Let’s be real: it’s no big secret we’ve all got secrets. Some are small, while others could destroy reputations, if not whole lives, if they ever got out. Keep too many, and you might find yourself driven to distraction trying to keep them all bottled up.
Some asked an online community, “What’s a NSFW confession you’ve always wanted to get off your chest anonymously?”, and netizens didn’t hold back with secrets of all shapes and sizes. Dive into this collection of some of the most scandalous.
More info: Reddit
#1
I flipped a forklift trying to do donuts in the parking lot of a grocery store while drunk and waiting for them to open. I was on a mission to get a pallet of beer for the boys. Broke my arm and received a ticket for dui while still in the hospital. 0/10 do not recommend.
Image source: upuranus66, Solømen
#2
Worked at a men’s clothing stores at 15 year-old. Mostly cheap suits and other casual business clothes. They didn’t issue me my first paycheque for over a month. The place was a chain and poorly ran and they never did inventory. I would often do the garbage run. Three bags of garbage in the dumpster and one bag of clothes into my trunk which was parked close to the dumpster. This went on for a year. Me my dad and all my friends and all their dads were outfitted for years.
Image source: bioreleaf, Alexander Naglestad
#3
I did in fact use a pallet jack as a scooter.
Image source: GapMinute3966, Getty Images
#4
Not anonymous if someone really tried, but I’ll confess one lil tidbit here;
In JR high I was put in a room alone for discipline reasons. The room happened to be their records room. In protest I took a random section of student files and took it home. If your last name started with M and you went to my Jr High School between 83-84, I am sorry if your permanent records were lost. .
Image source: Honigschmidt, Yen Vu
#5
I hooked up with my little sister’s MIL. It wasn’t planned, we had both been at the same party and it just sort of happened.
Image source: CurlySueKY, Devin Nelson
#6
I spit in your water bottle, Steve. Not the coolest thing to do but you were a weaselly little a*****e and the opportunity overtook me.
Image source: NoSession1674, Curated Lifestyle
#7
Had a summer job at a plastic bottle/cap factory. During night shifts there were no supervisors so we just made sure we met the quota for the night during the first couple of hours and rest of the night we would just do whatever we wanted with the other summer temps.
We made golf clubs and balls out of the plastic mass and had golf tournaments in the factory hall, we used the airline (there was pressurised air outlets all over for cleaning the bottle machines) to make cannons and shot empty bottles competing in both distance and accuracy and i am still the reigning Warehouse Forklift Racing champion with the time of 1 minute 14 seconds.
Image source: guardonduty, Getty Images
#8
I used to work at a department store, and the shelves in our back stock were ridiculously high. I would climb up the shelves and hide out in the back of the top one, usually behind a couple boxes. Id take naps, watch YouTube, eavesdrop on any gossip happening below me. The whole nine yards.
Because I was climbing up the shelves themselves, and not using an actual ladder, no one ever thought twice about the possibility of someone being up there.
Image source: TheSkinnyVinny, Brad
#9
I had s*x in my office after hours. Being in IT i knew where the cameras were, and I was in a locked office with no windows. Not even the door. It was a storage closet that was my office.
Image source: 1peatfor7, MChe Lee
#10
When I was in my early teens I attacked a Chinese man and told him to go home. I don’t think he even spoke English.
I wake up at nights at times thinking about this and am so disgusted with myself.
Image source: DukeSilver_2023, Kahar Erbol
#11
When I was 10 the neighbour across the street would bully my mother. I found out they we’re going on vacation and I snuck across the street at night out their hose in their basement window turned it on and left.
The damage was astronomical and I ruined their Lives for awhile.
Image source: Wooden_Switch3453 , prostooleh
#12
Well some people will joke about it. I made an nsfw confession to my girl bestie. And well in response she cut off friendship with me mentioning super formally (I need to take a step back from this friendship now).
Don’t always confess your intrusive or nsfw thoughts people.
Image source: Sorry-Nope5233, Getty Images
#13
I’m into other guys.
