We’ve all heard of “the way to a person’s heart is through their stomach”, but what happens when dessert causes heartbreak instead of delight? Sometimes, the ways we show love just doesn’t always land the way we hope.
What feels like a thoughtful gesture to one person can be misunderstood or overlooked by another, leaving even the most caring partner feeling frustrated or confused. Today’s Original Poster (OP) found himself in this situation, but couldn’t have been able to tell that it would lead to the end of the relationship.
More info: Reddit
Love isn’t just about grand gestures or sweeping declarations, it’s also about understanding how your partner feels loved and appreciated
Image credits: Renato Leal / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
The author and his girlfriend have been dating for six months, and he enjoys baking desserts to show his love for her
Image credits: david-silverfield
Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
She expressed that she doesn’t feel special when he bakes, believing he does it more for the hobby than for her
Image credits: david-silverfield
Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
She became increasingly distant, and this left him worried about the future of their relationship
Image credits: david-silverfield
Image credits: Drazen Zigic / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Before he could address it, the girlfriend requested a break due to being busy with work and life, creating mixed signals as they sometimes become intimate again
Image credits: david-silverfield
Image credits: david-silverfield/ Imgur
During this last break, with little contact, she eventually told him she met someone else, leading to the end of the relationship
The OP shared that he had been dating his girlfriend for six months. He also shared that he loved baking, and often made treats for her as a way to show love. For him, baking was both a hobby and a gesture of affection, but the girlfriend didn’t see it that way. In fact, she felt that his love of baking overshadowed her and didn’t make her feel special.
Things took a turn when the OP noticed that she started distancing herself. At this point, he started worrying about their relationship because he truly valued her and even envisioned a future together. He also noted potential misunderstandings due to his thick accent and English not being his first language. Still, he needed to know what was wrong.
Before he could even fully address anything, the girlfriend initiated a break saying that she was stressed from work and also had work stress and life commitments. This wasn’t the first time she had requested space, apparently, as the OP explained that her demanding career in advertising meant overtime and fluctuating schedules.
Eventually, during this break, the girlfriend revealed she had met someone else which the OP heartbroken, grappling with the abrupt end to a relationship he deeply cherished.
Image credits: david-silverfield / Imgur
Understanding love languages can shed light on why the OP’s thoughtful gestures didn’t have the intended effect in his relationship with his girlfriend. According to Healthline Media, people express and receive love in five main ways including words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, acts of service, and receiving gifts.
They explain that misunderstandings can occur when partners express affection in ways that don’t align with what the other person values most. In this case, baking, which falls under “acts of service” was the OP’s way of showing love, but the girlfriend may have prioritized a different form of affection, like verbal praise or quality time, making her feel less appreciated.
BetterHelp further explains that conflicts can arise when acts of service are misinterpreted. If the intent behind these actions isn’t clear, the partner might think the gestures reflect personal hobbies or obligations rather than genuine affection.
Bayview Therapy highlights that openly discussing love languages is crucial for ensuring partners feel valued and understood. When couples talk about how they give and receive love, they can tailor their gestures to each other’s emotional needs, creating a stronger connection.
Netizens felt the girlfriend’s behavior was a red flag from the start, calling her reactions controlling and unreasonable. They were also of the belief that she had already checked out of the relationship.
What’s your take on taking “breaks” in relationships? Are they a healthy reset or just a slow-motion breakup? We would love to know your thoughts!
Netizens insisted that the girlfriend’s complaints had nothing to do with baking and that she had already been looking for an exit
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