If fathers get to flaunt their dad jokes, then moms absolutely win the game of funny catchphrases. They also excel at plenty of other things, but this is an article dedicated to the catchiest mom catchphrases, and as you’ll soon see for yourself, they’re as universal as they are unique. Basically, you can tell any mom apart by the way they make chicken soup and by their catchphrases. The funny mom phrases in this list come from this awesome Reddit thread, and since they weren’t written by some middle-aged dude clacking away at his keyboard for money, you can be pretty sure the moms in question are pretty real, and most of these funny catchphrases will be something that a mother would absolutely coin.
So, the main question here, perhaps, is what makes the perfect catchphrase. And, as luck would have it, the key to decoding the recipe for fame is in the name itself – a catchy phrase. Now, a catchy phrase must be memorable, must roll off your tongue in the most pleasant manner, and in this particular case, it must be the essence of a mom itself. Thus, most of these funny phrases in the list talk about topics that we’d very often associate with mothers, like feeding a horde of ever-hungry kids, helping everyone around the household to look for misplaced things, and being a tad bit ironic, while transmitting love every step of the way. Oh, and they also rightfully glorify all the funny moms out there!
Right-o, ready to read up on a galore of hilarious and painfully relatable mom catchphrases? If so, just scroll on down below and read them all! Don’t forget to give your favorite mom phrases your vote, and share this article with anyone who might find it funny, too. Oh, and once again, our praises to the people who shared their mom’s catchphrases on this awesome AskReddit thread – they truly are incredible!
#1
-eDgAR- said:
“English is my mom’s second language so there are certain things that she gets mixed up. My favorite thing she does that I find incredibly endearing is her saying, ‘The welcome’ instead of ‘You’re welcome.’ I have even started using it with my friends and they use it too.”
NeonFlavoredSkittles replied:
“My mom, also a native Spanish speaker, mixes up English phrases all the time. So like instead of ‘A taste of their own medicine,’ she says ‘A soup of the same taste.’ My friends love it lol.”
Image source: -eDgAR-
#2
“Listen to me now and believe me later.”
Image source: level 1 LifeOfThePotty
#3
“‘Y’all gonna make me lose my mind up in here.’
My mother could never resist quoting DMX when we were being bad.”
Image source: fortheworkmtf
#4
“English is my mom’s second language, so instead of saying ‘It’s my way or the highway,’ my mom says ‘My way is the highway.'”
Image source: reddit.com
#5
“‘Are you drinking enough water?’
Headache? Drink more water. Upset stomach? Drink water. Bad grades? You need more water. Bone protruding from your knee? Drink some water, you’ll be fine.”
Image source: calinaxoxo
#6
“OMG HE IS SO CUTE I JUST WANNA GRAB HIM BY THE CHEEKS AND THROW HIM INTO A FAN.”
Image source: gerstworth
#7
“Yelling in a midwestern accent ‘I’M NOT YOUR FRIEND I’M YOUR MOTHER!'”
Image source: hestirthebestir
#8
“If you had any brains, you’d be dangerous.” – Mom
Image source: boblablaugh
#9
“She likes to say ‘y’all’ a lot even though she’s a tiny Sri Lankan immigrant. It’s my favorite thing.”
Image source: Nimbus-Rose
#10
“If you’re bored it’s your own fault.”
Image source: NettyTheMadScientist
#11
“‘Wait! This bit’s poisoned!’
Said every time she walked past me, while I was eating something; then promptly followed by her grabbing the “poisoned” bit of whatever I was eating and eating it herself.
She did this every day while I lived under her roof. She still does it every time I visit or we go out for dinner.”
Image source: vmlm
#12
“Flouncing in from whatever excursion she was just on:
‘Any calls from my fan club?’
My brother and I are fist-fighting to the death and tattling on one another:
‘Hit him back’ (while casually flipping the page in her tabloid trash mag)
Something is unfair, children tell her they think so:
‘Thanks for sharing your opinion. I don’t care.'”
Image source: crunchytinyfleurs
#13
“I’m not sleeping I’m just resting my eyes.”
Image source: Cayne912
#14
“Act your age, not your IQ.”
Image source: PreceededSoup
#15
User No 1 said:
“I made you, I can just as easily destroy you.”
NopeImWorking replied:
“I brought you into this world, I can take you out of it.”
Image source: reddit.com
#16
“Make good choices!”
“Have fun just don’t do inhalants.”
Image source: juicyfruit180
#17
“‘Annnnnd We’re off like a herd of turtles!’ Every time we left the driveway. Every. Single. Time.”
Image source: Wiskerbiscuitlove
#18
“God doesn’t need a damn, he can walk on water.”
Image source: sociallyineptmilk
#19
“Whenever it was time to leave somewhere she would say ‘Let’s make like a baby and headout.'”
Image source: aldy127
#20
“Better to have it and not need it, than to need it and not have it.”
