Understanding human behavior is a real-life superpower. It can help you handle awkward situations, build stronger connections, and even influence people when you need to.
That’s why today we’ve rounded up psychological tricks that real people swear by, from getting people to listen to handling tough conversations or steering strangers your way. These clever little hacks prove that sometimes a tiny mental shift can make life run a lot smoother. Keep scrolling to see which ones you’ll want to try tonight!
#1
I give my children jobs to do when they’re about to lose it. For example I ask them to help me find something if we are at the supermarket and they’re bored and hangry. Please find this thing mamma needs, can you choose the flavour ice cream this week? We will all get a big bowl when we get home. They feel very important. They’re part of the team. Crisis averted.
Image source: anon, Getty Images / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#2
“Energy matches energy.”
When my kids challenge me, get angry, I lower my voice. I keep lowering it until they stop to actually be able to hear me.
It resets the “temperature “of the room, and it helps them slow down and refocus.
Same thing with adults. I’ll just respond calmly “I’m not raising my voice- why are you?” And repeat it if necessary until they follow suit.
Problanketlife:
I’ve also heard with kids (probably more for older ones) to say “I really hope, when you’re older, you don’t allow someone to speak to you in the way you are speaking to me now”.
Image source: GemmaTeller00, Tim Mossholder / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#3
Ask people questions so they feel more important and respected and they’ll like you more.
sursgoatcheeseballs:
This. I have social anxiety & it makes life so much easier bc it also takes the focus off of me.
Image source: Fliepp, Kübra Arslaner / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#4
Being very kind to unfriendly people. It works like a charm.
Image source: Witty_Jello_8470, Yunus Tuğ / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#5
Opposite Action. It’s a dialectical behaviour therapy skill where you do the exact opposite of what your emotions are telling you to do. It literally changed my life.
For example, you might have identified that you are feeling fear over public speaking. The opposite action would be to dive right in an try speaking or asking a question.
For me, it’s helped with my binge eating. When I’m feeling overwhelmed and want to binge, I try to do the opposite and go for a walk or something equally as productive as that.
I’m probably butchering the concept and I know it sounds really simplistic, but when I started to do this, my life started to change in many ways.
Image source: anon, Natalia Blauth / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#6
CBT techniques for anxiety… examine your fears… using “What if” and “what’s the worst that could happen” and keep asking that until you realize the fear is irrational.
Image source: cosmicloafer, Gabriel Ponton / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#7
I started a new job as a manager of a team.
My boss had told me about the team beforehand including details about the resident slacker. I decided to use a technique I’d learned in the army.
Within a few days of starting, I “chose” the slacker to be my stats guy and gave him a list of reports that I wanted. The deputy took me aside and said that she didn’t think it was a good idea to give him that job because he couldn’t be trusted to complete it efficiently.
The job was done effectively and efficiently and so I gave him more to do and kept slowly increasing the responsibility.
Within a year, he’d been promoted out of my team and became one of the best developers at the company.
The way the army do it is to put the trouble maker in charge of a platoon or a small team. They’ll either rise to the challenge and so all good, or f**k it all up so badly you can get rid of them.
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#8
Separate the person from their action. My daughter isn’t “naughty”, she is a good kid who did a naughty thing. That way they font go in the whole self fulfilling prophecy thing of thinking they are a bad person. Also, focusing on the mood / emotion that triggered the “bad” behaviour. My daughter snatched a toy from someone else? She’s probably frustrated at the thought of sharing her toys and wants some 1 on 1 attention- I will take her to a different room and give her that. *I* will also learn from the triggers and try to avoid that in future- my daughter gets tetchy after spending 4+ hours with friends, so we make sure that playdates don’t exceed that. If we are doing something all day with someone then we will go somewhere separate for lunch so our daughter has time away from being social.
Image source: Problanketlife, Getty Images / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#9
Give your negative thoughts a name.
It will help you recognise your negative thought patterns, it will give you space to look at things with more distance and will help you with not taking your thoughts too seriously all the time.
Like “oh no there is Cruella again, don’t take her to serious, she’s trying to bring me down again, don’t listen to her”.
Image source: Designer-Pizza-X3X3, Kristijan Arsov / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#10
I used to have enormous trouble falling to sleep because i kept thinking about problems i had and how to solve them. Eventually i told myself ‘there’s no sense in thinking about this now, everyone you need to help you with this is asleep’. I just kept repeating this to myself for a few weeks and eventually my mind just gave up on trying. It still works decades later.
