but not I’m not fully into it because they don’t know I’m walking past them with a dead cat in a bin bag. I don’t feel like taking it into my car because, you know, it’s a dead cat. So I google vets and there happens to be one not too far away, walking distance. I ring and ask them do they dispose of dead pets, they said they do. So I make my way down there, in through the front door and ask the receptionist, was I just talking to them about pet disposal, she looks at me slightly freaked and says yes. I produce the bag and say oh well I have a cat here, and can I just give it to her. She’s like eh yeah you just leave it at our back door back outside, and charges me 50 quid for the pleasure.
I walk back to the car, and sat there for at least half an hour, in silence and as still as a dead cat trying to process the last hour of my life. I text my wife and say ‘no honey, couldn’t find the cat, she must be fine and ran off somewhere safe, see you at home xxx”
Image source: FatherStonesMustache
#30
That time I asked you if I could have the last cookie, I implied there was only one left when there was actually two. I wanted both of them and didn’t want to share.
They were delicious and I have no regrets.
Image source: PS_FuckYouJenny
#31
I’m disabled, he works and brings home the bag. We do get disability pay, so it’s still two incomes. I mostly clean, but my health gets in the way a lot.
But man, I don’t think I can ever tell him just how guilty I feel over my inability to consistently contribute. I hate that my disability and health overshadow some days. He gets home from work, and the minute he sees how sick I feel that day he drops everything and ignores his own exhaustion to fuss over me. He should be able to come home to a meal cooked and a relaxing night of sitting on his a*s before the next day of work. Sometimes he does get that, but a lot of times it’s just us making food together and cuddling and gaming rather than me being able to take care of him. I hate it deeply.
Edit: uuuuh I honestly expected this to get buried lmfao. Yes, I have talked to him about it a bit, just not about how often I feel guilty or how deeply I feel it. I do my best to make up for it on my good days. He has no problems with helping me out. At the end of the day, it’s my mindset that needs working on.
Image source: berripluscream
#32
that she is far more similar to her mother and sisters than she would want to believe.
Image source: Alternative_Start21
#33
I have been molested 4 time by 4 different old guys, and I am male.
Image source: liquidysubstance
#34
My husband is too lighthearted during sex and it is a total turnoff. Like he will say “boobies!” or slap my a*s and thinks it’s funny. And like, I just want to be ravaged and whenever he does these things, I get dry as a bone downstairs. Idk how to bring this up without being an a*s.
Image source: Djeter998
#35
When I asked her dad for his blessing I had some liquid courage first and I can’t remember what his response was. Let’s hope it was yes because we’ve been married for over 2 years.
Image source: ZackW186
#36
That I wish she would find a career or pursue a degree so I don’t have to work 1000+ hours of OT a year so she can sit at home.
Image source: TheBeale
#37
Sometimes when we play mariokart, I pretend to fail at the end so she can win
Image source: Gingee_Ninjee, nintendo
#38
That “family dinner” I coordinated with your dad was supposed to be a 1-on-1 conversation where I ask permission to marry you. Guess I’ll just wait a few months since the whole family caught wind of our meeting 🤦♂️
Edit to clarify: I know I don’t *need* to ask her dad permission, it’s a choice between her and me, but it’s a culturally polite thing to do where I’m from and I plan on proposing to her in the coming months. I was just asking in advance because we’re moving away from the area
Edit 2: as others pointed out – I should have said “blessing” rather than “permission”. We are later into our 20s and in our careers. No underage/mental ability stuff here. Sorry for the confusion
Image source: SlimpyDundersPhD
#39
That I actually prefer creamy peanut butter. I buy the extra crunchy because that’s what he likes.
Image source: Absinthe42
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