Office dynamics are often difficult to navigate because one misstep can make things very awkward between coworkers. Since those are the people you have to work with, day in and day out, it’s better to think things through before making any waves.
This is what one man realized when he finally stood up to his young coworker, who had been flirting with him every chance she got. His extreme bluntness didn’t go down that well, which made him worry whether she’d try to take revenge.
More info: Reddit
Office romances are a potential landmine and should be navigated with extreme caution
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The poster shared that he’s a 32-year-old happily married guy, and that his workplace recently hired an 18-year-old who began getting too friendly with him
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The teenager seemed to have a crush on the poster as she would draw little hearts on his notepad, stare at him, and pretend she was his “work wife”
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The poster felt that constantly bringing up his wife would stop the teen’s advances, but he finally had to confront her when she asked him if he was truly happy
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After the man’s blunt confrontation, the teen became silently hostile, which made the poster worry about her possibly complaining to HR about him
Things had been going well for the poster before his young colleague joined the company, as he had never faced any workplace drama prior to that. After she started working there, it became obvious that she was trying to flirt with the OP, but he certainly didn’t want to give her the wrong impression.
When uncomfortable situations like this happen at work, it’s tough to know how to deal with them without offending the other person or creating a scandal. That’s why experts state that it’s important to communicate about one’s professional boundaries early on, so as to avoid these kinds of advances.
The poster initially tried to shut the young woman down by bringing up his wife as frequently as possible and how much he loved her. He probably thought that she’d get the hint and stop flirting with him, but his course of action might not have been direct enough because she still kept being extra friendly with him.
Another mistake that the man made was not bringing up this situation to his wife, so she was completely in the dark about how everything had progressed. This is exactly why psychologists advise always being open with one’s partner about a workplace romance or crush, as it then becomes easier to get the situation under control.
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
The poster’s indirect way of setting boundaries with the young woman obviously backfired, because she later tried to hang out with him after everyone had already left the office. The man couldn’t take it anymore, especially after she let her fingers linger on his hands and tried to probe into his life.
After the poster confronted the 18-year-old, her demeanor immediately changed and became hostile, which freaked the guy out because he didn’t know if it meant trouble for him or not. To understand how to deal with a tough situation like this, Bored Panda reached out to Peter Duris, the CEO and co-founder of Kickresume.
Peter told us that “dealing with unwanted advances at work can be very uncomfortable. If you find yourself in a similar situation, it’s always best to speak with HR as soon as you can. Nobody should be made to feel uncomfortable at work. If a coworker becomes hostile after you set a clear boundary, reach out to HR to see if they can help resolve the situation.”
He explained that speaking with HR and addressing one’s concerns allows them to handle the situation, and can help protect you if your coworker tries to turn the situation around. Peter also shared that “if you are being targeted by a specific coworker, it’s best to avoid being alone with them whenever possible as a precaution.”
Obviously, the man didn’t want to hurt the young woman’s feelings, but he knew he needed to stop things from progressing further, which is why he had been so blunt. Hopefully, the 18-year-old learns a lesson from this experience and doesn’t try to push past people’s boundaries even when they seem to be uncomfortable.
How would you have handled this kind of office crush? Let us know if you agree with the OP’s actions or if you feel he should have reacted differently.
People advised the man to go to his Human Resources department immediately and tell them everything
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