Image source: Wrong-Mixture
#11
Validation, validation, validation.
We all think we’re better at validating than we actually are. But it’s easy to get better at it by practising
When you acknowledge to somebody that their emotions make sense, given the situation and/or their life experience, everything gets easier.
Once somebody feels adequately validated, they start to move on their own.
Image source: anon, Andrej Lišakov / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#12
When someone is saying something inappropriate or offensive I like to pretend I don’t get it and ask them to explain.
hasturoid:
I did this to my Cheeto-sucking neighbor who was complaining about everything being “too woke”. I asked him what woke is, acted completely dumb, and he couldn’t give me an answer. I’m originally from Sweden (in the US since ‘03) so I just pretend that I don’t know these terms. Now he thinks I’m an ignorant Swede and leaves me alone. And I am a-okay with that.
Image source: BandTop, Jeremy / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#13
If you are in a fight/argument with someone, let them vent, stay quiet, and make eye contact with them for a least 30 seconds to a minute. This makes them calm down a bit, and if they’re the ones on the wrong, it helps them break it down and realize they’re fighting over nothing. I’ve tried it a couple of times, and I ended up getting apologies from both of them using this tactic.
Image source: freybay_alldayslay, Getty Images / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#14
Everything I’m seeing is “tricks” on others, but I have one for myself! Tasks/chores seem so overwhelming most of the time (thanks depression and anxiety), so I end up not doing them, which is a big problem. So I set an alarm on my watch for 3 minutes, that’s 3 minutes I have to dedicate to a specific task/chore before I allow myself to take a break. When the timer goes off, I’m usually not done with the task. Sometimes I’ll finish it because it’s almost done, but if I feel too overwhelmed or exhausted I allow myself to take a break, usually about 5 minutes. And then I set another 3 minutes for the task.
There’s a few reasons this is effective. 1. Instead of a big task, I’m only dedicating 3 minutes to it, with no pressure or expectation to finish it at that moment. 2. Because it’s only 3 minutes, I typically spend more time on the task each interval “since I’m already up”. 3. Instead of punishing myself for not doing the insurmountable list of things I need to do, I reward myself for the things I am doing.
Before I would look at a long list, start to panic, and not do anything while thinking about it all day. Now I can knock out most of a list with just the initial panic before I start to tackle it.
Image source: AgitatedBug8228, Annie Spratt / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#15
When I have to approach problems with people that could lead to conflict, I try to paint the conversation in a tone of us VS. the problem. Even if this problem is something they caused, I don’t blame them directly. I treat the problem as the problem and not the person who caused the problem. This helps a lot in working out solutions without burning relationships. Most people just want to save face. Give them the opportunity, and they will silently thank you for it.
Image source: kilk10001
#16
Server here, when a table is unhappy and/or I have to deliver bad news, I crouch at the end of the table to put myself physically lower. It makes me less threatening and aids in de-escalation, making the whole thing smoother, and sometimes recovering my tip.
Image source: devenburns31
#17
It’s not a trick but asking for clarity about what my role in the discussion is, I have found helpful.
Are you telling me because you want my help in fixing the problem?
OR are you telling me because you want me to listen as you think through it and work out a solution yourself?
Image source: Greaser_Dude
#18
Silence. It’s disturbing to many. It can be used in many scenarios.
Image source: LadyFrith, Joel Danielson / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#19
I’m genuinely nice to people, amazing how that tricks them into being kind back..
Image source: seven-cents, Aleksandar Andreev / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#20
When negotiating, shut up as much as possible. Don’t make an offer first if you can help it.
You: “How much is this?”
Seller: “I’m asking two hundred.”
You: *(Nod, sigh, stare at item, silently count to 20, whatever…)*
Seller: “That’s a fair price. I paid five hundred when it was new and it’s in good shape.”
You: “Two hundred?”
Seller: “Yes.”
You: *(Nod, sigh, count to 20, etc…)*
Seller: Although I suppose I could let it go for one-fifty if you’re interested…”.
Image source: PaulsRedditUsername, Getty Images / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#21
Nodding yes when asking a question when I want someone to say yes… works very well in the restaurant industry….
Image source: MidniteOG
#22
Not sure if this is a trick, but I watch people’s actions rather than what they say.
Image source: anon, Curated Lifestyle / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#23
My trick works on myself. If there’s something I don’t want to do like get out of bed, get out of the shower, work, start a hard conversation or something scary I’ll count from 10 to 0. The key is when you hit zero you MUST do the thing. You can’t ever fail, that’s the power in it. You know if you start that countdown you’re jumping out of the airplane at 0. I’ve been doing this many years and In my weird brain at least it’s effective.
