Thanksgiving dinner is meant to bring the entire family together. The holiday is about gratitude, togetherness, and finding that silver lining, no matter how dark the clouds may be. But on the practical side of things, dinner won’t cook itself. And placing the burden solely on the breadwinner’s shoulders is asking for too much.
Internet user u/OrcinusVienna vented online about how her mother-in-law insisted that she cook dinner, even though she has a grueling 12-hour shift on Thanksgiving. Scroll down for the full story and to read the internet’s reactions. Meanwhile, Bored Panda has reached out to the author for comments, and we’ll update the article as soon as we hear back from her.
Thanksgiving dinner doesn’t magically cook itself. It’s a huge challenge, and the fair thing to do would be for everyone to pitch in if they’re free that day
Image credits: artfolio / freepik (not the actual photo)
The breadwinner of her home shared how her mother-in-law tried to pressure her into cooking Thanksgiving dinner for the entire family, despite her having to work that day
Image credits: Mitriakova Valeriia / freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: OrcinusVienna
No matter if it’s the holidays or just a regular day, you have to protect your boundaries and well-being
Image credits: bokodi / freepik (not the actual photo)
Boundaries are probably the most important aspect when it comes to having healthy and happy relationships.
In a nutshell, communicating your boundaries and then enforcing them allows you to prioritize your needs in a way that lets you stay true to your values.
On the other hand, if you don’t let anyone know about your boundaries or you fail to enforce them, then this leaves a lot of room for other people (unintentionally or otherwise) to behave in ways that are unacceptable to you.
But that’s the thing, nobody is a mind-reader. So if there is an issue, you need to address it instead of hoping that it’ll resolve itself on its own.
However, if the problematic individual continues to ignore your boundaries, they need to see that there will be consequences.
For instance, if you tell them that you’ll spend less time with them or that they might even be disinvited from a family dinner, you need to go through with those promises. But all of this is easier said than done. Nobody wants a massive family argument around the holidays.
What’s invaluable, though, is your significant other’s role in everything. No matter what happens, you need to have each other’s backs. With them in your corner, fully supporting you, no number of in-law-related dramas can spoil Thanksgiving.
Emotional baggage and unresolved issues can ruin holiday get-togethers. Part of making things work means accepting people for who they are, despite their flaws, while also enforcing your boundaries
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According to psychiatrist, psychoanalyst, and psychopharmacologist Samuel L. Pauker, M.D., and writer and editor Miriam Arond, emotional baggage can derail family gatherings. So, you need to prepare yourself emotionally for any get-togethers for the sake of a happier holiday season.
One of the ways that helps you weather the holiday stress is to try to let go of all the negative feelings that have built up over the years, just for a day or two.
“You can always come back to examining family issues, but, for the holidays, try to Be Here Now, as Ram Dass, an American spiritual leader and yoga guru, advised in a book of the same title. By bringing all your emotional baggage to the holiday table, you set yourself up for an unhappy experience. By letting go of hurt and hostility, you give yourself a chance to enjoy the holiday. Don’t deprive yourself of a good time,” Pauker and Arond write in a post on Psychology Today.
Meanwhile, if you think that the holidays will be stressful, try to de-stress hours or days in advance. You could do some yoga, practice meditation, do deep breathing techniques, etc. When you’re relaxed, you’ll be less likely to escalate any conflicts that might be brewing.
Furthermore, even if you think that you’re in the right, it’s still helpful to put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Consider their perspective and think about the underlying reasons why they’re behaving in a way that irks you. There might be some underlying mental or physical conditions at work here, too.
Pauker and Arond also stress that it’s vital to learn to accept yourself and others, as no family is perfect. “There are some things we can change. Other things we can’t. Part of attaining happiness is appreciating what is.”
What are your thoughts, dear Pandas? How would you handle your in-laws demanding that you cook for them after a long shift during the holidays? How do you defuse any lingering tension among your relatives during family get-togethers? Are you celebrating Thanksgiving this year, and if so, what are you cooking (hopefully, with everyone else’s help)? Let us know in the comments below!
Here’s how internet users reacted to the story. Many of them were sympathetic, and some of them had practical advice to share
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