Moms and dads always want what’s best for their little ones, but navigating life as a parent is challenging. There are a million different books, podcasts, and mommy bloggers telling you the right and wrong ways of feeding your children, talking to them, and raising them in general, so making decisions for your kiddos can be stressful.
There’s no perfect way to parent, but recently, Reddit users have been sharing their two cents when it comes to what can be harmful for impressionable little minds. Below, you’ll find some common behaviors moms and dads do with the best of intentions that might actually backfire, so we hope this list provides some new perspectives for all of you parents and future parents. And be sure to upvote all of the answers that hit home for you.
#1
Not taking the time to explain themselves on certain topics. The whole ‘do as I say because I said so’ or ‘because I had you’ is not effective.
Image source: LiteLit, Monstera Production
#2
Try to fill every minute with organized activities such as traveling sports leagues. Don’t get me wrong, some extra curricular activities are good, but when your kids never have an unaccounted for minute I think it has a negative impact.
Image source: nothingbutM, Pixabay
#3
Not apologize when they’re wrong
Image source: Mlaer7351, Andrea Piacquadio
#4
They fail at letting their kids fail and figure out how to recover. It prevents the kids from becoming resilient.
Image source: BS623-902, Julia M Cameron
#5
Not discussing money with them.
I’m not saying parents should dump their financial stress on their kids, but things like budgeting, taxes, and personal finance discussions would’ve helped me tremendously.
Image source: Particular-Natural12, Karolina Grabowska
#6
Over sheltering them. You can’t protect your kids 24/7 for their whole lives. It leads to naive adults that get taken advantage of.
Image source: Chosen_of_Nerevar, cottonbro studio
#7
Comparing them with other kids🤦
Image source: Physical-Gene-6427, Alex Green
#8
Shouting at them instead of having a conversation
Image source: therapoootic, Monstera Production
#9
Might sound a little contradictory but either not disciplining them or disciplining them way too much
Image source: RandomRamblings99, Karolina Grabowska
#10
Passing on food issues by commenting on their children’s weight or what they eat etc. Or commenting on their own weight and food habits– always dieting and putting themselves down.
I am so lucky my parents and family have a healthy relationship with food, and thus I do as well. I have adult friends who have all kinds of messed up food issues precisely bc their parents messed them up.
Image source: profmoxie, Ketut Subiyanto
#11
Telling them “That’s nothing to be sad over, some kids don’t even have ______”
Now I repress my feelings and cry whenever I have to let them out, never believing they’re valid :)
Image source: tshirtbag, Yan Krukau
#12
Not encouraging them to learn basic skills like cooking for fear it’ll *MaKe a MeSs*
Image source: Bulky_Parsnip8, Daria Obymaha
#13
Never telling them ‘no’
Image source: Imnotsureanymore8, Monstera Production
#14
Treating sons and daughters differently.
Image source: SleepyKoalaBear4812
#15
I’ll add my two cents here, not seeking therapy for kids who are showing signs of depression or other mental issues because they think they are just “a little sad” or “he’ll get over it”
Image source: RunningInAHurricane, Pixabay
#16
Yelling at them for dropping/breaking/spilling stuff.
Not their fault!
And way to teach them they can’t come to you when they accidentally f**k up in the future.
Image source: redhead_instead, EKATERINA BOLOVTSOVA
#17
Putting excessive pressure on their children to meet their own unfulfilled aspirations.
Image source: mazamaka321, RDNE Stock project
#18
Forcing them to interact with their adult friends, then ridiculing them for not wanting to socialize with rando adults, and then humiliating them by bringing up an embarrassing moment as a “hilarious” anecdote.
*”Come on down and say hi!”*
*”OH, LOOK WHO FINALLY DECIDED TO JOIN US!”*
*”Oh, this is the funniest thing! Did you know she still wet her bed until she was six! Six! AHAHAAHAHAH!”*
Image source: Lady_von_Stinkbeaver, August de Richelieu
#19
Not letting them learn how to mourn.
On a grander scale, there’s this idea of not letting your children suffer. We all know it’s important to let them struggle a little to learn how to cope.
But one no one ever talks about is allowing your child to mourn a loss. If a beloved toy breaks, go buy a replacement ASAP! If a pet fish dies, go buy a replacement ASAP! You’re teaching the kid to just replace things they’ve lost instead of processing the loss. So what happens when they lose something that can’t be replaced? They don’t know what to do or how to handle it. Like, let your kid cry over their dead fish for a few days and bury it in the garden with some flowers before asking if they’d like another.
People think it’s small, oh it’s just a toy, but losing a beloved toy is likely the closest thing a kid has to losing a person or a pet they’ve had for years like a dog. Let them learn to mourn their lost teddy bear so they’ll build those processes and when older, can mourn the family dog, etc.
Image source: Blessed_tenrecs, Yan Krukau
#20
Forcing them to eat. My mom always made me finish my plate, eating disorder and lifelong obesity ensued. I’ve successfully quit smoking way easier than going on an effective diet.
Image source: drMcDeezy
#21
Thinking them as property. We all understand parents are responsible for the offspringss actions but they aint property.
Image source: humandronebot00100, Kristina Paukshtite
#22
Giving them stupid names or with stupid spellings.
Image source: namvet67, Monica Turlui
#23
Forgetting what it was like to be that age, and expecting their kids to react differently to things than them when they were that age.
Image source: MunkRubilla
#24
Not respecting their privacy because it’s “their home” . Barging into their room , asking them to leave the door open etc…
It give kids anxiety. And it last .
I moved to my own place and sometimes I still look at the door expecting it to open etc…
Image source: KimHaRin
#25
Forgetting that a kids brain isn’t fully developed like their own.
Also, shaming in any way of something your kid is into. Trying to learn about it is actually quite helpful and a good way to connect. And, parents can learn things that they like too. I didn’t know I liked Pierce the Veil until my 12 year old liked them and I wanted to check them out
Image source: ChrystynaS, Ketut Subiyanto
#26
Having a toxic relationship and staying together for the “sake of the kids”
Image source: mockingjay602
#27
Not teach them to think for themselves
Image source: GimmiwCoconut, cottonbro studio
#28
I was raised with the motto “If you lose, you can’t come home.”
My great-grandfather said it to my grandmother when she was being bullied by a boy.
My grandmother said it to my mother when she ran in the house from a girl who was beating her up; kicked her out and locked the door. “If you lose, you can’t come home.”
For me, there was no one incident. It was just a mantra. And now I am absolutely afraid of failure of any sort, I come to work hours early to prepare and stay late to make sure I’ve got it right. Same with my hobbies, and every part of my life. I cannot be bad at anything. Free time only exists as practice/study/training time. The amount of pressure I put on myself is not healthy.
I’m 38 years old, and I haven’t spoken to my mother in 10+ years.
But I almost always win, and I’m f*****g amazing at the things that I do. Small consolation. Parents f**k us up, man.
Image source: Urkchaloi, Pixabay
#29
Shouting, makes kids scared of it , not a good thing to be scared of as a adult
Image source: hippopotamus5791, Andrea Piacquadio
#30
Not allowing questions about beliefs/self discovery. I was raised in a very, very religious and conservative home that did not allow questioning about any of the beliefs. Doubt the existence of god? They’d sit me down and grill me for hours about the evil of the devil, his temptations, how I’d go to hell, etc. etc. Don’t think conservatives are the best? Get called a f*****g commie. That’s my parents for you.
edit: Holy s**t, my first reddit award. Thank you, kind internet stranger!!!!
Image source: lewie_820
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