Image source: anon
#24
“This too shall pass”
People compliment me often on how calm I am when something goes bad.
I just don’t freak out 99% of the time.
I use a mind trick where I think of something bad that happened before, and now it is over (or mitigated).
Then I picture myself a year from now in my mind and work thru the process of living in peace- what do I need to do to be peaceful about this situation this time next year?
At 56, my life has had many ups and downs, but my emotional health remains peaceful using this trick.
That 1٪ when I do freak out, pray it is not directed at you 😉🤣.
Image source: Doggie_Daycare_2022, Faruk Tokluoğlu / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#25
When somebody asks you a questions you rather not answer.
Just don’t answer and look at them.
Image source: anon
#26
“Gifts to future me” is a trick for myself that works well. If there’s something little I could easily put off, but that would be more annoying to have to deal with later, I sneakily do it ahead of time so future me will be delighted to have it taken care of. Things like setting up the coffee to have a pot ready in the morning because future me will be groggy and so happy to have it ready, or laying something out I need to take to work tomorrow. I try to treat future me like someone I’m trying to delight and surprise and it always works well. Acts of service is my jam, so it’s super effective. :).
Image source: vertigowool, Tamara Harhai / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#27
I ask my 5 year old daughter if she’d like two pieces of broccoli or three pieces of broccoli, then laugh silently as she’s having the biggest grin on her face, thinking she “won” by only having to eat two instead of three. at the end she just ate her veggies, and is happy she did. its a win-win.
Image source: haxxn7, Patricia Prudente / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#28
Maybe a bit of a weird one but if your job involves taking calls from angry customers (or parents in my case) and they are becoming overwhelming, stand up.
I’m not sure why or how this works (I’m sure someone here brighter than me can explain) but it makes me feel more in control of the conversation and less like a verbal punching bag.
Image source: _Nymphology_, Resume Genius / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#29
Once you start a task, you’re halfway done.
Image source: United-Sail-9664, Kateryna Hliznitsova / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#30
If I need to get up and clean my house, I drink some caffeine and then put on shoes. Tricks my brain into thinking we are going somewhere.
Image source: QueenSema, Faruk Tokluoğlu / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#31
“that’s not acceptable” works surprisingly well to get customer service do what you want. My mom will use this whenever their internet company runs a promotion for new customers to have a cheaper rate than her current bill. She’s gotten her bill reduced every time.
Image source: speedyeddie, Kateryna Hliznitsova / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#32
When I want to remember to do something, I put an item physically out of place. So when I see it, I recall what I needed to do.
Image source: happygoluckylady1212
#33
When I need my two year old to do something she doesn’t enjoy like brush her teeth before bed I don’t say: it’s time to brush your teeth. I give her an option to either: brush her teeth or do something she hates like wash her face. She picks the toothbrush every time.
Image source: Flashy_Remove_3830
#34
When you hang up on someone, do it while You are talking. This way it seems like.
anon:
Bonus Points: For iPhone (and presumably android), you can put your phone on airplane mode when doing so, that way it says “Call failed.” My “friend” did this to me for several years without me catching on.
ireallyamtired:
I do this 😹😹 I feel like a little b**ch for it but I have a family member who will NOT stop talking. I always answer phone calls because of potential emergencies but when I hear that my family member wants to talk for over an hour, I’ll put my phone on airplane mode.
Image source: GotMyOrangeCrush, Getty Images
#35
Giving someone a choice between doing 2 things instead of doing nothing…or a choice about how/when they will do the thing in question. ex: asking my brother “when” he’s going to take out the trash. he can’t just say “never” so i get a time :).
Image source: Big-Wishbone2430, Faruk Tokluoğlu / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#36
Never assume people do something to you with bad intentions. Assume misguided good intentions, unthinking carelessness, or even apathetic indifference, and you will most likely live a much happier life.
Please note: I don’t mean to say that people never have bad intentions. But 999 times out of 1000, they really don’t .
Image source: pingienator
#37
Letting people prove their own incompetence.
Image source: Accomplished-Sir-777, Cherrydeck / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#38
I used to live in a walkable city and – unfortunately – was accosted many times by people wanting money or loose change or whatever. Before I learned this trick I must’ve given out hundreds of dollars to these unfortunate people – I didn’t know how to say ‘no.’ I was in **college** and was basically give away half of my minimum wage paychecks.