Image source: Legitimate-Neat1674, Getty Images
#14
When I worked at Chuck E. Cheese, I sold tokens and pocketed the money, to help my wife and I. I was making double what they were paying me!!
Image source: Dizzy_Magazine684, denithy
#15
I used to sell pictures for $ during a bad part of my life. I had one guy offer me $100 for a singular picture, so of course I sent him it. Then I never got the money. The next time he messaged me, I demanded the $100 before I’d even consider sending him anything else. He sent me it and I blocked him.
Image source: throwawayplane113, A. C.
#16
Three weeks ago, I had s*x with this girl in exchange for a magic the gathering card. It wasn’t even a pricey MTG card, I just really needed it, and she really needed me.
Image source: zZach_Attack, Ryan Quintal
#17
Me and an old coworker used to race the forklifts around the outside yard when the boss wasn’t around, I also rode a boom lift to get into a roof a couple times as they sent me out to a place with a ladder that was to short.
Image source: sovereignofbeauty, Getty Images
#18
I use to frequently climb ladders without maintaining 3 points of contact.
Image source: GizmoSled, Getty Images
#19
Boned in my college girlfriend’s dorm room. Little did we know her roommate was napping in the papasan under her (roommate’s not gf’s) bed. She came out like 15 minutes after we finished. No idea if she was awake or asleep for the ordeal, but I find it hard to believe she slept through all that.
Roommate never acted weird about it but she was a pretty free spirit. I really enjoyed her company even if we were never close friends. She also had a chronic illness for the year or so I spent hanging with her and gf and I’d give her massages to alleviate her soreness. Had I been as bold as I am today I’d have probably just asked her whether she was awake while gf and I got busy that day. She was a real chiller and probably just didn’t want to interrupt and either way we would’ve had a laugh about it.
Abby if you’re out there, were you awake the whole time?
Image source: JacobMaverick, Toa Heftiba
#20
I was working at RadioShack when they announced they were closing permanently. The manager didn’t give two shits about anything, so we took pretty much whatever we wanted home that night, within reason. Still have all my cables, chargers, and some other stuff from that night. Probably a few hundred bucks. I was conservative compared to others.
Image source: culjona12, ryantmcknight
#21
In high school me and about 5 of my buddies worked at a local golf course, one kid in the cart barn. One summer for about 2 months a few times a week we would get drunk and play poker, after midnight we’d go to the golf course, go in the cart barn (cart barn guy would leave it unlocked) and take a bunch of the range balls. We’d go to a local really small lake and hit the balls into the lake for hours. Lake had a little concrete filtration system about 100 yards out and we’d try and hit it. Was so much fun.
Image source: Cute_Recording1678, Matthew McBrayer
#22
I was sexualized at a REALLY young age. I remember playing legos with my older female cousin at the time and we were playing ‘house’ with the Lego people and she played out a scenario where a boy and girl went into a closet and made out and she described n****e play. She also knew where my dad’s p***o stash was so there were times she was babysitting me we would just look at p***o mags together. I couldn’t have been older than 5 or 6.
Image source: acemonsoon, Getty Images
#23
I almost lost my virginity to a super senior when I was 14.
Edit: I was 14 at the time and she was 19.
Image source: CognitoH4zrd, Aedrian Salazar
#24
In high school I was in a very bad place, depressed, suffered emotional a***e at home, bullying at school and had gone through what I’m starting to accept was SA. I’ve always loved writing. So one day I wrote a poem-type of how I was gonna m****r the bullies at school, and a list of names, didn’t sign it, but left it on a teacher’s desk for them to find. I dunno, it was a cry for help maybe. I’m sure teacher found it and did nothing about it. I was expecting they’d recognize my writing or carry out a not unusual backpack & lockers search and seize. Nothing happened. I wasn’t gonna come through the plan anyways, but it was shocking to realize how little f***s they gave about it. (btw I wasn’t in the US by then).
Image source: ViceNSpice, Curated Lifestyle
#25
I cried when Tony Soprano died
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