Image source: billardfillmore
#21
“You’re not going anywhere with me looking like a ragamuffin.”
Image source: Odogogod
#22
“When looking for something mom told us to find, and we either legitimately couldn’t find it, or we were being lazy: ‘If I find it, I’m going to beat you with it.’
We had a good childhood, though.”
Image source: IncompleteInsecure
#23
Lone_Ponderer said:
“She runs through each of the kids’ names before she gets to the one she actually wants to call.
‘Ti-Jaa- Sarah!'”
thetransstruggle replied:
“My mom has 5 teenagers and 3 dogs. She will cycle thru a bunch of their names every single time.”
Image source: Lone_Ponderer
#24
“We’ve got food at home.”
Image source: Andy_7071
#25
“She has so many, and I dunno why this is the one that comes up first in my mind, but she always says ‘If you can’t open it, you don’t deserve it.’ This phrase (which sounds a bit more whimsical in the original Serbian) goes for everything from bags of chips to those plastic packages school supplies come in. She shows no mercy when something’s really hard to unwrap or pry apart.
I have subsequently gotten very good at opening hard-to-open things, and am now the go-to pickle jar guy.”
Image source: etymologynerd
#26
“‘This ain’t a democracy. This is a dictatorship.’ Generally said after we said something was not fair or so we perceived to be unfair.”
Image source: PersnicketySwizzles
#27
“Know what I mean, jellybean?”
Image source: little_calico
#28
“‘You’ll never guess what your father did this time.’
Dad’s always pulling s**t, and mom can never wait to recount his latest act of what is usually brash stupidity.”
Image source: VictorBlimpmuscle
#29
Buttowskie said:
“Stop that crying or I’ll give you something to cry about.”
Astronomer_X replied:
“Doesn’t cry at all:
‘So you think you’re tough now?'”
Image source: Buttowskie
#30
“She, unfortunately, passed away back in May. But she always told me this phrase every morning when I would wake up and it has really stuck with me,
‘Another day, another golden opportunity.'”
Image source: Jlfraser555
#31
“Don’t get hurt, ‘cause we ain’t going to the hospital!”
Image source: sweatersaus
#32
“This is not a hotel!”
Image source: CuriousWaterBear
#33
“Youre cruisin for a bruisin.”
Image source: dablife4200
#34
“Never believe them when they say they’re on the pill.”
Image source: Moooney
#35
“Well s**t happens, and then you die.”
Image source: thebunnychow
#36
_kaceyn_ said:
“You JUST ate.”
okey_dokey_bokey replied:
“Finish your plate.”
Image source: _kaceyn_
#37
“This is why we can’t have nice things!”
Image source: ServoWHU42
#38
“What do I always tell you?… Mom is always right.”
Image source: reddit.com
#39
“All I know is, I love you.”
“I’m doing the best I can.”
Image source: Grinder901
#40
“I saw it on The Facebook.”
Image source: LL_Cool_Joey
#41
“I’d let you guys (me and my older brother) starve to death, but it would cost too much to bury you.”
Image source: audioprod
#42
“‘I know stuff’
She’s said many times she ought to get that on a t-shirt.”
Image source: pouralaura
#43
“‘You crack me up, Carolina.’
Am dude, not even close to my name. Just my momma.”
Image source: reddit.com
#44
“You got McDonald’s money.”
Image source: aangsbison
#45
“‘It’s a good thing you’re cute ’cause you’re not real bright!’
Said to me and my siblings whenever we do something stupid.”
Image source: SingleSparkExplosion
#46
“‘I can’t make you do what I want, but I can make you sorry if you don’t.’ Lady’s not unreasonable but is very skilled at coming up with good punishments and sticking to them.”
Image source: reddit.com
#47
“I don’t think my mom had one, but my childhood best friend’s mom did. As we got out of the car to go to school in the morning, every day, without fail, she would say ‘Be good, be kind, be gentle, be holy’. I’m the furthest thing there is from a religious man, but I’ll remember those words for the rest of my life, and I do my best to abide it.”
Image source: level 1 Nose-Nuggets
#48
“‘I gotta flip a titty!’ Anytime she has to U-turn while driving.
Also ‘Kiss my a** in the middle of the main street’ She’s been saying this so long I remember a time I said it to one of my elementary school teachers. I imagine that was fun for my mom to explain lol.”
Image source: Mightybuu
#49
“‘Quick like bunnies!’ Every time we’re running late.”
Image source: Reana23
#50
“If I drop something or slam a cupboard while doing something she asked:
‘I didn’t say break the house!'”
Image source: reddit.com
#51
User No 1 said:
“‘Hello, stranger’
Whenever we talk on the phone.”
checkthisoutson replied:
“Yeah, mine exclaims ‘I Have a son!!'”
Image source: reddit.com
#52
“After finding something I was looking for: ‘If it was a snake, it would have bitten you.'”
