First off, let’s talk about Teddy’s haircut. Or hair piece? I was so distracted by whatever hair plugs have been implanted into Teddy Bear Conrad’s head that I couldn’t focus on the rest of the episode. I had the same reaction to the new, surgically improved Portia De Rossi on Arrested Development. The point of cosmetic surgery is to alter your appearance, which means the audience can detect that you … altered your appearance. But nevertheless, you can’t blame ol’ Teddy Bear for putting in hair extensions. I imagine everyone on the show is a little bit jealous of the gorgeous mane on Connie Britton. There’s even a twitter handle for her hair (@ConBritsHair). ConBritsHair’s last post says “Dreaming of somewhere warm and blowing in the wind.” None of us can compete with hair like that.
But now that Teddy is a man with a revenge motive and with new, fluffier hair, he can charm the pants off of Megan who Deacon identifies as a woman with a “savior complex.” She just loves helping men out when they’re at their lowest point. (If that’s true, why didn’t she scoop up Avery at the Blue Bird when he blew his record contract and had to give back that sweet car?) But I digress; maybe I haven’t given Teddy Bear enough credit. He’s had an ax to grind after Deacon found out he was Maddie’s biological father. I think that since Teddy can’t sing or play an instrument his only recourse in Nashville was to harass the local hottie lawyer Megan into helping him with his “Lamar killed my wife” case. And since Megan has been cagey about what kind of case is keeping her away from the loving arms of Deacon, we know that her business may be turning into bizness. I mean who is a bigger victim in the Nashville world than Teddy Bear? He lost his pig blood scheming wife Peggy to an assassin, Rayna never really loved him, and his daughter Maddie realizes that Deacon is the cool father. And to top it off, Lamar was the one who really got him his job as the Mayor. Teddy Bear needs a hug.
Teddy’s insatiable quest to determine who killed his late wife brings the loose ends of the James family house hold together. Lamar comes back home from prison, a little thinner and worse for wear. Rayna organizes a family welcome home (complete with the daughters singing adorable songs for their grandpa) and Tandy is reticent to accept the offer. In fact, Tandy only stays for a hot 30 seconds until she bolts for “business reasons.” Rayna, who knows a thing or two about keeping secrets from her family, picks up on Tandy’s discomfort. Teddy Bear Conrad also strolls by on his day off from being the Mayor to drop the bomb that Tandy was going to testify against Lamar. I like to imagine that he also decided to do some laundry while he was already there. And maybe make a nice sandwich for himself. Rayna is incredulous and confronts Tandy who admits that she was going to set up Lamar but also leaves a nice little present for Rayna in terms of documents that confirm he had a hand in their mother’s death. It seems that just when Rayna was putting the pieces of her life together, one race car at a time, things are falling down around her. Somewhere, Megan is in the bushes waiting to pounce because she smells rock bottom. Rayna wastes no time in asking Lamar what he’s been up to and he confesses, tearfully, that he chased Rayna’s mom away who ended up in a car accident because she was leaving him. And also, yep he killed Peggy “Pig Blood” Conrad. Rayna and @ConBritsHair cannot handle it and those lovely curls bounce out of the room.
But things are looking up for everyone who is not related to Rayna James. Deacon decides that Avery is qualified as a sound engineer for his album at the Blue Bird and gives a fantastic concert. Juliette makes an appearance at said concert after hiding out in Avery’s apartment. Deacon gives a quick look at Avery and Juliette and decides “I like it.” Scarlett makes an appearance, with her newfound chemically enhanced energy and makes everyone uneasy when she is happy for everyone who has wronged her. See kids, nothing wrong can come from a mystery jar of pills that music genius Liam gives you. Trust this man.
And in plot points that no one cares about, Gunner and Zoey have an awkward moment where he tells her that she can be defined by working at the Blue Bird and being his girlfriend. Will decides to have his prior paramour fired from Edgehill records, leaving skeezy Jeff to do what he does best by breaking people’s hearts through business decisions.
Bulleted observations:
-Deacon Clayborn hits below the belt when fighting with Megan: “Are you some kind of tragedy junkie?”
-How awkward would it be for Teddy Bear Conrad if Lamar lives?
-No Luke Wheeler in this episode, do we even miss him?
-Best moment of the show: Juliette Barnes hiding underneath the covers when Deacon comes to visit and Avery describing her whereabouts “she’s laying low… keeping her head to the ground.”
-Gunner has not nor will ever forget that Will tried to kiss him.
-I know Gunner was struggling to notice what was new with Zoey, but I solved the mystery. She straightened her hair.
-And lastly, don’t ever mess with Avery’s pillows.
[Photo via Mark Levine/ABC]
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