But then I thought of a plan: I will pretend I did not hear them correctly and that I think they are offering ME something (like a pamphlet) or want me to take a survey. As I’m walking by and they begin to talk to me (usually about how they are stuck in this city and need money to get to Miami or some s**t), I just say “**Oh thank you but I’m okay**” or even “**No thanks, I’m fine.**” It totally stops them in their tracks and breaks up their trick of trying to snare me into a conversation with them.
Now I can give money to people when **I** can control the situation and not be caught off guard.
Image source: GradStudent_Helper
#39
Used to work doors at clubs lot, a good way to de-escalate a situation is if they’re shouting at you go back at them at a similar volume but a bit quieter, they’ll come down to you, you go down more and keep going.
It’s not bullet proof but it works more than I’d have expected.
Image source: TheCommomPleb
#40
When I lived in NYC I was at a bar and wanted a beer and a shot, me being the nice guy I am I offered to purchase a shot for the bartender as well. They politely declined, after a few more rounds and I was ready to settle up they gave me a shot on the house. I started offering to buy the bartender a shot every bar I went into, assuming it wasn’t slammed and was manageable. Almost every single time it resulted in me getting a free beer or shot. I’m also a pretty charismatic guy which I’m sure has a lot to do with psychology(I’d be a great cult leader). I still do this when I’m in the states and it works but it worked the most for me in NYC.
Image source: anon
#41
It’s not really a trick I use but something that helps me understand people. Most people who insult you are subconsciously using the insult that would hurt them the most. Meaning at the same time they’re insulting you, they’re revealing what would hurt them the most.
Image source: Flying_sky_bear
#42
Kind of a sales tactic.. when you want something, give the other person several options that your willing to do and let them choose. It makes them feel empowered from choice while you get what you want in the end.
Image source: Old_One_I
#43
Eye contact. Firm and unwavering eye contact. This is absolute GOLD if you’re arguing with someone, or trying to get information from them.
Most people do not like to be gawked at, especially in stressful situations. More often than not, the opposition will be immediately on edge and defensive. This is usually when they get sloppy and lose their cool. Play your cards right and you won’t even have to raise your voice. Just your eyes.
As for the intel gathering, steady eye contact paired with silence and a neutral facial expression will almost always make the other person feel like they need to keep talking, just to fill the silence. Start the interaction by repeating a statement they made with an upward inflection at the end to sound like a question. The goal is to give them enough rope to hang themselves with, in exchange for very little effort on your part. Give the impression that you already know when, where, how and why they f****d up, and that you are graciously giving them the opportunity to come clean about it.
Eye contact, minimal speaking, and the best poker face you can muster.
Image source: HotCartographer4114
#44
Body language. It doesn’t matter what you say, but when you send certain signals via body language (eg. Eye contact when talking vs listening, smile or its absence, touch etc etc) it always works on a biochemical levels.
Also compliments. And reward in a form of acknowledgment of achievements. People love it and love you even if they understand that you do it with that purpose, it still works.
Image source: Longjumping-Basil-74
#45
When I’m super stressed about an upcoming event (usually a medical appointment or some social event), I pretend it’s a week or a month after the event and that the event wasn’t that bad at all. It helps me to get over the anxiety leading up to the days, hours, and minutes leading up to the event. In my mind I know the event isn’t that big of a deal, but anxiety always messes things up. So thinking beyond the event is the game changer for me.
Image source: cleochatraa
#46
If my kids are giving me a hard time about eating something I tell them It’s ok they’re probably not big enough yet …then they eat it to prove me wrong.
Image source: pickmeacoolname
#47
Let’s say you want to play rock, paper, scissors and win. If, when you ask a person to play, you hold your hand in the shape of the scissors and shake it up and down so that they see it. The person you are playing will more likely choose rock on the first game because they think you will pick scissors.
I have tested this and it worked pretty well.
Image source: Zeplinehord
#48
Service industry trick: I rarely say sorry to a customer when I make a mistake, instead saying “thank you for being patient with me” or something along those lines. Instead of focusing on your error you’re bringing attention to how the other party is great for putting up with you.
Image source: ABSOLUTE_RADIATOR
#49
Combat drama with obvious boredom.
Image source: Logical-Cap461
#50
My mom calls it the dumb blond approach.
Being a woman in a male dominated field, asking questions. My work is wrong, “please explain what’s wrong so I can do better next time,” and have the person walk through everything. This is especially true when nothing was wrong, they just want to correct you on everything.