Image source: MrDaveW
#53
“You’re wrong again. You can’t avoid me, son.”
Image source: brown_gentleman
#54
“Just saying!”
Image source: ellieellieoxenfree
#55
“At the grocery store and looking at prices:
‘What? Do they put gold in it?'”
Image source: GoreyFeldman
#56
w0w0lf said:
“‘Look with your eyes, not with your mouth’
heard this one too many times when asking mum to help me find stuff.”
augmentthinereality replied:
“I always got: Look with your eyes and not your hands. Or: Your eyes are in your head not your fingers.
Mostly cause I liked to touch stuff as a kid.”
Image source: w0w0lf
#57
“‘Choices and consequences’ recently I quoted it to my daughter (she was dancing in the bath, slipped and banged her head) and I realized I am my mum.”
Image source: pinkglitteryseaglass
#58
“‘Hang on, Sloopy!’ when taking a sharp turn in the car.
‘Aw, man! That’s the pits! What’s up with that??’ when something doesn’t go well.
‘I still wonder where your father was the night you were conceived I’m adopted and this is insinuating that my father and I have so many similar mannerisms that he is actually my biological father.
Yes. I know the last one is weird.”
Image source: firesidefire
#59
“When something bad happens to me, she’ll always try to correlate it to something unrelated.
e.g ‘You’re sick? Probably because you spend so much time on your phone.’
e.g ‘You scored badly on your tests? That’s god showing you that you haven’t been faithful to your parents.’
I could go on but you get the drift.”
Image source: zuliboy
#60
“Whatever taps your toes.”
Image source: Krehi
#61
“‘You are an immature!’
English is not my mom’s native language. I’ve tried to tell her it’s “you’re immature” for 30+ years now.”
Image source: Z0MBGiEF
#62
“‘Anything worth doing is worth overdoing.’ She applies this equally to both work ethic type stuff and fun stuff, like birthday parties.”
Image source: shortstack1386
#63
“Oh, I have a coupon for that!”
Image source: AnnoyedFloyd1210
#64
“I ain’t mad at it.”
Image source: ComicBookFanatic97
#65
“Would’ve, could’ve, should’ve, didn’t.”
Image source: reddit.com
#66
“‘Might as well slit my own throat’, usually said after a mild inconvenience like being told she couldn’t have a cup of tea prior to a medical scan.”
Image source: AWildEnglishman
#67
“‘Finesse, not force’
I have to admit over the years it’s helped me step back and take a breath before I end up breaking something to s**t in frustration.”
Image source: LittleBupBoy
#68
“‘You have diabetes’ don’t know why but every single medical problem (even a cough) and this is the first thing that comes out of her mouth.”
Image source: reddit.com
#69
“‘Well, that cheap old sausage sold quickly’
When people move too fast in a relationship.”
Image source: 098asd43hf7g
#70
“‘Always bring a sweater.’ We never listen and we are always cold. She says she wants it put on her tombstone
She also says ‘Let’s do it, to it!’ when we’re off to go somewhere. She’s a cutie.”
Image source: larra_rogare
#71
“‘Have some decorum’
I am not, and never have been, a very ladylike woman.”
Image source: somecatgirl
#72
“Well, everyone says they’re a terrible person, but they never did anything to me.”
Image source: BassGuitarMonster
#73
“Here are a few nuggets:
‘You gotta plan your work and work your plan!’ – she watches too much Dr. Phil I think
‘I’ll slap them into next Tuesday!’ – anytime someone gives her flack
‘I had to give up smoking and drinking for four months while pregnant with you!’ She’s never smoked and doesn’t really drink.
And finally, for nostalgia… Every time she would take me out shopping when I was young, we’d get back in the car to drive home and she’d look at me and exclaim, ‘We did good, bubby!'”
Image source: ButWhatDoesItAllMean
#74
“In a heavy Wisconsin accent, ‘Well other than that, I don’t know much.’
This is her cue that it’s ok for me to say I need to get off the phone now.”
Image source: walla_walla_rhubarb
#75
“‘Go now or forever rest in pee.’ before any long car trip.”
Image source: reddit.com
#76
“Do I look like boo boo the fool?”
Image source: emme158075425
#77
“I’ll sink you like the Maine.”
Image source: reddit.com
#78
“My mom tells me ‘Beso de Judas’ or ‘Kiss from Judas’ whenever I’ve done something wrong and I try to kiss her for forgiveness.”
Image source: aoglam
#79
“Things are getting too spicy for the pepper!”
Image source: jdtalley83
#80
“‘Love you lots like Jelly Tots’. I grew up in South Africa but live in the USA now, and Jelly Tots are a South African sweet. She texts this to me often!”
Image source: tazzkirk
#81
“Watch your mouth or I’ll goose your balloon knot.”
Image source: reddit.com
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