I’ve used this in interviews, with bosses, and coworkers when I had more knowledge in an area. They tell me I’m wrong, I start asking questions, “oh? Can you help me understand why that would not be the case in x, y, z situation?” I don’t want to call them on not knowing, but it usually ends in them either admitting they aren’t sure or googling it.
You’ve got to be genuine about it though. Be curious, be questioning, be unsure.
Image source: esotericbatinthevine, Paige Cody / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#51
I’ll text my family individually for mc donalds when theyre all out. They don’t often communicate with each other. I end up with 3 meals for the day. They wonder why I’m never hungry.
Image source: Hot_Yesterday5267, Owen Vangioni / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#52
If you want to know all the gossip at your workplace or in your friend group, never ask for it. Don’t be nosy. At work, I never ask for any gossip (mostly because I’m not interested). It is odd how much gossip people just spontaneously dump on me. And I never repeat it (because I usually forget it). It’s weird.
Image source: Anonymoosehead123
#53
In the brief second after people laugh, they will look towards the person who’s opinion they care the most about. Same with where your feet are pointed in group conversations. VERY important information and imo it’s never wrong.
Image source: trisaroar
#54
I never raise my voice no matter how angry I am. I keep an even soft tone and keep eye contact. I work with a lot of big men this has saved me more than once.
Image source: tryoracle
#55
Call your parents. That way you’ll be interrupting what they’re doing instead of the other way around.
Image source: Vindelator
#56
Understanding that 90% of what people say is dictated entirely by their own mood and past experiences and there’s actually very little information to glean from it, so there’s no point in taking things personally. It’s like emotional judo – you don’t need to worry about “keeping your cool” with a prickly person, you just don’t ever accumulate any stress from them in the first place.
Image source: anon
#57
I’ve used this one…. If I am wanting to get an idea accepted at work, I will say something like “Remember that idea you mentioned a couple of weeks ago? (insert idea). People are so eager to take credit, the idea can gain acceptance. I’ve even suggested the same idea to multiple people, who each think they came up with it.
Image source: cnukcnuck
#58
I win 90%+ of debates I get into by setting the person up to make my point for me.
A humans first instinct is to contradict others in conversation.
I simply bait the person into contradicting me on something I know they agree with me on…then they are stuck backtracking and literally making my point for me.
Image source: SnooHesitations4922
#59
“Play the tape forward.”
Any time I want to engage in a behavior I think is bad for me, visualize the short term benefits, then visualize the negative mid-to-long term consequences.
Image source: iamthemosin
#60
To avoid being killed, I’m extra nice to the quiet odd people at work. It works 100 percent of the time and as a bonus, they have someone to help them navigate social situations and you can stop small matters blowing up and save you time solving issues.
Image source: One_Cup2807
#61
When I was living with my ex, I had brought by bed from home to set up in our spare bedroom. It was a twin sized daybed with a trundle bed underneath. It wasn’t difficult to put together, but it was too big for me to do myself. I asked him for months to help me with it, and he would brush me off. So, one night, when I got home before he did, I set everything up to put it together. I waited until he pulled into the lot of our apartment building and started putting it together. When he came in, he started helping me despite my “protests,” and we finally got it done in like half an hour. Manipulative AF, but it was the only way to get it done. I don’t miss having a man that I have to trick into doing things that need to be done.
Image source: occasionallystabby
#62
Letting people tell their story in reverse.
Our brains lie forward. Putting the thing in reverse makes the holes in the story pop out.
It is a little more difficult then just telling them. Gotta use some good questions or convo guidance.
Image source: Thijs_NLD
#63
Masking. it is very helpful to hide that you are actually not doing well or that you have difficulties with things. as someone with adhd and depression I wouldn’t want to miss it!
Image source: toomanythoughts4me
#64
Telling people I’m autistic in advance hoping it will reduce ableism
Does it work? Not often.
Image source: kelcamer
#65
When i have a long walking to do, (given exemple Walking back home After a long service) i juste Tell myself there is only 1/3 of the path left to travel
It is very effective and the best is that it Works for the others too.
Image source: Eloyndel
#66
This may not work in every situation but because I am younger than everyone in my office by 25 years or more they question if I can even do the job and tend to ask me a lot of questions even about stuff they themselves don’t know anything about. What I do is I just answer everything confidently and use big words. they won’t know what certain words mean and give up on trying to understand and speaking confidently on top of that makes it seem like you know what you are doing.
Image source: anon, Andrej Lišakov / unsplash (not the actual photo)
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